S1:E5 Last week’s Real Housewives of DC wasn’t new, but last night’s episode was! It opened when everyone was sitting down for a dinner of wine and insincerity at the Salahis’ wine vineyard, and Tareq told Mary that his $90,000 car was stolen (in addition to his polo gear that was inside it) and that her daughter’s name came up during an FBI investigation of the matter. Mary was paralyzed with shock, and Stacie and her husband tried to point out how insane it was that he riled up the FBI over his missing car and his polo gear, and that his loss was not as meaningful as his serious accusations against Mary’s daughter. Tareq, THE FBI? YOU ARE WEARING A COSBY SWEATER THAT ISN’T EVEN MULTICOLORED.
When Mary got home, she confronted her daughter, Lolly, about the whatever she posted on Facebook about whatever whoever did in Tareq’s car, and she denied doing anything. Mary did find a teeny tiny comment that her daughter posted to a photo of someone who was seen in the car, and her husband researched if there was any way their daughter could be charged with a crime. He talked to the FBI, who he found to be far more interested in cherry flavored lolly pops than Mary’s Lolly, and it looked like the Salahis had lied. What a misrepresentation of a Cosby device of body warmth.
Cat met with a Republican lobbyist named Edwina, for no reason other than to ask her to pay for her $23,000 worth of medical bills. Who is she trying to keep alive here, Marvin the Martian?
Lynda and her tall glass of chocolate milk, Ebong, had dinner with Stacie and her husband. The topic of Stacie’s search for her birth father came up, and that her mother was white and that he was black. Lynda then took it upon herself to explain why Stacie’s mother put her up for adoption, and it was because society made her feel like she couldn’t raise a biracial child. Lynda continued, and explained how she used to be the victim of reverse racism, which sounds like what one would call the decision to role down the sides of their Converse sneakers so they could go skateboarding. Also, Lynda is crazy white, and she’s at a table with three African Americans, and she’s going to go off on being mistreated because she’s white? This episode is thick with Cosby sauce! (Skip to around minute 5 of the clip below to watch Lynda’s exposé on the plight of the white man.)
When Cat had dinner with Edwina she was invited to a Republican party, which she said she’d attend. Of course she decided to dress completely inappropriately, in hopes that the view of the liver spots on her cleavage (as viewable in her pink Dancing with the Stars-designed wedding dress) would make them see the glory of our very wise (and even more toothy) President. (Skip to 7:30 in the clip below.)
Cat ended up attending the party dressed as Sarah Palin, and Michaele Salahi went as Barbie’s sister Skipper’s friend who’d really rather be friends with Barbie. Unfortunately for Edwina, she dressed up as the chick in the stretcher who got hauled off in an ambulance and was unable to attend her own party, so Cat’s appearance as S. Pail meant nothing…just like her reasoning for leaving Britain for DC.