"Sal's Pizza" opens with Peralta's favorite pizza place burning down. But when he and Boyle go to investigate the scene, suspecting arson, they find themselves in a turf war with with fire department. Unsurprisingly, Peralta and Fire Marhsall Boone (Patton Oswalt) can't stand each other. Once Peralta finds out that Boone suspects that Sal burnt down his own pizza place in order to get the insurance money, Peralta is determined to prove it was arson so that he can not only clear his favorite pizza guy's name, but also stick it to his mortal enemy. Meanwhile, the precinct has been hit by a computer virus after being hacked by a teenager who goes by the username "Savant" (Allen Evangelista), so Holt assigns Terry and Gina to hire a new I.T. Specialist, and Santiago finds out that Diaz was offered a captain's position in a small town in New Jersey, which of course, drives her crazy.
As always, Brooklyn Nine-Nine's ensemble shone in this episode, with most of the cast splitting off into pairs, which, on this show, always tends to produce comedy in unexpected ways. However, there were a few characters who consistently nailed every scene they were given, and so we've chosen to highlight and celebrate the MVPs of the ninth episode, "Sal's Pizza."
- We're nine episodes in now. so we think it's time that we officially declare Boyle to be the most consistently hilarious character on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. There's something about the way Joe Lo Truglio plays him with the perfect combination of confidence and humiliation that makes every line land perfectly.
- Boyle's foodie nature came to the forefront yet again, with the reveal that he is making desk yogurt and writes a weekly pizza email blast, ranking all of the pizza places in Brooklyn. Criteria include texture, crust, cheese, and mouth feel.
- Peralta: "Mouth feel? What is that?" Boyle: "The inside of your cheeks are very sensitive. It's like the inside of your thighs, except with a tongue."
- Boyle has a bib specifically for eating pizza. He also keeps a bib at his desk for when he can't run home and pick up his pizza bib.
- Peralta: "Do you have to spit?" Boyle: "In a word, yes."
- When trying to distract the firemen, Boyle constructs and elaborate backstory that includes an adopted son, who cried during T-Ball and is now nicknamed "Cryin' Brian".
- Captain Holt reads Boyle's email blast because "it's the only one that measures mouth feel."
Sgt. Terry Jeffords and Gina
- It's always wonderful when Gina and Terry get together because it forces Terry Crews to play the straight man, which allows Chelsea Peretti even more room to get weird. Although Crews is brilliant when he's shouting about anything and everything, his reactions to Gina's nonsense are even better, particularly when she punctuates them with phrases like "Ter Bear."
- After Savant claims hacking into the precinct's system was "like taking candy from a baby," Terry responds with "Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!"
- Gina interrupts Terry's interviews with annoying questions ("Query. What's your favorite Jay Z song?"), scaring a candidate who was shaking with nerves, and flossing her teeth to take care of the "scooch of gingivitis" she has going on.
- Gina advises Holt to hire Savant as the new I.T. consultant by telling him to "Turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength, like Paris Hilton re: her sex tape."
- After she reveals that her interview antics were designed to test the way people would fit in at the Nine-Nine, she finishes by declaring "If I had a mic right now, I'd drop it."
- Terry threatens Savant using a magic 8-ball. "Hey, ball, if Savant were to do anything to harm this precinct, would I destroy him?" Then, after crushing the ball with his bare hands, reveals the result: "Answer uncertain. Ask again later."
- Patton Oswalt is always an exceptional guest star (just look at his filibustering speech on Parks and Recreation) and the confident weirdos that he tends to play fit in perfectly among all of the crazy people that work at the precinct. He does a brilliant job playing off of Andy Samberg in this episode, and their bickering and fist fighting gives "Sal's Pizza" some of its best moments. Hopefully he'll be back to antagonize Peralta in future episodes.
- "It's too bad we all can't be as awesome as 'New York's Finest.' Which, by the way, sounds like my mother describing her dishware... and she's dead, so let's tread lightly on the response."
- To Holt: "I'm a reasonable man, sir, so I'm just going to say this: fire Peralta immediately!"
- Boone bursts into tears when Peralta explains that Sal's was so important to him because he used to get pizza there with his dad after Little League games before he left the family.
- "First, let's hug like men!" The only thing funnier than Boone sobbing into Jake's shoulder was Holt's exasperation at being dragged into the hug, which he expressed through a perfectly timed "There, there. There, there... there."
- Boone's therapist will be very proud of him for sharing with Peralta.