Fast & Furious pin-up Gal Gadot has fired back at critics who have accused her of inappropriate behaviour in her sexy new ad for Israeli fashion brand Castro. The model-turned-actress has upset TV viewers with the new commercial - and many have complained to Israel's Second Authority for Television & Radio officials in an effort to get the ad pulled.
They insist the TV spot objectifies women and is inappropriate for children to see.
Addressing the controversy on TV in her native Israel on Monday (27Jan14), Gadot said, "I am very much in favour of women's rights, being a woman myself, and I support intelligent, successful, independent working women.
"I shot the commercial from a place of having fun and amusement. Not every commercial comes with a certain agenda. For me, it was fun, and I had no intention of hurting anyone."
In the ad, the actress, who has signed on to play Wonder Woman in the Man of Steel sequel, dances around and 'twerks' in her underwear.
Walt Disney Studios
Delivery Man Takes ManhattanWith the long line of energetic movies to his name, Minnesota native Vince Vaughn has embraced the cities of Los Angeles (Swingers), Washington D.C. (Wedding Crashers), San Diego (Anchorman), and even the North Pole (Fred Claus) for his biggest roles. But somehow, the comedic power player hasn't really gotten much of a chance to take on New York City on the big screen before Delivery Man — the actor's next film, in which he stars as bachelor David Wozniak, who discovers he has more than 500 children courtesy of a sperm donation he made years ago. It's not that Vaughn doesn't have an appreciation for the Big Apple — perhaps, in fact, he was waiting for just the right project to apprehend the spirit of New York, and Ken Scott's dramedy seems to be exactly that. When we paid a visit to the Delivery Man set in midtown Manhattan, Vaughn expressed the necessity of the locale in breathing new life into the director's remake of the 2011 film Starbuck. "[It] was really important for me [to shoot the movie in New York]," Vaughn explained. "One of the reasons I wanted to do the movie was if we shot it here. I felt that this story really lends itself to a place that has a lot of different neighborhoods, a lot of different lifestyles. New York certainly has that."
Smack dab in the middle of the city, the Delivery Man set emanates the sort of character you get from classic entries of New York cinema from the likes of Woody Allen to Sydney Lumet. Walking through the set — taking a gander at Wozniak's Brooklyn apartment and butcher shop, both imbued with the vivid clutter inherent in any true city residence or place of business — one could feel the But Vaughn and director Scott will look to paint every corner of the metropolitan area, using the main character's many children as doorways into the various realms of NYC. "It makes sense that they're very, very different worlds that [David is] entering," Vaughn says, speaking on the character's journey to meet each of his "new" children. "They're completely different worlds. So I think that's a big deal. Then, of course, just visually, the energy of the city is tremendous. It really infects the particulars of our family being from Greenpoint, [which is] culturally where we're located." It makes sense that we find first generation American David Wozniak residing in the heavily Polish community of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, where he works in his father's butcher shop. But of course, the surprise that hits Vaughn's hero at the beginning of the story brings him to unexplored areas of his city: "David's curiosity about the kids to travel to different places that he might not on a day-by-day basis go into."
Director Scott, who filmed the original incarnation of this story in Toronto for the independent Canadian feature Starbuck, also expressed a reverence for the far-reaching majesty of his new movie's setting. "New York really felt like the best place to tell the story, to make it as credible as possible," Scott said. "We meet all these kids, and we have to be very efficient in the storytelling. So, they live in all these different neighborhoods, and New York has all these different neighborhoods. If you see a kid that's living in Chelsea, rapidly you sort of get a feeling of what this kid is about. If he's in the Bronx, it's another thing. So, it's rich visually, but it's also very efficient in storytelling perspective."
Vince Vaughn, Father of 533But it isn't only the rich setting that makes Scott's next picture so enticing — it is the chance to rediscover an endlessly fruitful subject matter: parenthood. Specifically, the journey to become a dad, which David Wozniak takes on five hundred-fold when he discovers his sperm bank's botch distribution of his deposit. Scott describes the sometimes wacky, sometimes somber film as "an exploration of fatherhood and what fatherhood is all about."
The director and the actor, both gifted with children, approached the project with their own perspectives on fatherhood on hand. "I have three kids and I felt that I have a whole lot to say about what fatherhood is all about," Scott said. "I think fatherhood has changed in the last 15 or 10 years. Nowadays, you could hear a father say, 'I want to stay home because my wife just had a baby, and I want to take care of the baby.' You hear that today, [but] 15 years ago that was impossible. It's exciting to be informed with what fatherhood is all about today because it has changed." Scott continues, "I feel that fatherhood is very much like a dramatic comedy. There's some great moments. There's some funny moments. There's some more dramatic moments."
Vaughn, too, injected his own attitudes into the film and his performance, as we saw carry through in a take where he tried to reach out to one of his many new sons. "As a parent, you have a lot of hopes," the actor said, "about your kid being enthusiastic about something that they love to do, having self-respect, being surrounded by good people. And then you have a fear of them getting caught up in stuff that's maybe not as rewarding ... which we all go through [in] phases." Vaughn continues, "I think what's fun about the movie is that through the different kids, because there are so many, you play out all of those anxieties or hopes of this kid's doing well or this kid's really in a bad spot. You start to realize the difference in believing in someone, or feeling like there is going to be a tomorrow, can go a long way for folks that don't feel like they have that messaging in their life."
In the end, the actor has a great deal of appreciation for his character and for director Scott's project: "What I love about the character of David is that he goes in very open to some of the stuff he hasn't seen or experienced before." To Vaughn, the film represents some of the most important elements you can tackle. "I think it's about the family, but I think it's about life, and all of us, in some kind of way. At our best, I think, we like to feel that we're not against each other, and sometimes people are hurting and you need a little bit of support. I like the stuff [the movie] says about being a guardian angel, feeling like things can be different tomorrow for whatever is going on. So I think it takes out a bigger message without being preachy. [It's about] family, but [also] just about human beings and life. It gives you a perspective of what really matters."
Delivery Man hits theaters on Nov. 22.
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What happens when your friends no longer have your back? For one thing, TV sitcom theme songs would be in need of some serious rewrites. (Let’s face it, “I Won’t Be There For You” just doesn’t have the same nice ring to it.)
But for the most part, it leaves you feeling completely betrayed and alone — something that our dear Miranda Bailey became all too familiar with this week as Grey’s Anatomy delved into the aftermath of her recent medical faux pas. The show also gave us a nibble of the storyline we’ve been waiting to come to fruition since the beginning of the season. That’s right — I’m talking about Alex admitting his feelings for Jo. Granted, he told Cristina not Jo herself, but baby steps, people! Now on to the recap!
The Curious Case of Miranda Bailey: Our beloved doctor has certainly seen better days, hasn’t she? Not only was she forced to give an elaborate play-by-play of her surgeries to the CDC, but, on top of that, she was being treated like a piranha by all of her co-workers, who — until now — she had considered to be her closest friends. They wouldn’t even allow her access to her patients’ files for fear that she would tamper with evidence. (Do they think she’s Dexter Morgan? Cut the woman some slack!) But Chandra Wilson deserves mad props for bringing such raw emotions to her character. Seeing Bailey so alone and secluded was truly heartbreaking, showing fans a completely different side to the no-nonsense, rock star surgeon we’ve grown to love all these years.
When the CDC concluded its investigation they discovered that even though Bailey did, in fact, have a staph infection, the real culprits were the defective surgical gloves they started using during the whole Pegasus era. This means Bailey will eventually be reinstated and live to scrub-in another day… but the damage has already been done. She still feels guilty for the death of her two — or by episode’s end, three — patients. Plus she feels completely betrayed by Richard, whom she heard throw her under the bus earlier. Granted, he only said those things in order to get a patient into surgery, but whether she understood that or not, she was still hurt that he didn’t stand by her — like she stood by him during his affair and multiple drunken surgeries. (And I wonder where my growing distrust in hospitals comes from?)
In the end, she pretty much ripped the ex-Chief a new one, so it’s safe to say that their relationship is in some serious jeopardy.
Pointing the (Severed) Finger: While many of our doctors attended to multiple severed fingers of a family reunion tug-of-war game gone awry, April was busy pointing her still-intact finger at Avery for de-virginizing her, which ultimately contributed to her breakup with Matthew.
But as I was screaming at my television about April’s nonsensical complaints (I mean, it’s Avery for crying out loud! The guy’s a freaking dreamboat. Stop complaining!), Avery was having none of it. He told her that even though he’s sorry that she’s hurting right now, he will never regret them being together. It was a sweet moment that held a glimmer of hope for some steamy make-up sex, but Matthew came in and ruined it all by wanting to get back together. Ugh!
Plus side: that means Avery is still on the market since intern Stephanie was nowhere to be found. Call me?
S**t Happens: Meredith has decided she’s going to have the baby naturally and completely drug-free, but she wants Cristina in the room to keep Derek from giving her something if he sees her in too much pain. (Men, what jerks, right?) But Cristina doesn’t want any part of this miraculous event. Why? Because Meredith will probably poop on the table and she just really doesn’t want to see that. In the end, she ended up giving in and agreeing because that’s what “Persons” do for each other — kinda like the girl form of the Bro Code. (Side note: the scene between Alex, Meredith, and Cristina all talking about poop was possibly the funniest/grossest thing I’ve ever seen on this show in a long time. I needed it.)
Pillow Talk: After months and months of waiting, we’re finally starting to make a little headway on the whole Alex-Jo front. He finally admitted out loud to Cristina (during an adorable pillow talk session, might I add) that he’s in love with Jo. Naturally, Cristina already knew that since she knows all, but this relationship might already be over before it began. For one, she’s moving in with her boyfriend, and for another, she’s completely pissed at Alex for telling Jason (though I prefer his nickname: Chest Peckwell) details about her rough childhood — something she had apparently not opened up to him about yet. You’re going to need a big, romantic gesture to get out of this one, Karev.
But theirs might not be the only relationship in turmoil. Cristina opened up to Alex about her concerns regarding Owen. She thinks she’s going to lose him — maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but sometime down the line it’s going to happen. And why? For the same reason that drove them apart in the first place: children. His attachment to Ethan — who is becoming more and more like an orphan with each passing week — grows stronger everyday, which could mean big problems for our favorite on-again, off-again couple. It’s just a matter of when.
So what did you think of this week’s episode? Did you find the poop talk as amusing as I did? Did you think Bailey had a right to lash into Richard like that or did she go too far? Is there any hope for Alex/Jo and Owen/Cristina? Sound off on your dissections and opinions in the comments below!
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The 49-year-old native, who has filmed the hit crime thriller in the state since 2008, revealed last month (Jan13) that he wanted to represent a newly-created district in the city's growing West Side, where three of his children are currently enrolled in school.
He was running unopposed for the seat - and the Associated Press reports that on Tuesday (05Feb13) he officially landed the position.
Quezada had previously declared, "This is my home and where I want to work. We're hurting out here and we need people who can go out and engage our community. I think it's my destiny to do that... I believe I'm in a position to help kids and my community. Education is the best way to ensure our future."
Is there a better way to honor the historical moments of this day — the second inauguration of Barack Obama, on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day — than by watching a pack of female wildebeests trample each other for the chance to sire a son from the alpha-ish male? Of course there is, but when you're a connoisseur of mediocrity, duty calls above all.
So here we are and here we go: shirtless Sean is at it again! The man must have a cotton allergy. It's really the only reasonable explanation. Does ABC really think this dude has nothing else to offer? Or is it just that...this is all he has to offer? Do the bored housewives who especially drool over the all-American milquetoast appeal of Sean Lowe really care, so long as the abdominals are front and center? Apparently not!
First off, let's all agree that this was a terribly boring episode. Right? Even with all the promise of drama and stupidity in the teaser last week, I still found myself unengaged: these ladies aren't actual humans you want to know anything about — they awful, offensive caricatures that are frankly, pretty terrible for women in general. Sometimes this makes for really great television because what is reality for if not judgment and laughter?
But maybe you loved this episode! Maybe you're like, a huge Lesley M fan and you were real tickled homegirl got this week's first one-on-one date! The duo head off to Hollywood because hanging out at the Guinness Book of World Records, uh, museum (?) is what all the normal LA types do on their dates.Thank goodness her dress is adorable. Plus one for Lesley! So why the date at a place no one in their right mind would ever be OK with actually going to on a date? Oh right, because Sean has an inferiority complex when it comes to his father. Or maybe he just doesn't like it when his dad has something he doesn't. (Like a family and children and a shirt.) Turns out, Sean's dad set a World Record! What a completely random and great thing for him! Back in the day, Daddy Lowe drove through the continental United States in 97 hours and seven minutes with two of his bros. Man, even Sean's dad is more interesting than Sean. So with bitter daddy issues in hand, Sean decides he needs to break a world record, too! DUH. Daddio's had enough attention, damn it!
And how can Sean one-up his dad in a way that's convenient to a reality show's film schedule, but also relevant? Time for these two to make out (...for the longest on-screen kiss, not just for funsies)! The two stand around, putting their faces on each other for over 3 minutes while a bunch of people watch. Even the crowd of people standing there admit how awkward it all is, so, cool! Somehow this awkward display of affection turns out to be the best day of Lesley M's life. Because of course it does, ugh. Lucky for this lady, Sean feels like he's known her forever — but he makes her nervous. He does something to her! Nervous Nelly goes in for the kiss after a dare from Sean and this kiss certainly looks more magical (and less awkward) than their last. Ooh la la! Lesley M might be a contenda! No surprise she got the rose.
Group Date alert! AshLee and her highly confused consonants are real glad she didn't get a group date because doing activities is for losers. The 12 gals going on the group date are Kacie B, Robyn, Leslie, Kristy, Catherine, Taryn, Desiree, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniella, Jackie, and Tierra. As for the itinerary? Why, a jaunt on the beach, of course! Also known as another excuse for Sean Lowe to take off his shirt. I almost named this recap "Sean Lowe and the Hunt for the World's Most Elusive Shirt," but that really seems more like a series theme than a singular episode. Six abs to rule them all!
But now it's time for a TWIST! The ladies have to play beach volleyball and the winning team gets one-on-one time with Sean. The losers? A public stoning! Just kidding, they have to go home and pout without any time to tell Sean how cayuuute he is in private. Cold. It turns out, weirdly enough, that all these bikini-ready beach bodies are not all genetically predisposed to be awesome at beach volleyball. I thought that was part of the contract you sign when you made your deal with the devil to have well-defined and super-tanned bodies? Someone should remedy that. Anyway, balls are rolling, sometimes even getting up into the air and over the net. But not really with any sort of regularity. Maybe they're like Amber, and their doctors don't want them to participate in any sort of activity that involves balls flying at their noses. Well there goes your social life!
Exhibit A: (Reference starts at 0:51)
"This volleyball game is probably the most important in my life" says Taryn, queen of rational and non-hyperbolic thought. Is that with or without the flying balls? Obviously it's important for her — it's her last chance at relevancy because the inclusion of her opinion now after being nonexistent so far this season. Which, as we all know, means she's totally going home. In the end, the blue team wins without Sean's help, so the red team heads home to probably eat chocolate and pet cats like the lonely monsters ABC believes they are (and may actually be in real life, sorry gals). But oh, what a dramatic exit theirs is: Tierra is on the red/losing team, so she obviously has to pout and whine. Kristy f**king loses her s**t. Literally bawling her eyes out. OMG, TRUE LOVE IS SLIPPING AWAY! HOPE IS TOTALLY LOST FOR EVERYONE. How can the world keep turning when events like this are taking place on its soil?
Meanwhile, everyone's favorite sourpuss Amanda has flipped her switch in order to perk up and lay down the groundwork for what she wants out of a relationship with Sean. She wants a husband, a best friend, a provider, lover, mindreader, horse whisperer, kumquat inspector, and pool boy. Oh and true love and probably world peace just for good measure.
According to every girl on the show, their ~deep connection~ with Sean is mad f**king real, you guys. (Like, Courtney Stodden real: rill.) More so than any other human element could connect with another human element, is how deep these ladies' Grand Canyon connections are, everyone. These girls are all chemistry scholars, too, so it seems like pretty legit logic. Amanda has brought her powerpoint presentation of all the reasons why she's great and special and swell to prove the connection. It's like this very weird, forced thing. Desiree and Kacie B seem to hate her because she's "dark and creepy" which apparently means you're not allowed to have or find love. Because there are totally no creepy people that are married or birthing children in the world.
But oh that Kacie B. Kacie, what in the actual f**k is going on in that pretty lil skull o' yours, gal? Do you have no short-term memory? Or long-term memory? Or any memory at all? What about common sense — did you lose it somewhere? This girl, who came so close to both winning the heart of a former Bachelor while also nearly getting kicked off for her s**t-stirring, doesn't somehow think that a repeat performance of drama-rousing is her thing. She's not into drama! Only, shut the f**k up, because YES Kacie, you ARE a s**t-stirrer. This is who you are, and categorizing it as "selfish" (Which...what? Does not compute) doesn't make it any less of a stirred s**t. As if s**t-talking Courtney Robertson to Ben Flajnik wasn't enough of a "hey maybe don't do this!" thing, she decides to do it again with Amanda to Sean. How is this different, Kacie? What, has this s**t been shaken rather than stirred? This girl is straight-up pathological with this s**t. Apparently she can't be herself when people don't like each other, so that is a reason for...something?
Sean calls her out on her drama (THANK YOU, I thought he'd be one of those too nicers who doesn't point out the obvious out of fear of hurting the other person's feelings), and demands answers. "Why are you telling me this?" Sean's throat-clearing when she said she's "not a drama person" pretty much tells it all. Sean's throat-clear was the equivalent of Michelle Obama's shade-throwing at the inauguration Monday afternoon. "I want you to act like Kacie, not like this crazy person," Sean mumbles. Oh noes! Kacie's plan isn't not working! Quelle surprise! She didn't expect this! HOW DID SHE NOT EXPECT THIS? Kacie, Kacie, Kacie. GIRL. Honey, child. Grown-ass women don't meddle in other people's business! Because in the end, that meddling says way more about the meddler than those with the business. Also: "I'm not supposed to cry this early" …for real, Kacie? Now you just sound like you're playing a part.
So let's talk about Tierra's fall and her general existence of selfish psycho-manipulation. It happened moments before AshLee's date, and Sean gets worried that Tierra's been concussed! She only starts actually responding to pretty much anyone once they put her on a board for an X-Ray. So she starts crying and telling them to leave her alone. The girls, of course, suspect that she faked it. Which — when you see how positively bratty and insane homegirl gets later in the episode — if she didn't fake it, she sure as hell milked that cow for some serious Sean time, cutting in on his time with AshLee.
Sean decides to close down all of Six Flags and then do some "volunteer work" by turning his date with AshLee into a meeting between two girls from the Starlight Children's Foundation who have never met the other in-person, but are best friends. It's like Catfish minus all the deception and general human terribleness. Only — TWIST! — the girls have no idea they're going to meet. Surprise! Emily and Brianna are IRL ("In Real Life" for all you luddites out there) friends now! This is, admittedly, really precious. The Eli Young Band, Sean's fave because how convenient, is there to sing for everyone! Afterwards, AshLee shares her life story with Sean, and the two both admit they want to adopt children in the future — a cause close to AshLee as she was adopted at age six.
OK so full-disclosure, I totally feel bad about giving AshLee a hard time for her unfortunate capitalization issues. She has a totally positive outlook which is lovely to see in a sea full of crazy. Obviously homegirl gets a rose. AshLee joins Desiree in the "frontrunners" pile, for me.
Prior to the rose ceremony, Sean decided to do something sweet, and brought Sarah's dog Leo out to see her as a token of appreciation. OK, fine, this is pretty adorable, but also so obviously a ploy to get the "aww! puppy!" vote from America. That said, I love puppies. A lot. So I get the tactic.
Tierra is pissed because she deserves "way more" and she "wants to punch some f**king walls" because it's not fair how everyone interrupts her time with Sean. And she gets what she wants, y'all! OK, I'm officially on the "Tierra is a horrible garbage monster" team. I cannot deal with selfish insane people, it's a weird quirk I have.
Rose Ceremony Time! Now featuring the world's longest rose stems. But WAIT! Before it can start, Sean needs to halt the ceremony and talk to Kacie B. He says he respects her too much to put her through another rose ceremony when they're probably better off as friends. So sayonara, Kacie B! Now stop being suck a mother**king s**t-stirrer/shaker/drama-insterter. Jesus.
Oh well. The full list of ladies sent to the infinite abyss where single women pick up their cats, drop off their self-esteem and are sent to learn the rules of spinsterdom are:
What do you think of this week's episode? Let us know in the comments!
[Photo Credit: ABC]
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On Game of Thrones, he's called the Kingslayer. But Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's starring role in the new horror flick Mama may inspire a new nickname: Heartslayer. Because in Mama — Andres Muschietti's terrifying horror flick about a young couple who face a brokenhearted, grotesque ghost that accompanies the two children they adopt — we get to see the soft side of the 42-year-old actor, known primarily to U.S. audiences as that guy who pushed a kid out of a window.
Coster-Waldau plays two characters in the movie: Jeffrey, a man who loses everything in the first edge-of-your-seat sequence, and his kinder, gentler brother Lucas. Jeffrey brings his two small daughters with him when he flees town after committing a few murders. Lost in the woods, he's forced to make an impossible decision — life, or death — regarding the girls. "I couldn't use my own kids [as inspiration]," Coster-Waldau (who has two girls, 9 and 12) explains. "That would be just traumatic. But you try to imagine, what would you do? He just killed his wife! He's in the middle of nowhere, he's lost, he's freezing, he just wants to die — but he knows if he [kills himself]… it would kill his kids either way. I know how sick it sounds, but he knows he has to do what he's about to do. It's horrible, and it's a terrible scene that was tough to do, but it was important for the film that we got it to that extreme. It sets an emotional depth."
It certainly does — but anyone who has seen the trailer knows that the girls make it through in one piece (well, physically). Years later, it's brother Lucas and his girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) who are forced to deal with the woodland child terrors, and the mysterious creature that raised them in the 5 year interim. And while it was Mama herself that gave us nightmares, younger daughter Lilly — who contorts herself in all sorts of positions and eats dirt — comes pretty close in the fright department. "It's interesting, isn't it?" Coster-Waldau says. "Kids [being terrifying] in scary movies. The classic, of course, is The Shining — whenever I watch that, the twins scare the sh** out of me. I'm like, 'Oh no, I don't want to go to that scene!' But I still keep watching! I watch The Shining again and again, and every time it's a horrible experience. I don't know why kids tend to scare us, but they do."
So Coster-Waldau himself has a love-hate relationship with scary movies ("I use my 9-year-old in front of me as a shield"). But he maintains that Mama herself is intriguing, because she has a tragic backstory that bleeds into all of her (admittedly f***ed up) actions. "She isn't just a monster out to horrify," he says. "She actually has a reason to come back. [Mama is] a ghost that has a real emotional motivation to do what she does. If you ask people, if something happened to their kids — I think everyone with kids would say, 'I'll do anything for my kid. I'll kill myself!' People go to those extremes, because those kind of emotions are awakened. That's what you see with Mama. She's ready to go all the way, and that's what makes it scary."
But even though Mama is a ghost with a slightly understandable thirst for vengeance, Coster-Waldau made one thing perfectly clear: She's not as bad as that certain "boy king" we've all come to know and love. When asked who he'd rather spend a weekend with — Mama, or Joffrey — he replied with a laugh: "That's a tricky one. I think Mama! I mean, Joffrey just takes pleasure in hurting people, and she still has a heart... I think. She still has maternal love, while he's just pure evil."
Mama opens this Friday, Jan. 18th.
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If Brandi Glanville, a retired model for a sexy costumes catalog, were to sing a karaoke song on last night's episode of She-Man and the Master Cleansers of the Universe it would be the old Sonny and Cher classic, "I Got Sued, Babe." ("I got sued, babe. Dun duh, dun duh, dun duh, dun duh. I got sued, babe.") Yes, Brandi Glanville is facing a lawsuit from Adrienne the Queen of the Maloofs (which is a race of Skeletors that live under the mountain) because Brandi dared to speak the truth in public. This turned into a huge Housewives and Househusbands-wide fight over dinner at a Moroccan restaurant. (Contrary to what Taylor Armstrong thinks, Mo' Rockin is not what a band's tour bus needs, it is a style of cuisine found in Northern Africa.) Oh, what a sham this lawsuit is, and this fight is. But we have so much more to get to first. Oh yes we do.
First we had to watch a recap of Brandi's sitdown with Schaennaeiouandsometimesy that was really just an advertisement for Lisa's new show Car Vanderpump Where Are You? which, in case we forget, airs right after this here program that we are now discussing. After we saw the same scene we saw last week, Brandi went and talked to Lisa about it and Lisa was all, "How was talking about your ex-husband cheating on you with an employee of mine so that people will tune into my new show? Oh, you're crying. I can see you're feeling pain. Are you in pain? You are in pain. Sorry about that. Well, thank you for hurting yourself for my gain. But did you learn something? Of course you did. There there, sweetie. And thanks."
It kind of made me hate Lisa for a second, but then we got a tour of her going to her other restaurant Villa Blanca (whose chef is totally hot and Lisa made a joke about him having sex with Brandi, but after what Lisa made Brandi do for her ratings, that chef should be wearing nothing but an apron and be handcuffed to Brandi's stove when she gets home). I totally fell in love with Lisa the Boss all over again. I'm even more in love with Ken, who built her this giant pink swing that looks like it's from, you know, that painting, the one with the rich lady wearing pink in a swing and some guy pulling it. You know. This one. Exactly! That's what it looks like. He even planted a little garden underneath it, which wasn't a ton of work and he had a maid to help him, but considering that he just had his hip replaced he probably shouldn't have been kneeling in the dirt anyway.
But just when you think that Ken and Lisa are the most ridiculous rich people you've ever met in your life (he is a 70 year-old man wearing a tight pink Abercrombie shirt like he's going to Chicken Hawk night at BUNZ, Palm Springs' best gay bar) he tells us that he installed the swing because it reminds him of a swing they had in their first house, and he used to push Lisa when they first got married and it was their favorite thing. Aaaaaawwwwwww. We all want a husband just like Ken, don't we? Well, maybe one a little bit younger, who looks a bit less like Rod Stewart's hologram that will be playing Vegas starting in 2023, but just as rich, right? Of course right!
We Now Interrupt This Program to Bring You the Latest Episode of At Home With Yolanda Bananas Foster. Hi there, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for your favorite recap within a recap. This week we come to you straight from Yolanda's house, where she is teaching us how to do a Master Cleanse. First, you invite over a very attractive friend who is totally crazy and you invite her up into your lemon orchard. She tells you that she is scared of bees, and you say, "God, Kyle. You're afraid of flying, you're afraid of heights, you're afraid of being on a diving board, what the hell aren't you afraid of?" Next, you tell your friend how one day you were in the store and you saw a bottle of something and it said Master Cleanse, and you thought it said Master Race so you went back to take a second look and realized that it wasn't a eugenics potion but something that will make you skinny and free and beautiful. Even better? Anyway, Yolanda tried it and it was so good that it made a whole orchard of lemons grow in her yard. It was a Master Miracle™! The next step is you fill a basket (because who doesn't have like 30 baskets just lying around the house for your orchard activities) with lemons and then you go into the house. You juice the lemons, combine them with maple syrup and cayenne pepper, and then you're done! Now all you have to do is drink only that for two weeks and then your life will miraculously be Mastered. Oh, and there's one final step. You have to talk shit about your friend's sister to her face. You must do that or all positive benefits of being Cleansed will not hold. And that was all we learned last night on At Home With Yolanda Bananas Foster.
The only other house we have to visit before getting to the big party is the home of that peroxided can of mixed nuts Kim Richards. Oh, I love a visit to Kim Richard's home. (One day, when I am very rich, I am going to start the Kim Richards Home for Aloholics and Fast Teens.) First of all we get to meet Milton, Kim's "houseman." What does Kim need a houseman for? She has no real job and a tiny house. What does he do? Clean up the chicken salad on the kitchen floor after Kim mixes it up with her hands? We also get to meet her life coach, Dr. Philip. Dr. Philip is an old southern man with a tan, a mustache, and a bald head. He is not endorsed by Oprah, but he is the second Google result when you search "Please, Dr. Phil, Help Me" so he has taken on a large clientele in the greater Los Angeles area. Dr. Philip got his Life Coaching License while rehabilitating himself in the California State Penitentiary System, but ever since he was released he has been in charge of countless lives — there has only been one fatality, so he has a nearly sterling record. So, he comes over to give Kim advice. What does he tell her? Oh, who knows. It was a bunch of platitudes about making up with her sister so that she can move on. It's basically the same advice that anyone who has watched 20 seconds of this show could give her and none of us had to study out-of-date Life Coaching for Dummies books while serving 8-10 for grand larceny.
The things we learned about their childhood though, from both Kim and Kyle, were quite telling. When Kyle was little, she thought that Kim was magic. Because Kim was in the movies, Kyle thought that Kim could do anything, and if her mother told her "No" or didn't want to give her something, she figured Kim would provide. Kim was always providing for everyone. That was Kim's job. Kyle idolized her and wanted to be just like her, even though when they fought they would scratch and claw at each other, often drawing blood and leaving scars both visible and inside. As Kim grew up and couldn't provide anymore, her magic was gone. Disappointed in herself, Kim took to the drink. Disappointed in her sister, Kyle took to trying to bring back the magic by hectoring and scolding and trying to find her own wellspring of magic inside herself (she learned that while watching Practical Magic one night on TBS). And that is where the Sisters Richards are today, two witches who don't know how to use their magic except against each other, and each of them spending what little they have left of their youth and beauty to continue to cast spells. It's a sad fairy tale. Sadder even than Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.
OK, now we're finally to the big fight. Man, how am I going to break this down? Let's start with the problem and then we'll work our way around to the contenders. Alright, so Brandi shows and and tells Kyle and Fetch (better know as Marisa Zanuck who is never going to happen) that Adrienne is suing her. Well, not quite. According to Brandi's lawyer, who she had to pay $2000 she doesn't have to retain, Adrienne sent a letter saying that Brandi would be sued if she didn't come and sign some non-disclosure agreement saying that she wouldn't talk publicly about Adrienne and the rest of the Maloof royal family ever again. Brandi (and I) think that is bullshit. Once again Adrienne proves herself to be the worst kind of rich person. She is the kind of rich person who just has lawyers on the payroll sitting around looking at vintage baseball cards on eBay until Adrienne has some chore for them. She calls them up and they send some bullshit letters to Brandi who then has to go pay money to get a lawyer to defend herself. Not all of us have lawyers, and initializing legal action on someone who can hardly afford one is rich people's favorite kind of harassment and intimidation. What is Brandi supposed to do? Pay money for a lawyer she can't afford and fight it, or not pay for a lawyer and do whatever Adrienne says? This is why rich people always win. Because they can afford the lawyers.
Here is how everyone reacted to the news:
Brandi Glanville: Brandi is pissed that she had to get a lawyer, and while she has acknowledged that she shouldn't have said "the thing she said" (that Adrienne possibly potentially maybe or maybe not allegedly had her children via a surrogate) she doesn't think that she should be sued for saying something that was the truth. I agree with her. It's not like she lied, and it's not even that big a deal. This isn't Brandi's problem, it's Adrienne's.
Kyle Richards: Kyle didn't care so much but she wanted to know all the info so that she could tell other people about it and gossip. She was also very busy having a very deep conversation with her sister where Kim finally apologized for treating her like crap all those years when she was drinking, and Kyle teared up and told us that she has been waiting for ages for an apology from Kim and then when she finally got it, well, she didn't quite believe it. At least not yet. So Kyle had other things on her mind.
Kim Richards: Kim is on Adrienne's side because she is Adrienne's friend and she has been on the receiving end of one of Brandi's barbs before. Though they made up, Kim has no sympathy for Brandi and thinks she can't go around saying things that aren't true. As Brandi reminded Kim, what she said wasn't really untrue, it was just off-target. Kim does not understand this distinction.
Yolanda Bananas Foster: In a crossover with At Home With Yolanda Bananas Foster she showed up to tell us that her husband was rehearsing with Barbra Streisand and that she thinks that Brandi should just call Adrienne and work it out.
Taylor Armstrong: Deep into a Moroccan Margarita (this is just tequila in a glass), Taylor was feeling that she had to support all of her now-single sisters. She told Brandi that she had to stay strong and not leave when conflict erupted and stand her ground and fight for herself. She grabbed Brandi and St. Camille's hands like a 12-year-old about to say Grace, and she stood their ground with them. Um, Taylor, aren't you in a fight with Brandi? Anyway, Taylor also wants to start dating again but is having a hard time forgiving Russell. She says her whole life was a lie and then tells a lie about how her daughter wants to ride on their plane again. Can I hug Taylor with one arm while ripping out her hair with the other?
St. Camille of Grammer: She offered Taylor absolution.
MMMmmmmm Richards: Why was Kyle's husband being a dick? Usually he stays out of these fights but he has some sort of problem with Brandi. I can see why. Brandi didn't help it when, cornered and frustrated, she told MMMmmmmm to, and I quote, "fuck off." Anyway, MMMmmmm is saying that Brandi should just call Adrienne and apologize and this will all go away, and he seems to think that she has not even tried. MMMmmmm is being very staunch in his position, though he seems to have absolutely no facts as to what Brandi has or has not done to assuage the situation, nor what Adrienne has done to her to start it in the first place. Usually he tries to not even bother with these skirmishes, so now he is going to ignore everything up until this point and then totally facilitate an argument he has no point joining in the first place. He is being a jerk.
Kenn Vanderpump: Kenn, as Brandi's flirting buddy, defends her to MMMmmmm, who are in a fight of their own about the matter. Sure Kenn says, "She has no man to protect her," which is kind of condescending, but I get what he's trying to say. He's trying to say that Adrienne is using her money and her lawyers to intimidate and possibly bankrupt Brandi so that Brandi will be forced to keep her secrets, a position that Brandi should not be in. She may not need a man, necessarily, to defend her, but she needs someone. If she just calls and apologizes, then Adrienne gets what she wants. Also, if all Adrienne wanted was an apology and the two of them could work this out over a "contrition lunch" then why did she initiate legal proceedings in the first place. Kenn is right, MMMmmmmm is being too simplistic.
Lisa Vanderpump: She's pissed that, while everyone is getting all upset about what Brandi said about Andrienne no one defended her when Adrienne accused her of selling stories. MMMmmmm replied "Who cares about that?" Lisa does! Also, who cares if Lisa possibly in an alternative universe and not in the cannon had babies with a surrogate?
Marisa Zanuck: There was all this fighting, screaming back and forth in a tiled room and the echos carried ever so far. The back half of the room wasn't empty so much as abandoned, as if you could see that there should be people there, that there would normally be people there, but there wouldn't be tonight. Tonight they were gone. Tonight it was time for the ladies. Marisa had planned this dinner with Kyle after their Faye Resnick dinner went so horribly awry. But now this was too. This was all just becoming such a mess. She didn't know what to make of this, all these long simmering resentments and petty squabbles combined in one big pot, like some sort of giant stew. Is stew Morraccan? Marisa didn't think so. And she had nothing to say. She just watched the fight go back and forth, back and forth, her head pivoting like a lazy Susan caught in a crosswind. "Excuse me, I'll be right back," she said, running to the ladies' room with her purse, her Arabian gown shimmering in a flow behind her.
She put her purse down on the vanity in front of the mirror and looked down at it. So many tiles, white and blue and grey and maroon. So many colors in this mosaic. It must have taken so long, so much hard work. Days and weeks of labor by some underpaid workers and, for what. For this. For her to rest her handbag on it while those privledged fuckers fight outside about silly lawsuits. She turned on the faucet, not to use the water, but because she felt like she had to do something. She looked up as the door opened and it was her husband Dean. Tall, handsome, sturdy, dependable Dean. He turned around and locked the door behind him.
"Dean!" Marisa yelled, "you..." "Are you alright?" he asked, with a look that showed both concern and frustration. "Yeah," she said. "I'm fine. It's just..."
"Well. I don't know..."
"I don't know if I want to do this anymore." She laid her hands on his chest, his smooth firm chest, and looked up into his eyes like he had the answer. He always had the answer.
"You don't have to if you don't want it. It's up to you. This whole fight seems ridiculous."
"I know. But I wanted it."
"I know you did," he said leaning down to kiss her and then she surprised him. She pulled his head into hers and turned would should have been just a kiss into something more. Something deeper. They kissed and kissed and she finally felt it, a connection. That is what she needed, just to be out of that swamp of despair and here, secreted away with the man she loves.
"Now," she said. He looked around at the empty room. "Now?" She nodded and hopped up on the counter, the cool tile warming up as she raised her legs up in the air. He undid his pants and got closer, embracing her once again. "I love you," he said and she just groaned. She put one hand on him and the other on the counter, feeling the rough edges beneath her palm. In this moment she was really glad for those workers and she felt this was an apt tribute. This is what she had to give. She wanted to bring love into the world, and this was the only way she knew how.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Brandi Glanville Is Not Having It
'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: The Moral Corruption of Faye Resnick
'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Adrienne Maloof Has Got a Secret
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The 49-year-old native, who has filmed the hit crime thriller in the state since 2008, will transition into politics when the series wraps up later this year (13).
Quezada is running unopposed to represent a newly-created district in the city's growing West Side, where three of his children are currently enrolled in school.
He tells ABCNews.com, "This is my home and where I want to work. We're hurting out here and we need people who can go out and engage our community. I think it's my destiny to do that... I believe I'm in a position to help kids and my community. Education is the best way to ensure our future."
The director of communications for Albuquerque Public Schools, Monica Armenta, insists the community is excited about having the actor on board, adding, "Breaking Bad is a coveted show in this part of New Mexico and is highly acclaimed. Whenever you have someone that high profiled really interested in learning about education, it's great."
There are many great things you can say about Brandi Glanville, the anti-hero of The Real Hornets Nest of Tiahoga Bluff.
You could say that she is beautiful. You could say that she is tall. You could say that she is blunt. Those are all true. But the most true — the truest — is that she is not having it.
No, Brandi Glanville is never having it, not for one moment. She does not care what it is, she does not want one (unless, of course, "it" is a glass of white wine, a book deal, a Xanax, a large penis, or a fur vest, then not only will she have it, but she will have several, as many as she can possibly handle until her hands fall off).
And there was a lot of "it" heading Brandi's way last night. First of all we had to deal with the continued fallout of the morally corrupt Faye Resnick, who is potentially the worst person who has ever been on a Real Snatchsnatchers show. She is just a puddle of darkness turned into a toxic pudding and then set loose on the world.
She hammers after Brandi for God knows what reason and then won't apologize for it. Brandi uncharacteristically leaves the house and goes outside, we assume to leave the party for good, but no.
She pulls a page from the Reality Television Guide to Fighting and Confrontational Ethics and just hangs outside the party waiting for someone to come outside and talk to her, watch her cry, and try to convince her to come back inside.
Of course, Kyle Richards, who thinks everything can be fixed with a wink and a whisper, falls for the trap. Lisa, Brandi's one ally, joins the two and they all sit on the curb in their dresses, mostly cast offs from bridal parties they were in back in the '90s. See, they did wear that dress again.
Brandi is inconsolable because she didn't want to be ganged up on at yet another Real Headbangers party, which is what always seems to happen to her when she goes to one of these events.
Usually she fights because, as we know, she is not having it, but tonight she did not. She knew where this was going. They were on the Acela to Screamtown and Faye Resnick was in the club car just swirling some brown liquor in the bottom of a crystal glass waiting to punch Brandi's ticket.
Brandi wanted to get off, she did not want to do this again. For once she just wanted someone to understand. So there they sit on the curb, Kyle, Brandi, and Lisa, like three glitzy monkeys: See No Evil, Speak Evil When Evil Comes for You, and If You're Gonna Be Evil Come Sit By Me.
The other time Brandi wasn't having it this episode was when Lisa finally orchestrated a Meeting in the Hall of Mirrors between the warring states of Brandi Glanville and that whore Shaennaeiouandsometimesy (seriously, this girl has never met a vowel she didn't like).
Shaennaeiouandsometimesy not only used to sleep with Brandi's ex-husband — talking abdominal muscle Eddie Cibrian — it seems like the two carried out quite a prolonged relationship, all while Eddie was married to Brandi and she was pregnant with their second child.
Brandi didn't want to have this sit down but after consulting St. Camille, the Sybil of Grammer, she decided that it might provide some closure.
But that wasn't the real reason. Shaennaeiouandsometimesy is on Vanderpump Knows Best, a new Bravo television programme, so this was a nice introduction to that show.
Yes, Brandi put herself in an emotionally vulnerable place so that her friend Lisa, who is an executive producer on the show that bears her last name, could be a success.
Lisa is literally profiting from Brandi's pain. I gotta say, the integration of My Three Vanderpumps was some next level genius shit from Mr. Andrew Cohen and the suits (and skirts) at Bravo.
First of all, Shaennaeiouandsometimesy gets up from her sit down with Brandi and then walks into the back and starts talking to the other waitresses.
Then Lisa comes out and talks to her about the discussion and it looks like the Housewives, but something is a little off. The resolution is a bit better and the lighting is sunnier, crisper. Then, there's the title: The Vander Bunch and we have been successfully snookered.
They dragged every single one of us right into a new show without even telling us that the show we wanted to watch was over. And if that wasn't enough, they made the whole thing a two hour episode of Real Branding Platforms of CitiBank Pavillion so that our DVRs automatically recorded the first episode of The Facts of Vanderpump without even being told to do so. Genius. Diabolical genius.
As for what actually went down at their little detente, well, Brandi (everyone together now!) wasn't having it. Oh hell no. Shaennaeiouandsometimesy sits down and starts crying and Brandi says, "I'm the one who lost everything.
If someone is going to cry right now, it's not going to be you." Brandi took a purse full of snaps, dumped them out over the top of this little whiny girl's head and watched her drown in them.
Brandi did not have it, not even for a second. Then she sat there and continued to entertain this stupid little girl (who, for the record, is not nearly as hot as Brandi) without punching her in the face. She didn't let her get away with anything and told Vowel Salad that she should have known better and that she was hurting someone.
But in the end, Brandi is a good and generous soul, and told her that Eddie was going to cheat no matter what, and that she doesn't hate Shaennaeiouandsometimesy and that she shouldn't be afraid of Brandi. See, Brandi is not having it so much that she will have it. She's amazing.
Oh, and she called Faye Resnick a "chick with a dick," which probably isn't accurate (and not helping Brandi gain any friends) but it was really freakin' funny.
We now pause a moment to bring you the latest installment of Living at Home With Yolanda Bananas Foster. Yolanda visits her enormous masterpiece of a refrigerator (seriously, that thing is like a Vermeer) and pulls out some ingredients and talks to the kids about how important it is to eat dinner together and how it's important to model rather than play volleyball because playing volleyball will give you giant man shoulders and then no one will ever find you desirable again ever.
She tells the children that she bought them a horse to learn responsibility, because giving them chores or getting them a paper route isn't sufficient. Here comes her husband, David Foster Wallace, who looks like a goldfish peering out of a plastic bag and is entirely awful. He sits down at the kitchen island and Yolanda, always the most proper person in the room, sits on the counter and puts her feet in the sink and eats her plate of pasta off her lap. Yes she put her feet in the sink to eat dinner.
Let me say that one more time so you can grasp the magnitude of what she did. She put her feet in the sink so that she could eat dinner. Oh, Yolanda, there is a reason you never leave the house to play reindeer games with the other ladies, isn't there? Yes there is.
Speaking of new ladies, I think I'm going to start calling Marisa Zanuck "Fetch" because she is never going to happen. (Also, as far as cast members go, she's kind of a dog — not like an ugly dog, just kind of lame). So Marisa comes over for a yoga date with Kyle and her yoga instructor, Mark.
This is great because usually the ladies go on activities and then the person they're engaging with leaves them after 20 minutes so they can just sit there and talk about nonsense. Kyle and Marisa don't really want to do yoga, they just want to talk shit about all the other Housewives.
Mark, well, he is there to do yoga. He is very serious. Mark is like, "Um, can you play attention please?" but they cannot and then he's like, "Why don't you stop talking about these stupid bitches and get into Warrior Two," and finally he's like, "You ladies are all stupid and you are disrespecting my yoga." Good for Mark.
We didn't get to see any of my beloved Kim Richards last night, but we did hear that Kyle is pissed at her because Kim is pissed that Kyle didn't come to Chad's birthday party which Kyle says she wasn't invited to. Phew. Get all that? Kyle says she thought that once Kim got sober everything would be fine, but it's not. No duh, Kyle.
That's because the problem wasn't Kim's alcoholism. Well, that was part of the problem.
The other part of the problem is that Kyle can be a narcissistic tornado of need. Now that one part of the problem is fixed, the other part of the problem needs to be fixed before there's no problem at all. That is just math. That Kyle doesn't even realize that she has to change how she treats her sister just shows why there is a problem in the first place. Also that she is bad at math.
Now we have to talk about Taylor. Oh man, Taylor. First of all she was visited by some sort of clairvoyant/mystic named Alisha. She is absolutely nuts. She shows up with one of those smiles that just means trouble.
It's not a real smile like she's actually happy, and it's not a fake smile that means she's trying to pretend to be happy. It's a smile that is not found in nature and that means that she is no stranger to the DSM IV. It's like she's smiling about something only she sees, and it's not good.
She tells Taylor, "Oh, I came because I have some really great news for you. Something is going to change. Something good is going to happen..." "My lawsuit is going to settle?" "Yes! That's exactly it. That is precisely what I saw. Yes, your lawsuit is going to settle. Here, suck on this ointment. Yeah, really rub it on your lips." Alisha closes her eyes while they both digest the serum and she keeps scrunching her face and shaking her head no like she is telling the devil that lives on her shoulder that, no, she is not going to stab anyone today.
It's freaky. Even Taylor thinks its freaky, and we've all seen the way she eats cotton candy.
Then Alisha gets up and starts asking questions and flailing around the room like a bird with one wing caught in a window. "Father no!" she shouts looking directly up into the air. "Father no!" she shouts bucking to the right, her arm extended. "Father yes!" she shouts bucking to the left and then grasping Taylor's wrist in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable. That's when I realized that Alisha is not a psychic.
No, she is just a person with Tourette's. That's all she is. She is twisting and turning and shouting and ticcing and that makes her look crazy. So she just tells people she does these things because she knows about the energy of the universe and then they give her money. That's quite a scam. I wonder how much Taylor had to pay for the two of them running around the house ringing a bell and squirting a spray bottle? $300? Damn. Good scam.
Now to end our little stroll down the sidewalk of sadness with Miss Taylor Armstrong, we need to discuss her lawsuit. Well, that and the fact that she invited everyone to dinner at the conference room of the Hyatt in Sherman Oaks with overstuffed brown chairs and pretended like it was a posh restaurant.
Oh, and that she brought her lawyer as her date, just like that one party where she invited her doctor as her date. Thank god Taylor started doing her nails at home, or else her manicurist would be at her left side at every dinner party for the rest of eternity.
Anyway, Taylor had some shady "$1.5 million dollar lawsuit" and we do not know what it was about, but that it was with some former friend of Taylor and Russell's and that when Russell originally settled the lawsuit one of the stipulations was that Taylor be held liable too. This sounds super shady. This does not sound like a real lawsuit. This sounds like some crazy shit that someone makes up to explain why they don't have any money and it's all a lie.
Then, we find out from Taylor's lawyer that the settlement is that Taylor has to give up her wedding ring and two of her Hermes bags. OK, that is not a settlement. Sure, Taylor has no money and no assets and lives in a rented house, but no one says, "I'll go away for a 10 carat ring and two $10K handbags."
Sure, both of those assets are worth a lot of money, but a real person would say, "Sell the ring and the bags and then give us the cash." No, this is some sort of extortion. This is some sort of shadiness. This might even be some sort of elaborate excuse as to why Taylor had to pawn her ring and two of her bags to pay off her bills. Who knows.
It's all, well, it's all very troublesome and not very well explained which makes us think it's even more troublesome. If it was simple and made sense, then she could just spell it out for all of us and we would get it, but we don't.
So Taylor leaves the Hyatt with her lawyer and he drops her off out in front of the house and she walks up the pave stones to the front door and the motion sense light snaps on before she gets there, casting harsh shadows across her face and temporarily blinding her.
Another night home, she thinks. Another night home. She goes in and there are pleasantries with the nanny and a status update on Kennedy who is upstairs asleep. Taylor thanks the nanny and says that she'll see her next Tuesday. She takes off her heels and pads up the chilly stairs and turns left where Kennedy's door is slightly ajar. She lets herself in, careful not to creak the door too loudly or step on anything.
She just wants to watch her sleep. She just wants to see her there in her pink pajamas, slowly inflating and deflating there in the slanted light from the outside. The motion sense light snaps off and it gets just a shade darker.
Taylor's eyes take a minute to adjust and she watches Kennedy for a few more breaths, in and out, and then goes to Kennedy's closet.
She moves the carpet over and underneath there is a board that she fishes out by digging her nails into the side. Underneath there is money. Stacks of it. Piles of it. It's her "trust fund" that Russell was supposed to leave her. Ha! She thinks.
Not much left now, but the pile only looks small because she knew how large it once was. She takes a stack of 20s packed in a rapper and slips it into the pocket of her blazer and goes to put the board back but it slips from her fingers and lands with a thud. "Mommy," Kennedy says from the bed, "What are you doing?"
Taylor puts the rug back and stands up slowly, screwing a smile into her face. "Nothing sweetie," she says. "Go back to bed. Mommy's just making sure everything will be OK."
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
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There's just something about dog movies. No matter who you are, what you've been through, or how thick a slab of stone you have in place of a beating heart, all you have to do is watch any movie about a faithful canine pledging love to a misguided human, and you've got a guaranteed supply of waterworks. The comedy/drama Red Dog upholds this tradition, inspiring tearful eyes and quivering chins with its story about the "most famous dog in Australia." Josh Lucas stars in the picture as an American truck driver who, while looking for work in the Australian outback, takes up an unexpected friendship with the titular canine — a Kelpie who made his home among the laborers of the Dampier Port, and then traveled across the continent in search of his owner when he goes missing. And believe it or not, this fantastic tale is a true story.
"They know the dog literally went all over Australia," Lucas tells Hollywood.com. "They have photographs as far down as Perth, and all the way to Sidney and Melbourne. Really, all over the map ... [Red Dog writer Daniel Taplitz] said that the only thing that he knows is not precisely true was that they don’t actually have any proof that the dog made it all the way to Japan [which he does in the film]. I was like, ‘Really? That’s it?’"
It's not only the trek to which the film stays true, but the spirit of the dog himself. Lucas recounts meeting with some of the older laborers who knew the real Red Dog, and hearing stories about his presence in their community. "I kept finding these people that would show me a photograph of Red Dog with a cigarette in his mouth and a beer in his paw, passed out asleep in their beds ... They’d say, ‘You’d be pissed off because you’d come home and Red Dog would be in your bed.’ You’d be like, ‘Well, why didn’t you just kick him out?’ And they’re like, ‘Oh, no. You’d never kick Red Dog out.’" Lucas laughed about this kingship the dog seemed to hold.
"Anytime Red Dog paid you a visit," he continues, "he was the honorary king. You had to give him all your food, and he slept in your bed, and had terrible gas. But everyone loved him so much, and everyone had their own special feeling that they were special to him as well. I thought that that was the most beautiful of it all."
That was one of Lucas' favorite elements of the movie. "[The movie] captures how people kind of yearn to be ‘the special one’ for the dog as well. That’s kind of the fun of this movie, too." So why was it, that with all these people out to win him over, Red Dog took specifically to Lucas' character John Grant (based on the real life John Stazzonelli)?
"[John] had come to that part of the Northwest territory," Lucas explains, "and felt like an outsider for quite a while. Australia — particularly in that time, and particularly in some of those outback communities — it would be a little bit forbidding and tough if you were not from that part of the world. There was a real… not fear of outsiders, but there was a real community-based thing. ‘We are Australians.’ ... And when John showed up on his motorcycle, it took him been quite a while. Red Dog was the one who broke the ice for him. And no one knows why he chose John."
But Lucas has his theories: "Everything I understand about Red Dog is that he was mysterious in ways. He was always the life of the party, but he also had this odd sensitivity to him ... He seemed to understand when people were in pain or hurting. He would sort of be there for them ... When John showed up, he was really a loner. He was really a guy on his own ... [He and Red Dog] definitely were bonded from the second that they met."
It is appropriate that Lucas would take on the role of John, the only man to whom the free spirited Red Dog pledges undying loyalty, as the actor himself is a devoted dog lover. "I really understood that love that so many people have for their animals," Lucas tells Hollywood.com, referring to his experience reading the script. "And how an animal can really impact a family or a community in such a way ... The movie really captured what I feel is that truly special connection that between an animal and a person. And in this case, a whole community.... I’ve had a couple of dogs in my life. All rescues. I’ve really always had that love, wild love, for the dogs."
Lucas even proved his devotion to the canine species with a sweet story from his childhood: "My mom was reminding me when she saw this movie, the first dog we found, he was abandoned at a ferry terminal in Washington State. And he and I slept outside for a year straight — every single night for a year, when I was fourteen years old."
The Red Dog star continues to share his life with a canine companion: "I have this fantastic relationship with my dog, who I’d rescued from a shelter in Harlem a number of years ago ... My dog now, he’s just a deep soul. He’s a very profound guy. Looks you right in the eye and seems to connect with everybody who he meets. In a way, a little bit like Red Dog."
So what it is about dogs that Lucas thinks is so magical? "Dogs have no ulterior motives," he says. "That’s it. There’s nothing about a dog other than loyalty and love. All they want is to be treated right, scratched, and fed a little bit, and they’ll die for you. I think that’s what people connect to. Their dogs are never doing anything for selfish reasons. There’s just something about dogs that people have, sometimes, the best relationships of their lives — more than their own children or their own families."
However, as much as Lucas loves dogs and was enamored by his Red Dog costar Koko, he has to admit that Koko was not quite cut out for show business. "Koko was incredibly difficult to work with because he hated acting. He hated it!" Lucas says. "His whole thing was, he would do it right once, and then, ‘Why would I want to do it again, man? I already did it!’ Then he would take off running. He would just bolt running. Obviously, it’s a movie; you have to do it over and over and over again. He was just like, ‘Nope. Done.’ And go run as hard as he could back to his cage. They retired Koko from acting the minute the movie was finished, and he’ll never act again."
But it was the dog's audition tape (which you can watch below) that helped to convince Lucas to sign on for the film in the first place. "I had gotten a phone call from my agent, saying, ‘There’s a chance that an actor is falling out of this project in Australia. And if you like the movie, you might have to go tomorrow,'" Lucas recalls. "I was like, ‘Really? Tomorrow? Australia? That’s a little bit much.’" But the script, and the involvement of Koko, were enough to bring him on board. "I read, honestly, the first 20 pages, and I liked it so much ... After 20 pages, I was like, ‘I want to do this.’ And then I saw — I don’t know if you’ve seen this thing on YouTube, you can look it up — the audition of Koko. The dog who plays Red Dog. And it’s great. It made me instantly fall in love with the dog."
The setting also contributed to Lucas' interest. "they showed these images of the place where they were going to film. Out in way remote Australia, where the movie takes place. I had been lucky and traveled through sections of Australia over the years; I’ve known so few people who have ever been to this place out in the middle of nowhere. It looked so beautiful. And knowing that no movie had ever been made there before, and that they were going to tackle this difficult land. Because the land, really, is forbidden. You only go there if you’re part of the mines. There’s no water. The land is literally made of metal. Truly incredible place."
And clearly, it all paid off: "So, all of it kind of came together. I was literally on an airplane the next day. I had one of the best experiences I’ve had making a movie out there."
Red Dog is now available on Blu-ray/DVD in the United States.
[Photo Credit: Roadshow Film Distributors]
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