Last night's Golden Globes were full of surprise wins, strange moments, and bleeped-out speeches, but the real stars of the night weren't the films or shows that took home awards, they were the hosts. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler returned for a second year to drink wine, heckle celebrities, and make all of us wish that we could be their friend. This year, the Golden Globes were the award show everyone was most looking forward to, which meant that they had the difficult task of coming up with a show that topped everything they did last year. After all, last year had "drunk" Glenn Close, the stars of Dog President, and a James Cameron joke that still makes people laugh.
So, just how well did our favorite funny ladies do this time around? We've graded them on their jokes, sketches and props to determine whether or not Fey and Poehler managed to make this Golden Globes even funnier than the last. And considering how stunning they both looked last night, we think they're off to a pretty good start.
The Monologue: A-Fey and Poehler had a lot to live up to this year, as their 2013 monologue has been passed around the internet more times than any other awards show opening. But despite a shaky start - we were amused by the Tom Hanks/Tam Honks joke, but nobody in the room seemed to be - and some hilarious but surprisingly racy jokes, they delivered a solid monologue and proved why they're the best awards hosts around, and the opening was once again the best part of the night. The biggest laugh and biggest burn went to a joke about Gravity, "the story of how George Clooney would rather float off into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Their other major burn? "Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club he lost forty-five pounds. Or, what actresses call 'being in a movie.'" They made a few callbacks to last year's awards, which included Poehler's goofy bit with Martin Scorsese, where she listed all of the Bobby's and Danny's who wanted to say hi to him in her Boston accent, and earning a high-five with a quip about Masters of Sex being the degree she earned in college.
One of their funniest jokes came at the expense of a slightly unexpected target, when Fey said that the movie Her "takes place in a not-so-distant future, which is perfect, because so does Joaquin Phoenix." Phoenix looked slightly confused, but seemed to be a good sport about it. Their other surprising target was Captain Phillips star Barkhad Abdi, who earned two separate jokes, including one from Fey about how The Blacklist is the list of people invited to her room later, which she punctuated with a Somali Pirate shout-out and by telling Abdi "I am the captain now." it probably shouldn't have worked, but for some reason it did, and Abdi's willingness to play along helped it land. It was just the start of some slightly more risque material, including the first of many genitalia jokes, with a reference to the prosthetic that Jonah Hill used in The Wolf of Wall Street "so you have that to look forward to the next time you eat at Planet Hollywood."
By far, the best part of their monologue was their shout out to Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who was nominated in both the film and television categories. Fey and Poehler made reference to her "changing" and sitting with the film actors, and the cameras cut to Louis-Dreyfus, wearing sunglasses, smoking a e-cigarette and pretending not to remember her friends. She then upped the ante by waving off an excited Reese Witherspoon, who tried to take a picture with her, and together, she, Fey and Poehler stole the show.
Randy Fey: AAs part of Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgqick's introduction of their daughter, Miss Golden Globe, Sosie Bacon, Fey rushed out onstage to introduce Mr. Golden Globe, her adult son from a previous relationship, Randy aka Poehler in a tux and a ridiculous Bieber-inspired wig. After trading a few jokes about Randy's unwillingness to participate, Fey chided Randy to introduce himself to Sosie, which prompted Poehler to ask, "What are you, the Olympics?" It was a quick, amusing bit that they then took to the next level when Fey declared that Randy's estranged father was somewhere in the room, leading Poehler to march over to Idris Elba and ask if he was the father. Elba seemed completely game to have fathered Fey's child, and even a little disappointed when Fey dismissed the idea with a curt, "Think about it!" Poehler then went with the next best option, Harvey Weinstein, and judging by Fey's awkward silence, it seems like whatever Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom brings in at the box office will have to go towards Randy's college fund. Unfortunately, the cameras cut away from a hilarious shot of Poehler caressing Weinstein's face, but it was a great bit, and helped keep the show as weird as ever.
The Swift Joke: B+Remember when Fey and Poehler made a joke about Taylor Swift dating Michael J. Fox's son at last year's ceremony, and Swift didn't seem to think it was funny at all? Well, the hosts remembered, and Fey made reference to the most surprising celebrity feud of all time when she celebrated Poehler's Best Actress in a Comedy win with this statement: "I just want to say congratulations again to my friend Amy Poehler, I love you and there's a special place in hell for you." The joke is a call-back to the quote by Katie Couric that Swift used in a Vanity Fair article to express her dislike of Fey and Poehler's comments last year, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women." And with that, let's hope the score between these three has finally been settled.
The Leo Joke: AOne of the funniest and most shocking jokes of the night came towards the end, after everyone had apparently hit the open bar a little too hard. When introducing presenter Leonard DiCaprio, Fey decided to go with this zinger: "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonard DiCaprio." Like the rest of us, DiCaprio found it funny, and was still laughing to himself when he arrived onstage to present. It might not be the kind of joke that anyone expected to hear at the Golden Globes, but it's definitely unforgettable.
The Lack of Fey and Poehler: CIf you've missed the show and are catching up through this recap, it might sound hard to believe, but there was actually a surprising lack of screen time for our favorite hosts. Sure, they had the monologue at the beginning and the Randy skit halfway through, but other than that, they only appeared periodically to introduce presenters, only to disappear backstage for about a half an hour at a time. We don't begrudge the ladies for wanting to take a quick break and share a martini with Emma Thompson, because we know that hosting can be very stressful, but we wish that Fey and Poehler had gotten a little more to do between awards. Think of the jokes they could've come up with after Jacqueline Bisset's disjointed and overly-censored acceptance speech. Or the delight that would've resulted from them sharing the stage with Diddy. Hopefully, they will celebrate the end of their hosting run next year by spending a lot more time onstage, drinking wine and making jokes. At the very least, someone should hand them some popcorn and let them heckle everyone's speeches next year. It'll certainly go over better than the awkward play-off music does.
Golden Globe Winner Amy Poehler: A+Setting aside the jokes, the monologue, and the Bieber wig, the best moment of the night had to be when Poehler finally won her first major award for her role as Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. After celebrating in true Poehler fashion (making out with Bono, of course), she appeared to be genuinely surprised and delighted and delivered a speech that was both funny and heartwarming. And because she's the nicest woman in Hollywood, she took a moment to share her joy and her award with her thrilled cast members, by shouting out "Whoo, Parks!" while they all cheered and clapped. It may have taken a lot longer than we all would have liked, but Poehler is finally a Golden Globe winning actress. Looks like Jon Hamm will have to host that Loser's Party alone next year.
Final Grade: AIt might not have been as polished as last year's awards, but in the end, Fey and Poehler delivered their second time around, and helped continue the Golden Globes' tradition of being the funniest and most outrageous award show of all. Only one whole year to go until we get to see them hosting again.
The Following is a very scary, creepy show about a serial killer and his cult full of acolytes murdering in his name. It is also the reason Kevin Bacon and James Purefoy kissed in front of a room full of journalists on a Tuesday morning.
The back story: The two men and their castmates gathered in a hotel ballroom in Pasadena to discuss their new FOX show at the Television Critics Association winter press tour, and a journalist commented on their explosive chemistry (Purefoy plays the serial killer, Bacon the grizzled FBI agent who put him in jail). While she watched one of their on-screen confrontations, she just wanted them to kiss, she told the men.
"Anything could happen," Bacon said slyly as he leaned over and planted one on his costar.
Purefoy played along. "Rule nothing in, rule nothing out," he smirked after the smooch.
Unfortunately for those watching at home, there are no on-screen kisses between the two leads during the first four episodes screened for critics, although there is a very interesting sexual storyline between some of the supporting characters.
Much of the Following panel focused on the show's violence, along with Bacon's decision to star in his very first television show. The actor said that his move to TV — after wife Kyra Sedgwick's successful seven-year run on The Closer — was actually years in the making.
Bacon told reporters that he had been looking for a suitable television project for a while. "I was looking for a long time, probably three or four years," he explained. "From the moment that I kind of made that decision, I started to read just one amazing pilot after another. What really struck me was all of a sudden the level of the scripts … I was reading all this amazing stuff."
But when The Following came across his plate, he knew it was the perfect match. "I initially had thought that it was going to be on cable. I could not put it down. It was just such a page-turner and I just thought it was such an interesting character. Given the fast-paced, heart-pounding nature of it, it still had a lot of great heart and a certain kind of sentimentality that I responded to."
The Following premieres Monday, Jan. 21 at 9 p.m. on FOX.
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[PHOTO CREDIT: Frank Micelotta/FOX]
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Take Me Home Tonight directed by Michael Dowse is a comedy about the ‘80s but its futility is timeless: In just about any decade it would be considered generic and unfunny. Set in 1988 it stars the likable and witty Topher Grace as Matt a recent MIT grad with a crippling case of post-college career-indecision. Working as a lowly clerk at a video store he has a chance encounter with his high-school crush Tori (Teresa Palmer) who to his (and our) surprise actually displays faint interest in him. But Matt fails to pull the trigger and so he resolves to make up for his lack of cojones when he sees her later that evening at a party hosted by the preppy douchebag boyfriend (Chris Pratt) of his twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris).
This sets the stage for an eventual romantic union between Matt and Tori; until then there is insecurity to overcome and wacky adventures to be had. Many of the latter stem from the increasingly unhinged behavior of Matt’s best friend Barry (Dan Fogler). The film turns on a bag of cocaine Barry finds in the glove compartment of a Mercedes stolen from the dealership that fired him earlier in the day. Cocaine is renowned for its ability to induce euphoria in even the most mundane of settings but it has arguably the opposite effect on Take Me Home Tonight. I consider Fogler to be a legitimately funny guy but he has the irritating tendency to compensate for underwritten material by wildly overacting. Throw in a bag of blow and that tendency is amplified ten-fold.
A happy standout in the film is Palmer who brings a liveliness and dignity to the stereotypical rom-com role of the Otherworldly Hottie Who Inexplicably Falls for the Stammering Schlub. (It also helps that she's the only member of the main cast who is young enough to realistically portray a recent college graduate.) She is one of the more talented young Australian exports to arrive on our shores in quite some time and has the potential to become a saucier version of fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman. That is if she finds material better than Take Me Home Tonight.
Two prominent American directors, Clint Eastwood and Gus Van Sant, will compete for the top prize at this year's prestigious Cannes Film Festival, it was announced Wednesday.
Eastwood's suspense thriller Mystic River, which stars Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon and Tim Robbins, is one of the top contenders for the coveted Palme d'Or, given to the best feature film winner. The film, scheduled for release stateside Oct. 3, 2003, revolves around three childhood friends who are reunited 25 years later when they become linked to a murder investigation.
Good Will Hunting director Van Sant will present Elephant, a film focusing on high school violence.
Also in competition is British director Peter Greenaway's period drama, The Tulse Luper Suitcase, starring J.J. Field and Kathy Bates. The epic tale follows 92 characters, 92 events, and 92 suitcases from the year 1928 to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. This is the director's third Palme d'Or nomination.
Danish director Lars von Trier, who won the Palme d'Or two years ago for the musical Dancer in the Dark, will show his new thriller Dogville. The film stars Nicole Kidman as a woman on the run who takes refuge in a small town inhabited by an anguished apple grower, his wife and their seven children.
French director Patrice Chereau, actress Meg Ryan and director Steven Soderbergh are in this year's jury.
Celebs expected at this year's festival include Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Lauren Bacall, Laurence Fishburne, Keanu Reeves, Monica Bellucci, Toni Collette and James Caan.
The 56th Cannes Film Festival opens May 14 in Paris with Penelope Cruz's new comedy Fanfan la Tulipe, a remake of the 1952 French film starring Gina Lollobrigida.
The French festival also showcases international films out of competition. Warner Bros.' highly anticipated sci-fi sequel The Matrix: Reloaded premieres worldwide May 15 on the festival's second day.
The festival closes on May 25.
Here is the complete list of films in competition:
Les Invasions Barbares, Denys Arcand, Canada
Il Cuore Altrove, Pupi Avati, Italy
Carandiru, Hector Babenco, Brazil
Uzak, Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Turkey
Mystic River, Clint Eastwood, United States
The Brown Bunny, Vincent Gallo, United States
The Moab Story/The Tulse Luper Suitcases--Part I, Peter Greenaway, Britain
Shara, Naomi Kawase, Japan
Akarui Mirai, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, Japan
A Cinq Heures de l'Apres-Midi, Samira Makhmalbaf, Iran
Ce Jour-La, Raoul Ruiz, Switzerland
Father and Son, Alexandre Sokorov, Russia
Dogville, Lars von Trier, Denmark
Elephant, Gus Van Sant, United States
Purple Butterfly, Lu Ye, China
Les Cotelettes, Bertrand Blier, France
La Petite Lili, Claude Miller, France
Swimming Pool, Francois Ozon, France
Les Egares, Andre Techine, France
Tiresia, Bertand Bonello, France
Out of competition:
Le Temps Du Loup, Michael Haneke, France
Vai E Vem, Joao Cesar Monteiro, Portugal
Mansion by the Lake, Lester James Peries, Sri Lanka
The Matrix: Reloaded, Andy and Larry Wachowski, United States
Les Triplettes de Belleville, Sylvain Chomet, France
Qui A Tué Bambi?, Gilles Marchand, France