Like the rest of the Big Brother, I had wanted to see Frank evicted since Season 14's early weeks. Not only had he dared to be in an alliance with creepy Family Guy neighbor Herbert, but was also so accustomed to winning competitions, he became Big Brother's sure thing. Not in the bedroom, silly — JoJo had a lock on that title the moment she got lost on the way to Seaside Heights — but in the game. Just two weeks ago, it seemed impossible that anyone but Frank would nab the win this season. And that made him so incredibly boring.
But, in the past week, we'd seen a different side of Frank. A softer side. Turns out, even when he's mad, he's a steamed carrot — sweet underneath it all. Because, as we learned following his alliance with Dan, all Frank wants is a friend in the house. Someone who will be beside him to talk about girls, whisper across bed pillows, braid his majestic orange locks. (Pinterest reader Wil was such a missed opportunity.) His eagerness to trust someone — anyone — even if he was a former enemy, has become more adorable than the image of Ian holding a rubber ducky. (Turns out that image exists. Quack.)
It's such a 180 from the competition beast we're used to, that I can't find myself cheering about his exit. Even an exit orchestrated by my favorite player, Dan. In fact, the idea of a Big Brother without Frank is as sad as the idea that Chenbot has spent 14 seasons scouring Big Brother for a real, human heart. Partly because, as Frank told Chenbot, he “played a pretty honest game,” resting purely on his drive instead of tricky gameplay. But mostly because Dan is incomplete without his nemesis. Frank is the Joker to Dan's Batman; an unstoppable force met an immoveable object. Frank and Dan seemed destined to face-off forever. But, after Dan's Batman sends Frank's Joker off the ledge, what will happen? What could possibly come next? After you see The Dark Knight, isn't The Dark Knight Rises just all too underwhelming to fully embrace? That’s definitely the case, if we look at Thursday night’s episode. After Frank was finally sent out the door with a whimper — after his sixth time on the block — the expected happened. And it was incredibly disappointing. Turns out, as we learned in The Dark Knight Rises, Batman is not nearly as entertaining when he’s fighting a loud, brute force. For the second double eviction in a row this season, the could-be exciting hour of live television was used to send a floater packing. And while Thursday’s cut was necessary, it was incredibly underwhelming. Because we expect more of Head of Household Dan than to focus his efforts on a man who’s biggest threat is earplugs.
Especially when the move leaves Dan so vulnerable. Without Frank, Dan is the biggest threat in the Big Brother house. Without Joe, who was evicted anonymously after Frank, Dan can’t play to his social strengths to convince players an unlikeable player needs to go. With Jenn and Ian, Dan still might have numbers on his side — but only if Shane, a competitive force, and Danielle, Dan’s nomination choice against Joe, avoid a Head of Household win. Putting all your cards in Jenn and Ian? I’d prefer to draw the Joker.
That said, there are worse final two choices than Ian. Sure, there’s a very real possibility that Ian could beat Dan — at this point, he’s far more likeable, hasn’t yet won the half million, and has played a decent game. (I don’t doubt that it was Ian’s decision to go on the block against Joe before winning the Veto — hell, I’m not convinced he didn’t ask to be on the chopping block for the pure experience of it.) But the college kid is trying his hardest to put up a Dan vs. Ian charade — just like he watched Dan and Memphis do in Season 10. And Dan might have a hard time resisting. Not only do I choose to believe Dan has enough of a heart to want to see the enthusiastic outcast win his favorite game in the world, but once you go quack, you simply never go back.
And that’s why Dan is in danger of watching Ian become Season 14’s hero in the final two weeks of the game. Because Ian is transforming into Officer Blake. He’s the young, adorable up-and-comer who learns from the best — and becomes the best. We want to see him rise to the top. We want to see him inherit the Big Brother empire. We want him to be the only hero willing to kick himself in the head.
Of course, it’s hard to tell how the action will go down — clearly, after putting his former ally on the block, Dan will have a tough time smoothing things over with Danielle, otherwise known as Rachel Dawes 1.0 in this scenario. (The one no one wants.) But, then again, this is a contestant that once told Dan she would get evicted for him. And perhaps Shane’s seemingly tight alliance is not as strong as one would expect — after all, even his hair is trying to run away from him. But it’s almost a certainty that half the house will be gunning for the man Chenbot said orchestrated “the biggest move in Big Brother history.” And why wouldn’t they? Batman can survive anything. Even critics.
So is Batman complete without his Joker? Was Chenbot’s chat with Frank the most serious and somber interview of a man who wore a carrot suit ever? Do you believe Frank will still have “absolutely hard feelings” towards Dan once he’s in the jury house? Can Dan do anything to avoid a target? Did Joe deserve to get sent packing purely for unknowingly having a conversation with Dan... about Dan? How cute was it that Chenbot tried to ask Joe if losing everything and being generally unbearable was his strategy? And how many Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives does Joe have to watch before he’s kicked out of the jury house?
Follow Kate on Twitter @HWKateWard
[Image Credit: CBS]