S2:E7 Last night’s episode of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami was all about how horrible a person Kourtney’s boyfriend, Scott, is. You see, Scott’s what we would call a “businessman.” Most of the businessmen we know are actual men of business, and keep little glass bowls of jellybeans on their desks so the pretty interns will come talk to them and they quietly picture which intern could be their successors. But Scott, Scott’s not a businessman’s businessman. He dresses like one sometimes, so it’s occasionally hard to tell if he is, actually, a commanding and powerful man. But most of the time, it’s pretty easy to hear the bell ding on the “horrendous tool” o'meter.
The episode started with Kourtney and Kim bonding over Mason, who they keep saying is cute but I’m just not seeing it. While they were shopping for “furniture for DASH,” Scott called Kourtney and asked if she could babysit the baby while he attended an important meeting for one of his fortuitous businesses. But Kourtney also had a business meeting – with some bikini people, and she obviously couldn’t bring Mason because “baby” and “bikini” are complete enemies on the playground. So Kim offered to babysit, which was nice and sisterly and thoughtful and I wish I had a sister because I could make her wait in my apartment for my new air conditioner to arrive.
Later that night, Scott was doing something important to save the world’s nightlife, and he invited his friends from New York to come and mooch off the success that someone stupid allowed him to have. While they were hanging out and drinking on the roof, Scott went downstairs into the suite and took Kim’s two bottles of wine that were supposedly so nice they must have been made on Pluto before it was declared a non-planet. He and his friends drank them, so when Kim and Kourtney came home from a dinner with Jonathan, their friend from New York, there wasn’t any wine to offer him – and he is decidedly NOT a beer drinker. Kim was embarrassed and asked Kourtney to ask Scott if he drank them. Kourtney did, and Scott lied and said he didn’t consume anything and was going au-natural that night. Scott didn’t arrive home until 6 A.M., which is later than every college student on the planet’s latest night, because we all know frat boys usually end up in the bushes around 3 A.M. It also didn’t help that Scott reeked of booze and cigarettes.
The next morning at DASH, the girls told Kim they kept seeing Scott at nightclubs that aren’t his own. It appeared he would work at his club and leave at 3 A.M., but then he would go out to other nightclubs to celebrate the success of his own…which is not good considering he’s supposed to have played an important part in creating the “best baby ever.” Kim went home and relayed her findings to Kourtney, who was incredibly oblivious and seemed to really not care. She went up to the roof, and found Kim’s two bottles of wine…completely empty! Then she called Scott and asked him why he lied to her when she asked him where they were, and he said something stupid that I don’t remember because I was trying to figure out when the last time was that I rode a carousel. The episode ended with Kourtney telling Scott he needed help with his drinking.
When does Khloé come back? If Scott had drank her two bottles of wine, she’d slam his junk in the refrigerator. And am I crazy for wishing these episodes had more of that kind of thing? I’m sorry, but I don’t have any siblings, so I can only listen to their chatter for so long without wishing it was matched with some sort of violence.