I think we can all agree that Dr. Mindy Lahiri is one of the best characters on TV right now — all of us save the Emmy voters, that is (man, does that double Emmy snub sting). Whining aside, the Mindys have gifted us with the boon of countless quotable soundbytes: almost everything out of her mouth is totally .GIF-worthy. So, with that in mind, we've compiled some of her very best quotes: some of them offer sage life advice, some of them voice opinions that we all secretly have but would never have the courage to voice (*cough* Michael Fassbender *cough*), and some of them are just flat-out hilarious.
1. On girlcrushes:
2. On being single:
3. On wicked burns:
4. On what to look for in a mate:
5. On her metabolism:
...the doctor was her.
6. On her butt:
7. On overindulgence:
8. On Lincoln Center (and why she's not allowed there):
9. On her weight:
10. And her body type:
11. On the very real hazards of drunk shaving:
12. On sex ed:
13. On how to do the club right:
14. On her fundamental rights:
15. And finally, on online dating:
"There is an intimate sex scene, where I wear an astronaut suit and Ashley wears a furry outfit. In real life I would say it's very possible you might asphyxiate yourself if you do that. I wouldn't recommend it... It turns out having sex in an astronaut suit is not as easy or as enticing as it sounds." Frozen star Josh Gad did not enjoy pretending to have sex onscreen with his movie lover Ashley Greene for their new film Wish I Was Here.
Actor Kal Penn is set to produce and host a show on America's National Geographic Channel about how maps, statistics and data provide information about the world. Mapology, which will premiere next spring (15), will examine how "money, sex, food, sports, crime, weather and even animal migrations influence (people's) daily lives".
The Superman Returns star says, "National Geographic has a legacy of transporting people to amazing places and with Mapology, we're going to establish connections made through statistics and data, and reveal how the bigger picture affects the real world, throughout history, across societies and into our hearts and brains."
Warner Bros. Pictures
Summer is finally here, which means the mosquitoes will inherit the earth for three sweltering months and our only retreat is the freon blasted confines of your local movie theater. Luckily, there are a ton of comedy movies heading our way this summer, and there's certainly a little something for everyone on the calendar. Whether you enjoy the meta-absurdity of 22 Jump Street, the talky romance of Woody Allen's latest, or the costume hijinks of Let's Be Cops, we've created a handy guide to help you determine which of this year's summer comedies is best for you.
22 Jump Street
Release Date: June 13What's It About: In this sequel to 21 Jump Street, Detectives Schmidt and Jenko go undercover once again. This time, a new, hip drug is making its way through a college campus. Time to do the same thing all over again.What Were You Like as a Kid: You were seriously hyper, jumping from one activity to another so quickly, it drove your parents bonkers. Besides having way too much energy, you were also pretty quick witted and funny. Jokes were falling from your mouth every second, and as a result, you spent many school days hanging out in the principal's office. He's actually was a pretty swell guy once you got to know him.What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up: A stand-up comic. A career that could take all that jubilant energy and turn it into some it some crushing self-deprecating comedy. If not that, then perhaps a screenwriter.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Catching up on classic Mel Brooks and Monty Python flicks at your local movie theater's special midnight showings. You have to keep in touch with the greats if you want to become the best comedian you can.
Release Date: July 2What's It About: After losing her job and learning that her husband has been unfaithful, Tammy hits the road with her profane, hard-drinking grandmother in order to see Niagara Falls.What Were You Like as a Kid: You were a wild child. If you're a guy, you probably had the finest pre-school mullet in the Tri-State area. It was a real work of art. You were that kid that people mostly got along with, but everyone was still slightly afraid of, and for good reason.What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up: Is being a professional robber a thing? If it is, then definitely that. If that didn't work out, you wanted to be a professional wrestler.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Wearing sleeveless T-shirts, because sleeves in the summertime are for fancy people and democrats.
Release Date: July 18What's It About: After 10 years of a so-so marriage, Jay and Annie try to spice up their routine by making a sex tape, but the recording gets shared to that mysterious cloud thing all the young people are talking about, and the couple struggles to get it back.What Were You Like as a Kid: Even as a child, you yearned for the comforting ease of domestic life. While everyone else couldn't wait to get wild and crazy at college, you just wanted to settle down, have 2.5 kids, and live in a quiet suburb where nothing really happens. You wanted to get married to you middle-age sweetheart that you only met two weeks prior, because true love isn't bound by silly adult things like logic.What You Wanted to Be when You Grew Up: A lawyer or a doctor. Something that looks really good on a business card.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Hitting the local country club for a couple swings of golf, praying that no one else realizes you have no idea what you're doing. What the hell is a bogey anyway?
Magic in the Moonlight
Release Date: July 25What’s It About: In the 1920s, skeptic and stage musician Stanley tries to debunk a young woman named Sophie, who claims to be a spiritualist.What Were You Like as a Kid: You were a romantic. While the other kids lived in constant fear of a class 5 cooties outbreak, you spent your formative years working on your game. You saw yourself as a young ladykiller or dudeslayer, and hoped to grow up into a player. You listened to jazz, read F. Scott Fitzgerald, asked your grandpa for style advice. Most teachers said you had an “old soul.”What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up: You were saddened to learn that “professional fancy person” wasn’t really a feasible career choice, but you’d settle with museum curator.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Sitting on a deserted beach and reading a nice jazz-age novel.
Let's Be Cops
Release Date: August 13What's It About: Best Friends Ryan and Justin go to a costume party dressed up as cops, but when everyone at the shindig actually believes that they're real officers of the law, they let the new found power go to their heads and they get wrapped up with actual mobsters.What Were You Like as a Kid: You were a control freak. You were most likely a hall monitor in elementary school and wore that plastic badge like it was the real deal. You tormented your classmates with detention slips and everything was in your jurisdiction, even the water fountains. You walked down the halls like the big man on campus and flexed what little bit of power so hard for all its worth. You liked to think of yourself as tough, but the second a big kid real threatened you, you went straight to a teacher to tattle. Hey, this cheap orange sash and badge is cool, but it ain't that cool.What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up: A cop, obviously, but you'll probably end up a mid-level manager at your local Applebees, using your those same hall monitor scare tactics on your new 16-year-old wait staff.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Lifeguarding. What other summer activity allows you to exact dominion over people for 15 dollars an hour?
Life of CrimeRelease Date: August 29What's it About: Loving wife Margaret Dawson is kidnapped by a couple of career criminals and held for ransom, but her husband has no intention of paying to get her back.What Were You Like as a Kid: You were a hustler. You were always scheming to make more cash, whether it be selling candy out of your backpack or doing homework for the dumb kids. Eventually you refined you hustle into something more lucrative, but everyone has to start somewhere.What You Wanted to Be When You Grew up: Sawyer from Lost.Your Favorite Summer Activity: Extreme Couponing. Being an actual con man is quite dangerous, but you can still get that same adrenaline rush from scoring 300 tubes of toothpaste for 50 cents. Ah, the thrill of the chase.
It's easy to get caught up in the world of Orange is the New Black. The grittiness and emotional rawness of the show can lead you to believe that you are seeing prison life as it really is. Luckily, real former prisoners have spoken up about the show. Though there's a lot OITNB gets right about life behind bars, there's definitely some deviation from reality. Here are some of the real prisoners' best quotes, though we also recommend reading their full stories.
On racism:"The show is racist. Yes, I said it. That’s because the entire prison apparatus is racist, thus any show based on it, rooted in it, must also be racist." – Bruce Reilly for RIfuture.org
On ingenuity: "From Sophia’s stylish silver shower shoes made from duct tape and Morello’s Kool-Aid as mascara/lip gloss to the hooch at Tricia’s Irish wake, prisoners learn to make do with less. This echoes my experience. I saw inmates cut hair with toenail clippers (no pimped-out full-service salons like Sophia’s!), cook grilled cheese with a laundry room iron, and fashion free weights from massive boulders in laundry bags and tied around a bar." – Jeff Smith in Buzzfeed
On suffering: "[On the show] you don't see someone sitting in the corner crying, and someone sitting at the other end of the table crying." – Diana Delgado in the Chicago Tribune
On segregation: “If you’re a drug offender, you hang out with drug offenders. If you’re in for a money crime, people think you’re intelligent. Then you have the sex offenders that you really don’t mess with at all.” – Michelle Vaughn in New York Magazine
"In Orange, the races eat together, which was exceptionally rare at the Kentucky prison where I spent 2010. I did it my first week when I was the only white guy in my cell block and didn’t know any other whites; an Aryan Brotherhood member pulled me aside later that day and advised me not to do so again." – Jeff Smith
On showering: "The shower itself is disgusting. There was different types of molds and funguses growing on the shower — out and around the shower." – Jason Porter, a former inmate at the prison where some of Orange is the New Black is shot
On visits: “Your hair looks like a mess, and you’re wearing that awful gray potato sack, and then you wait so long just for a one-hour visit.” – Laura in New York Magazine
"It was so much fun. Everyone was freaked out because I'm nude, but in real life, when I have sex, I'm naked. I don't have a bra on, and I don't usually have panties on. So let's make a real movie! Let's bring truth to the scene! I didn't want to be exploited, but this girl (her character) - like most girls when they first have sex - doesn't know what she's doing." Actress Shailene Woodley had no problem getting naked for sex scenes in her upcoming movie White Bird in a Blizzard.
"He is the star of the show but I don't have any scenes with him... I'm just in a few episodes." Comedian Sarah Silverman won't get to share any scenes opposite real-life boyfriend Michael Sheen when she joins the cast of his TV drama Masters of Sex.
Bachman Turner Overdrive founder Tim Bachman has been charged with sexual assault. Canadian police have charged the guitarist with several sexual offences, including sexual assault, sexual interference and invitation to sexual touching, following an investigation into incidents that took place two decades ago, according to CBC News.
Bachman is currently free under the provision he must avoid contact with anyone under the age of 16.
Additionally, he has been ordered to stay away from public parks, schoolyards, swimming pools and other areas where minors are present, reports RollingStone.com.
Last year (13), an unidentified woman claimed Bachman had groped her while she was living with him as a foster child. He was found not guilty of the charges.
Bachman co-founded BTO with his brothers Robbie and Randy in 1973. He was a member of the rock group for six years, and rejoined in the early 1980s.
After turning his back on music in the early 1990s, Bachman became a real estate agent in Abbotsford, Canada.
This week's episode of Real Housewives of New York is all about communication, or lack thereof. Everyone is on the outs with Ramona Singer, a.k.a. Eyelander, last living original housewife. She left the Berkshires under the pretense of having a repressed memory episode of hysterics. Instead, she went to a party held by Molly Sims, who hadn’t been mentioned on television this much in years. Ramona is a big fan of communi-hating — it’s like communicating, except you just yell at people and don’t listen to what they have to say. She seems to have a screw loose. Even with the occasional pretense, everyone on New York seems authentic, without pushing for a “storyline.” Instead, they just seems to be acting like themselves.
Nothing tops off a night of binge-drinking better than early morning yoga. After drunkenly plotting revenge against Ramona, all the ladies are looking a little rough. Sonja Morgan, a.k.a. In-the-Red Sonja, Warrior of Booze, laughs as she has trouble doing yoga without passing wind. Meanwhile, Kristen Taekman is the only one who is halfway functional. Is it her youth or is her liver the most effective at removing toxins from her body?
LuAnn & Carole: Sisters in Drag
Carole Radziwill is being photographed for a magazine. She is getting deluxe make-up contouring on her face which is pretty intense for a biological woman. She calls her pal LuAnn "Desperate" Lesseps to join her because she has a piece about manners she hasn’t written. Once again, a cool girl (Carole dated George Clooney) takes advantage of an outcast. Is it okay for a writer to take ideas from a fellow author? Also, she weirdly reads out her own by-line. Meanwhile, didn’t she get miffed when LuAnn asked her friend to borrow a dress? LuAnn and her boyfriend Jacques fix up Carole with actor Nick Gregory. You might remember him from… something? But sadly, Carole acts awkwardly and asks inappropriate questions embarrassing this attractive guy in a TV credit for his reel. She asks his age, tells him she’s going to play matchmaker, and then talks about him like he isn’t there.
The Ramona Coaster Off the Rails
Heather Thomson masterminds a confrontation with Ramona. This is after taking a second to randomly grab Kristen’s son’s ice cream cone to take a lick. The girls decide to sit in a circular table to keep Ramona from escaping. LuAnn, well versed in Passive Aggressive English, broaches the topic heavy-handedly. Everyone starts yelling at once in a cacophony of wailing. No, they are not trying to lure the Hydra from his lair, they just want Ramona to understand she’s rude. But Ramona has been rewarded for rudeness since her first day on television. In the end, Sonja is making no sense and Carole is making genius barbs under her breath.
Kristen vs. Her Husband Josh
Kristen and Josh Taekman get into a passive aggressive fight during their daughter Kingsley’s physical therapy. The sad part is that they clearly don’t listen to each other. Their daughter is struggling with an inability to walk and they are fighting in front of the woman trying to help her. Little do they know, their physical therapist had to hug her cat Kitty Ruxpin all night while swearing off all men just to get to sleep. Josh is insensitive by taking calls and emails the whole time. Kristen, meanwhile, is needlessly aggressive in front of a stranger, and all of America. She also doesn’t understand the demands of his job. They need a mediator, stat.
Ramona vs. Kristen: Round Deux
Ramona is suddenly repentant about what happened with Kristen… to everyone but Kristen. She has a work out complete with a bottle of wine. Her husband, Mario Singer shows up to discuss the drama. Do they not realize this seems so staged? She invites Kristen to tea to apologize. However, Kristen is justifiably angry. Not pressing charges or fighting back left Kristen with some displaced anger. She’s wants an answer for “Why?” Ramona seems subdued and not as hopped up as she normally is. Kristen asks Ramona if it’s an alcohol or anger management issue. These strike a nerve and Ramona tries to make an exit. Then, like no one before her, Kristen points out how crazy Ramona acts and how she’s always in a rush.
Real Houselines of New York
"Oh God! Her face is banged up." – Sonja upon seeing LuAnn in the morning
"I had a leash on and you were whipping me last night." – Sonja possibly reporting what happened
"I don’t want to be cut. I’d rather be cut with my body than cut with a knife." – Ramona unaware there’s other choices
"I chose to sit to the right of Ramona because I’m like a linebacker from the 49ers. There was no way she was getting up." – LuAnn about her size?
"Who gives a s**t about Molly Sims?" – Ramona
"You need as Swiss team of doctors." – Carole on Ramona’s therapy needs
"To a woman who wrote The Widow’s Guide to Sex & Dating. You’d think she’d be better at this." – LuAnn on Carole
United Artists via Everett Collection
It all starts with a mullet and an attitude. By the time that Patrick Swayze appeared as the legendary bouncer (or cooler) Dalton in 1989's Road House, he was two years removed from his star making turn in Dirty Dancing. Audiences already knew that he could dance, but nobody knew that he could rip a guy's throat out with his bare hands.
In the 25 years since its release, Road House has become a cult classic, both for its over-the-top fight scenes and Swayze's mock-philosophical dialogue and awesome hair. With its frequent appearances on cable television, it's never out of sight for very long, but we've compiled some fun facts to help you enjoy the greatest bad movie ever the next time you find yourself drawn in by the majesty of Swayze. Just remember the immortal words of Dalton: "I want you to be nice, until it's time not to be nice."
1. Although the film is set in the town of Jasper, Missouri, the exterior of the film's infamous bar The Double Deuce was built strictly for the filming on location in California and then was torn down. Some of the interiors were shot, however, in a real bar in Anaheim that has since closed.
2. Screenwriter David Lee Henry has said that Dalton was named after the town of Dalton, Georgia. He stopped at a bar there during a road trip and it ended up serving in part as the inspiration for his script.
3. Dalton is shown reading Jim Harrison's Legends of the Fall, which is the basis for the 1994 Brad Pitt-Anthony Hopkins movie of the same name.
4. Movie trailers frequently feature parts that are subsequently cut before a film is released, but Road House has the unofficial record for the most occurrences of deleted scenes. The original trailer had at least five different clips that don't appear in the finished version.
5. The Jeff Healey Band, which serves as the house band of The Double Deuce, had their biggest hit "Angel Eyes" on the charts while Road House was still in theaters, but the song isn't from the movie. Healey, the blind Canadian guitarist, and his group recorded their album See the Light concurrently with the movie soundtrack.
6. In a sad coincidence, both Swayze and Ben Gazzara, who played Dalton's nemesis Brad Wesley, both died of pancreatic cancer… Swayze in 2009 and Gazzara in 2012.
7. As awesome as Swayze's mullet was, the actor himself didn't like it. In the book One Last Dance, Swayze's biographer Wendy Leigh quoted the actor as calling the Road House hair style the "bane of my existence."
8. Red West, who played the owner of the auto parts store (also named Red), was a high school friend of Elvis Presley. West was a charter member of Presley's "Memphis Mafia" and functioned as one of the singer's bodyguards into the 1970s.
9. Even though Dalton famously says that "Pain don't hurt," the axiom didn't apply to Swayze. Among the various ways he was banged up during shooting was when Marshall Teague, who played Jimmy (the bad guy who gets his throat ripped out), hit Swayze with what he thought was a prop log... only to find out that it was actual hard wood.
10. One of the fired bartenders from The Double Deuce was played by John Doe, better known to music fans as the founder of the punk band X.
11. Kevin Tighe, who played Dalton's boss, bar owner Frank Tilghman, was better known for his work on television. He was one of the stars of the '70s hit Emergency! and later played Locke's father on Lost.
12. Even though Swayze is shown practicing t'ai chi, Dalton never actually uses that particular style of martial arts in the movie's fight scenes. Instead he uses moves from various sources, including the Korean discipline of hapkido.
13. Annette Bening was originally cast as "Doc," the ER doctor played by Kelly Lynch.
14. Lynch said in an interview with The AV Club that Bill Murray and his brothers like to call her husband, screenwriter Mitch Glazer (Scrooged), every time that they see Road House on TV to remind him about her steamy sex scenes with Swayze.
15. Lynch reportedly spent a month hanging around a real emergency room to prepare for her role. She learned the proper way to sew a medical stitch… but then the script was changed so that she never got to showcase her new skill.
16. Dalton had a thing for Buicks. Before he leaves for Missouri the "beater" car that he drives to protect his prized Mercedes is a 1964 Buick Riviera. Once he gets to Jasper, he buys the 1965 edition of the same car model.
17. Just as he had with Dirty Dancing, Swayze sings on the soundtrack and his song "Cliff's Edge" is heard on a radio in the film.
18. The Otis Redding song "These Arms of Mine" is used during one of the love scenes between Swayze and Lynch. In Dirty Dancing, the same song is used during the initial love scene between Swayze and Jennifer Grey.
19. Kitschy stage director Timothy Haskell did an off-Broadway retelling of Road House in 2003 titled Road House: The Stage Version of the Cinema Classic That Starred Patrick Swayze Except This One Stars Taimak from the '80s Cult Classic 'The Last Dragon' Wearing a Blonde Mullet Wig.Try saying that three times fast.
20. Road House has been a running gag on both Mystery Science Theater 3000, where it was Crow's favorite movie, and in Family Guy, where Peter punctuates every fight by name-checking the film. Not to be outdone, teammates of Cincinnati Bengals' quarterback Andy Dalton call him "Road House" thanks to his surname.
Edition of the HBO documentary magazine for adults. Includes segments on a sex-oriented "lifestyle convention," the Miss Black Nude Contest and a French chain of sex supermarkets, where ordinary people buy sex paraphernalia and clothing.