Movie Review

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (R)

Kit Bowen

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Hollywood.com Says
If you like aggressively awful crap like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, then more power to you.

Story
Deuce Bigalow (Rob Schneider), the fish-lovin' former gigolo with a face only a mother could love and a heart of gold, is back--and living it up in Amsterdam. But it isn't all fun and games. Oh, no. Deuce discovers that his former pimp, T.J. (Eddie Griffin), has been framed for a string of man-whore murders plaguing the city. By working his particular mojo on a cast of grotesque European women--while butting heads with the prestigious European Union of Prosti-dudes (The Man-Whore Society)--it's up to Deuce to ferret out the real killer. Of course, along the way he meets a lovely woman--wait. Do I have to go with this? It's really painful, describing this utterly tasteless and humorless movie.

Acting
Apparently, it took several years to coax Rob Schneider into playing Deuce again. He must have known playing someone as insanely stupid as a goofy-looking male gigolo is a mistake you should only make once. Incredulously, the first Deuce Bigalow made $100 million worldwide, but Schneider should have just kept holding out. But alas, no. The actor succumbed to the power of persuasion and is now preparing to embarrass himself ALL over again. I have no sympathy. Nor do I have any sympathy for the rest of the cast who decided to include themselves in this mess. The endless stream of freakishly abnormal women notwithstanding, funnyman Griffin--reprising his role as the "Man-dam," who steadfastly claims he is not gay--must have needed the money. Veteran character actor Jeroen Krabbe (Ocean's Twelve), as the Amsterdam police chief hot on T.J.'s trail, was convinced to take the part by his teenage son. The thing is, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is the kind of comedy that would appeal to teenage boys. Bathroom humor to the nth degree. But because of the R rating, they won't even be able to see it unless they drag an adult, kicking and screaming, with them. Where's the logic in that?

Direction
OK, so maybe the premise in the first Deuce Bigalow--a loser fish guy inadvertently becoming a gigolo--lends itself to some amusing situations. And maybe, in the realm of insane possibilities, the second Deuce's take on an elite international union of male prostitutes--who specialize in sexual techniques as the "Portuguese breakfast" or a "Turkish sno-cone"--could be considered humorous. But I'm REALLY stretching it here. Director Mike Bigelow (no relation--at least, I hope so!) makes his feature film debut with Deuce 2 and would be best advised to wipe it immediately off his resume and start again. In truth, these films seem to be an excuse for old pals Schneider and executive producer Adam Sandler to get together and come up with the most vulgar psychotic lunacy they can think of. And aren't we lucky they have the clout and money to get them made?

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Everyone's a Critic

"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is so bad, it's almost funny. But not in a good way."
Philip Wuntch, Dallas Morning News

"European Gigolo certainly is not for everyone--and definitely not for children or kids in their early teens--and the humor is sometimes shamelessly stupid. But Deuce deux does have its likable, if racy, moments."
Claudia Puig, USA Today

"Schneider, one of the luckier of all Saturday Night Live alums who now make millions in the movies, may well be a fine fellow and excellent company on the set, but on screen he's blank affability incarnate. "
Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune

"Rude, crude and, uh, cosmopolitan, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo waves the flag for R-rated politically incorrect studio comedy but doesn't top the laugh ratio of the first Deuce misadventure."
Robert Koehler, Variety

"With this latest exercise in cynicism, however, it's not Deuce's satisfied clientele, but the audience, that gets the shaft. "
Michael Sullivan, Washington Post