MONDAY, AUGUST 11
The Mole (Season Finale) -- 10/9c on ABC
From the “Probably should’ve stayed cancelled” files comes the fifth-season finale of this dinosaur reality show. Watch for the simple fact that this could, if we're lucky and ABC heeds the low ratings, possibly be the last episode ever.
American Mall -- 9/8c on MTV
MTV unleashes its inner High School Musical--and just in the nick of time, because tweenagers simply have to be close to deeming musicals passé by now. Uncoincidentally and to its credit, American Mall--about a bunch of music-minded mallrats, played by mostly no-names--is the brainchild of HSM’s executive producers, Bill Borden and Barry Rosenbush. [PAGEBREAK]TUESDAY, AUGUST 12
Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Season Finale) -- 10/9c on Oxygen (Re-Airs at 11/10c)
In the season-three finale of Oxygen’s hit reality show, Tori and Dean return home with their new baby Stella, who will no doubt be thrilled someday to learn that millions of viewers were invited to help welcome her into this world. Hey, who needs to sell baby photos to a magazine when you can sell baby footage to a reality show?!
Flipping Out -- 9/8c on Bravo
The so-called reunion show is already a stale concept, but at least Flipping Out deserves one. [PAGEBREAK]WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13
Project Runway -- 9/8c on Bravo (Re-Airs at 11/10c)
Brooke Shields is tonight’s guest judge, which on paper marks arguably the best Project Runway has ever had. The challenge: The remaining contestants must create outfits for working women...and Shields must subtly slip in a mention of her show Lipstick Jungle, whose second season premieres September 24 at 10/9c (you're welcome, NBC!).
Animal House: The Inside Story -- 9/8c on Biography Channel
Most oft-forgotten Animal House tidbit: Kevin Bacon was in it! Don’t worry, this retrospective celebrating the 30th anniversary of the beloved frat-com promises to be more interesting than that, even if only slightly. [PAGEBREAK]THURSDAY, AUGUST 14
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Season Finale) -- 10/9c on Bravo (Re-Airs at 11/10c)
Season four of one of TV’s only great reality shows wraps up tonight, but at least D-List helped get us through some dark times (read: summer TV) and see the light at the end of the tunnel (read: fall TV). This season we’ve watched Kathy travel the world to spread her celeb-bashing cheer, but she keeps tonight’s finale in the U.S., visiting Washington, D.C.’s Walter Reed Army Medical to perform in front of recuperating soldiers... Wait a second--philanthropy? Has Kathy gone A-list?! [PAGEBREAK]FRIDAY, AUGUST 15
Gone Country (Season Premiere) -- 8/7c on CMT
John Rich wastes no time in moving from one country-themed reality show to another, following last week’s season finale of NBC’s Nashville Star. Here is the premise for the many, many who haven’t yet seen Gone Country and/or didn't even know that the Country Music Television channel existed: Several has-beens/never-weres (i.e., Sean Young, Lorenzo Lamas, Jermaine Jackson, et al.) vie for the chance to become a country-music singer and have their first single produced by Rich. Of course, what they're really vying for is the chance to become quasi-relevant again, but that goes without saying. [PAGEBREAK]SATURDAY, AUGUST 16
No Reservations (TV Debut) -- 8/7c on HBO
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart might've had less chemistry than foie gras and PETA in this culinary chick flick from ’07, but No Reservations will at least keep you awake longer than anything on the Food Network. [PAGEBREAK]SUNDAY, AUGUST 17
MANDATORY VIEWING OF THE WEEK
Roast of Bob Saget -- 10/9c on Comedy Central (Re-Airs at 11:30/10:30c)
It’s deplorable to admit, but Comedy Central’s roasts have rarely been anything short of hilarious, no matter the roastee. Bob Saget, however, has been unwittingly begging for a roast ever since his Full House years. And speaking of his squeaky-clean, uber-corny phase, Saget’s Full House costar John Stamos (aka Uncle Jessie) serves as the Roast Master. Roasters include Susie Essman (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Tracy Morgan, Artie Lange (who was reportedly admitted to rehab just days after the taping; shocker), and veteran Jeffrey Ross, who drew the ire of Saget by taking shots at his former TV daughters, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (who will not be appearing), when the roast was taped.