When we heard the premise for ABC’s new comedy Mixology, we were dubious — a show that takes place over the course of one night? Yes, it's been done well before: 24 stretched their seasons out to encompass a whole day, and the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother a weekend. However, Mixology seems like it’s going to be a very long version of Garry Marshall’s two holiday themed romantic comedies: Valentine’s Day and New Years Eve.
That’s not to say we have anything against rom-coms with huge casts of characters — who doesn’t enjoy Love Actually? But one of the great parts of a romantic comedy is watching it all in one sitting. Viewers of Mixology, however, will have to come back week after week in order to find out what happens to the characters.
For this reason, we think Mixology would work better with binge watching. Who hasn’t, at some point in their life, wished a rom-com lasted hours and hours on end? (Okay, maybe not a lot of people — maybe just me.) But many people have had day long marathons of their favorite romantic comedies.
Because of the way Mixology is set up, it would definitely be more enjoyable to watch all in one day, plus it would make for the most epic romcom binge watch experience. Too bad ABC hasn’t caught up to how we like to watch TV.
In December, the Twitter account for ABC’s cancelled show, Happy Endings, began promoting the network’s new comedy series Mixology. The account, formerly @HappyEndingsABC, requested fans to follow the new show’s Twitter as part of a Follow Friday promotion.
It's #FF & we have the perfect show for our #HappyEndings fans that we know you'll love! Follow @MixologyABC to learn more! #FollowFriday
— Happy Endings (@HappyEndingsVH1) December 27, 2013
However, fans of the fallen Happy Endings were not pleased with the social media promotion for another series — especially one that doesn’t look very promising. Sure, someone could argue that Happy Endings and Mixology have something in common. Both shows are about single people trying to find love in a city. However, the entire first season of Mixology is set to take place over the course of one night. Think: Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day but in a television show.
Given the slow trek that has been this season of How I Met Your Mother — which is a slowed down timeline to follow the wedding weekend of Barney and Robin — it’s safe to say TV fans are a little dubious of a whole series pulling this kind of stunt. But we suppose we should give Mixology and chance before we completely knock it (if we have to.) Still, it will never fill the void left by Happy Endings because nothing ever will.
For fans of Happy Endings, there is some good in all this: VH1 has picked up old seasons of the series and will be playing them every Wednesday night on the network. They even had a New Year’s Day marathon — sorry if you missed it!
Glee producers have lost their Sugar to another show. Actress Vanessa Lengies, who plays Sugar Motta, in the song-and-dance series is quitting Glee after landing a regular role on new U.S. sitcom Mixology.
She says, "Getting to play Sugar Motta was one of the biggest opportunities of my life, and I met some of the most fantastic people, but I was being hired per episode. I loved getting to be there and dancing around, but I didn't really have much of an opportunity to act."
Her new show debuts next year (14) and so Lengies is hoping to give her Glee character a proper send-off later this year (13) when the show returns.
She tells TV Guide magazine, "I would love to have them introduce a time machine and reveal that Sugar was a visitor from the future."
Coming this fall to ABC: A bunch of promising-looking new comedies, two excellent-looking dramas based on established properties (Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland), and a couple of duds. Take a look at the first trailers for the network's new programming slate and let us know which shows you're most excited to see next season.
Back in the Game It's simple, really: Bad News Bears: The TV Show. That's not a bad thing.
The Goldbergs ABC does dysfunctional families well, so this '80s comedy will fit right in, especially with its twist — it's based on the real-life home movies of creator Adam Goldberg's actual family. Plus, there's REO Speedwagon and Patton Oswalt as narrator.
Trophy Wife This one depends entirely on the lovable charm of Malin Akerman. Good thing she's got plenty to go around as Bradley Whitford's third wife who's trying to win over his family. Like a funny Stepmom (minus the cancer).
Super Fun Night Rebel Wilson's American accent is terrible. Wait, there's other stuff going on too?
Betrayal You can tell everything about this show from the Florence and the Machine song in the trailer: melodrama, infidelity, pretty people. It looks like a 13-episode Lifetime movie.
Lucky 7 A cast of diverse mostly unknowns headline this drama, about a group of Queens friends who win a serious lottery jackpot. Its tone seems less overtly serious than it could've been, but there's plenty of drama to milk from the premise.
Resurrection The premise is incredibly intriguing: A little boy returns to his parents 32 years after his death. Definitely worth a look.
Mind Games Kyle Killen's other high-concept dramas haven't lasted on other networks. But this one — about two mismatched brothers who start a business as psychological consultants who use their unique skills to change people's minds — looks just quirky and accessible enough to work.
Mixology It's like the opening of a romantic comedy where strangers have one night stands, except the entire first season takes place in the bar before they go home together. (It actually looks really funny.)
Killer Women Cylon No. 6 is back! And she's still kicking ass, this time with a Texas drawl.
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In the most inevitable move this TV pilot season, ABC announced Friday that it has officially picked up Joss Whedon's sure-to-be-amazing new TV show about the Marvel universe's super-agents, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., along with several other new series.
The annoyingly punctuated S.H.I.E.L.D. follows Clark Gregg as Agent Phil Coulson (reprising his movie role) as, according to the show's official description, " assembles a small, highly select group of Agents from the worldwide law-enforcement organization known as S.H.I.E.L.D. Together they investigate the new, the strange, and the unknown across the globe, protecting the ordinary from the extraordinary."
On the comedy side, Rebel Wilson's Super Fun Night is a go, starring the comedy breakout as a nerdy lawyer who, along with her two equally nerdy girlfriends, decides to branch out and start having more fun instead of their typical Friday nights in. The network also picked up the dysfunctional family comedy The Goldbergs, set in the '80s and based on creator Adam Goldberg's real life, Back in the Game, starring Maggie Lawson as a single mom whose former baseball player dad (James Caan) moves in with her, Mixology, and the Malin Akerman-starring Trophy Wife.
As for dramas, the network has ordered Lucky 7, about a group of people who win a lottery jackpot, Betrayal, about a female photographer who has an affair with the man her prosecutor husband is fighting in court, spinoff Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Resurrection, Killer Women, and Mind Games.
Which of ABC's new shows sound the most promising?
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Yesterday’s news that Disney has decided to shutter LucasArts, the videogame company overseen by Lucasfilm that’s produced nearly three decades worth of Star Wars and Indiana Jones games, not to mention the Monkey Island saga, gave us a full-blown nostalgia attack. Disney seems so determined to put all their effort into the production of Episode VII that they’re shutting down much of non-Episode VII Star Wars content, including the Clone Wars TV series and games like Star Wars 1313 that were in the pipeline for future release. Eric Geller, one Star Wars fan who helps run TheForce.Net speaks for many of us by saying, “They seem to think they need a dearth of other SW content to get us excited for the sequels. Have they met us?”
For kids growing up in the ‘90s, LucasArts’ games were the only way to extend the experience of Star Wars beyond endlessly replaying VHS copies of the Original Trilogy. At least, until we were old enough to start reading the Expanded Universe novels. Whether geared for the computer, NES, or N64, these games helped us fall even deeper in love with that Galaxy Far, Far Away. The batting average of these Star Wars games was really formidable, with the X-Wing and Dark Forces series, in particular, being consistently strong. Admittedly, in recent years, the quality of LucasArts’ output has waned. For all the hype, 2008’s The Force Unleashed doesn’t offer gameplay mechanics or storytelling anywhere near as satisfying as that found in Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast, released six years earlier. But we still played.
RELATED: Disney Closing LucasArts, Future of ‘Star Wars’ Videogames in Question
So, to honor LucasArts’ formidable legacy, movies editor Matt Patches, staff writer Michael Arbeiter, and myself, geek writer Christian Blauvelt, put together our picks for the 10 Best Star Wars Games Ever. Oh yes, and the 5 Worst — nobody's perfect!
10. Episode I—Racer (1999)
This is the Rodney Dangerfield of Star Wars games. A lot of fans think it’s terrible without even having played it. But Racer transforms the best sequence in The Phantom Menace into kinetic art, taking you to wholly alien environments like the sulfuric planet Malastare, ocean world Aquilaris, and airless vacuum planet Oovo IV. No, it doesn’t have a story or any depth to its characters—though you do get to play as all the weird alien podracers you glimpse during the Boonta Eve Classic in the movie—but Racer isn’t trying to be “cinematic” like so many games today (games, which, as a result, are often too easy when it comes to actual gameplay). Racer is a souped-up arcade actioner. It capitalizes on your reflexes and muscle memory rather than your higher cognitive functions. But that also means that, like many of the arcade classics, it’s a lot more difficult, and thus a lot more replayable than games with supposedly loftier ambitions. And it has Watto saying stuff like “Ohhhh….You want buy pit droid, eh?” How could you not love that? — Christian Blauvelt
9. Shadows of the Empire (1996)
Lucasfilm’s idea of creating a multimedia “interquel,” a story that explores what Luke and Leia did in between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, took various forms: a novel written by Steve Perry that focused primarily on the movie characters, a graphic-novel tie-in, and a Nintendo 64 game that cut out Luke and Leia entirely to focus on gun-for-hire Dash Rendar, the scruffiest nerfherder in the galaxy not named Han Solo. As Dash, you follow the breadcrumbs from planet to planet to find out where Solo, frozen in carbonite, has been taken, so you can attempt a rescue. Along the way, you encounter droid bounty hunter IG-88, Boba Fett, and a giant dianoga—the tentacle garbage compactor creature from A New Hope! — Christian Blauvelt
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8. Yoda Stories (1997)
You land in the murky waters of Dagobah, your X-Wing pixilated and your R2 unit complete with incomprehensible speech bubbles. And there, you will find your mission of the day: Where will Master Yoda send you this time — Tatooine, Hoth, Endor? Who will you be charged with saving — Han Solo, Princess Leia, C3P0? The Game Boy and PC adventure game sent the player (as Luke) off on multifaceted quests, completing small tasks to aid in the ultimate conquest against baddies like Jabba the Hutt, the Rancor, swarms of Jawas, and even Darth Vader. Combining the joys of platform games and clever puzzles with Star Wars fandom makes Yoda Stories among the best of LucasArts’ contributions. —Michael Arbeiter
7. Dark Forces (1995)
LucasArts did an amazing job creating new characters and designs for their games, and Dark Forces became more than a Doom knock-off thanks to the inclusion of mercenary Kyle Katarn and the revelation of the "Dark Troopers." For a mid-90s, first-person shooter, Dark Forces had unprecedented atmosphere and an array of recognizable weapons finally put in the hands of Star Wars fans. Being able to wield a thermal detonator — only briefly seen in the first trilogy — brought a new dimension to the world we already loved. — Matt Patches
6. Battlefront II (2006)
Upgrading the skirmish style of the original Battlefront, the sequel opened up the format for larger missions, saga-spanning story arcs, space combat, and the ability to play as a Jedi. Sure, putting us in the third-person perspective of a Stormtrooper or Rebel gunman was fun, but dropping Mace Windu in the middle of a battle to slice up battalions of Droidekas and pesky Geonosians was a dream come true. Being able to run over Windu with a Trade Federation tank and send him flying off a cliff bumped Battlefront II up to "classic" territory. And the cherry on top: we loved John Williams' cue "Battle of Heroes" in Star Wars: Episode III, but when it backed up our long nights wiping out invading forces during Battlefront II's many campaigns, it was empowering. — Matt Patches
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5. Knights of the Old Republic (2003)
Compared to Jedi Outcast released the year before, the actual gameplay of KOTOR isn’t great. You have no control over lightsaber combat — moves are actually determined by virtual “dice throws.” But that’s pretty much the norm in role-playing games. What you do get is a story set in a wholly unexplored period of Star Wars history and possibly the most character-driven LucasArts game ever. 3,900 years before the events of the movies, the Republic is at war with the Sith. Or rather, two Jedi, who’ve turned to the Dark Side and are calling themselves Darth Revan and Darth Malak. You play an anonymous Republic soldier with extraordinary abilities that are only slowly discovered throughout the course of the game as you battle back the darkness. As an RPG, KOTOR allows you to make key moral choices throughout the story that determine the direction of the plot…and your character’s ultimate fate, leading up to the most shocking Star Wars reveal since “I am your father.” Also, you will never learn more about the internal politics of Wookiee culture. — Christian Blauvelt
NEXT: What's the best Star Wars game ever? Plus, our picks for the 5 Worst.
4. The Empire Strikes Back (1992)
In the early days of LucasArts, being able to recreate any amount of the Star Wars trilogy was a gift to fans. Like it's movie counterpart, 1992's Empire Strikes Back — debuting first on the NES then ported over to the Gameboy — managed to, for the first time, convey the thrills of the narrative with involving gameplay. The graphics were low-res, the functionality imperfect (no you f**king Tauntaun, MOVE THIS WAY), but in the end, Luke's Hoth escapades and first taste of force powers made for hours of side-scrolling fun. There's a comic book style to Luke's lightsaber movement that remains imprinted on my mind, even today. — Matt Patches
3. Rogue Squadron (1998)
While we cannot forgive the whines and groans that accompanied Luke Skywalker’s desire to take up with the Academy, we can finally understand just why he so desperately wanted to be a pilot: Rogue Squadron gave us the chance to try our hand behind the X-Wing wheel, zipping with an impressive fluidity (at least for that era of video gaming) through some of the Star Wars franchise’s most formidable locales. Highlights of the game include taking down Imperial Walkers with some fancy footwork and a spool of yarn, and taking a dip in the gelatin-esque waters of Mon Calamari. Avoid the tasty topography of this realm: It’s a trap! — Michael Arbeiter
RELATED: ‘Star Wars: The Clone Wars’ Canceled, New Series Planned
2. X-Wing Alliance (1998)
The last, and best, game in the PC X-Wing series puts you in the cylindrical cockpit of a YT-1300 freighter (for non-nerds, that’s a ship of the same class as the Millennium Falcon), a Y-Wing, a B-Wing, an A-Wing, and just about every other type of craft you can imagine. But it’s not just a first-person space-combat simulator. X-Wing Alliance tells a deep, involving story about a family, the Azzameens, who run a shipping company around the events of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. When the Empire tries to take over their business, they defect to the Rebel Alliance, and, as Ace, the hotshot pilot who’s the Azzameen family’s cocky youngest son, you participate in the mission to steal the plans for the Second Death Star and finally fly into the Death Star’s reactor shaft in the Battle of Endor itself. — Christian Blauvelt
1. Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (2002)
I’d argue the Star Wars Expanded Universe is at its very best when focusing on characters who aren’t in the films. That allows storytellers other than George Lucas to explore nooks and crannies of the Star Wars galaxy without being a slave to continuity. It also means those novels and videogames don’t feel compelled to drown in the movies’ Joseph Campbell-knockoff mythology and can take different narrative pathways. Exhibit A for how well this can work? The Dark Forces series, which reaches its apex in Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast, the greatest Star Wars game ever produced. Flinty, bearded, commando-turned-Jedi Kyle Katarn has to rescue his partner and lover, Jan Ors, from the clutches of one of Luke Skywalker’s Jedi students who turned to the Dark Side. It’s Star Wars' answer to The Searchers, and it takes Kyle from the seedy, neon-tinted Hutt demimonde of Nar Shaddaa to the glistening spires of Cloud City (where you have an epic lightsaber fight in the carbon-freeze room, just like Empire Strikes Back!), to the jungles of Yavin 4.
The level maps are crammed with detail, from the little Ugnaughts who populate Cloud City’s underlevels (who you can slice with your lightsaber if you’re feeling mean-spirited: we do!) to the latest craze in interstellar mixology, a ruby bliel, the must-order drink from your local Chiss barman. And though later games like The Force Unleashed have been touted for their gameplay mechanics, none can compare to Jedi Outcast and its hyper-dynamic lightsaber combat—especially when you have “realistic saber combat” mode activated, allowing for full dismemberment. Until someone invents a T-14 hyperdrive, playing Jedi Outcast is the closest thing to visiting that Galaxy Far, Far Away for real. — Christian Blauvelt
THE 5 WORST STAR WARS VIDEOGAMES
5. Force Commander (2000)
LucasArts was never able to make a great real-time strategy game. The closest they ever came was with Star Wars: Empire at War and Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds—Clone Campaigns, which basically just used the Age of Empires engine. Force Commander was a particular misfire, though, with an unwieldy camera and uninspired combat.
4. Empire at War—Forces of Corruption (2006)
However, Force Commander wasn’t as bad as this epic dud. The sequel to Empire at War features the smallest game maps for an RTS game we’ve ever seen. They’re so small that when a Super Star Destroyer shows up for the finale, it takes up practically the entire map, with no room for maneuverability. A huge missed opportunity.
3. Rebellion (1998)
It’s not just that Rebellion hasn’t aged well, it’s that the PC game’s graphics looked archaic even when it came out in 1998, especially compared to what you could find on the N64 with Rogue Squadron, released the same year. A sad, lazy effort.
2. Kinect Star Wars (2012)
This is the game that gave us Princess Leia dancing in her metal bikini to “Genie in a Bottle.” ‘Nuff said.
1. Masters of Teräs Käsi (1998)
With a name like Masters of Teräs Käsi how could it not be the worst Star Wars game ever?
[Photo Credit: LucasArts]
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Chloe Sevigny Plays the Ex-Game: After getting her limbs torn off on American Horror Story, Chloe Sevigny was probably relieved when she landed her next gig: she'll be playing Danny's (Chris Messina) ex-wife on the very recently renewed Fox sitcom The Mindy Project. Sevigny's character is an accomplished war photographer named Christina, who comes to town to wine and dine Danny... again. She's on board for at least three episodes, which will begin airing in April. [TVLine]
Lost and Found: Lost star Naveen Andrews is heading back to TV on his former network. The actor has signed on to play a British agent who helps a man try to free his wife after she's imprisoned overseas following a political uprising. [Deadline]
Angus T. Jones Gets Bakula'd on 2.5 Men: Yep, you heard us right — Angus T. Jones is still on Two and a Half Men. And the Bible-thumping teen's character, Jake, is about to meet some competition in the romance department — competition in the form of former Quantum Leap star Scott Bakula. Bakula will play an auto dealership tycoon on the April 4th episode of the long-running series, and he will interfere with Jake's love life in a surprising way. [TVLine]
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The Walking Dead Meets The Exorcist: You wish! The closest we'll get to Linda Blair's spinning head on TV is Robert Kirkman's new comic book and horror series combo, set in the world of exorcisms. Kirkman is developing the script for Fox International Channels, and it will focus on a young man who has been “plagued by possession since he was a child. Now an adult, he embarks on a spiritual journey to find answers but what he uncovers could mean the end of life on Earth as we know it.” The project still needs a network, but given Kirkman's reputation, we're not too worried about a pilot order. [EW]
Fringe Creator Nabs Lili Taylor for New Pilot:Woohoo! Six Feet Under actress Lili Taylor has been cast as the female lead in J.H. Wyman's (Fringe) yet-untilted pilot, a buddy cop show set in the future. In Wyman's world, all LAPD officers are partnered with highly evolved human-like androids. It centers on the pairing of cop John Kennex and his android partner Dorian (Michael Ealy). Taylor will play the police captain, so yay for future android feminism! [Deadline]
The Voice Champ Falls Flat: Rascal Flatt, that is! Season 3 winner Cassadee Pope has found success in the country world, and now she's taking her show on the road. Pope will tour with the Grammy Award-winning trio Rascal Flatts on their Changed tour this summer. The singer tweeted, “Incredibly excited to announce I will be supporting the Rascal Flatts tour this summer. I’ll be playing right before the Band Perry. Yay!” Yay, indeed. [Hollywood Reporter]
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[PHOTO CREDIT: Ivan Nikolov/WENN]
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ABC Wants Moore, More, More: ABC is giving Mandy Moore another shot at TV stardom. The network didn't pick up the actress's 2012 comedy pilot, but obviously ABC execs are fans of her work, considering they've cast her as one of the leads in their new show, Pulling. Based on the British series of the same name, Pulling follows three thirtysomething women struggling with dating at an age where they're supposed to have their lives figured out. Moore will play Louise, a woman hyper-focused on finding a husband who often comes on a little too strong. In other ABC casting news, the network has added its The River star Eloise Mumford to its drama pilot Reckless. [Deadline]
Mix it Up: ABC's comedy Mixology, which takes place in a bar over the course of one night, has added three new cast members to the mix. Adam Campbell, Craig Frank, and Glee gal Vanessa Lengies will play three singles looking for love. Campbell is a tech dude in debt after his startup failed, Frank is a dim-witted hottie, and Lengies is a peppy personal trainer who waitresses at night. [Deadline]
Is Deception Done?: Stick a fork in it, because NBC's soap Deception is cooked. Star Tate Donovan has already found other work — he'll play the male lead in the new CBS drama pilot Hostages. He'll play Toni Collette's husband in the series, which follows a surgeon who becomes part of a political conspiracy when she operates on the U.S. President and her family is taken hostage. [The Hollywood Reporter]
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Pure Genius: Steve Zahn will play one half of a team of uniquely talented brothers who use human behavior and psychology to solve their clients' problems in the ABC drama pilot Influence. Zahn's Clark is a bipolar genius and expert in the human behavior and psychology field who lost his professor job when his affair with an undergraduate was exposed, while his brother is a slick ex-con. [Deadline]
Pena's on The List: End of Watch star Michael Pena is solemnly swearing to uphold the law in yet another role, this time as a U.S. Marshal leading the hunt for a person who stole a list of the identities of every person in the Federal Witness Security Program and started offing them one by one. (Hence the title The List.) [THR]
Graynor is the New Diaz: The hilarious, underrated Ari Graynor has landed herself the starring role in CBS' Bad Teacher, a half-hour comedy based on the movie of the same name. Graynor will take over the titular role, a former trophy wife who turns into the husband-hunting, wildly inappropriate educator after her husband divorces her and leaves her penniless. Cameron Diaz played the teacher in the 2011 movie. [THR]
So Fetch: Remember when Tim Meadows played the principal in the seminal 2004 comedy Mean Girls? Get ready to relive that awesomeness on a weekly basis — the SNL vet has booked a role in the Fox comedy pilot The Gabriels as a straight-laced middle school principal. The comedy stars Rob Riggle as the patriarch of an introverted Wisconsin family living in a community of over-sharers. [TVLine]
Double Vision: Jason Lee is getting dramatic in the new CBS drama Second Sight. He'll star as a New Orleans detective who suffers from hallucinations thanks to a rare disease. Sounds problematic, but don't worry — it's a good thing, because the hallucinations help him solve crime. Naturally. [THR]
Follow Jean on Twitter @hijean
[PHOTO CREDIT: WENN]
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Welcome to Pawnee, Indiana. We are located 90 miles from Indianapolis and we are the state's seventh-largest city. We are a city of kind citizens, green places, and a deep love and respect for the land. For the care and protection of these public outdoor spaces, we turn to the Parks and Recreation Department, headed by the honorable Ronald Ulysses Swanson. In order to ensure that the parks, pools, and public spaces of Pawnee remain in their tip top condition and able to provide good, clean fun for the citizens of Pawnee and their guests, the Parks and Recreation Department asks you to follow the following pertinent rules and regulations. Please and thank you, rest in peace L'il Sebastian.
10 Rules and Regulations for Throwing a Bachelor or Bachelorette Party
1. Bring your own equipment. The following will be provided at the venue, all additional penis paraphernalia, props, costumes, and libations are permitted but must be brought by the visitor.- Provided at the Bachelor's home: Settler's of Catan, "Bachelor Ben" hat, Beer.
- Provided at the Bachelorette's home: Dessert, Candy, Fuzzy blankets.2. Sign up for use of the venue in advance. If unforeseen circumstances (e.g. the construction of a Paunch Burger, ordered to begin by a rival Councilman, on your empty lot) make it impossible for your party to continue as scheduled, please alert the host or suffer a penalty.
3. Register all guests. If additional people or entertainment join your party you must register them with the Parks and Recreation Department. Additional guests may include, but are not limited to: exotic dancers dressed as deceased politicians (e.g. Babe Lincoln), former Presidential candidates (e.g. Newt Gingrich), professional athletes (e.g. NFL team Indianapolis Colts).
4. Refrain from unlawful behavior of all kinds. Unlawful behavior ranges from the possession of an open container to trespassing on government property to bury fake Wamapoke artifacts in order to halt the construction of a local fast food chain.
5. Alert your host to any possible location change. If your Bachelor party moves to molecular mixology bar Essence, Sherm's ice cream parlour, Lucas Oil Stadium, and/or St. Elmo's Steakhouse, alert your host in advance so he can make the proper arrangements and find the appropriate soundtrack (including, but not limited to, a Salt-n-Pepa playlist).
6. Report all unlawful behavior (as outlined above) witnessed to the appropriate authorities.
7. Clean up after your party. Cleanup may include trash pickup, the retrieval of unlawfully placed artifacts, the scheduling of any followup meetings — such as a non-denominational pow-wow with rival Councilman and Wamapoke tribal leader — to settle all discrepancies that arose during your scheduled time at the venue.
8. Refrain from all offensive behavior, including, but not limited to, donning a Native American headdress. All City Council members be advised.
9. Thank your host. Politeness is expected in Pawnee! If your host succeeds in throwing the Best Bachelor Party ever (especially if said Bachelor party becomes five Bachelor Parties) he must be rewarded in turn. One Best Man trophy and inspirational speech will serve as adequate acknowledgement of a job well done.
10. Pay it forward! Did you have a great time at your event? Help prepare for the next one by recruiting the appropriate new guests. Please call reporter Shauna Malwae-Tweep to help make arrangements.
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: NBC]
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Hayek Vies For a Rock: Jack Donaghy's rock, to be specific. Salma Hayek will appear on the Jan. 31 series finale of 30 Rock, reprising her Season 3 role as Elisa, a women Jack almost married. Also returning is Julianne Moore as Nancy, who also has quite the scandalous romantic past with Jack. May the best woman win? [EW]
Curing a Hangover With Mixology: The writers behind The Hangover (Jon Lucas and Scott Moore) are mixing up a pilot order for ABC for a high-concept single-camera comedy that follows a group of singles over the course of one night. Mixology takes place in a sexy Manhattan bar while the main characters search for love... or lust, all in one night. [THR]
Trading In His Scalpel For a Badge: Castle's annual February sweeps two-part episode has recruited Dylan Walsh for a huge role. The Nip/Tuck alum will play Agent Harris, an even-keeled FBI investigator who works with Rick and Kate when a murder investigation exposes a plot to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy Middle Eastern businessman. “Our two-parters are always about big tension with personal stakes, so we have a story that we like," showrunner Andrew Marlowe says. "[I'm] not quite ready to advertise what it’s going to be, but we’re excited about it and I think it has some fun twists and turns.” [TVLine]
Cold Justice To Heat Summer 2013: TNT has ordered eight episodes of an unscripted procedural drama from Law & Order boss Dick Wolf. Cold Justice follows Texas prosecutor Kelly Siegler and Yolanda McClary, a crime-scene investigator for the Las Vegas Police Department, as they help local law-enforcement agencies in small towns across the country solve violent crimes that have sat cold because of lack of funding and proper forensic technology. The partners will take on a different case each week, re-examining the evidence and questioning suspects and witnesses to finally solve the dormant cases. Cold Justice is slated for late summer 2013. [The Wrap]
Coach Sue Gets Anger-y: Seems like Coach Sue might take a hiatus from the halls of McKinley High to deal with her anger issues. Jane Lynch may guest-star on Charlie Sheen's FX sitcom Anger Management, the star revealed at Fox's winter TV preview event Tuesday night. "We have Jane Lynch coming on, maybe," Sheen told reporters. Lynch recurred as Dr. Linda Freeman, Sheen's therapist, for nine seasons on Two and a Half Men, earning her an Emmy nomination. No word yet on when she might appear. [TV Guide]
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Music and news series. The first segment blends music and images from dozens of videos to create an audio/video medley. The second segment uses a single music video to expand on social, historical or political themes. The third segment pays tribute to a single artist using rapidly cut music video highlights. The final and fourth segment is news oriented.