Matthew McConaughey may just be having the best year ever. After years of playing the pretty boy, he has officially crossed over into a world filled with powerful indie roles and Oscar buzz. With starring roles and critical acclaim for performances in films like The Paperboy and Dallas Buyers Club, the actor has finally, as they say, arrived. We can even look forward to his upcoming role in the new Chris Nolan film Interstellar, which recently started filming. But he's not stopping here folks. Matthew McConaughey is dabbling in a new genre and it may or may not surprise you at all. In an interview with GQ Magazine, the actor revealed that he’s been writing raps recently. Get ready world. Get. Ready.
Now the good news is that McConaughey did not refer to himself as a rapper, nor did he make any big proclamations about leaving Hollywood behind for the rap world (hi Joaquin Phoenix). Instead, he simply explained that he’s got a collection of rhymes on his laptop, one of which goes a little something like this: "Rollin' through yellow lights on my skateboard/Kiss the fire and walk away whistlin'."
You heard it here first folks. And this only furthermore proves that pretty much everyone, everywhere secretly wants to be a rapper.
Yep, you read that headline correctly. Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, the latest film from the MTV pranking crew, is coming out later this month and if you're watching the credits closely, you'll see filmmaker Spike Jonze credited as a producer and writer. In a new interview with Vulture, Jonze admits he "wasn't a film kid," and cites films like Fargo from the early 1990s as the first time he'd really seen a modern classic balance the complex tones and themes that he could relate to. And this passion didn't really kick in until after he had already made his first, fantastic film and been nominated for an Oscar. But this isn't a bait-and-switch — indie fans can see the sci-fi romance Her on December 18 (or, if they can score a NY Film Festival ticket, this weekend). That film promises the ethereal, dreamy experience of Where the Wild Things Are with the romantic confusion of Being John Malkovich. And probably a little something from Adaptation. But for the time being, Bad Grandpa it is!
Jonze has been with the Jackass crew from the beginning, writing and producing the show on MTV while he was still a music video director and skateboarder. Those parts of him haven't gone away, but they've certainly faded when compared to his short but incredibly prolific film career. But when an artist moves between media — most commonly TV to film — we can sometimes make incorrect assumptions about how much they value each one. Jonze still loves to collaborate with Knoxville, Bam Margera, et al, and still helps write their films and occasionally appears in a few stunts (though he's not one to risk extreme bodily harm). A few years ago, he even made a behind-the-scenes mini-documentary about the production of one of their films.
In fact, Jonze has always been torn between the world sof so-called high art and MTV-style pure entertainment. He was married to fellow indie darling Sofia Coppola for four years, and may or may not be immortalized as Giovanni Ribisi in Lost in Translation (though both say he's not, it's kind of a fun theory). Conversely, he also owns part of an alternative media company and a skateboard company, and both are doing well, set to produce the very first "YouTube Awards" soon. And converse to even that, he's a well-dressed perfectionist who manages his film shoots from inches behind the camera. Jonze's love of crude, anarchic pranks is just as far from his personality as the delicate sensibilites of his films. If anything, his devotion to maintaining all these aspects of his career is great news, because it means that we'll be getting a Spike Jonze film only when Spike Jonze has a good idea for one. And if we're hankering for Spike Jonze ideas in the form of TV series, short films, books, plays, and postcards... we'll be seeing those come to light as well.
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Dean Norris may glower and sulk as Hank Schrader on Breaking Bad most of the time these days. But the dude really has a sense of humor. In a new video for Funny Or Die, Norris decides to dispense with all the annoying requests for spoilers about how the show will unfold and just tell us the ending. Apparently, he himself has written the final episode, and it involves a hot blonde who wants to have sex 500 times, a talking skateboard, a trip to Mars, and Walt (now played by Norris) calling Hank "the best cop there ever is...and the strongest one too." Oh, and Hank has hair!
Funny Or Die
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The Walking Dead does a pretty good job of convincing us that if a zombie apocalypse were to befall humanity, this is what it would look like. But there are a few elements that bring those of us who are just a little too detail oriented out of the drama and into our own heads. Questions like, "Why doesn't it ever rain?" and "Where are all the cats?" plague us (okay, maybe the cats thing only plagues some of us), so we took it upon ourselves to fact check some of these complaints. Just how realistic is The Walking Dead?
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1. Why Doesn't It Ever Rain on The Walking Dead? It rained once on the AMC series, in Atlanta when Rick and Glenn were wearing white lab coats covered in zombie guts in an attempt to blend in. Since then, it's been literal clear skies for the crew, but why?
Does It Even Rain That Much In Georgia? Yes. The Atlanta area gets an average of 3-5 inches of rain a month, and that includes the sweltering summer months during which the majority of The Walking Dead takes place. So while it's not exactly Seattle, a storm here or there wouldn't be uncommon... unless the zombie apocalypse has also brought on a drought. But in that case, wouldn't our characters be consistently thirsty and withering away from the lack of water? (There sure as hell isn't running water in that prison.)
Well, they probably just wouldn't go out if it's raining, right? Sure, but how often do those of us with the power of smartphones with hour-to-hour weather widgets get caught in the rain? All the time. If this was real Georgia, Rick and co. would have run into rain on the road at least once or twice (but at least they don't have the "but I just bought these new suede shoes!" problem).
So why no rain? The most likely reason: production costs. It's pretty difficult to shoot a scene in rain that's not being produced by some form of TV magic (really heavy duty sprinklers), but that is a pretty expensive trick for something that isn't a part of the plot. We want realism, but it's probably not worth bankrupting the show for a little rainstorm.
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2. Why Aren't There Any Cats or Dogs? Surely Owners Would Rescue Their Pets, Right? The animals on this show are few and far between. Other than the occasional rat in a cage on a skateboard or the bird Daryl killed in the season premiere, actual animals are rare on this show, especially considering what wilderness the characters live in.
Where are all the trusty, super helpful dogs? Well, dogs share a bit of the same problem as babies: They are noisy alarms just begging for swarms of zombies at any moment. Intruder? Barking. Friend and visitor? Barking. Weird phantom ghost presence unbeknownst to any one else? Barking. Dogs may as well be ringing the dinner bell, and in most cases they and their owners are probably the main course.
What About Cats? There really should be more cats. They're quiet and stealthy. Have you ever tried to catch a running cat? It's almost impossible. And when they are tested some cats prove to be more resilient than rats, just take the kitten who survived for 26 days without food or water in a shipping crate. There's probably not a lot for them to eat, but there'd likely be a handful of super-cats running around out there. Plus, I'm pretty sure even a zombie would be freaked out by that hissing thing they do.
There should be rats EVERYWHERE. Rats actually survived while living in a nuclear testing site in the South Pacific. They can be flushed down a toilet and come out feeling A-OK. They can bite through metal, scale buildings, jump two (and sometimes three) feet in the air, squish their skeletons down to the size of a quarter in small spaces, and go 14 days without food. When it is time to eat, they will eat anything — including leather, seeds, insects, fur, and each other. The only animal that can last longer without water than a rat is a camel. Where the hell are all the rats on The Walking Dead? They should be outsurviving the survivors.
Again, this is probably as issue of production costs: why throw an animal into a scene if it's not part of the story?
3. How Does the Governor Still Have Whiskey? He's the only one with a whiskey supply and he's constantly drinking it. Does he have an old timey distillery behind all those zombie heads in jars?
Seriously, the guy lost his eyeball and his zombie daughter the same day. If any other normal human had their eyeball ripped from their face, that whiskey would have been gone in a weekend. But then again, a villain is a lot more sinister when he's also hoarding all the booze.
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4. How Do the Survivors Always Have Enough Gas to Drive Around? Rick's crew and the Governor's rambunctious set are always driving around in huge trucks and gaz-guzzling old sedans. Where are they getting all this fuel?
Abandoned gas stations? Not likely. While there are 5,110 gas stations in Georgia, I was unable to find any evidence of gas stations still using the old timey style of gas pump. Most modern gas pumps cannot be operated by hand when the electricity goes out. After all, if that were true, desperate people would be cutting the power and stealing gas all over the country. (Four dollars a gallon?! Hell no.) And even if they were able to crack their way into the tank underneath a gas station, that would be such an undertaking, it would merit a plot-point. They're not looting old gas stations.
More likely: siphoning gas from abandoned cars. This is more likely how they operate; after all, we've seen them do this before on the series. But their usage seems far beyond what the spoils of a few lucky abandoned car looting sessions could fuel. (Except for Daryl, whose motorcycle likely gets around 60 mpg.) If they're smart, they seek out abandoned cars on foot as often as possible, so as not to waste gas. But they aren't the only ones seeking fuel, many cars are probably abandoned because they have no gas, the survivors could likely only carry a gallon or two each (thar be zombies about), and at this point in time, they've likely used up all their walking distance car-fountains. Bottom line: they can find gas, but it is a very, very precious commodity.
But how much ground do they really cover? For this, we have to approximate because Rick's hometown in King County is not a real place and the prison used for shooting episodes is located fairly close to the actual Georgia town of Woodbury, so those are the markers we'll be using. Because these cars are probably going without regular oil changes and checkups, we can assume their gas mileage is pretty low, and since most of them are big, older trucks, we're looking at about 20 or so mpg. Atlanta to the Woodbury area is about 45 miles, which comes out to about 2.5 gallons of gas. Woodbury to Zebulon, the town in which Rick's prison is located, is about 19 miles, which comes out to about one gallon there and one gallon back. Add in all those trips to neighboring towns for supplies, and in rural counties like Woodbury's Meriweather County 20 miles between towns is common, and we're looking at two gallons of gas every time they leave home base.
Bottom line: They are either very lucky in their searches for gasoline, the prison has a secret stash we don't know about, or this aspect of the show is wildly unrealistic.
5. When Zombies Eat, Where Does All That Man Meat Go? Do they just vomit? Or do they just fill their rotting bodies until they burst? Why hasn't this question ever been addressed? We've watched zombies go to town on horses and fallen survivors, but there are never any consequences. What gives?
Fact: zombies are slowly rotting away, so how can they possibly eat without something rupturing? If you are rotting, your stomach, esophagus, intestines, and other organs are slowly wasting away. If you stretch them, they're going to burst, and that's assuming the zombie's body is still funtioning well enough to send it there. So by that logic, zombies should be rupturing at their sides constantly or just letting the blood and guts come right back out of their mouths. Whatever the truth, things would be a lot messier. (Yes, I am actually condoning more disgusting zombies on this show.)
6. Why Is Andrea's Hair So Perfect? Seriously, it's always perfectly touselled and shiny. Where are the zombie guts and dirt particles?
She lives in Woodbury now, maybe those hot showers also come with fancy water filters. But there's definitely some product and possibly a curling iron involved in that 'do. Maybe the Governor also stocked up on hair products? And we haven't seen the curling iron, but they do have that whole solar power thing going on.
Still, girl, why are you wasting time curling your hair? There's this little thing called Your Boyfriend Wants to Kill Everyone.
What unrealistic bits bother you on The Walking Dead? Leave 'em in the comments.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: Frank Ockenfels/AMC]
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Hi. Pretty Little Liars is back.
I was a littler overzealous about the post-Halloween special, simply because I forgot that I wouldn’t get to watch my girls for 12 weeks and instead had to wait another 87 months for their legitimate return. BUT. NOW. THE LIARS ARE BACK FOREVER!!! Or, umm, at least for the next 12 weeks. Do you all remember when the first half of Season 3 aired? Emily was an alcoholic! Everyone had weird haircuts! I feel like we’ve progressed so much, and it hasn’t even been a full year. How are these people still in high school?
We’re dealing with the aftermath of the Halloween episode, where people died on a Halloween ghost train instead of just watching Alison wander around a haunted house in a vaguely Gaga-Ke$ha-Sharon Needles costume she forced reanimated china dolls sew together for her. We definitely have jumped a little since the actual night of the Halloween train, because a lot is happening.
Mainly, Hanna’s grandmother has moved in. Porn Star Mom is completely missing in action. Actually, everyone’s mom is missing in action — did they go on a spa weekend together or something?
Hanna and her gram give absolutely no explanation for the disappearance of mother. It is entirely possible that Porn Star Mom is filming porn in the porn district of Rosewood, Penn. If we’re looking at the big picture of Rosewood, that wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen.
The episode opens with a hooded skateboard punk rolling through the streets, and I’m worried for a second that I’m watching some of crazy MTV skateboarding reality show. Okay, this is really bad night skateboarding. Like, bad for MTV reality show.
What was the name of the guy from the original Laguna Beach who was always on his long board? Trey? Troy? TOBY? Regardless, Mona is suddenly sneaking into Hanna’s room in the middle of the night. Hanna’s hair looks incredibly good for being startled awake at 3am, and I couldn’t be happier that Hanna is the first Liar we meet this “season.”
Mona wants help from Hanna — she’s been released from the local mental institution, and Mona’s parents have demanded that she return to Rosewood. Mona is a mess!
I don’t like demure helpless little Mona, mainly because Mona is at her best when she was manipulating everyone and designing her own hoodies for her birthday slumber party.
Hanna says that Mona spent the last two years majoring in torture; this is almost true, but it is also impossible to pick your major in high school. Mona knows what’s good, though — she has new meds, so she’s fine! Great!
I want Mona to run a prescription drug ring at Rosewood High and take over the world. Hanna clearly isn’t convinced by Mona’s newfound sanity/innocence, but Hanna will always care about her old bestie. Hanna’s amazing, mentally insane grandmother with the vague Southern accent breaks up the midnight meeting by screaming at Hanna through the door. Good work.
Back to the night boarder: Toby is chasing the skateboard punk in a large SUV, but Toby can’t catch up with him. What is happening? It’s the middle of the night, so I don’t understand why there is so much action.
It seems that this is a Sunday night? Slow down. Drop the crazy. Stop murdering people. I think we’re meant to believe that Mona is the skateboarder, but that obviously is not the case. We shall see.
I can’t stop smiling! I love this show! DRAMA! Emily’s father has returned from Arizona/Vietnam/Space, and of course he’s wearing a shirt that says ARMY across the chest. Of course! Dad is also installing a 24/7-alarm system on the house, which is just an elaborate way of Emily’s parents saying that her lesbian girlfriend can’t climb through the window for late night lesbian action. Okay, it’s more protection from fake cousins that try to murder you inside a lighthouse, but still. Emily is forbidden from participating in the big school run, even though Emily raised $274 in pledges.
Yes, Emily, that’s a lot of money. I understand your pain. Big money, no whammies.
Spencer and Aria complain about how Emily is on severe military lockdown, and they’re both wearing pretty aggressive glamsquad outfits for a local coffee run. Spencer wins best hair of the episode, only because judging from sneaks to later this season, Spencer’s hair gets pretty… rough, to say the least.
Also, if this is a pre-school coffee run — AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (in the words of sweet Sweet Brown). Spencer and Aria would have to wake up at 4am to look THAT good and have THAT much time to grab coffee before school. Aria is giving hardcore accessory overload, and it’s a good thing Ezra buys her a piece of jewelry later in the episode; all Aria needs is another bracelet-earrings-necklace trio before she sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Aria always makes dumb coffee. Her coffee looks really bad. Spencer’s coffee looks fantastic, and Spencer says a lot of smart things. Everything is normal.
Jenna was unfortunately missing from this entire episode (since she inexplicably switched schools… oh, wait, maybe she switched schools because everyone loved making fun of the manic blind bitch).
However, Jenna’s absence is barely noticed whenever Hanna’s Grandmother enters. Did this woman fall from God’s wondrous hands into our undeserving laps? I sure hope so.
Grandma tells a story about Cousin Heshie, where Heshie tried to feed nails to his parents as cereal. Grandma loves telling stories about the ancestors! Anyway, Hanna is going to her grandmother to see if Mona has changed/can be let back in. Grandma clearly things Mona should be a friend again, seeing Heshie’s change of brain, but I also think Grandma is way off her rocker.
Remember when Hanna blacked out in the girl’s bathroom at her father’s wedding reception? And Grandma picked Hanna up from the airport? What an amazing episode.
We now reach our great bullying sub-plot, because every show with a lead actor in high school is contractually obligated to show something about bullying. Those TV writers sure are ingenious.
Mona 2.0 is a sad little puppy, waiting on the steps of the high school while people call her weird names. They say awful bully catchphrases like, “You shouldn’t be here.” That’s a serious threat!
We get a nice shot of Aria’s butt as she climbs the stairs to the school and makes janky eye contact with Aria, but that’s about it. Inside the actual school, Jody from Center Stage is teaching for Mrs. Hoobalajooli is on maternity leave. Aria asks someone to “please stick a fork in my neck.” Let’s do it!
In class, Aria is blatantly texting in front of the teacher, and Meredith takes Aria’s phone away from here. Taking Aria’s phone is literally the worst idea in the history of modern teenager — only the worst teacher actually took phones away during class, and a substitute would 100 percent never put herself under that kind of scrutiny. Especially on day one.
The Liars have a mini-Mexican standoff with Meredith/Jody after class. I get that Jody’s career as a dancer faltered when she became too old and injured her knees, so she changed her name to Meredith and started sleeping with Aria’s father, but she shouldn’t take her anger at youth out on the four baddest bitches in town. Sorry not sorry.
Someone put a cow brain in Mona’s locker, with the note: “TAKES ONE MAD COW TO KNOW ANOTHER.” I don’t understand why a high school bio lab would have cow brains instead of just the standard cow eyeball.
My favorite part of this scene is a very terrified girl taking a video of the entire ordeal on her iPhone. PLL is so hip. On the flip, Emily is literally so stupid. I can’t even talk about how stupid she is because it makes me feel more stupid and then I start to sink to her level.
Something weird is going on between Mona and Lucas; smart Hanna picks up on the connection.
There’s this weird thing throughout the episode where “Mona” tweets in the bottom corner of the screen, making a wonky acrostic. It looks like you can go online and watch more of Mona’s pity-party “I’m being bullied” video that she posts on Facebook during the episode, but you had to watch The Lying Game for all of the clues and I would never do that to myself. Even to help all of you.
Boyfriend life: Caleb is lurking around, and Hanna wants Caleb to grill Lucas on his limp; someone was stabbed in the leg by a screwdriver on the Halloween train, and Hanna’s main suspect is clearly Lucas.
I doubt Lucas would just downright confess his attempt to help murder Aria, but maybe that’s just me. Toby likes to go on runs with Spencer, take his shirt off, and get in hot tubs with his girlfriend after taking his shirt off post-run. Character progression!
I don’t want Spencer to be hurt by her current boyfriend. I wanted her to get with Jason instead, but it seems Jason is also a creepy asshole. Oh well.
Emily spots the man that worked the front desk at the Lost Woods Resort as… THE NEW ROSEWOOD JANITOR!!! That’s scary as all hell. His name is Harold, but we might as well call him Norman Bates (even though I used to have a crush on Anthony Perkins and I would never have a crush on this fool). Hanna thinks, “Maybe creepy Harold has a creepy twin.”
No, Hanna NO. Creepy Harold has a bunch of Mona’s stuff in his haunted basement office. Horrifying. My cat’s name is Harold, so I don’t like this sub-plot very much.
Hanna watches Mona’s Facebook bullying video 147 times in one day. Spencer talks about Mona having a resume for her crazy, which I believe is jargon that this show has used before (still not complaining).
Caleb finds out that Mona lied – she BEGGED to get back into Rosewood, while her parents wanted her in a different program. Hanna’s grandmother sings the National Anthem at the big school run, and she’s almost as good as the famed Whitney Houston performance. Almost. Hanna proclaims that Gram is singing, “Because she can.” TRUTH. Like, why do I love Hanna so much?
Every she says is pure gold. The Liars ditch the run (as any smart high schooler would naturally do), only to sneak into Creepy Janitor’s office; Harold is writing a letter to Mona in Alison’s old journal, which is very bad in very real world pedo-creepy way.
From the journal, we flip to a nice flashback: Aria has been coping the entire episode with the thought that Byron, her father, was the last person to see Alison alive. Did Byron kill Ali? What was their relationship?
Aria has been using sneaky passive-aggressive Carrie Mathison interrogation techniques on her father, but to no avail. Byron shows his violent side. Flashback Alison is blackmailing Byron.
Flashback Alison is making weird innuendos about wiping feet on people. Unless I misheard. I always mishear.
The girls escape the clutches of Creepy Harold, only to jump from the frying pan into the fire. I think that’s the right saying. Maybe it’s flipped. I’m talking about a literal fire here.
The swag bag post-run tent is on fire, and someone is screaming. I was hoping that Mona would just die already in this rightful blaze of glory, but it seems Jody/Meredith was burned in the “accident.”
Mona clearly set the fire. Jody/Meredith will clearly be far too burned to ever dance again. Is Jody/Meredith the new Jenna?
Byron (what an awful name, I can’t ignore it any longer) interrogates Aria about trying to hurt Meredith. These parents are literally the worst — they are always yelling at their daughters while their daughters are dealing with secret babies and down-low murderers!
“These kind of secrets come back to haunt us, “ growls Byron. “WHAT ABOUT YOURS,” screams back Aria. You go, girl. Aria then politely asks her father to close her bedroom door. I don’t like creepy parents, that sort of thing just gives me a lot of weird terrors.
Spencer stops by Jason’s house to talk about Mona, while Jason relaxes on his porch with his unbuttoned shirt and his loud bug zapper.
As soon as Spencer walks off, Mona appears from the shadows… and helps Jason treat his wound. His wound that looks an awful lot like the infected puncture hole from a dirty screwdriver on a Halloween ghost train that featured Adam Lambert as the musical guest. OMG.
More importantly, Mona is a vampire that likes to wear red heart sweaters. She was definitely hanging up in bat form by the bug zapper. Just wait for that reveal.
Black-hooded maybe-A, probably the skateboard, is shown in the post-episode clue stealing bike parts from a fat kid’s bike at night. That’s just really rude. Speaking of rude, my rude friend changed the channel to New Girl aka The Zooey Deschanel Show before I could see scenes from next episode, so I can’t even get a brief hair preview for next Tuesday night. Unforgivable, I say.
I hope Emily gets murdered this season. She annoyed me tonight, and I would enjoy a shocking Liar death. I hope PLL does an episode this season where Spencer gets swine flu and has a fever dream that she’s in Dirty Dancing with Jason. I hope all these parents work out their Xanax prescriptions.
I hope the moms return soon. I hope Emily gets back to work at the hippest coffee shop in town. I hope a new coffee shop opens up to rival Emily’s workplace. I hope Emily gets drunk again.
Maybe I don’t hate Emily as much as I thought. I hope this portion of Pretty Little Liar’s outrageously successful third season is the best thing ever shown on television. I have a feeling this show will still be airing new episodes when I am 87. Forever and ever, amen.
Bonus: Here’s a video of Hanna/Ashley Benson wearing a cheap wig and dancing while James Franco lip-synchs to Bieber’s “Boyfriend.”
[Image Credit: Eric McCandless/ABC Family (2)]
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Remember commercials? Those were those little 30-second movies you used to watch during your favorite TV shows. You know, the ones you see ever year during the Super Bowl. Yeah, those! Most people don't remember. These days most people only see commercials as sped-up jumbles as you fast forward your DVR, or as the things you put on mute that play every few minutes while you check your Gmail when watching a show on the Internet. The problem is commercials are still what pays for all those shows that you devote so much time tweeting, Facebooking, and iChatting about.
So, if everyone is ignoring the commercials but they're still funding the creative products we're all interested in, then how is TV going to make money and how are advertisers going to make ads that we finally pay attention to? It's probably going to look exactly like The Gift of Revenge. For those who watched last night's episode of ABC's hit "down with the 1%" melodrama Revenge know exactly what I'm talking about. There was a series of ads featuring the secondary characters of the show (apparently Madeleine Stowe was not interested) getting gifts from a mysterious person and being told to go to an address at midnight. After each commercial there was a "To be continued..." and the story picked up again at the next commercial break.
At the end we find out that Jack, Declan, Charlotte, and Fake Amanda are all invited to a big party held by Nolan where a band plays and they all party. Yeah, it was kind of silly and cheesy, as all commercials tend to be, but I also watched every one. Those are the first commercials I've seen since the second Bush administration. Damn you Target and Neiman Marcus! Yes, the commercials were for a collaboration between the two stores, in which they're selling Christmas gifts by a host of different fashion designers. It's the names you see at Neiman Marcus with the price tags you see at Target. Most of that I learned from their website. From the commercials I just sort of gleaned that they have a lot of good stuff and, apparently, Neiman Marcus and Target are now masquerading as each other like real Amanda Clark and fake Emily Thorne.
But I got that far, which is much more than I can say for most commercials. This is a trend that we've been seeing more and more on television lately. There were the Ford music videos by the Glee cast and Real Housewives stars on Bravo shilling for a bunch of different products, including Secret deodorant. What is appealing for advertisers is that these commercials are DVR proof. As you're zipping past everyone else's spots, you stop on these commercials because you see your favorite characters and think the show is back. Yes, it gets you to watch. But sometimes the disappointment of being duped is enough to offset any gain.
Last night's episode of Revenge didn't stop with the commercials though. The "Gift of Revenge" concept was also quietly integrated into the episode. Amanda (the real Amanda) was wearing the same shoes in the episode as the woman handing out the gifts in the commercial, one of which you can watch below but I don't get paid by Target or Neiman's so you can find the rest on your own. We also saw Amanda giving Victoria a literal gift, a better-late-than-never token for her wedding. Since we never see her opening, it's the giving that seems more important than what's in the box. Also, the screen featured a #GiftOfRevenge hashtag emblazoned in the lower left corner for most of the episode, replacing the usual discreet #Revenge.
Yes, people, this is the future of advertising. Since we all decided that we would do just about anything in our power to skip the commercials (I know you pause your favorite drama for 15 minutes so that you can then fly through the sponsored parts), the commercials are getting more and more up in our faces. This isn't the product placement we're used to. It's more aggressive. It's turning the show into a way to sell products and using the people in the show as shills. Pretty soon, it's all just going to be one gobbledy-gook of people who both entertain us and make sure that we're following all their lifestyle decisions and buying the same junk as they are. You'll be able to hold your iPhone up in front of the TV and point it at an outfit and have it arrive at your door in 4-6 business days with free shipping.
OK, that future is about as distant as the hovering skateboard from Back to the Future II (sorry, already having the technology to make that happen is an urban legend), but I have to commend the Gift of Revenge. The spots were interesting, looked incredibly expensive, and did their job – which was to get me to watch. Am I going to go to Target and buy any of those things? Probably not. But if anyone wants to get me Declan's Thom Browne blazer, it would certainly make my Christmas. And if this is what the future looks like, it's not going to be the worst place to live.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
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What a night! The 2012 MTV Video Music Awards packed in just about all the excitement that two hours of television could handle. First, Rihanna kicked off the night with a fiery performance in a hot red jumpsuit. Next, host Kevin Hart took the stage to rattle off joke after joke, poking fun at Snooki's baby and Kristen Stewart's cheating scandal. Later on, Taylor Swift put on another unforgettable (though we wish we could wipe it from our minds) off-key performance. Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner even stopped by to introduce the new trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1, which premiered during the last 30 minutes of the show. But what about the moments that were missed? Don't worry, we've got you covered.
These are those crazy little things that you might have missed during the energized and entertaining night:
Rihanna's Embarrassing Kicks
Nicki Minaj Gives Lil Wayne the Side-Eye
2 Chainz Falls Off His Skateboard
Kevin Hart Jumps Off the Stage
Katy Perry and Rihanna Are Best Friends?
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: WENN, Getty Images, AP Images]
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It's been a long, teary-eyed, awkward trip to love for Emily Maynard, but at last, we know who the man is for her. And no one is really surprised here, right? I mean if this has been a few weeks into the season and you told me that (SPOILER ALERT) Jef With One F was the dude she'd end up with, I would've thrown his skateboard at you and laughed and laughed and laughed. Barbie Emily with Wannabe-hipster Jef With One F? Ha! You slay me, ye fools! Because obviously her one true reality love was Arie! But It's not May, it's July and Jef With One F is the only be-pompadoured dude for her.
The show's set-up is super bizarre this go around, as the "After the Rose" special will be preceding the episode, live. So, we have Chris Harrison workin' overtime this week with random interjections from his life studio audience in Los Angeles bookending commercial breaks.
So let's get right to it, America! According to television scientists and Chris Harrisons everywhere, this very finale is apparently the most anticipated television event of the summer you guys! And what better way to start off the television event of the summer than with two terrible meeting-of-the-parent segments? Yeah? OK! Both of the dudes met Emily's parents, her brother, and future sister-in-law. First up was Jef, and everyone seemed well and smitten with Jef's soft-spoken charm. And then it was Arie's turn! And guess what...everyone likes him, too! Though some more than others: Suzy (Emily's mom) thought he was going to be kind of a d-bag, but Ernie (Emily's brother) had such a boner for Arie it was hilarious. You KNOW after it was all over he sheepishly asked Emily if he and Arie could like, hang out or whatever. Hashtag BROMANCE, amirite?!
Both of the dudes ask for--and get--permission from Emily's dad to ask for her hand in marriage. Which is a nice thing. And though Emily is mad that her family won't give her a straight answer as to who they like better (they're both just so great! But different! Hey Emily, can Arie take us to some races?! Be quiet, Ernie!), her dad believes that you cannot love two people at once--though Emily disagrees. She does say that she loves them both in different ways, which, duh: with Jef it's all cupcakes and puppies and with Arie it's all bedknobs and broomsticks (and I mean that as a total euphemism).
The next day is her day-long date with Jef. He gives Emily a book about Curacao! And he drew a bunch of stick figures of them together on some of the pages! Jef With One F is so twee he could probably beat Zooey Deschanel in a Quirky Cute-Off. In a totally surprising moment, Emily decides that Jef should meet Ricki after all. Now if that didn't solidify for everyone that she was picking Jef, I don't know what would've. Homegirl knew that Jef was the dude for her and she wasn't going to introduce Ricki to anyone she wasn't totally sure she was going to have in her life for the long-term.
So the next day comes the moment that I TOTALLY CALLED in last week's recap, you guys! (Now who's going to send me those Samoas, America?) Emily loves Jef, and knows that Arie's time is up. But! She just doesn't know how to talk to Arie about all this. She cries! A lot! The mention of Arie's name sends her into an emotional tailspin, since she knows the right thing to do is to send Arie home before the final rose ceremony.
Also can we have a moment for what a weird crier Emily is? She's all like, awkward smiles with a hint of grimance. That flipper of hers is really front-and-center, huh?
So off Emily goes, to meet Arie in what he thinks is going to be his day-long date. He's created a love potion he wants to give her! (Oof; this is like that time Doug kissed Emily when she was breaking up with him.) After about thirty-six seconds of weird banter about the love potion, Arie realizes something is wrong. Not like it was hard, since she was a total snifflebot the second she got out of the car. Homegirl was a geyser this episode, jeez. Anyway, She can't even say it, which really annoys me. She can't even man up enough to tell Arie the words "I've fallen in love with someone else, and that love is more than the love that you and I had." Which, I think, is cowardly. I understand that Emily is a people pleaser, but people need closure, man. Instead, Arie just had to know what you meant through all the tears, which sucks. I'm glad she told him all ahead of time, but she should've, you know, actually said the words rather than just cry and say she was sorry.
Needless to say, Arie is shocked, and gets a bit teary himself. The poor dude is truly heartbroken. Emily tries to console him by saying a bunch of inconsequential things like "I thought it was you from the beginning" and "I always thought it was going to be me and you." Yo, Emily, this doesn't help anything--if anything, you're just making it worse for Arie. You're not softening the blow, you're twisting the knife he's about to fall onto by doing that. Girls of the world: just be honest. Just say what you feel. It sucks in the moment, but ultimately is better for everyone. Don't be scared of saying the words you need to say, y'all. That person deserves your respect and to hear your words. OK, now that my romance advice guide is over, let's go back to the heartbreak hour! When the two hug goodbye, you can hear someone's heart beating very fast--I'm betting it's Arie's. At one point in the car ride confessional, he admits that he feels stupid and naive. Aww, Arie boo, c'mere and let me console the s**t out of you. He really handled that like a gentleman, I think.
So then it's the end! We're at the proposal! We know what's going to happen so it's all very anticlimactic, isn't it? Jef With One F proposes and Emily waits ten seconds before saying 'yes' and Ricki shows up and they stroll along the streets together to the sweet, sweet sounds of Peter Cetera. (Seriously, could the music on this show BE any cheesier? It's like a damn fromagerie up in this show.) They even do the walking in slow-motion!
Then it was onto the live portion of the evening! Emily would have to face Arie, and we'd see the marmoset couple in public for the first time ever! And actually learn a tidbit or two (I know! I was as surprised as you are that we would learn anything new!) Emily came out all googly-eyed happiness about her engagement, but that wouldn't last for too long, as Arie was the first dude to come out and chat with Emily and Chris first. When it came to getting closure on the two of them, Arie said that "watching [the show] really helped" and that "it was good for me" to get that. He stands by the fact that he was "completely taken by surprise." But Arie wasn't without criticism of Emily, explaining that he wished "she could've just said [what she'd said to Chris earlier] to me ... that would've helped." Emily asserted that she was trying to protect him. Which, he is a grown-a** man, Emily. He doesn't need protecting, you know?
Anyway, the juicy bit came next, when Arie revealed to everyone that he was so upset and wanted closure off-camera, so he flew to Charlotte. Homie say what?! And ABC didn't know about it! SCANDAL! TWIST! But, unfortunately for us, he got to Charlotte and realized he had too much respect for Jef, and for Ricki to put Emily in a bad position. "It didn't feel right," he explained. Instead, he left Emily the journal she suggested he keep while on the show, and went home. But! Emily didn't read it, and Arie looks slightly annoyed at first. In the moment, Arie thought he could change things. But did he end up getting closure? Yes, but not from Emily! What?! Well, you see, Jef and Arie actually spoke (the two are admittedly buds) and Jef helped Arie get through his heartbreak. Wow. Anyone else really sort of annoyed that Emily couldn't just nut up and talk to Arie like an adult? Maybe?
Anyway, Emily and Jef are so super in love! And they're going to Africa! Jef is moving to Charlotte! They're getting married in Charleston, SC! Which is perfect, because that means I can have my mom and sister give me all the gossip. Oh and Jef's parents can be there since their "prior church commitments" (aka Mormon Mission!) have them in that area anyway.
The best (worst?) part of the show were all the awkward live-shots (and integrations! did you hear the plugged-in audience laughter during the proposal? So awkward, guys!) were. Those women looked like they just watched their puppies get shot in cold blood in front of them when Arie was sent home. Why so serious, you guys?! Did Chris Harrison actually kill something on stage to get that reaction? Over the top doesn't even begin to cover it. Former Bachelorette Ashley Herbet was also there with her still-engaged manfriend J.P. (glad those kids are really makin' it work), as well as a few other rando has-beens to remind everyone that Bachelor Pad starts tomorrow. Hooray integration!
Overall, it was an interesting season. In the end, Emily was certainly one of the most respectable bachelor/bachelorette contestants on the show: she stuck to her guns, kept her daughter at the forefront of her mind, and always made decisions with Ricki's best interest in mind. And like Jef said before, he's ready for a family and he "can't wait to be a dad and I can't wait to spend time with my kids and have a family."
What do you think about Emily's choice? Do you think Jef and Emily are built to last? Are you happy with this season of The Bachelorette? Have you ever heard of pink gold before? (Seriously, Neil Lane, can you send me a pink gold ring? What's the difference between that and rose gold? Girl's got questions and a love for baubles.) Sound off in the comments!
[Image Credit: ABC]
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
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Watch out, Emma Stone: your boyfriend Andrew Garfield has just admitted he has what is possibly the cutest man-crush of all time, and the object of his affection is Ryan Gosling.
On Friday, Tonight Show host Jay Leno asked the new Spidey to clarify what he meant when he said he had a “proper man crush” on the Drive star. Garfield echoed the thoughts of every woman in America when he said, “He's just a dreamboat. It's undebatable. He's just stunning. Not only physically, but in terms of talent — a general sex appeal that he has.”
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It's been easy to forgot recently — thanks to some interesting fashion and style choices — that Willow Smith is actually a singer, but Sunday night she reminded us just that.
At the 2012 BET Awards, the daughter of Will and Jada and sister to Jaden — with whom she attended the event — unveiled the music video for her latest single "I Am Me," in which she directly addresses her much-buzzed-about sartorial inclinations. "People don't like the way I dress," she sings over a piano strumming.
The clip depicts Smith as she navigates a city — via skateboard — and her own identity, while encouraging others to ignore any and all critics. The song is also a step in a different direction from her infamous "Whip My Hair." It's a much calmer video that allows Willow to show off her vocal talents.
Check it out below!
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