They say that you and your spouse should try to take on one another's interests. The perfect way to get that going, force YOUR interests onto THEM (and then maybe they'll forget about the other part). It's a cinch — just head on down to the sporting good store and pick up one of these top quality bowling balls. Your husband or wife will forget in seconds that he/she HATES bowling, and everything will work out just swimmingly. [Fox]
With this chic number, you'll be the life of any party, the toast of any town, the rabbit in any top hat. Not only is it stylish, it comes with the added bonus of overwhelming guilt whenever you take it off, thanks to Aunt Clara's tireless devotion to handcrafting it just for you. [MGM]
The latest item from General Electric's Christmas lineup doesn't have you running around the house, juggling appliances when you're tasked with scanning photos AND shredding paper — this handy little gadget does both! It's just a little tough to figure out which "P.S." means "Photo Scanner" and which one means "Paper Shredder." Then again, nothing ventured... [NBC]
They're cute, they're cuddly, they're hardly any trouble (see fine print for details). All rumors of their transformation into bloodthirsty beasts have been greatly exaggerated. The perfect gift for any lonely Goonie-in-training. [20th Century Fox]
Why bother heading out to buy someone a gift, when you've got perfectly good junk lying around your house already? This food processor (the one that your pal gave you for your wedding) is top notch, and it'll cost you nothing. It's the perfect housewarming gift for the very guy who gave it to you in the first place, or birthday present for a 5-year-old! [Dreamworks]
Newly Rejected from the Mr. T Collection: This Gold Bracelet! ('Friends')
What better way to show your friend and roommate how much you appreciate him than by dipping an undercooked bagel in a vat of gold and sticking it around his wrist? This gargantuan fashion statement will repel not only any new women you might find appealing, but will work to alienate your standing group of friends and family members! [NBC]
Everybody loves a gag gift. Consider this simply committing to the joke full force. To the point where it's a life-threatening explosive, disguised innocently as a present. Anything for a laugh! [NBC]
When you give your heart to someone, you might be hoping for a return of these sentiments. A validation of your longstanding love. An elated declaration that the two of you should run off and be together forever. But none of that compares to a pen! If this nifty writing utensil is mightier than a freakin' sword, think of how much better it is than some lousy profession of undying love! [20th Century Fox]
Ah, what a thrill it'd be to arrive at your place of work to find that your entire station for commanding your day-to-day routine has been bundled ceremoniously in wrapping paper. And an even bigger thrill shall befall you when you realize that there's actually NOTHING inside the shapely formations of paper (double said thrill if you find this out while attempting to sit down on your gift-wrapped "chair"). Just another 9-to-5er! [NBC]
It is his gift. It is his curse. It is the fun and thrilling ability to soar above New York City via your own threads of bodily fluid, but it is the responsibility to protect your fellow citizens, to face off against evildoers, and to never let a pizza delivery go tardy. [Columbia Pictures]