Julianne Moore plays Audrey Woods an undefeated divorce attorney whose neurotic need for junk food and impossibly hip mom (Frances Fisher) might be the reasons for why she's been single all her 35 years (in Hollywood logic anyway). While marching into a particularly messy divorce case she meets Daniel Rafferty (Pierce Brosnan) a slovenly but damn sexy divorce attorney who also has never lost a case in spite of his seemingly precarious methods. He's immediately smitten but she's uptight or in denial or a combination of the two even after they get drunk a half an hour into the film and fall into bed. Oops. They find themselves at battle when Audrey courts a kooky but famous dress designer getting a divorce (Parker Posey) who opts to hire Daniel as her laywer leading an infuriated Audrey to take on the philandering rock star husband as her client. While Audrey and Daniel compete they scope out the estranged couple's biggest asset--a glorious castle in Ireland. In Lucky Charm land where everything is apparently a party the attorneys loosen up at a local festival dancing jigs and getting drunk again. This time they not only sleep with each other but get married! Disaster! What to do?
Moore has so far been the queen of torment specializing in women who've suffered from maladies ranging from cocaine addiction (Boogie Nights) severe environmental allergies (Safe) and repressed lesbianism (The Hours). Maybe she wanted to take a vacation from the dark side by tackling a character who's biggest problem is her Cheetos consumption but more likely she thought playing (gasp!) funny would further prove her acting mettle. But getting laughs is a lot tougher than it looks if you're good and really really tough looking if you're not. Awkwardly stumbling through this fifth-rate screwball comedy Moore is positively tragic thudding out one-liners with the grace of a wounded deer. The breezy Brosnan fares better only because his ingratiating lilt and calm demeanor makes him at least charming though when in one "funny" scene he picks a fleck of food off her face puts in his mouth and utters the name of a Hostess product ("Snowball...")--even he can't make that sexy.
Director Peter Howitt attempts to capture the sparkle and magic of Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy specifically their legal screwball Adam's Rib but considering this is the same director who un-funnied Rowan Atkinson in the abysmal Johnny English why anyone would trust him with such a feat is baffling. Maybe it was his other hilarious film Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow that convinced 'em. Right. Working with the ham-fisted screenplay by Aline Brosh McKenna and Robert Harling (if we are to assume this is the actual first draft) Howitt directs with little distinction other than managing to make the typically side-splitting Parker Posey barely half hearted. Though there are a few moments that garner a mini giggle Laws of Attraction is lazy and at 90 minutes lumbering. Howitt's idea of humor is placing a Hostess pastry in front of the luminous Moore and making James Bond work in a sloppy office (Get it? Yeah…). In the famous words of a five-year-old it's so funny we forgot to laugh.
Top Story: Sean Connery Tops Worst Film Accent Poll
According to a poll by UK movie magazine Empire, Oscar winner Sean Connery has been named the actor with the worst film accent of all time. Edinburgh-born Connery may have won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and a Golden Globe in 1988 for his performance as Irish cop Jim Malone in the 1987 film The Untouchables, but movie experts agreed his accent was the pits. "Whether he's a Russian sub captain (The Hunt for Red October) or even an English king (First Knight and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves), always that baritone Highland burr remains," one critic said in the magazine's August edition. Others who made the list include Dick Van Dyke for his attempt at an East London cockney accent in Mary Poppins; Brad Pitt for his Austrian-accented mountaineer in Seven Years in Tibet; Heather Graham for her British-accented prostitute in From Hell; Julia Roberts for her attempts at a Brit accent in Mary Reilly and Meryl Streep for her try at Danish accent in Out of Africa.
Company Sues Greek Wedding Team
MPH Entertainment, the company that first optioned Nia Vardalos' screenplay for My Big Fat Greek Wedding in 1997, filed a lawsuit Tuesday in Los Angeles against the writer/actress and the film's producers, claiming they are owed 3 percent of the actual profits from the picture. Jim Milio, Melissa Jo Peltier and Mark Hufnail say they have received nothing to date save for an accounting statement from producers HBO and Gold Circle Films, who are being sued along with Tom Hanks' Playtone Prods, The Hollywood Reporter reports. The statement claimed the $5 million film lost $20.6 million as of March 31 despite selling more than $600 million worth of tickets worldwide.
TCM To Air Hepburn Marathon
Turner Classic Movies will honor the late Katharine Hepburn on Thursday with a 24-hour film tribute, hitting many of the high points from 1933 to 1968. The films slated to air include Mary of Scotland (1936), Holiday (1938), Woman of the Year (1942), Adam's Rib (1949), Pat and Mike (1952), The Lion in Winter (1968), Katharine Hepburn: All About Me, a documentary by David Heeley (1993), Bringing Up Baby (1938), The Philadelphia Story (1940), Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967), Little Women (1933) and Undercurrent (1946).
Madonna Gets Her Privacy
Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie, who wrote to Prime Minister Tony Blair expressing concern that the planned walkway just 100 yards from their country mansion in Wiltshire, southern England, would encourage curious sightseers and paparazzi, have won their battle. The Countryside Agency said the singer was among hundreds of residents who filled out a comment sheet about proposed changes under a redrawing of maps for the area. Madonna previously complained about low-flying aircraft above her $14.5 million Ashcombe House and was ordered to dismantle 12-foot-high security gates after failing to apply for planning permission.
Brandy and Hubby Split
Former teen pop princess Brandy has confirmed reports that she and Robert Smith, her husband and father of her 1-year-old daughter, have split, the AP reports. A statement released Tuesday by Atlantic Records said: "Brandy and her husband are splitting. They will remain friends and raise their daughter jointly." Brandy, 24, announced in February 2002 that she had been secretly married to Smith, a music producer, for several months. In June, she gave birth to her first child, with MTV documenting the preparations for the birth with the reality series Brandy--Special Delivery.
P. Diddy Sued for Racketeering
Kirk Burrowes, the former president and general manager of Sean "P.Diddy" Combs' Bad Boy Entertainment, has filed a $25 million suit Monday in Manhattan federal court against the rap mogul, Reuters reports. Burrowes claims that in 1996, Combs threatened him with a baseball bat and forced him to surrender his 25 percent interest in the company, which he had formed with the rapper in 1992. Borrowes, who earned $125,000 a year as president of Bad Boy, was fired in 1997. The suit also alleges Combs interfered with a contract Burrowes had to manage Mary J. Blige, causing the singer to end the contract. Combs called the allegations "pure fantasy."
Brits Need New Celeb Couple
What will the British do now that celebrity couple David Beckham and his wife Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham are moving to Spain? According to Reuters, Britain's celebrity watchers are searching their gossip magazines for a new couple to take over as the nation's unofficial king and queen. Contenders include Chris Martin, lead singer of pop giants Coldplay, and girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow; or Australian pop diva Kylie Minogue and her actor boyfriend Olivier Martinez. But celebrity watchers say neither couples have the charisma nor the desire for fame that has driven the Beckhams to the top of the showbiz heap.
For all the controversy and hype surrounding "Eyes Wide Shut," the film will most likely be remembered as director Stanley Kubrick's last opus -- finished just days before he died in his sleep March 7.
The 70-year-old eccentric filmmaker's career was founded on spectacle, from the shocking "A Clockwork Orange" to the profound "2001: A Space Odyssey." It somehow seemed fitting that "Eyes Wide Shut," despite the star talent of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, would make its mark by bearing the director's ghost.
The year that was marked the passing of other legends, as well -- from George C. Scott (Kubrick's "Dr. Strangelove" star) to singer Mel Tormé to movie critic Gene Siskel.
Some, like Sylvia Sidney and DeForest Kelley, died after long, rich careers; others, such as Dana Plato and David Strickland, succumbed in relative youth to their inner demons.
From marquee names to behind the sceners, Hollywood will mourn:
Kirk Alyn, 88, died March 14. In 1948, the first actor to play Superman on the big screen.
Hoyt Axton, 61, died Oct. 26, heart attack. Singer-actor who wrote hits such as Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World"; appeared in "Gremlins" and "The Black Stallion."
Ian Bannen, 71, died Nov. 3, car accident. Theater veteran who starred in "Waking Ned Devine," appeared in "Braveheart" and was nominated for an Oscar in 1965 for "Flight of the Phoenix."
Mary Kay Bergman, 38, died Nov. 11, suicide. Actress who voiced numerous "South Park" characters in the TV series and film.
Dirk Bogarde, 78, died May 8, heart attack. British veteran of more than 70 films, including "Death in Venice."
Rory Calhoun, 76, died April 28, emphysema and diabetes. Western film actor in the 1940s and '50s and star of CBS' "The Texan" series.
Allan Carr, 62, died June 29, cancer. Producer of the hit 1978 musical "Grease" and Tony Award winner for "La Cage aux Folles" on Broadway.
Iron Eyes Cody, about 90, died Jan 4, natural causes. American American actor best known as the "Crying Indian" in 1970s anti-litter public-service announcements.
Ellen Corby, 87, died April 14. Oscar nominee for the 1948 film "I Remember Mama"; Emmy winner for her grandmother role on TV's "The Waltons."
Harry Crane, 85, died Sept. 14, cancer. Co-created the TV sitcom "The Honeymooners''; wrote for entertainers such as the Marx Brothers, Red Skelton and Bing Crosby.
Charles Crichton, 89, died Sept. 14. Acclaimed British director of film comedies, including "The Lavender Hill Mob" and "A Fish Called Wanda."
Frank De Vol, 88, died Oct. 27, congestive heart failure. Film composer who received Oscar nominations for "Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte," "Pillow Talk" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.'' Wrote the theme music for TV's "The Brady Bunch."
Edward Dmytryk, 90, died July 1, heart and kidney failure. Directed films such as "The Caine Mutiny"; one of the blacklisted Hollywood Ten during the 1940s Red Scare.
Allen Funt, 84, died Sept. 5, complications from stroke. Hosted and created prankster TV show "Candid Camera."
Betty Lou Gerson, 84, died Jan. 12, stroke. Provided the voice for villainess Cruella De Vil in Disney's 1961 animated "One Hundred and One Dalmatians."
Ernest Gold, 77, died March 17, complications from stroke. Composer for films such as "It's a Man, Mad, Mad, Mad World"; won an Academy Award for "Exodus."
Sandra Gould, 73, died July 20, stroke. Played nosy neighbor Gladys Kravitz on TV's "Bewitched."
Huntz Hall, 78, died Jan. 30, heart failure. Starred in more than 100 "Dead End Kids" and "Bowery Boys" films in the 1930s through the '50s.
Brion James, 54, died Aug. 7, heart attack. Played the murderous droid Leon in Ridley Scott's "Blade Runner."
Madeline Kahn Madeline Kahn, 57, died Dec. 3, ovarian cancer. Oscar-nominated actress-comedian who starred in "Blazing Saddles" and "Paper Moon."
Garson Kanin, 86, died March 13, heart failure. Oscar-nominated screenwriter ("Adam's Rib," "Pat and Mike"); penned hit play "Born Yesterday." DeForest Kelley
DeForest Kelley, 79, died June 11, long illness. Starred as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy on TV's original "Star Trek" series and in several of the franchise's big-screen movies.
Richard Kiley, 76, died March 5, bone marrow disease. Actor/singer best known for introducing audiences to original power ballad, "The Impossible Dream," via Broadway's "Man of La Mancha."
Stanley Kubrick, 70, died March 7 in his sleep. Acclaimed director of films such as "Dr. Strangelove," "Spartacus," "2001: A Space Odyssey," "A Clockwork Orange" and "The Shining."
Desmond Llewelyn, 85, died Dec. 19, car accident. British actor who played James Bond's gadget-guru Q through "From Russia With Love" (1963) to "The World Is Not Enough" (1999).
Victor Mature, 86, died Aug. 4, cancer. Hunky star of the 1940s and 50s, with leading roles in "Samson and Delilah" and "My Darling Clementine."
Jay Moloney, 35, died Nov. 16, suicide. Talent agent known as the "boy wonder," who once represented Hollywood heavies such as Steven Spielberg and Leonardo DiCaprio.
Clayton Moore, 85, died Dec. 28, heart attack. Longtime star of TV's "The Lone Ranger."
Dana Plato, 34, died May 8, apparent accidental drug overdose. Former child star of the 1970s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes."
Abraham Polonsky, 88, died Oct. 26, heart attack. Oscar-nominated screenwriter ("Body and Soul"); one of the blacklisted Hollywood Ten.
Mario Puzo, 78, died July 2, heart failure. Novelist/screenwriter ("The Godfather") who two Oscars for his screenplays for "The Godfather" (1972) and "The Godfather Part II" (1974).
Irving Rapper, 101, died Dec. 20. Golden-era director best known for collaborating with Bette Davis on four films, including "Now, Voyager" (1942).
Oliver Reed, 61, died May 2, apparent heart attack. British actor best known for starring in "Oliver!" and "Women in Love."
Charles "Buddy" Rogers, 94, died April 21, natural causes. Starred in 1927's "Wings," the first film to win the Best Picture Oscar; widower of silent-star Mary Pickford.
George C. Scott George C. Scott, 71, died Sept. 22, ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm. Gruff-voiced leading man who starred in "Dr. Strangelove" and "Anatomy of a Murder." Won (and refused) the Oscar for 1970's "Patton"; won Emmy and Golden Globe for 1997's Showtime film "12 Angry Men."
Sylvia Sidney, 88, died July 1, throat cancer. Veteran actress whose career spanned the 1930s through the 1990s. Nominated for an Oscar for 1973's "Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams." Gene Siskel
Gene Siskel, 53, died Feb. 20, brain tumor. With Roger Ebert, the nation's most influential movie critic and purveyor of the "thumbs up/thumbs down" rating system on their syndicated TV series. Writer for Chicago Tribune.
Susan Strasberg, 60, died Jan. 21, breast cancer. Theater/TV/film actress ("The Diary of Anne Frank"); daughter of famed acting guru Lee Strasberg; cohort of Marilyn Monroe.
David Strickland, 29, died March 23, suicide. Co-star of the NBC sitcom "Suddenly Susan"; played a lovelorn ex-boyfriend in "Forces of Nature" (1999).
Mel Torme, 73, died June 5, complications from stroke. Velvety crooner of jazz and pop, who co-wrote "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)."
Norman Wexler, 73, died Aug. 23, heart attack. Oscar-nominated screenwriter of "Joe" and "Serpico." Also wrote "Saturday Night Fever" and "Stayin' Alive."
John Woolf, 86, died June 28, heart failure. British producer of "Oliver!" and "The African Queen."
The series, set in Los Angeles, focuses on the relationship between Adam Bonner, the assistant D.A., and his wife Amanda, a prosecuting attorney with the firm of Kipple, Kipple, and Smith, and the problems that arise when the two are assigned the same case.