Celebrity Apprentice without Gary Busey is a bit like Donald Trump without his hair. On a whole, it might look better, but it's missing that signature touch that made it terrible. And, though it seems contradictory, Celebrity Apprentice needs to be terrible to be good.
Otherwise we get what we got Sunday night: A handful of semi-intelligent C-listers pulling together a semi-professional presentation for a semi-famous resort. There were, like, no mechanical dogs throughout the episode! I mean, Trump even had to pay the Earth 10,000 gold coins and two escorts to shift its tides and make it snow in New York City in order to give this episode some drama. (Let's give 'em 15 inches. It's gonna be HUGE.)
But there were a handful of ridiculous moments throughout the episode, which saw the contestants hosting a party in a Barclays Center suite for Foxwoods Resort Casino. This is Celebrity Apprentice after all!
Why Penn Jillette's famed other half couldn't use text messages to relay his difficulty getting into the snow-plagued city is beyond me — especially when Teller insisted on silently staying in character once he arrived to the set. (I suppose Teller can only be seen and not heard, or heard and not seen, which doesn't make him a good candidate for the Milford School.) Still, you have to hand it the magician for helping his showbiz partner — I'd rather swallow a box of needles than deal with connecting to New York via Philadelphia via San Francisco. (And for air travel to get him there on time? That's the real magic trick!)
"If I Do Get Punched in the Mouth, Is It Really a Big Deal?"
I can't be the only one who hoped Teller didn't show up to watch future task winner Lisa Rinna attempt a dangerous juggling trick with Penn. And I can't be the only one that hopes NBC spins off this season of Celebrity Apprentice into Working Like Magic: The Penn and Lisa Show. This really is the best duo to hit Celebrity Apprentice since Busey and the alien living inside his soul.
Trace Is One Notch Above Death
Marilu Henner was certainly right in her observation, yet Trace Adkins also happened to be one of the more entertaining things about this ho-hum episode of Celebrity Apprentice. And when you find yourself most entertained by a bored country star talking about breasts, you know it's time to switch to Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Inside the Actor's Studio, Working Like Magic: The Penn and Lisa Show — anything but Celebrity Apprentice.
Not Fit For a King of Krunk
With the exception of the guest appearance from pocket country star Hunter Hayes, Power's suite display — inspired by the word "king" — was only slightly less embarrassing than a zipline trip across the room in an office chair. Between taking the word "king" too literally — Marilu was just a few hours short from ordering her own herd of serfs to the suite — and the rollaway chess boards more fit for a fifth grader with grape juice-stained hands than a professional, Power officially has the monopoly on all things adolescent. (The team's A-list entertainment in next week's task: The Rock-afire Explosion.) Though Marilu certainly deserved to be fired, John Rich's insistence that the Project Manager should have known Lil Jon was nicknamed the King of Krunk is ridiculous as claiming Lil Jon should have known Elaine O'Connor-Nardo holds the employee of the month record at Sunshine Cab Company. Yeah, John Rich. Okay.