This week’s episode answered a lot of questions. After last week’s dramatic cliffhanger, all of the Glee fandom has been aflutter about The New Direction’s fate at sectionals. In “Swan Song”, not only did we get the answer within the first two minutes, but the powers-that-be at Glee have also decided to take throw a huge game-changer into the mix for the rest of the season. The New York storyline was heavily featured (finally!) and brought us four equally fantastic musical hits. Plus, Kurt gets his second chance to audition for NYADA and two new couples share some light lip-locking. Alright Glee-bees, let's catch up on all the sensational storylines from “Swan Song.”
So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:
Now What?!: The episode picks up right where we left off last week and the New Directions are panicking trying to figure out if Marley is going to be okay. Of course Santana and her Mexican third eye know exactly what’s been going on: Kitty has been brainwashing Marley into thinking that bulimia, laxatives, and starving yourself are good things. They’re not. Kitty quickly denies Santana’s claims asking why would she ever do something like that. Luckily our favorite fiery Latina has the perfect answer: “Because you’re a crazy, evil, bitch!” Mr. Schue rushes into the room and tells Santana and Puck to stay with Marley because the group need to get back on stage ASAP, “Leaving a stage mid-competition, for any reason is risking immediate disqualification.” Signal Coach Sue to enter the room and make everything a million times worst. “As all of you were spiraling into a self-created keyhole of crazy, the judges by unanimous vote have declared The Warblers victorious.” For the first time in four years, the New Directions have lost sectionals. (Side-Note: Holy crap! Now what? What’s the magical loop hole that they’re going to find this time?)
The very next day in school, Finn enters the choir room to see that an army of Cheerios has invaded their space and they are destroying everything in their path. Coach Sue is there and happily declares that this is her new practice space for her “brand-new French Canadian circus-inspired Cheerios side-project: Sue du Soleil.” (Side-Note: She’s a truly evil woman but damn, that’s a cool name) Apparently the mila-second the New Directions lost, Sue filed the appropriate paperwork and since the school is going through super-mega budge cuts, the glee club now has nowhere to practice. Sue holds the keys to the choir room and Becky asks her how it feels to have finally won. “I’ve gotta be honest Becky, I’ve looked forward to this moment for a long time and now that it’s finally here, I’m left with a strange empty feeling.” She is looking for a sign that she did the right thing and just then, our always-seen but never-heard piano player Brad walks into Sue’s office. Brad exclaims, “I cannot thank you enough. I can’t tell you how much I hate those kids! Do you know demeaning it is when they just turn to you and yell, ‘Hit it!” and you’re just supposed to know what song they’re going to sing? I’m free!” (Side-Note: Dick move Brad.)
Mr. Schue and Finn tell the New Directions that there is no more glee club until next September. Just then our newly over-opinionated Tina exclaims. “Can I just say what everyone is thinking? This is Marley’s fault. New Rachel my butt. I knew Rachel Berry, I was friends with Rachel Berry, and you Marley are no Rachel Berry.” Artie then adds in his two cents with a classic but quick, “Mmm hmm Preach!” (Side-Note: Um, hi harsh much? True Marley is a couple sparkles short of a tiara for thinking that she is overweight, but they should really be attacking Kitty!) Finn reminds the gang that they still have the holiday concert to prepare for saying, “If this is our Swan song, let’s make it the best It can be…I understand that we need a little shift of perspective but let’s just enjoy this week and look forward to our big comeback next year.” Sam then points out the humongous elephant in the room, “What about those of us who won’t have a next year?” (Side-Note: I feel so terrible for the seniors. Last year’s seniors made everything all about them, and as much as I enjoy the newbies, they’ve really been stealing the spotlight too damn much. Have Tina or Artie had a storyline this year? No. How many episodes have there been? Nine! That is absolutely unacceptable.)
A few days later most of the glee club members have all dispersed into new groups. Here’s the breakdown: Artie: Drum leader of the marching Band. Tina and Blaine: Cheerios. Blake and Ryder: Basketball Team. (Side-Note: Wasn’t Ryder already on the football team? Why do the writers keep changing all the little details? And yes I am still upset at last week’s Quinn comment about the train tickets) Unique: Floor hockey team. Joe: Interfaith Paintball League. Sugar: MIA. Over in the auditorium Finn is really upset that the majority of the New Directions have abandoned their allegiance to a club that no longer exists. Finn says that he was only able to get one timeslot in the auditorium (Friday night at 9:54) for them to rehearse for the Holiday concert. Marley happily chirps, “I’ll definitely be here.” and Tina snaps, “Yeah well we’d all be here if you hadn’t face planted at sectionals.” Burn. One by one the glee club members leave the room and soon it’s only Marley and Finn left standing in the dark. (Side-Note: If they ever pull an Ezra and Aria thing with Finn and Marley, I’m going to be furious.)
Brittana v. Bram: Brittany is walking down the hall when she notices an adorably odd thing: someone perfectly lined up a row of cheerios. So naturally our captain of the cheerios decides to eat the cereal off the floor and follow the trail into a classroom. Sam is happily waiting for her with a glass of milk and says that he knows that on Tuesdays she usually forgets to eat breakfast because the first few days of the week tend to confuse her. Sam gets straight to it: “I think maybe the reason Santana was always picking on me is because some part of her knew the truth: I’m totally into you.” Sam tells Ms. Pierce that he is upset that the glee club is ending is because he never got to sing a real love song with her. “Will you do me the honor of singing a ballad with me?” The music starts up and the two blondes begin a super sweet rendition of “Something Stupid.” (Side-Note: Just a few things I need to mention: 1.) Brittany’s voice sounds lovely and I love how much she has improved. 2.) The way that Sam looks at her melts my heart 3.) As sweet as this whole thing is, it would be an absolutely perfect duet if it were with Brittany and Santana.)
The song ends an Sam leans in for a kiss but just before their lips meet, Brittany stops him and says the greatest lines in Glee history: “No it’s not just Santana it’s like all lesbians of the nation. And I don’t know how thy found out about Santana and I dating, but once they did they started sending me like tweets and Facebook messages on Lord Tubbington’s wall. I think it means a lot to them to see two super hot, popular girls in love and I worry if they find out about you and I dating, they’ll turn on you and get really violent and hurt your beautiful face and mouth.” Sam tells his crush that he isn’t scared of the Brittana shippers (Um, you should be!) and leans in for one more kiss. Brittany politely declines again, thanks him for the breakfast and the song and then leaves the room. (Side-Note: That. Was. Amazing.)
Brittany later approaches Sam in the hallway and I literally groaned out loud because I realized that this whole thing is still not over. Brittany tells Sam that she pulled some strings and got them a reservation at the VIP booth at Breadstix and asks if he’d be interested in going. The Cheerio reveals, “The truth is that ever since Santana left you are the only person that makes me smile. You make me happy Sam and I don’t want to miss any more time not smiling at your hilariousness.” Brittany leans in for a kiss but this time it’s Sam who stops it and asks about the "lesbian blogger community". She replies, “They’re not going to like it, but the way I figure is that they know they’re my sisters and love is love.” The newly crowned Bram lean in and share their first kiss. (Side-Note: I’m just at a loss for words. On one hand I’m happy that my favorite character is happy, but on the other I’m just really mad that they keep pairing her up with so many characters. Brittany has fake-dated Kurt, actually dated Artie, went on a date with Finn, assumedly hooked up with Puck, and made out with Mr. Kidney the school Janitor. And now she’s with her ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend? There was something sweet, special and pure about her relationship with Santana. It just clicked. They had—by far—the most mature breakup of the season, so why don’t they get to have a sweet phone call? It seems unfair to the Brittana fandom to reward other couples with hopes of reconciliation, while Brittany moves on to yet another relationship.)
NEXT: The Best Performances Ever
Superb Solos: Over in the coolest apartment ever, Kurt is getting off of another phone call with Blaine (Squee!) and tells Rachel that the glee club lost. Rachel wonders, “You think I should call Finn?” (Side-Note: And millions of Finchel fans scream at their TVs “Hell yes! Do it now!”) The conversation then turns to the NYADA winter showcase and here’s the sitch: Apparently Carmen Tibideaux hand-picks ten students each year to perform in the winter showcase and these “cream of the cream” are invited with a golden ticket. It has been seven years since a freshman received an invite to the prestigious show—and guess who just got one? That’s right in the middle of class, our beloved Ms. Berry received a invitation to the prestigious performance and she is beyond thrilled.
Kurt later enters Carmen Tibideaux’s office inquiring about his second semester NYADA application. “I though exactly what I thought the first time you auditioned fro me last spring. Here’s a very talented young man who knows how to sell a number but who is devoid of complexity and depth. You gave me surface when I was looking for soul.” Despite Kurt’s protests, Tibideaux declares that she is busy preparing for the Winter Showcase and promptly kicks our devastated Porcelain out of her office saying, “I very rarely offer a second chance, but when I do, it’s on my terms.” (Side-Note: Oh! I sense an impromptu performance in our near future!)
A few days later in dance class, Rachel is one again getting harassed by the evil yet fabulous Cassie July. But it looks Rachel’s anger from Cassie seducing Brody has lead her to find a new confidence to stand up to her teacher. “It’s not my fault that you don’t see how good I’ve become.” Looks like we’ve got a dance-off on our hands people! The song? Chicago’s “All That Jazz.” The performance? Flawless. (Side-Note: Watching this performance has really reminded me of how much Rachel Berry has changed. Don’t get me wrong, I sill love her and this newfound confidence, but I feel like the gold-star enthusiast from season one is just a memory now. Sigh.) After the music fades away Cassie sneers, “Now do you see what I’m saying Schwimmer? You’re not good enough yet.” Rachel admits that she is not as good of a dancer as Cassie, but she is just as good—if not better—of a singer. “Thank you. You actually did teach me something which is that if I’m going to win this showcase, the only way I’m going to do it is with my voice.”
Fast forward to the Winter Showcase and Rachel—looking gorgeous in a lovely white sparky gown—is waiting outside the on the steps. Brody once again pops out of nowhere and give her a sweet pep talk. “Just remember what I said when we first met, you’re here because you’re the best of the best.” In a pleasant surprise, fans get a glimpse of the old Rachel. “I know I may not be a typical beauty, no one is ever going to pay me to walk the runway on fashion week or cure cancer or write the great American novel, but if you give me a stage to sing on, I know in my gut that there is no one that can beat me.” (Side-Note: Yes! There’s the girl with the reindeer sweater and knee-high socks that I know and love!) After a quick “Break a leg,” Brody turns to leave, but Rachel stops him and gives him a little kiss saying that she is going to start embracing a more spontaneous personality. (Side-Note: Then go skydiving or buy a puppy! Don’t rush into another relationship!)
Rachel takes the stage and completely blows everyone way with her version of Barbara Streisand’s “Being Good Isn't Good Enough.” In fact, She was so phenomenal that the room erupted into a loud standing ovation and demanded an encore. Rachel graced the room with a delicate yet powerful version of “Oh Holy Night” and while she’s singing we see cuts back to Lima where Finn is clearing out the last of the trophies from the choir room. Rachel’s double performance ends, and Carmen tells the room, “Rachel that was wonderful, no it was superb. And now we’re going to have a brief intermission and when we come back if he thinks he’s ready, we’re going to have a performance from Mr. Hummel.” (Side-Note: Gasp! YES!)
Kurt is in a full blown panic. Luckily his best fruit fly Rachel is there to calm him down and pump him up with her excitement and words of wisdom. Kurt takes the stage and addresses the crowd, “Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of NYADA Student.” (Side-Note: I’m such a sap. I’m getting all teary-eyed thinking about when he said the same thing to the football team: “Hi my name is Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.”) Kurt is sensational when singing “Being Alive” and is also rewarded with a standing ovation and a teary-eyed best friend.
The Final Five: Finn is alone in his room staring at the boxed up glee trophies when all of the sudden his phone rings—or should I say buzzed. He sees that it’s Rachel and then answers the call in the most heart-breaking way, “Rachel it’s Finn you butt-dialed me again.” Rachel clarifies that she was actually calling because she wanted to hear his voice and to tell him that she won the showcase tonight. But most importantly Rachel is calling to give her first love some much-needed advice: “Finn, listen to me, even if we never won our sectionals or if nationals had never happened, it still would have been worth it. I mean glee is about the love of the music. It’s about people like Puck and Artie not just singing together but actually being friends. It’s about Brittany and Mike dancing together when no one else is around. It’s even about the romances. You know they come and go but they’re just as important. Those kids respect you so much so don’t let them give up on their dreams okay? Don’t give up on yours.” (Side-Note: Goodness gracious that was adorably bittersweet.)
As predicted, the only person that shows up to the Friday night rehearsal is Marley, but she comes bearing good news: she found a place for them to practice. The next morning Finn sends out a mass email to all of the Glee club members. (Side-Note: I would be more inspired to listen to Finn’s pleas to get the New Directioners back together but the sounds of The Breakfast Club’s “Don’t You (Forget About Me)" makes me oddly angry. Couldn’t they have just chosen the classic Glee, “do do do do do dooo’s”? Did they really have to turn it into a random 80’s flashback?) That evening Finn, Marley—and an extremely devoted band—are sitting outside in the snowy courtyard waiting for the rest of the group to show. After Marley apologizes for being “naïve and insecure and self centered,” she and Finn begin to sing “Don’t Dream it’s Over.” Slowly but surely the New Directions reassemble and once again all is right the world. But the most exciting moment of the episode would have to be when Kurt received his NYADA letter: He’s in!
Most Heartwarming Moment: Rachel’s phone call to Finn.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Brittany move on to another relationship.
“Your lips are so soft and horizontal.”—Brittany to Sam
“My squad is looking a little pale these days, it wouldn’t hurt to add a dash of yellow #4 to my championship cheer batter.”—Sue to Tina
“What did you even join? You look ridiculous! It looks like a peacock died on your head!”—Finn to Artie
Vote it out!
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6751316/"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;What was the best song of the night?&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
What did you think of "Swan Song" Glee-bees? Hey Brittana Fans: how are you feeling about Brittany and Sam's new relationship? Finchel Fans: What are your thoughts on the phone call and the Brochel kiss? Sing me your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
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