The episode begins with Kenya Moore, The Goddess of the Bedroom, taking an aerialist class to firm up her booty. Kandi Burruss, Goddess of the Side Eye, shows up and refuses to participate because she doesn’t want to twisted her ankle. Kandi takes it upon herself to bring up the Apollo/Kenya texting debacle. Later, NeNe Leakes, Goddess of Shade, stops by the Worst Best Western to pick up Kenya and take her on a tour of real estate properties she can't afford.
Porsha Stewart, Goddess of Victims, decides to revisit her therapist because she still has two more sessions on her Groupon. Rather than telling her that gold-diggers never prosper, her therapist, bearing a striking resemblance to "The Chief" from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, tells her that Kordell sounds more like a father than a husband. Revelation! It’s also a great break from the borderline-homophobic accusations. Then Porsha re-enacts Pandora’s box, by telling all the girls at lunch that she was the basis for Sleeping with the Enemy, that her husband made false promises and was a control freak.
Cynthia Bailey, Goddess of Elective Surgery, is still in recovery from her outpatient surgery which means lots of bed rest but plenty of time to do her make-up. She turns down a shopping invitation from NeNe. She also forces casually engages in conversation with her daughter about boys. Because, her beautiful daughter doesn’t need to be with a verbally abusive, insensitive, controlling man like Peter.
Meanwhile, Kandi decides to stuff her face with yogurt and ruin a marriage. Phaedra Parks, Goddess of Ambulance Chasers, has to continue talking about “Textgate.” Adonis Apollo greets his wife with a kiss and a genuine discussion of his wants and needs. Phaedra responds with pointed allegations questions about Kenya and Apollo’s casual sex meeting in Los Angeles. Meanwhile, the worst waitress in history, keeps interrupting them at inopportune moments. Then Phaedra, showing the great legal eagle skills that made her a Z-list celebrity lawyer, threatens her husband multiple times on television. The conversation bubbles up until the couple have a truly roughneck conversation in the car with their mics still on.
Hopefully, Titan Shereè Whitfield doesn’t escape from Tartarus and engulf them all.
Phaedra Parks Hall of Fame...for this episode
"With the stress I’m under the last thing I want to do is give her saggy diaper booty any more energy."
"Apollo was not looking for an old beauty queen with scrambled eggs; when he wants that he goes to The Waffle House."
"He’s married to an older woman; he doesn’t want to be with the old-est woman."
"You are about two seconds from me cutting out your tongue."
"I might have to kill him with this damn steak knife. "
Carmen Sandiego, patron saint of geography experts who grew up in the early '90s, could be set to make a return. In what format is the question, however. The PBSOfficial Instagram account posted this photo of the notorious thief's hat and gloves and the caption "Where in the world did this come from? Stay tuned for something awesome!"
Now that could truly mean anything. Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? ran on PBS for five seasons, from 1991 to 1995, and saw kids 10-14 identify geographic landmarks — usually countries or cities — as part of each episode's plot to stop crimson raincoat-wearing thief Carmen Sandiego from mounting an elaborate heist. The series helped educate a whole generation of kids on the difference between Benin and Togo and even aided in preparation for the shuttle run portion of the Presidential Physical Fitness Challenge by making contestants dash across studio-wide continental maps to place markers over the outlines of ever more obscure nations.
But Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? actually started as a computer game in 1985 before making the jump to the (other) small screen. Could PBS' cryptic caption be hinting at a new videogame project for the franchise? A rep for the network confirms that neither new episodes of the show will be produced, nor reruns of its original run be aired "at this time." So don't even expect to see old episodes with host Greg Lee, the late Lynne Thigpen as The Chief, or in-house glee club Rockapella anytime soon, despite this follow-up tweet from the official Carmen Sandiego Twitter account:
If I were to re-air my old PBS episodes, would you watch me? xo - Carmen http://t.co/3fBdgaujfd #WITWICS #CarmenSandiego
— Carmen Sandiego (@CarmenSandiego) July 15, 2013
That tweet is probably just what it states: gauging interest in bringing old episodes of the show back to the network for a future date, though there aren't any definite plans to do so "at this time." If it does come back, can we also start a petition to bring back Shining Time Station too? And how will this girl, all grown up now, feel about having this aired again?
As exciting as whatever this news may be is, it still won't be enough to fill the void in my heart caused by regret over the show being canceled before I was old enough to compete.
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt | Follow Hollywood.com on Twitter @Hollywood_com
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Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? It’s a question every kid of the '90s has asked at one point or another — and now we finally have our answer: She moved to Rosewood!
Gearing up for Season 4, ABC Family released a brand new poster for the mega-hit Pretty Little Liars and we’ve got your first look at the fiercely familiar photo. Dressed in only ruby red trench coats and standing over the show's trademark open grave, there’s no denying it — our four little liars are just a few fedoras short of looking exactly like the escape-prone thief we grew up loving.
Of course we all know the red coats are actually a homage to the red-hooded leader of the A-team who has been terrorizing our foursome for years now. Here’s hoping our ladies have an easier time finding "A" this season than we did while searching for Sandiego all those years ago.
And just to make sure we've triggered all of your most amazing childhood memories, we've conveniently included the Rockapella-sung Carmen Sandiego theme song that will inevitably trigger your nostalgic YouTube spiral. You're welcome.
Season 4 of Pretty Little Liars premieres Tuesday June 11 on ABC Family.
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On this week's episode of Parks and Recreation, the world will shine bright on the wonderful Leslie Knope, giving her the chance to meet the top entirety of her political celebrity sex list: Joe Biden. As surprising as it will be to see the acting vice president guest star on the beloved NBC sitcom (following in the footsteps of Senators John McCain, Barbara Boxer, and Olympia Snowe) it's even more shocking to see where in the world he has been before... specifically, this 1992 episode of Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, on which then Senator Biden made a brief cameo in the scene below:
Again, a fun surprise for any who happens upon the clip (in other words, you're welcome), but Biden is not alone here — a handful of other politicians, in office and out, have made "Holy crap!" appearances on children's programs, game shows, sitcoms, and the like. Check out the videos below!
John Kerry on Cheers
In 1992, John Kerry was a moderately unrecognizable (a fact that is joked about in the below scene from the Cheers episode "Bar Wars VI: This Time It's for Real") Senator of Massachusetts. It wouldn't be until 2004 that he'd endure a run for the United States presidency.
Jimmy Carter on What's My Line?
A game show many of us are either too young to remember or haven't thought about in years, it's no less funny to see Georgia Governor Jimmy Carter, who'd become the U.S. president only three years later, make a 1973 appearance on What's My Line?. And look! Gene Shalit!
Ralph Nader on Sesame Street
Here's a win for all you free-thinkin' Green voters who've opted time and time again for the election of the great Ralph Nader: watch this clip from a 1988 episode of Sesame Street, featuring then, and future presidential hopeful, Consumer Advocate Nader.
Al Gore on 30 Rock
Okay, this one isn't exactly a throwback, but as avid 30 Rock, we'd be remiss to exclude former Vice President Al Gore's appearance on the 2007 episode "Greenzo."
And the tour de force: Bill Clinton on Arsenio
[Photo Credit: Carrie Devorah/Wenn]
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Game show for children that explores historical themes as well as geography education. Contestants, called Time Pilots, are recruited to retrieve significant historical artifacts stolen by Carmen Sandiego and one of her crooks -- Baron Wasteland, Dr. Belljar, Jacqueline-Hyde, Medeva or Sir Vile. The Time Pilots' mission is to use logic, judgment and their knowledge of history to pursue Carmen and one of her gang through the first two segments of the game, recover the stolen historical item, restore it to its proper place in time and put history back on track. The high scorer then gets a chance to capture Carmen and her crook on the Trail of Time.
Second season introduces side trips into a parallel universe and a new nemesis, racketeer Buggs Zapper.