Recap

'Survivor' Recap: Malcolm Takes a Tumble

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Dec 13, 2012 | 4:13am EST

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Ah, Survivor. Never a dull moment. This week in the Dangrayne tribe, you could tell everyone was a little anxious — happy to be in the Final Five, but nervous about what’s to come. And who wouldn’t be? With mere days until the final, it’s finally time to start thinking about who’s going to be in the Final Three. So naturally, this week’s Survivor was chock-full of drama… both real and made-up (thanks, of course, to the incomparable Abi-Maria).

This far into the competition, Malcolm inexplicably still seems confused about the point of Survivor – as the show opened, he pondered Lisa’s announcement that she’d rather take someone she thinks she can beat to the end. “It’s really an eye-opener that she’s thinking that strategically,” he said. Um… is it? What show do you think you’re on?

On the island today, everyone was getting a little edgy, with Abi-Maria continuing to earn her role as The Worst Person Ever up by drumming up drama between Lisa and the rest of the Dangrayne crew. Lisa seems to think she needs to “wait for the right time” to make her big move… but with the finals next week, exactly how much time does she think is left? Regardless, whether Abi’s right or wrong it seems like she’s on everyone’s Naughty List this week.

For the first Reward Challenge, we saw the most all-American prize yet: pizza and soda! Oh, and whale-watching, but really, that’s not that special when you’re living on a desert island. But the real prize was that the winner got to choose two fellow survivors to share in sugar-fueled victory – and a little bit of fiendish plotting, no doubt.

Michael Skupin won the feast — and with it some serious bargaining power. Naturally, Abi tried her hardest to get chosen, hugging an unwilling Skupin after he won. Is anyone surprised it didn’t work? Looks like Denise pretty much wants to tune her out to — the highlight of the episode was Denise comparing her afternoon with Abi to going on a date with the kid who pulled your hair and spit on you in elementary school. Basically, Abi is the Grinch.

Sugar-high Skupin might be the cutest thing in the world. I’ve babysat a lot of kids in my day but I’ve never seen someone handle their sugar that badly — or that adorably — in all my life. Even if he hadn’t been the clear-cut challenge victor, he should have won just for that moment. After the sugar wore off, the winners got down to business, cementing an alliance against Denise (sadface) to carry them into the Final Three.

Meanwhile back on Dangrayne, Denise was suffering from… a vampire attack?! She had fang marks on her neck and was complaining of neck pain. Yep. Just as I thought. Abi’s a vampire.

Later, in the immunity challenge, poor Malcolm was struggling… hard. He fell halfway through the challenge, sending him (and his dreads) all the way to the beginning. Poor guy — you could feel his frustration through the screen. And yet he still managed to complete his maze before anybody else, proving once and for all that he is a superhero. (And for those keeping score at home, our mythical creature count now stands at two.)

When Abi said “I’m being humble here” while trying to talk Skupin out of voting her off, I actually had to stop watching and rewind just to make sure I was hearing her right (I was). I do have to give her credit though: As annoying as she is — and my God, is she annoying — she has a way of using her weaknesses to her advantage. Everyone hates her so much they want to keep her in. But of course, the inherent risk in that is that she might laugh all the way to a win based solely on what a terrible person she is. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case this week — after calling Skupin a moron twice during Tribal Council, everyone came to their senses and booted her out. But still, is Jury Abi any better than Final Four Abi? With finals coming up fast, she might yet have a say in who wins — which, in the end, is just the way she wants it.

[Image Credit: CBS]

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