Smash is the musical drama that sparks a flurry of emotions in anyone who watches it. People either love it, hate it, or love to hate it. So to help celebrate all the outrageous, over-the-top, and fantastically farfetched moments, we present to you a weekly recap filled with the best Smash superlatives! What was the best cover song of the night? Who had the best verbal bitch-slap? What was the biggest Season 1 jab? Read on for all the awards and take to the comments with your favorite moments from “New Song.”
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This week’s Smash was all about one thing: Veronica “Ronnie” Moore’s (Jennifer Hudson) one night-only concert that Bravo was filming for an on-air extravaganza. The only problem is Ronnie has never been perceived by the public as anything other than America’s Broadway Sweetheart, and despite her momager’s opinion, she was willing to shake things up a bit.
And with that cue, Derek (Jack Davenport) and his visionary directorial skills was ready to turn Ronnie into a sexy, fresh and edgy performer. The show was a huge success and all you really need to know is Ronnie ended the night with a brand new song that Jimmy (Jeremy Jordan) wrote in less than 24 hours. Oh and Jimmy kissed Karen (Katharine McPhee) when he was super duper high on drugs.
The dramaturg Peter, took Julia (Debra Messing) to one of his acting classes and had his students read Bombshell out-loud after he had changed all the names. Julia realized that she only ever viewed Marilyn through the eyes of the man that she was with, so after a rush of inspirations, she and Peter worked non-stop on a new book for Bombshell.
After Nick returned from hiding, Eileen (Anjelica Huston) went to her court appearance regarding the Bombshell’s dirty money, and confessed that she knew exactly where the money was coming from. This freed Bombshell from it’s hold and the musical can now officially head to Broadway — but not with Eileen as their producer. At the end of the episode we learned that new Bombshell producer Jerry was working with Ellis this entire time to get the dirt on how to force his ex-wife out of the show.
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Best Original Song: Jimmy’s less than 24 hours creation, “I Can’t Let Go,” was a gorgeous, flawless, lyrical piece that Ronnie used to end the show on the best way possible.
Best Cover Song: “I’ve Got Love” is Ronnie’s signature song that she sang twice in the episode: once as a Broadway sweetheart and the other as a sultry and sexually-charged singer. Both versions were undeniably amazing.
Best Insult: “‘If I’m going to be screwed by somebody it not going to be you.“ –Jimmy to Derek.
Best-Backhanded Compliment: “I know he’s the world’s worst human being but he’s a very good producer.” –Eileen on giving Bombshell over to her ex-husband Jerry.
Dumbest Line: That was definitely anything that came out of Jimmy’s mouth when he was high as a kite. “I many have done some drugs. Did I screw something up? Because Derek was angry, and then I was angry, and then Kyle was angry. Are you angry?” And the cherry on top of the silly sundae is the line Jimmy uttered after he and Karen shared the first kiss: “Wow. Wow and I’m not just saying that because I’m rolling.”
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Biggest WTF Moment: To let out some of her anger, Julia hurled a book at Peter’s face in the middle of a school quad. Sure, it was a very light book, but still. How old are you? Use your words honey.
Most Swoon-Worthy Moment: Anytime Jeremy Jordan sang while playing the piano.
Best Verbal Bitchslap: At one point in the episode, Jimmy puffed up his chest and attempted to start a fight with Derek in front of Karen. When she protested, Derek smoothly sneered, “It’s alright darling, he’s just showing off for you.” Burn!
Most Awkward Moment: When Nick returned (I honestly didn’t even remember that he was missing to be honest) he and Eileen sat on the couch and were supposedly sharing some sexual tension and angst. But in reality the scene was awkward as hell and only left us thinking about what an awful and awkward relationship this has been.
Best Jab at Season 1: A acting student in Peter’s class said it perfectly: “You can tell whoever wrote it knows how to write, but it’s missing something.” Biggest Bombshell Blunder: Even though he was never in a scene, Ellis managed to take down his former boss Eileen after all. Eileen, is out, Jerry is in, and Ellis is now a very rich little rat.
What did you think of “New Song”? Which superlatives would you like to add to the list? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
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[Photo Credit: Will Hart/NBC]
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If aliens ever crash land on Earth, there's going to be a lot of things we are going to have a tough time explaining: the continued success of Adam Sandler, Crocs, and Black Friday mania. But none may seem more strange to our cruel intergalactic overlords than the Miss Universe pageants. Not only are we going to have to explain why we didn't let them compete in this bizarre tradition (Earthlings win the Miss Universe competition every year) but we're going to have to explain the competition all together. Heck, even mere mortals have a hard time wrapping their heads around this outdated practice.
But that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of universal truths that we can all understand from the Miss Universe pageant. Here's what we learned from the 2012 competition, which aired on Wednesday night on NBC:
Miss Universe Contestants Only Do Things in Montage Form: They go to spas in Las Vegas, they do the "Gangham Style" dance, they eat at Buca di Beppo (hope you got the Pope room, ladies!), they hawk products in a way that slightly looks like a poorly made infomercial or late night phone sex commercial. Usually set to elevator music, the most beautiful women from around the globe (see, watching Animaniacs paid off) can do anything, so long as it's in a well edited montage.
Like Buddy the Elf, Smiling Is Their Favorite: For two hours, the women competing not only have to stand perfectly poised, half naked in high heels, but they have to do it while smiling. The entire time. Unblinking, void smiles that they must continue doing even when you lose. You have to smile while your dreams are dashed and you have to smile while someone like Scott Disick judges you.
The Swimsuit Competition Makes You Feel Terrible: You can tell yourself the Miss Universe is a sexist, archaic institution (because it is) that you are above (you are) but watching lithe, beautiful women in bikinis while you watch in your sweats in the wintertime will make even the most headstrong women feel bad. Not only about themselves, but about the fact that this is still a way women are judged in the year 2012.
One of the Contestants Will Say Something That Reinforces Every Stereotype About Beauty Queens: For every beauty pageant competitor that is a smart, focused woman (this year alone, there was a woman who graduated at the top of her class) trying to squash the stereotypes that they are just Barbies being paraded around with no substance, there's one that swoops in and kills the whole thing for everyone. While Miss South Carolina set the standard during the Miss Teen USA pageant back in 2007, Miss Venezuela gave her a run for her money during the 2012 Miss Universe competition, with this gem of an answer when asked if she would create any new laws: "I think that any laws in constitution or in life are already made. I think that we should have a way to go in our or similar in our life…for instance, I am a surfer, and I think that the best wave that I can take is to wait for it so, do our only law that we can do."
The Announcers Will Go Overboard With Their Pronunciations: Brazil isn't Brazil during the Miss Universe pageant, it's Brraaaaazzzeeeeeeel!
The National Costumes is the Best Part: Imagine if Carnivale or a drag queen competition went overboard with their costumes, then you might just come close to the outfits that are worn by the contestants that represents, in excessive fashion (literally), their country. So why, oh why, did NBC choose not to air this gaudy, over-the-top, vaguely racist segment? Why?!
Co-Host Andy Cohen Is Actually The SNL Parody Of Himself: When Taran Killam did his hilarious impression of the Bravo host earlier this year, it had to be an exaggeration of his bubbly personality and utterly ridiculous existence on television, right? Wrong! Cohen, who co-hosted the evening with Giuliana Rancic, actually exclaims things like "Okay, this is fun!" and congratulates Miss China, winner of the National Costumes, "Mazel!"
We, As A People, Let Train Happen: It was bad enough that we let them be famous back in 2001, but we have given them a comeback. We're letting Pat Monahan and his actually insane lyrics back into the national consciousness and we let them perform on our bizarre televised rituals. We can't wash our hands of this, people of Earth.
Donald Trump Is A Goon: Is it ironic that we let someone who looks and behaves like he does run a beauty competition or just plain sad and frustrating?
If It's Held in America, C'mon, Of Course Miss USA Is Going to Win: Even though she was dressed in a velvet, sleeved gown and said the one thing she wouldn't do in her life again was pick on her siblings (despite the fact that she said she didn't regret it) Miss USA Olivia Culpo (pictured) won the Miss Universe pageant during a year it was held in America and when Miss Australia probably should have won, because of course. [Photo credit: Photo Credit: Julie Jacobson/AP Photo] More:
The Five Most Amazingly Outrageous Moments of the Miss USA Pageant
GLAAD Responds to Miss USA Controversy: Miss Pennsylvania is 'Out of Touch'
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