You know the old adage that famous people don't eat? Not true, America! While the days of ice chips, coffee, and cigarette diets may exist for some, others are getting in on the noms. But even still--some of those celebrities felt their love of food and eating wasn't being heard. So, they decided to take it a step further and write cookbooks.
Celebrity cookbooks are a funny thing: unless you're a celebrity chef, they seem like a strange career choice. So why do they keep making them? Well, it's a pretty easy way to convey who you are as a person to your fans without doing much of anything. Compile some family recipes (or get another chef to do it for you!). Take some pretty pictures and TA-DA! In that vein, it seems only likely that if you can judge a celebrity on their cookbook, you can definitely judge the reader, as well. So now's your chance to finally know the truth about yourself, thanks to your favorite celebrity cookbook.
If The Tucci Cookbook is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You enjoy a sturdy red wine and a little Sinatra in the afternoons. When cooking a pasta dish (handpicked by the Tucc himself), you like to hum "A Little Night Music" to your stewing tomatoes. You own pajama sets. You indulge in the occasional cigar on your porch on late autumnal evenings. Most of your furniture enjoys a cherry wood finish.
You frequently host dinner parties with your friends and always make a point to try and cook the best food that anyone's ever had. You laugh it off with a "oh, this old recipe? Wasn't my best!" You don't drive a Prius, but rather a high-end hybrid like a Lexus. You go on vacations that solely occur for the purpose of trying new food and wine. You read the New York Times cover to cover every weekend. Sometimes you even finish the crossword. At least once a month a couple you know ends up with their photo in the Style section.
You watch MSNBC and Rachel Maddow is your dream dinner guest. You regularly buy and then donate books to a local independent bookstore. Your favorite weekend activity involves sitting down with the new New Yorker after a day of outdoor activities. On Sundays, you season your cast iron skillets.
If Fabulicious is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You love the finer things in life! Your favorite apron is a bedazzled leopard print with a ruffled hem. You have matching ones for your daughters. On Saturdays you have "GIRLS' NIGHT!" where you keep the pinot grigio flowing while old Bon Jovi tunes blast. After a couple glasses, your husband drives you and the ladies to Luckie's Karaoke Bar and for a moment, you feel young again. And oh, what a sweet moment it is--it brings wistful sigh to your lips and a twinkle to your eye.
Your best friends are also your worst enemies because they know you so well. You hate them when they're right, but love them when they support you. You jokingly call spaghetti "spaghett!" just to get on everyone's nerves.
For you, though, family is everything. You love spending weekends with everyone, having craft corners with the kids, dress-up parties, and crazy weekend cabin getaways where everyone can let it all hang out. At the end of the day, you're a simple person: you only want the best! It's not complicated, is it?
If Don't Fill Up on the Antipasto is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
Sometimes you accent your everyday conversations with over-ennunciated Italian to prove your heritage. Your best friends are nicknamed Gumba, Luig, GabbaGool, and The Godfather. You're a family-oriented person who loves your small-town neighborhood away from all of the urban hullabaloo--though you will go to Arthur Avenue to get the good bread when you have the chance. You own a sporty car and love to rev your engine and pretend to race people at red lights. Your favorite brewski (you don't say beer) is whatever's coldest and you don't have time for knowing what sort of red wine you like. Whichever one ya got!
You're not a huge hit in the kitchen, but you know how to put a few things together and make it semi-edible (just don't ask Uncle Vinny about that one time you made the meatballs!). Your favorite sports team is your religion and when they lose you just, well, sort of fall to pieces. Life is hard when your guys aren't #1, huh?
At the end of the day, sitting down to watch some local news while you figure out the coaching schedule for the peewee baseball squad is your bread and butter in life.
If My Father's Daughter is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You love Martha Stewart, but find her craftiness utterly plebeian. You love Ina Garten and have pictures of her home in the Hamptons pasted in your Dream Diary. Your whole home is white, with touches of neutral pastel throw pillows here and there. You're not very happy but you hide it really well: it's all in the flair! You go the extra mile to make sure everything you have (and everything you do!) is absolutely the creme de la creme.
You pride yourself on your ability to speak multiple languages fluently, but you don't like to be showy about it. You window-shop at ETSY but find the quality of the crafts to be just so, ugh. Unrefined: that's it! Unrefined. Everything around you just feels so ho-hum. Sometimes you wonder if that's your own fault--am I an effigy or a human?--but when that feeling sets in, you get to work!
You work out like crazy, and make sure nary a hair is out of place. When you're with your friends, you try desperately to emote in a way that mirrors their own, but it's hard. Being folksy is not your forte, but you get an A for effort!
If If It Makes You Healthy is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You love really cute wordplay: like the book's title! So clever! You ride your bike every Saturday to take a break from your normal 3-hour-a-day workout routine. You're a bit of a health freak, but you can't help yourself when there are multiple dessert options. "Just a taste!" you say, while you swipe another mini-tart off the table.
You're unmarried but hopeful that The One is out there--if only you just work a little bit harder! You put yourself out there, but maybe not enough. Maybe you should go to two singles mixers a week instead of one. Your friend Jennifer said she knows a really great guy, but he works at her local Whole Foods. You're not sure (though the discount on quinoa would be amazing!), but consider her offer.
You have six different boards on Pinterest (totally addicted!) but your "One Day..." dream wedding board is the only one you actually pin to. Late at night, you log into your The Knot profile, occasionally changing the wedding date and guy's name. This month, you believe you should only date guys named Jared. Guys named Jared are so reliable--Jared is like the architect of names (No one is actually an architect--they're only in the movies! You laugh at your own funny observation).
You bake cookies, contemplate eating one, and then immediately package them up for your coworkers. "Treats for my office peeps!" you yell the next morning, smiling maniacally.
If The Tammy Wynette Southern Cookbook is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
YEE HAW, y'all! You are an old school, down-home country guy or gal. Your favorite artist is Dolly Parton, but Tammy Wynette is totally second place in your heart. You never knew the days of petticoats, but you imagine that they were the best. You wear cowboy boots and frilly dresses (or smart jeans and a great gingham shirt) every day--this is your uniform. A variation on a theme!
You cook with your parents every Sunday--your dad loves chicken fried steak, but you just can't stand the deep-fried aspect of it. You won't say no to your mom's sausage gravy and biscuits at breakfast, though! Guilty pleasures are A-OK by you.
You have a really active social life: extracurricular activities aren't just for collegiates! You are a member of the local beautification committee and volunteer at an animal shelter on Saturday mornings. Your little sister is your best friend, though, and you spend every Friday night watching 90s romantic comedies while eating lo mein. Your favorite drink is a whisky sour--extra cherries when the cute bartender is working. You love flirting with this bartender and always get your drinks free if you can't find someone else to buy them for you.
Tailgates, local football games, and line-dancing are your favorite activities, and make you feel like real America is still alive and well. When you have a son you will name him Bud.
If Great Food, All Year Long is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You spend most of your days reading. Food is nourishment for the body, but in its best form, it's feeds the soul as well. You are a philosophical thinker, and feel your own life experiences speak metaphorical volumes about the state of the world. You love to talk to people and give them advice. You have a moderately-impressive wine collection, and love a good port on a blustery February evening. Staring out into space, you imagine that the stars are symbolism for the opportunities we're all presented with and fail to take. You live in the city because you love the hustle and bustle of thousands of human bodies strategically maneuvering around each other at any given second.
You don't have many friends, but the few you do have are very dear. You often have extensive email conversations about the latest episode of This American Life or Fresh Air. Oh that Terry Gross! Sometimes when you're taking a mental break from your tedious but creative career, you listen to her questions and mute the response so that you can pretend you're having a conversation with Terry yourself. Your friends find you very wise and insightful. And your Shepherd's Pie is the stuff of legend.
Oh, you also know why the caged bird sings.
If Karma Cookbook is Your Favorite Celebrity Cookbook...
You used to do a lot of drugs in the 80s and picked this up hungover at The Strand one day. You've never opened it once. What the f**k even is this book? Macrobiotics? You find the book on your shelf after years of neglect. You put it in a box with several others and head down to The Strand to sell the books for some money to buy groceries for the week. After making back a paltry $27.59, you buy a pack of cigarettes and a Red Bull at Walgreens and call your best friend. Maybe you'll get some take-out thai tonight.
[Photo Credit: The Stanley Tucci Cookbook – Gallery Books; My Father's Daughter by Gwyneth Paltrow – Grand Central Publishing; Fabulicious! by Teresa Giudice – Running Press; The Tammy Wynette Southern Cookbook – Pelican Publishing Company; Great Food, All Day Long: Cook Splendidly, Eat Smart by Maya Angelou – Random House; If It Makes You Healthy by Sheryl Crow – St. Martin's Press; Karma Cookbook by Boy George – Carroll & Brown Publishers; Don't Fill Up on the Antipasto by Tony Danza – Simon & Schuster]
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Slim-Fast drops Whoopi Goldberg
Diet aid maker Slim-Fast has sacked spokeswoman Whoopi Goldberg after the comedian made a vulgar riff on President Bush's name at a fund-raiser last week, the Florida-based company said Wednesday. According to The New York Post, Goldberg appeared at Thursday's star-studded John Kerry benefit at Radio City Music Hall in New York waving a bottle of wine while firing off a stream of sexual wordplays on Bush's name in a riff about female genitalia. Slim-Fast general manager Terry Olson said in a statement the company regrets that Goldberg's remarks offended some customers. Reuters reports Republicans have expressed outrage over the fund-raiser for Democratic nominee Kerry and his vice presidential running mate, John Edwards, in which entertainers lined up to skewer Bush.
Britney's ex-hubby spills the beans
Britney Spears' ex-husband and childhood friend Jason Alexander is finally spilling the beans about their 55-hour marriage back in January. In an interview with the British tabloid News of the World, which paid Alexander for the story, the former Mr. Spears said he decided to talk now because he realized the pop star wasn't coming back to him. According to Alexander's version of events, Spears proposed to him while they were lying in bed in their Las Vegas hotel suite after several nights of "mind-blowing and rough" sex. He claims they rushed to a local wedding chapel where their limo driver walked Spears down the aisle. But Alexander said their wedding bliss turned to doom and gloom after they returned to their hotel and started spreading the news. "Britney phoned her mom, and I heard Lynne screaming back at her. She went nuts," he said. Alexander claims the dissolution was underway immediately as Britney's family and a legal team went to work. "Britney and her brother came back in and he said we couldn't be married, it was wrong. Then one of her team said I was ruining her career, that her tour would be wrecked and her ticket sales lost. Britney and I just stood on different sides of the room and didn't speak to each other," Alexander explained. "They spread a load of papers on the desk and said if I cared about Britney I'd sign them."
Halle Berry's former husband dishes on breakup
Another ex singing the blues is Halle Berry's former husband, R&B singer Eric Benet. In an interview set to air Thursday on ABC's Primetime Thursday, Benet says his marriage to Berry didn't fall apart because of her stardom, although he admitted being referred to as "Mr. Halle Berry" was difficult. "I would be dishonest if I told you that wasn't an ego blow," he said, adding: "That was not the reason why our marriage fell apart." Benet also denied having a sexual addiction. "I am not a sex addict. I am a person who ... through a series of emotional events, troubles, challenges, made some really, really stupid, painful mistakes," he said, according to the AP. Benet claims he never committed adultery, but admitted to "physical contact that was extremely inappropriate and wrong in a marriage."
Coppola, Tarantino a couple
In a sea of breakup, there are still some hookups happening in Hollywood. Director Quentin Tarantino and filmmaker Sofia Coppola are "seeing each other," their publicist confirmed to The Associated Press Tuesday. The couple was recently photographed together in Madrid, Spain, where the 41-year-old Tarantino was promoting Kill Bill Vol. 2. They "enjoy each other's company," Ward said. Tarantino is the second director linked to Coppola, 33, who is the daughter of director Francis Ford Coppola. She was married to Being John Malkovich director Spike Jonze for four years. The couple separated a year ago, and Coppola filed for divorce last December.
One Tree Hill stars get engaged
The stars of the WB drama One Tree Hill, Chad Michael Murray and co-star Sophia Bush, both 22, announced Monday they are engaged to be married. Murray, who is currently starring in the teen comedy Cinderella Story, made the announcement during an appearance on CBS' The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn. He said popped the question in Australia, where Murray was filming House of Wax, a remake of the 1953 horror about a professor who uses human bodies to create his wax figures. "I had like 500 candles ... and my assistant ... he had to light all the candles while I had to basically take her to a spa and keep her out of the house until the sun went down," he said.
Nick and Jessica dig parenthood
Newlyweds Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey could very well become parents soon. "We'd love to have our own children, but we have a heart for kids, and we'd love to adopt," the 30-year-old Lachey told Us Weekly at a Big Brothers Big Sisters event in New York City. The magazine reports the couple is considering adopting a teenage child from an underdeveloped country. But don't expect the family expansion to be documented on their MTV reality show Nick & Jessica: Newlyweds. The couple says this may be the last season for their MTV show. "Done!" Simpson told Us. "We're not newlyweds anymore. We've had our share of the cameras. We're at a point where we'll want everything for ourselves and our family."
Michael Moore wants judge to dismiss libel suit
A lawyer for filmmaker Michael Moore has asked a federal judge to dismiss a libel lawsuit filed by the brother of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols, who is serving life in prison. James Nichols claims Moore tricked him into appearing in his 2002 Oscar-winning documentary Bowling for Columbine, which examined guns and violence in American culture. He also alleges Moore libeled him in the film by linking him to the 1995 bombing that killed 168 people. Moore's attorney said his client's claims in Bowling for Columbine--including the assertion that Nichols "slipped away" from authorities investigating the bombing--are protected as free speech. Wednesday's hearing focused on whether the one-year statute of limitations for libel claims had expired by the time Nichols filed suit on Oct. 27, 2003, the AP reports. The film opened in New York and Los Angeles on Oct. 11, 2002.
Jeopardy! ratings skyrocket
Jeopardy! ratings have skyrocketed since seemingly unbeatable contestant Ken Jennings' winning streak started gaining media attention, Reuters reports. Jennings first appeared on the veteran quiz show June 2 and his winnings have since passed the $1 million mark. According to Nielsen Media Research's top 56 "metered" markets, Jeopardy! has tied with Wheel of Fortune for the first time this season, with both shows sitting in the No. 1 spot in the overall syndication rankings for the week. Tuesday's episode marked the 30th consecutive appearance for Jennings, a 30-year-old software developer from Salt Lake City. To mark the start of its 20th season last September, Jeopardy! lifted its five-game limit for winners and allowed them to return until they lose.
Croc hunter cleared of wrongdoing
The Australian government today cleared "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin of allegations he got too close to penguins, a seal and humpback whales while making the documentary Ice Breaker in the Australian-controlled part of Antarctica. The documentary, which aired on the Animal Planet network last month, showed Irwin sliding down an icy slope with penguins and lying on a rock near a leopard seal. Getting too close to Antarctic wildlife can bring fines of up to $720,000 and two years in jail, the AP reports. This wasn't Irwin's first brush with wildlife controversy. A few months ago, critics called Irwin reckless for holding his infant son in one arm while feeding large crocodiles inside a pen at a zoo, but he said there was no danger to his son.
Winona Ryder was charged Friday with one count each of grand theft, commercial burglary, vandalism and possession of a controlled substance, stemming from her Dec. 12 shoplifting arrest at a Saks Fifth Avenue store in Beverly Hills. According to the Associated Press, prosecutors are also seeking to increase Ryder's bail from $20,000 to $30,000. The 30-year-old actress is due back in court Feb. 8 for arraignment.
The Girl, Interrupted star is accused of trying to lift $4,800 in clothing and accessories from the high-end department store and of carrying the painkiller Oxycodone without a prescription. After her arrest, her attorney Mark Geragos contended that Ryder was just carrying items between store departments and that she had receipts for other items she bought in the store, as well as a valid prescription for the painkillers.
Dubbed as the female equivalent of John Travolta in Battlefield Earth, Mariah Carey (Glitter) is this year's frontrunner for worst actress for the Golden Raspberry Awards, which honor the year's worst films. Preliminary tabulations also show Carey's cleavage may also receive a nod, so to speak, in the worst screen couple category, Ananova.com reports. The full list of Razzie nominations will be announced February 11.
Julia Roberts will appear at the Oscars again this year, but this time as a presenter rather than a nominee. It's the third time Roberts, who won Best Actress last year for her role in Erin Brockovich, has presented. The 74th Academy Awards will take place on March 24 at the new Kodak Theater in Hollywood.
Jamie Foxx, who has a house in Las Vegas, told the Las Vegas Review Journal that he may take on the role of Bosley in the Charlie's Angels sequel. Since Bill Murray, who played Bosley in the first film, will not be returning for Charlie's Angels 2, Foxx joked he could replace him as his son, the product of "a hot little night back in the 'hood."
Robert De Niro as fashion plate? An exhibit opening Wednesday at the American Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, New York, will celebrate the various get-ups the actor has worn on screen. Robert De Niro: Costume & Character will trace the actors cinematic ensembles including his leopard skin robe in Raging Bull and the apricot fire-singed suit from Casino, PageSix.com reports.
Hugh Hefner is reportedly looking for an apartment in New York. According to PageSix.com, Hef has enlisted the help of Gordon Golub and Howard Boyar of Citi Habitats to help him with his search. The Playboy king hasn't decided on new digs yet.
According to Nielsen data for Friday and Saturday, NBC is leading early sweeps thanks to strong series performances from Friends and Will & Grace, Variety reports. ABC came in second, thanks in part to Barbara Walters' 20/20 interview with Celine Dion's and Stephen King's Rose Red, with CBS following close behind. Fox came in last, but will probably move into the lead when Sunday's Super Bowl is factored into the February sweeps.
Super Bowl commercials, which sold for an average of just under $2 million for 30 second spots, ran a wide spectrum of topics this year, from fast food to anti-terrorism. Fox said 30 companies bought ads for 37 brands. Brewer Anheuser-Busch was the biggest sponsor with five minutes of ad buys.
NBC's The West Wing has yanked a television spot for this week's episode in which an American reporter is kidnapped, The New York Times reports. The network made the move after viewers pointed out similarities to the abduction of Daniel Pearl, a reporter for The Wall Street Journal. NBC has no plans to replace the episode, but will run a new ad focusing on a different angle of the same plot.
Pop star Brandy Norwood secretly married music producer Robert Smith last summer, reports celebrity gossip maven Florence Anthony. The singer and Cover Girl model said in a statement through her record company, Atlantic Records, "I've fallen in love with a very warm, gentle, understanding, and focused person...This summer we married quietly."
Following a two-year break, Celine Dion is getting back to work with a new album and a multimillion dollar Las Vegas performance contract, and is also making plans to have a second baby. According to Reuters, the 33-year-old singer has clinched a deal to sing five nights a week for three years at Caesar's Palace. In an interview with Barbara Walters last Friday, Dion also revealed plans to use a frozen embryo to try for a second child with her manager-husband Rene Angelil after her Las Vegas stint.
Paul McCartney is planning a tour for the first time in 10 years, Reuters reports. In a statement Monday, McCartney announced the Drivin' USA tour will start some time in early April and include 14 concerts in the United States plus one show in Canada.
A tribute to the O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack featuring Emmylou Harris, Alison Krauss, Ralph Stanley, Gillian Welch and the Soggy Bottom Boys will be among the first musical acts for the 44th annual Grammys, Variety reports. The Dave Matthews Band, 'N Sync, Nelly, U2 and Alicia Keys were previously announced as performers.
Movin' Out, a musical featuring 26 of Billy Joel's songs and instrumental compositions, will begin Broadway performances at the Richard Rodgers Theatre on September 30, Broadway.com reports. The show is scheduled to play a world premiere engagement at Chicago's Shubert Theatre from June 25 to August 4 before heading to New York.
Special reveals behind-the-scenes footage of the making of Discovery Channel Pictures' first theatrical film, "The Leopard Son," which follows an African leopard cub from birth to his coming of age. The special also profiles the film's producer and composer.