Two weeks ago on Nashville, everyone decided to be honest and bitchy. It was a nice change of pace from the passive aggressiveness we've grown to love/hate since we first met our Queen and her minions. This week, we got everything we hoped would come at episode two. But maybe it was a good thing we had to sit and wait because boy did it feel gooooooooooood. And the anticipated kiss wasn't the only thing that got me gasping. You'll see…
The Rayna and Deacon Story
Oh, these guys. They're just the s*ittiest, aren't they? Since Deacon joined Juliette's tour team, the awkwardness had been unbearable. Rayna wouldn't look over once in his direction during their flight to Chicago, and when they got off the plane they deliberately went obnoxiously separate ways.
But they couldn't hide from each other forever, or even for four minutes, because before they made it to their respective hotel rooms, the lovely ex-duo found themselves in an empty elevator, Grey's Anatomy style.
They said nothing to each other and Deacon walked out with his head high, pretending he didn't get turned on by the scent of her hairspray. They avoided each other during the actual performance, which seemed like it would probably be impossible in a real-life situation, and found themselves once again in an elevator. (Couldn't ABC think of another setting?) This time, Rayna tried to make conversation about the tour and how when he sang with Juliette it just ripped her heart out, but Dea didn't even turn his head to respond. Again, no words at all.
But, alas, third time in an elevator was the charm for these two fools and Deacon wasn't going to waste any second of it. He grabbed her bronzed, freckled cheeks the way he'd wanted to for years and pulled her mouth to his. The lovers kissed passionately for the entire ride up to his floor and it was sexy, just like we imagined it would be. He left her at the ding and stormed into the hall, but it didn't end there.
Rayna wanted more. She wanted so much more. She whipped out her phone and sent a good ole' text that said they should "talk." But when Deacon made his way up to her room, he saw Teddy standing at the entrance. And his heart sunk and we were back to square one. Sort of.
The Juliette and Deacon Story
Juliette and Deacon may have the truest friendship of all. Maybe it's because J's mom is a recovering alcoholic or the fact that they both feel they don't truly fit in anywhere, but whatever it is, it just seems honest.
They started playing their old music together again — the music that Juliette feels most connected to. She told him she was worried about losing her image — the one that includes confetti and smoke and bright lights — even though she wants to be free of it. So she asked him what would Rayna do?
Deacon told her that Rayna would stay true to herself and so Juliette decided she would, too. Before she performed her typical set, Juliette walked out on stage in blue jeans and a boring white top and sang the calmest song to ever exist with Deacon on the guitar. And though someone in the press hate-Tweeted about it, her fans were fans. And so, a new J was born.
The Teddy and Peggy Story
Oh dear Lord is Peggy a nut and a half. She's not even a salty, tasty nut like a pistachio; she's a totally bonkers nut. The nut you never want to go near because you're kind of scared of it. Like an acorn. Or a corn nut.
Anyway, Teddy ran into Peggy on the street — who was dressed as a 1950s stewardess on crack —and they started talking about their bad lives. Peggy told him that she's essentially divorced and gave an obvious wink if he didn't get the hint. They walked and talked and walked and talked and ended up in Teddy's car.
Before Peggy exited in the most dramatic fashion ever, Teddy grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a big, annoying kiss. And it didn't stop there. Yes, they did it. But I guess it's been a long time since we've seen anyone naked in bed, so I'm not complaining.
The Scarlett-Gunnar-Avery Story
Even though Scarlett is the most annoying person to get behind a camera, or a mic, or anywhere where anyone can hear her helpless baby voice, we really should talk about what happened. So, Scar is poor. She had no money to afford her home, the one she used to share with Avery. But don't worry, she worked it out.
She asked Gunnar to be her roommate! Because it wouldn't be odd that they'd be sharing a space after they kissed and realized they both have feelings for each other, right? But Gunnar was just as stupid as she was! He agreed to it! But what would Avery say? After he walked around with some camera filming about his past for some bizarre documentary of sorts that his cougar manager thought up, he decided to pay Scar a nice little visit. Maybe he was going to apologize for wearing a choker necklace all the time, who knows?
But before he could say anything, he saw Gunnar unpacking and realized what was going on. The two started going at it in the least-barbaric way possible and got a teeny bit bruised. It wasn't sexy. It wasn't dangerous. It was sad. I worry about Avery
The Rayna and Teddy Story
Teddy was worried about Rayna being on tour with Deacon and turns out, he very well needed to be! Not only did Ray and Dea suck face, but he full-on slept with crazy-lady Peggy. Everyone was in the wrong. So, Teddy took a trip out to Chitown to see his dear wife. But he didn't own up to what he had done or try to make things right. He told her he wanted a divorce. That's right. The "perfect" couple of Nashville will part ways for good, hopefully. And it is exactly what will save this series.
[Image Credit: ABC]
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