'Twilight' Limited Edition Custom Hand Painted Pacifier
Do you really want to breast feed a baby that looks like it has fangs and is going to suck more than breast milk? I sure hope not, sicko. $13.50. [Etsy]
No, this isn't a real baby, it is a doll that is made to look like an exceptional creepy vampire baby. It looks like it's going to eat me. Make it stop! $650. [Etsy]
The only thing creepier than wanting your baby to be undead is wanting to sexualize your baby into wanting to wait for an undead lover when she's not even strong enough to hold up her head. $18. [Etsy]
I'm not entirely sure what you do with a towel with a hood on it, but now you can put your head right in the wolf's mouth. That doesn't sound too dry. $30. [Etsy]
I have never once seen someone actually use napkin rings, but apparently Twihards are having a lot more dinner parties than the rest of us. What, they can't fold the napkins into Bella swans? $10.50 [Etsy]
The problem isn't that the listing calls this a "duck tape" wallet, it's that, well, just imagine the looks you'll get when you take this out to pay for anything. $8.50. [Etsy]
Furniture for 'Twilight' Dolls Handmade Chaise Lounge Bed Book Cover Pillow and Table
You can't have 'Twilight' dolls and not give them a place to sit, faint, or brood! They need their own Tiny Furniture (Lena Dunham not included). $39.99. [Etsy]
You always thought Edward could light up a room, but this is ridiculous. Couldn't they at least put the switch in his crotch like they do for the Statue of David? $4. [Etsy]
No, the sculpture is not HER hands, it's the weird pieces of yellow bloated macaroni under the far-too-large apple. It looks like an explosive bird's nest$30. [Etsy]
Can you believe how much this costs? For that money, I'll blow my nose in a tissue, stick some beads to it, and tell you it looks like a pale potato. It will look as good as this thing. $115. [Etsy]
Bottle caps? What the hell are you going to do with bottle caps? You can't put them on a bottle or a wall. You can put them on an ugly iPhone case, I guess, but that's it. This is the ultimate in dust-collecting wastes of space. $4.99. [Etsy]
