Buena Vista Pictures via Everett Collection
In a movie filled with rocket-fueled cartoon high jinks — babbling rabbits dodging armies of merciless kitchenware, motormouth cabs zooming through (and over) the streets of Los Angeles, stray bullets arguing over the whereabouts of their desired target, piano duels that devolve into feather-flying donnybrooks — it says quite a bit that the scenes driven by a non-animated sourpuss in his mid 40s don't drag in the slightest. In fact, some of my favorite material from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a movie that enjoys a permanent home in my top five, is that of Bob Hoskins' curmudgeonly detective Eddie Valiant.
Today, the role in a film like this (as if a film like this could really be made today) would be given to someone like Ryan Reynolds — handsome, goofy, capable of matching his hand-drawn sidekick in family friendly slapstick. But the Valiant we got in '88 had to play down the loony and up the humane. Not only is it called for on a narrative level (he hates toons), but also in the management of the film's unbelievable gravity. Thanks to wily Roger and his propensity for withstanding any number of refrigerator-based head injuries, Robert Zemeckis' first foray into the world of animation is not stingy with the hysterics. But on the other side of the Toontown tunnel, we find a glimmer of the real world: Hoskins, playing a prickly, dejected has-been committed to slathering all memories of a happier time in a thick coating of whiskey.
Buena Vista Pictures via Everett Collection
Without Hoskins' earnest, earthy approach to the character — playing him with the cranky determination you'd find in the leading men of John Huston or Roman Polanski — Who Framed Roger Rabbit would be little more than an impressive technical feat. In Valiant, we're grounded to the tenets of adulthood: pragmatism, prejudice, and gloom, played against the impossibly impenetrable childhood of Roger. Though most of our laughs come from the bowtied showman and his colorful ilk, we need to experience their story through Eddie, to channel these nutballs' hidden humanity through the lens of Hoskins' reluctant hero.
Luckily, Hoskins gives us that chance, creating an Eddie Valiant that ushers us seamlessly from a recognizable world into the bizarre but (thanks to Bob) shockingly inviting neo-noir of the '47 L.A./Toontown border. Not worried about getting his solo in the showstopper and concerned only with telling a terrific story, Hoskins still manages to give Who Framed Roger Rabbit some of its most winning scenes, and incredible feat accomplished by not vying toward the sky-high mania of Roger but in helping to anchor the character and his elastic brethren down to our own terrestrial homestead. Hoskins shoulders the responsibility of making not just Eddie but the world around him feel real, palpable, and worthwhile. And whether he's drowning his own malaise, casing back alleys, and struggling to restrain a compulsively wacky cartoon rabbit, he — just like his grumbling private eye — gets the job done.
Follow @Michael Arbeiter| Follow @Hollywood_com
If Kourtney Kardashian can blog about being a mom on the foundation that she's popped out a couple of kids, Gwyneth Paltrow can instruct us on the ways of healthy living and whatever else Goop.com is about on account of the fact that she's Gwyneth Paltrow, and Heidi Klum can spout off weird knowledge of tooth-shaped pillows and diet pizzas based on her apparent prowess in staying skinny and talking about weird things, then Lindsay Lohan can certainly act as an expert on going to rehab and never learning anything at all. After three stints in rehab, it's almost surprising she hasn't written a book about her experience, but now she just may be starting to blog about it, according to The New York Post.
But while she can, Lohan most certainly shouldn't be writing about rehab as long as she's still experiencing rehab. There's a reason the Seafield Center in Westhampton Beach, where Lohan will reportedly begin her program on May 2, has strict rules about visitors to the facility and about respecting the confidentiality of its patients. The first rule being to protect some patients who, like Lohan, may be in the public eye, but the second is because a serious journey to rehabilitation requires a committment to changing one's behaviors, and that's a very personal process.
The center offers such strict measures as "social setting detox" in order to ween patients off of the other, non-physical cues that trigger addiction. For Lohan, dipping back into the celeb news circuit by telling her story of rehab as it happens seems to be the opposite of removing herself from the world causing all the problems. Instead, she's just buying right into it.
It's not uncommon for celebs to talk about rehab after they've come through it all to see the light at the end of the tunnel: Robert Downey, Jr. opened up to Rolling Stone about his time in prison and rehab following his raging drug addiction in the '90s. Demi Lovato went on Katie to talk about how rehab felt like "prison" and how she struggled with being kept from her usual creature comforts and habits. But that's the point. They both shared their experiences after they got well. At that point, sharing the story is a way of acknowledging the changes they've made in their life.
But writing knee-jerk, glorified feelings journals for the entire Internet to consume like a pack of ravenous, judgmental hyenas is not healthy for the hyenas or for Lohan. Rehab needs to be a place of zero judgement, a sequestered glen in which the patients can remove the stressors that drove them to their addiction in the first place. Keeping that channel of communication between herself and the fire-breathing dragon of celebrity gossip culture open is only going to hurt her chances at actually making the fourth rehab stint the charm.
And that's not even taking into account the entertainment factor for readers. How fascinating can Lindsay's new schedule of acupuncture, spirituality workshops, and candlelit ceremonies be? We've heard the "I want to be better" speech from LiLo time after time... after time... after t-i-m-e. Is reading it again in real time going to make it any more believable? No. It won't.
You know what will make it believable? Lohan going to rehab without the watchful eye of the Internet, completing her treatment without sharing her thoughts on the spread at Taco Tuesday, and emerging from the process a more centered, thoughtful, careful human being who doesn't turn around immediately and go back to her old booze-guzzling (among other things) ways. Drop the blog, LiLo. Treat yo self (literally).
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
More:Lindsay Lohan, Your Hoodie Looks Like a Condom'Scary Movie 5' Review: Was Lindsay Lohan Funny?LiLo on 'Anger Management': No Cocaine Joke Was Left Untold
From Our Partners:Beyonce Flaunts Bikini Bod for H&M (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
NBC's The New Normal is a delightful show about a not very ordinary gay couple trying to have a surrogate daughter with a strange woman who has an oddball child and an unbelievably bigoted (and funny) grandmother. NeNe Leakes is also somehow involved. As much as it would like us to believe that this is the way the world works today, like most Ryan Murphy shows it is really a celebration of the oddities within all of us. Therefore this weekly feature is both a celebration (and indictment) of all the abnormality contained within it.
Normal: A kid who has both an iPhone and an iPad.
Abnormal: A poor kid whose mother has no job with both an iPhone and an iPad.
Normal: Saturday Night Live stars going onto bigger and brighter things.
Abnormal: Cheri Oteri's career. Seriously, where has she been? And how hilarious was she? Give this lady some work!
Normal: Someone saying he has a doughy face.
Abnormal: Someone saying he has a doughy face, when he looks like this.
Normal: Having a Google Alert on your name, or your favorite star.
Abnormal: No one has a Jennifer Love Hewitt Google Alert, not even her mom.
Normal: People caring about TV shows.
Abnormal: People caring about TV ratings. We don't care about your "Live +3"s, we're watching your show right now, give us some jokes we're going to be into.
Normal: NeNe Leakes getting a new hairstyle.
Abnormal: NeNe Leakes getting a new hairstyle that makes her look like she got caught in a wind tunnel and turned into a blonde Q-Tip.
Normal: Checking your phone at the dinner table.
Abnormal: Wanting to talk at the dinner table. No one does this anymore. You see your family all the time. Twitter is always new!
Normal: Using WebMD to diagnose your symptoms.
Abnormal: WebMD telling you that you have something other than cancer or AIDS. It's always cancer or AIDS
Abnormal: I'm sorry, I love a sext as much as the next perv, but online sex is not any better than real sex.
Normal: Making a video for your special someone.
Abnormal: No self respecting gay would make a video that bad.
Normal: Following Brett Easton Ellis' Twitter rants.
Abnormal: Blocking Brett Easton Eliis. He and June and their contrarian racism would get along so well.
Normal: Little kids playing the recorder.
Abnormal: A little girl playing a song on the recorder that is not "Hot-Crossed Buns."
Normal: Not wanting to be trapped with Neve Campbell in an elevator
Normal: Wearing the same clothes more than once.
Abnormal: Brian's awful puffy vest is back. Put it in an elevator with Neve Campbell and set it on fire.
Normal: Parodying another show on your show.
Abnormal: Holy Crap, they totally made a fake Glee!
Normal: Having a favorite character on Glee.
Abnormal: Ew, no one hearts Lea Michele, not even a fake Lea Michele.
Normal: A kid wanting to have an iPad.
Abnormal: No kid would ever want to have real life experiences more than playing on an iPad. Have you ever even tried "Ham on the Run." That shit is addictive.
Normal: Joining Twitter and being excited about it.
Abnormal: Joining Twitter and being so excited about it that you write an entire episode of a sitcom devoted to it. You can follow Ryan Murphy @MrRPMurphy.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: NBC(2)]
The Least Normal Things About 'The New Normal': Christ on a Cross Edition
The Least Normal Things About 'The New Normal': Drunken Hookup Edition
The Least Normal Things About 'The New Normal': Fake Wedding Edition
Although many aspects of the construction of the Channel Tunnel are "high-tech," tunneling is a dirty and unglamorous business. Since Roman times, Europe's leaders have dreamed of a tunnel linking England and France. Sometimes the motivations were commercial, but for others, like Napoleon, the considerations were more of a geo-political nature. There are three tunnels, each specifically designed to leak and relieve water pressure on the lining. One runs from France to England, another runs the opposite way and the last is in the middle and allows access to the train tunnels for maintenance.