Recap

'Glee' Recap: Sectionals, Slaps, and Second Chances

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Nov 30, 2012 | 6:43am EST

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We may be eating leftover turkey sandwiches, but Thanksgiving is just beginning in this week’s episode of Glee. The Unholy Trinity is reunited, the Jarley versus Ryley debacle has been settled, and Klaine fans are sure to be thankful for the shining glimmer of hope from the most amazing phone call ever. Plus the graduates have retuned to Lima and they’ve brought a whole lotta baggage with them. Reunited and it feels so… Glee!

So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:

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Home for the Holidays: She’s here, she’s here, she’s finally here! Quinn Fabray is back and the episode opens on the blonde beauty singing her heart out on the auditorium stage. Puck, joins in strumming all sexylike on his guitar and before we know it Mike and Santana are using their perfected pipes to sing “Home/Homeward Bound” as well. (Side-Note: Goodness gracious I am getting oddly emotional right now. I knew I missed the originals but I didn’t realize I would get this excited/teary-eyed just from seeing them all together!) Our dynamic diva Mercedes enters the room showcasing that power the new New Directions are certainly missing. But the cherry on top of a nearly perfect performance (We miss you Rachel and Kurt!) was when Finn walked on stage. His ex-girlfriend and best friend greet him with hugs and smiles and all our six original gleeks finish the song flawlessly. Quinn smiles, “Home for the holiday, just like we promised.” And our original Puckerman initiates a group huge that was surprisingly not as cheesy as most group hugs are.

The old gang heads back at the best restaurant in town, (Breadstix of course!) and the subject quickly turns to the MIA New Directioners: Rachel and Kurt. Apparently Quinn and Rachel are email pals, and Quinn explains, “Well she basically emails me every other week to remind me that I still haven’t used the train ticket that she gave me.” (Side-Note: That she gave you?? Oh no honey you gave that to Rachel! Don’t be changing your tale just because you’re too busy to leave New Haven.) Quinn then tells Finn that she’s sorry that things “went down” between he and Rachel, to which Finn maturely replies, “Naw it’s cool it’s for the best.” (Side-Note: We all know it’s not.) Final fun-facts that we learn about Quinn: she’s working to get straight A’s and has been tapped to join the only female secret society at Yale.

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Partner Up Y'all: Finn asks if the Originals will help him out with the Newbies and he then pairs everyone up: Puckerman with baby brother puck, Mike with Ryder, Santana with Marley, Mercedes with Wade and Quinn with Kitty. (Side-Note: I laughed so hard when Santana said “Wanky” after Kitty’s burst of excitement to be paired with Quinn.) Finn announces that Marley and Blaine will take care of the duet and for their showstopper, their doing “Gangnam Style.” (Side-Note: Blegh I hate that song!) And then Santanna launches into one of her famous and glorious rants: “Okay Lumps let me just say out loud what everyone is thinking, you finally have an okay haircut, you’re not doing that annoying half-smirk as much as you used to, but you’re still an idiot. No one in this room can tackle a massive dance number except for Britt and that includes you’re little hand-jive that to me looked more like hand-jo…” But Finn assures the group that they will find a strong male dance lead to because the keep up with the amazingness that is Miss Brittany S. Pierce.

Jake and Ryder are walking down the halls and it looks like their bromance is in full-swing. Jake gathers up the courage to tell Ryder that he and Marley went on a date last Friday, but he would reluctantly break it off with her if it meant that they were going to become mortal enemies again. Jake says, “For the record I wasn’t going to just hump her and dump her, Marley’s different.” (Side-Note: Oh wow. What a truly romantic thing to say. You kids and your poetry.) Ryder was surprisingly cool about the whole thing and told Jake that it’s all good as long as he doesn’t take the lead dance number from him, “You don’t get to have everything in this school.”

While the boys are perfecting the “Gangnam Style” dances moves (and Jake is totally holding back on his mad skillz), the ladies are in the choir room. Santana boasts, “We are winners which is why Finn has asked us to shower you with the inspiration that is The Unholy Trinity.” (Side-Note: Squee! They’re ba-ack! And more fierce than ever before!) The three lovely ladies then break into a perfectly synchronized, and hip-shaking version of The Supremes’ “Come See About Me.” It was very similar to “Say A Little Prayer” but much much better because this time Santanna and Brittany actually got to use their own voices. Once their perfect performance finished, Santana notices that Marley looks like she’s going to be sick, but Marley quickly brushes it off as exhaustion from rehearsing.

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There’s About to be a What? Girl Fight!: Kitty and Quinn strike up a quick bond—well it’s mostly just Kitty kissing Quinn’s booty. “You’re Quinn Fabrey and I idolize you,” Kitty says while revealing that she has a picture of the former cheerio captain taped up in her locker. (Side-Note: Creepy.) Kitty also reveals to Quinn that word in the halls is that Jake is pressuring Marley to have sex. “If that were to happen, well no one knows the dangers of a good girl mixing with a Puckerman better than you.” Quinn, runs into the Puckerman brothers in the hallway and she immediately tells Jake to back off of Marley. Puck then explains what is going on, “See that furrowed brow, lips pursed, hand on her hip? This is what I like to call Loopy Quinn. An irrational state that she apparently only reserves for Puckermans.” (Side-Note: The fact that Noah and Jake are becoming such good friends/brothers is amazing. I would gladly watch a spin-off starring these two just being awesome.) Quinn claims that she is looking out for the team by telling Jake that he needs to leave Marley alone so that she can be at her best shape for sectionals, but it seems like she may be projecting a bit on this one.

Luckily Santana sees Kitty for what she really is: "That bitch is pure evil.” Santana reveals that she found laxatives in Marley’s bag, and even though Marley denies that she has been using them, the former cheerio can tell that she is lying and thinks that Kitty is the one to blame. “Pretty little liar gave them to her I can sense it with my Mexican third eye.” Quinn says some mumbo jumbo that her psych teacher taught her and says that it’s time that Santana get over it. Get over what?! Quinn snidely responds, “You being jealous of me.” (Side-Note: I’m sorry Quinn but WTF? Have you seen Santana? She’s practically perfect in everyway! Except without that umbrella annoying children to look after) Quinn smugly continues, “That professor that I was talking about, well he’s 35, smokes a pipe. He’s divorcing his wife who hasn’t touched him for three years and I’m dating him.” This blonde is getting on my last nerve as she calls Santana “a scared little girl with low self-esteem who’s too frightened to chase her dreams.” Santana quips, “Did professor Patches teach you that one in between quickies on his office couch? Does he get so turned on by teen moms who barely visit their kid?” Quinn then slaps the crap out of her best friend and Santana quickly bitch-slaps her right back. Brittany bursts into the choir room and the girl fight is quickly over. (Side-Note: Holy crap! That three minute scene has left me exhausted, confused and oddly satisfied. I was SO excited to see Quinn again and now… not so much. And yeah has anyone heard from Beth recently?)

NEXT: Sectionals, NYC, and Klaine Happiness!

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Let's Have a Kiki: Over in NYC, Rachel and Kurt are walking and talking and we learn that Rachel didn’t get the part at her off-Broadway play, but she’s trying to look on the Brightside and prepare for her NYADA song. Happy News: Kurt re-submitted his application for NYADA! “I put it on Vogue.com stationary so that it would stand out.” It looks like our New Yorkers are deciding not to go to back to Lima because their don’t want to feel like their not moving forward with their lives. Rachel optimistically says, ‘Even though we don’t have our boyfriends, we still have our ambitions and our dreams…you are the only significant other I need in my life.” (Side-Note: That was the cutest thing I have ever seen. God I love Hummelbery. And Rachel’s coat.) The two declare that they are going to have the best Thanksgiving ever and they even pinky promise on it so you know that it’s serious.

At NYADA, Brody walks into the room and quickly announces, “Miss July said that she does not want to teach today because she can’t stand to be in the same room as your mediocrity again, if you ask me she just sounds hung-over.” So it looks like Brody and his amazing muscles are going to be teaching Rachel’s dance 101 class. Rachel quickly reveals she is beyond pissed that he slept with Cassie, but Brody doesn’t feel like dealing with her drama. “You’re not in high school anymore okay? We’re adults making adult choices. You made yourself unavailable. Don’t be that crazy girl who expects people to be able to read her mind.” There is a bit of an awkward moment when Rachel hopes that their sex “sucked” but Brody quickly counters, “Are you kidding? It was amazing, have you seen her ass?” (Side-Note: Brody! I don't want to hear this! I thought we had something special!) Brody tells Rachel that since it bothers her so much and he wants to be her friend, he won’t sleep with Cassie again. (Side-Note: Hmm. Yeah right. We’ll see how long that lasts.) The dancing dude then offers to come over on Thanksgiving to cook dinner and Rachel gladly accepts.

It’s thanksgiving! Brody is at the apartment and asks Rachel to help him butter up Tommy the Turkey. The scene is oddly sexual and also slightly uncomfortable. Luckily Kurt interrupts and says what we were all thinking: “When you two are done using that turkey as a courtship device would you put in in the oven?” Kurt opens the door the their fabulous apartment and a crowd of amazingly dressed people walk in claiming that Isabelle invited them to an “orphan party” for thanksgiving. Oh yup! Earlier Kurt invited his Vogue.com boss to come spend her sad and lonely Thanksgiving with them. Kurt then gets a call from Isaabelle and everyone watching does a double take because Carrie Bradshaw is running loose on the streets of New York—killer heels and all. (Side-Note: Did anyone else think that their TV’s accidently switched to Sex and the City for a moment? And I’m not complaining by any means. Love it.) The entire apartment then breaks into one of my newest favorite Glee performances: “Let's Have A Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time.” Sarah Jessica Parker (As Isabelle) completely rocks her dance moves, Kurt looks genuinely thrilled that all of this is happening, and Rachel’s voice is just as flawless as ever. Brody just kind of stands there looking dumbfounded.

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Second Chances: Kurt is calling Blaine! After weeks of “I’m sorry” phone calls and text messages, Kurt is final calling Blaine back! (Side-Note: I’m absolutely thrilled right now, so just let me have my moment okay?) Kurt is out on the fire escape and he reaches Blaine just before they are about to perform. Kurt begins, “You’ve said you’re sorry a million times, and I believe you, and I’m trying to forgive you, but I’m just not there yet. But it’s thanksgiving and it’s sectionals and I miss you like crazy. I can’t stand not talking to you even though I’m mad at you.” (Side-Note: Oh em gee, I’m dying.) The two express that they are still each other’s best friends and Kurt reveals that he wants Blaine to come to New York for Christmas so the two can have a mature heart-to-heart. Blaine, is absolutely over-joyed at this news. Kurt wishes his beau a happy Thanksgiving and for a brief moment the Klaine fandom freaks out because it seems like the convo is about to end. But Blaine bravely says, “Kurt I love you so much.” And after what seems like a lifetime Kurt sweetly responds, “I love you too.” (Side-Note: I just screamed so loud that my neighbor texted me asking if I was okay. He said, “I love you too!!” There’s still hope for one of our couples gleeks! Hopefully this gets the ball rolling and all of our beloved ships will sail back together. Squee!)

Sing it Girl: “When I was seven years old, I had a dream. It’s the first one I actually remember” recalls a hat-wearing Marley as she wanders down the McKinley Halls. “I was along on a stage wearing a beautiful dress. I couldn’t see the audience but I could feel the full house. They had all come for one reason: to hear me sing.” Now that the glee club is about to perform at sectionals, Marley is thrilled—and nervous as hell—for that dream to come true. The pressure is on for our new star, but she’s hoping that her momma’s words of wisdom will (“Don’t blow it!”) will help her stay focused. (Side-Note: How perfectly perfect was young Marley Rose? She looked exactly like the lovely Melissa Benoist! Bravo, unknown casting guy at Glee!)

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It’s sectionals and Marley is giving herself a Rachel Berry-esque pep talk in the mirror and reveals that she is starving but ready to take the stage. Unique is back in all her diva-glory and the New Directions (both old and new) gather together for a show circle. Finn gives an amazing and inspiring speech and they are ready to go with a “One-two-three-Aaahmazing!”

The Warblers are up first and their renditions of “Whistle” and “Live While We’re Young” are lovely and it’s clear that they have really stepped up their dance game. (Side-Note: Ugh why does Sebastian gel his hair like that now? You’re not Blaine so stop trying. In other news, I love you.) In a happy surprise, Wemma fans get to witness a super brief but oh-so sweet reunion when Will arrives to watch the New Direction take the stage. (Side-Note: Just get married already! We need Wemma babies!)

The Final Five: Marley is now promptly freaking the eff out. Jake sweetly tells his lady that it’s just nerves and that’s typically a good thing to have right before you go on stage. Marley quivers, “I don’t know how it’s a good thing when I haven’t slept in days and I’m sweating when it’s not even hot and if we don’t win it’s going to be all my fault. I’m going to let all you down, Finn, the graduates, my mom!” Marley is sobbing and Ryder takes this time to interrupt then and tells Jake that he wants him to take over the lead dance role. “You don’t put in the second-string QB just to be nice. We have to win this.” Jake agrees and the New Directions are announced to take the stage. Just before the music starts, Jake reassures Marley that she’s going to be great (Side-Note: Are these boys going to have to give Marley a super mega-pep talk before each performance? Because that’s gonna get old real quick.)

“Gangnam Style” begins and thanks to Sam’s sick shades and sexy moves, the song instantly improves. Plus Tina gets to take the lead on this one and does an amazing job perfecting the lyrics and pumping up the crowd. The song’s a hit, Kitty’s winking at the judges, Jake’s dance moves are perfect and the confetti is flying. Unfortunately, the high-energy performance proves to be too much for our starving-herself Marley and she faints at the end of the song. A worried Finn and Mr. Schue rush from their seats but the episode fades to back before we can find out what happens. Now that’s a cliffhanger y’all!

Most Heartwarming Moment: Kurt and Blaine’s “I love you’s”

Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Marley collapse on stage

Quotables:

”Hello? White Chocolate.”—Sam

”Easy Sam, it looks like you’re trying to mount someone.”—Puck

”Along with being beautiful, the three of us are national show-choir championship goddesses.”—Brittany

“Bros before Hos was always my mantra in high school. Well, it was after I knocked up my best friend’s girlfriend.”—Puck

“Twitter Update! Quinn is all excited about another guy defining her life.”—Santana

”Are you dancing or impersonating a horny epileptic?”—Jake

Vote it out!

<a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6731201/">What was the best song of the night?</a>

What did you think of this weeks Glee-tastic episode? How amazing was The Unholy Trinity’s performance? Are you happy that Marley chose Jake? Have you finished hyperventilating with Klaine excitement? Sing to me in the comments below!

Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera

[Photo Credit: FOX]

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