Recap

'Shark Tank' Recap: Udderly Fascinating

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Feb 01, 2014 | 1:00pm EST

Shark TankABC Television Network

Tonight's episode had guest Shark Steve Tisch sitting in Robert Herjavec's seat. Tisch is co-owner of the New York Giants, whose stadium happens to be the host site for the Super Bowl coming up on Sunday. Could his appearance have been timed to this? Nahhhhh. Much as I like Herjavec, it's always nice to see some fresh blood among the Sharks.

First

The first presentation started off really weirdly with Chris Pouy, one of the entrepreneurs, wearing a cow outfit. The other one, Tiffany Panhilason, wore an elegant orange dress, so there was some kind of visual disparity at first. Just look at the picture above. Yeah. Points for some originality, but the Sharks were rolling their eyes pretty early on before Pouhy switched into a dress jacket and shirt. They were pitching Cow Wow Cereal Milk. Yes. they actually saved the remnants of the milk at the bottom of cereal bowl. Besides the sugar amount and the fact that the market was already so saturated (pun intended), the Sharks weren't wowed at the $250,000 and 10% equity they were asking for. For me, their packaging reminded me too much of those muscle drinks you see at gyms. No Shark bit and they were reduced to making cow puns in the hall afterwards. "We'll keep on moo-ving." Right. That made me want to reach for an alcoholic beverage. I'm udderly serious. No! Don't click away! I won't do that again.

Second

This was another two-person pitch. They were Joan Pacetti and Julia Schmid, two sisters from Normal, Illinois. There should be a horror movie set in a town like that ... well, because weird things happening in a place called Normal. C'mon. That should write itself. I want royalties if it does happen. They were pitching Cookie Dough Cafe, which was what it sounds like: raw cookie dough, but safe to eat since it has no eggs in it. Mark Cuban, Daymond John and Kevin O'Leary were offput by the low number of sales, with O'Leary saying quite a few unkind things. However, Lori Greiner and Tisch saw the potential, and after a bit of haggling and the sisters being lucky that the two Sharks weren't mad that they didn't immediately jump at the offer, they paired up for a deal for $100,000 for 30%.

Update

The update was for Pro-NRG, which was protein infused water. John had invested in it. They had over $1.5 million in sales since then and Brandon Jacobs, the recently-retired running back for the Giants, was still the spokesman

Third

The third person was Terry Jones, the CEO of Nexersys. The product was a workout machine where people punched various pads while looking at at a video simulation of a boxer. The thing that sank this pitch very quickly was the fact that he had a lot of investors and a lot of debt, which was a bad combination. The Sharks kept asking tougher and tougher questions, with Jones looking more and more like a hapless lightweight boxer being ferociously hit by a young Mike Tyson, an example that John alluded to during the presentation. He was soon KO'd with no deal and the Sharks thinking that he was going to wind up being an employee of his own company with the debt load. The pitch did last longer than some of Tyson's early fights, though.

Fourth

The fourth pitch was for Cycloramic and it was by far the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. What it was was an app that harnessed the vibrate function on a smartphone and allowed it to turn on its own on a flat surface and take a panoramic picture. It was one of those things that had to be seen to understand how amazing that was. The entrepreneur, Bruno Francois was swarmed by Sharks in one of the few good examples of a feeding frenzy. Eventually Greiner and Cuban paired together - with Greiner even switching partners in mid-stream. She had originally paired with Tisch and then jumped on Cuban's offering for $500,000 and 15% equity, which Francois accepted, but not before Greiner jumped up in the middle of other Sharks trying to get other offers in and nearly bellowing, "STOP!" to get them to quit trying to ruin her deal, which she had nearly closed. Tisch was befuddled at her change of heart with the partnership but there's the whole saying about women and changing their minds. Cuban and Greiner were the best two to do it: they know technology and they know how to get things out fast. I was happy to see Francois choose them.

Best Lines

"It's a hobby that should be taken behind the barn and shot." -- O'Leary did NOT like the Cookie Dough Cafe at all.

"If you do this deal, I'm going to add egg to yours." -- O'Leary did NOT want John to do a deal with the Cookie Dough Cafe people.

"Kevin hears the word 'dough' and he gets confused." -- Cuban riffing on O'Leary's love of money.

"I'm going to give you some rolling paper so you can smoke this stuff." -- O'Leary to the Cookie Dough Cafe women after they hemmed and hawed on Greiner and Tisch's initial offer.

"She'd kick my ass." -- Cuban remarking on the model who was hitting the Nexersys pads.

"I just wanted to knock his ass out." -- Cuban on using the Nexersys system to punch an avatar of O'Leary, whom the Mavericks owner is fond of taking shots at.

"His mouthpiece is in the third row, Lori." -- John alluding to how badly Jones was going to get hit when his debt came due.

"Welcome to the Shark Tank rook!" -- Cuban after Greiner switched partners to join him and abandoning a partnership with Tisch in the last segment .Of course, billionaires can needle each other like that.

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