Recap

'Weeds' Season Finale Recap: Do Her/ Don't Do Her

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Sep 26, 2011 | 10:01pm EDT

S7E13: I’ll give Weeds a little credit. The series sure did leave us on a serious cliffhanger. The problem is that while those last few seconds were shocking and sure to get any avid television fan a strong bout curiosity, all the material that came before it is such a cartoonish, jumbled mess that it’s hard to feel all that connected to the mystery.

“Cowards have a funny way of being awarded custody.” –Nancy

With Silas’ betrayal last week, we, the lucky viewers, get a giant dose of one of the most purposefully obnoxious characters to ever set foot on the series: Nancy’s sister Jill. Within minutes of being in New York, she’s taken tons of evidence against her sister in order to force her to sign the custody papers for Stevie.

Of course, this is all made worse when Heylia shows up waving a gun in Nancy’s face and demanding her weed back, lest Nance wants to lose her pretty little head. This takes Jill and Nancy on a little adventure to a mythical place called Queens, where Demetri is supposed to have the weed stash he had his boys steal. Along the way, they endure sisterly squabbles, but Jill seems to be enjoying the horrible nature of their adventure – even when the men sitting in Demetri’s apartment joke mildly about gang-raping them. That’s comedy, right?

It turns out Demetri is gone and three ridiculous characters (yes, writers, the ridiculous bit is directed at you) were left behind to clean up his mess and turn his apartment into stoner Animal House. They recognize Nancy from a sex tape Demetri made and agree to give her the drugs if she shows them her U-turn tattoo on her ass. Cut to Nancy and Jill riding the subway with a giant Drakar Noir-soaked gorilla wearing an army t-shirt. Okay, that was kind of funny.

It’s not long before the sisters get into a screaming match over Stevie – and this uncouth behavior may be the most New York occurrence this whole season – but Jill had one card that Nancy can’t combat. Well, besides the whole evidence of her drug-dealership and all. Jill is the only mother Stevie knows, she’s raised him for four years and she loves him. Well, damnit.

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“My mother will not let me be my own person.” –Silas

“Why do you need her permission?” –Andy

Silas realizes he screwed up (which he also did last week) and spends Charles’ funeral stressing about how he can fix it. Not even the interpretive dancers or the graffiti-covered coffin or the priest dressed like Janet Reno can distract him. Andy tries to listen to Silas’ ideas about fixing his mistake, but he notices Maxine is one of the dancers and she’s gained weight. It turns out she’s pregnant and she’s starting an unconventional family, but this only makes him miss Charles. He realizes that Charles was great because he only wanted to see those he loved achieve happiness. But then he realizes his family is too screwed up for that. Not that this is new news to anyone.

But what about Silas? First Nancy returns Heylia’s weed and Heylia refuses to continue doing with business with Silas and says he needs to leave the city because he’s unhappy there. This gets Nancy thinking and when she returns home, Silas apologizes to her for screwing everything up. They share a heartfelt embrace and she asks him if he’s unhappy in the city, he doesn’t answer but we know he means yes.

While the mushy stuff is going on in the kitchen, Andy strikes up a deal with Jill – right after they have sex again – the nature of which we must endure a creepy white light with a flash-forward to the future to understand.

“You’re not sorry, that’s the problem.” –Detective

Last but not least, we have the folks whose problems seem to disappear by the end of the episode without much explanation. Doug is still screwing his SEC secretary and she’s so smitten that when Foster Wallace’s Bali trip makes the Wall Street Journal question the firm’s legitimacy, she brings in her boss to talk to the reporter and clear the company’s name. This earns Doug a promotion to CFO, but when he turns down her offer for dinner and a craft fair in order to go to a strip club she throws one itty bitty detail in his face: when the company folds – and it will fold – it will either be Doug or his buddy who takes the fall, and she’ll make that call. I would say he really screwed the pooch, but he seems to have come out without any scratches by the end of the episode. Then again, we don’t really know, because they don’t really explain that.

Finally, a very hungover Detective Wallette confronts Shane, tells him there’s something wrong with his brain – Shane doesn’t seem to think he has to follow the laws the rest of us do. It’s about time someone called that kid out. Of course, Wallette’s subsequent threat to lock up Nancy for her weed operation is quelled when Shane offers a mysterious “something.” When we finally get that flash forward to a happy Botwin clan in Connecticut eating meals that look like they’re prepared by Ina Garten, we don’t know what the “something” is, but Shane is attending the police academy and hiding it from his family. Is he going to take down Nancy? Why is he doing this? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

As the family sits down to eat, we see that Stevie still calls Jill mama, her husband is nowhere and the home was purchased with Doug’s help. They’re all going to live on this “compound” happily together, that is until Nancy has a sniper laser on her forehead. They think it’s just one of Jill’s daughters playing with a toy, but we pan back out into the bushes where we see a sniper. The last image we see is Nancy through the scope, cut to black and a gunshot. Then of course we’re forced to ask, what the hell, Weeds? They basically wrote themselves into a corner, abolished most of the issues with the plot via a time jump and then started a whole new mystery with this gunshot.

Granted, we’re still not sure if this is the last we’ll see of Weeds. This could be one of those cliffhanger series-enders, or, if the series continues, that single gunshot opens a few possibilities for an eighth season. If this is the end, I can’t say it really fits the bill. Weeds has always been a comedy about crime, sure it gets violent, but it’s too madcap to end on note that serious. There’s one reason to hope for a next season – and then there’s the fact that none of the characters really got closure. Until next time (or never), Weeds fans.

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