In the latest episode of Real Housewives of New York City, the ladies seem like they may be taking a brief trip down to the Valley of the Dolls (and packing a lot of pharmaceuticals for the trip). There is something real and entertaining about New York City, pills and all. But the special guest appearance of Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Foster brings out the Beverly Hills in the Manhattan women.
The episode begins with Ramona Singer, the Eyelander, returning from her trip to Africa. It seems like she traveled by way of Darvocet as she literally stumbles into the party. Heather Thomson is shockingly excited to see her considering how much they fought last season. (Is that a Zoloft hug?) Heather is hawking jewelry but for a worthwhile charity. Despite her ghetto posturing, Heather seems the most real and her struggles with her son’s health issues are heartwarming. She tells Ramona about her beef with Aviva Drescher from last week. However, Ramona is suddenly team Aviva despite not the two having spent a year not speaking to each other. It’s strange Heather is uninviting Aviva from her anniversary party after she didn’t invite Ramona to London last season. Hello, hypocrisy.
Sonja Morgan arrives at the party with a stunning body. Looks like she’s a Dexetrim spokesperson. She is also surprisingly alert. Ramona recounts a story of two lions mating when desperate LuAnn Lesseps stops by to greet her. It’s a subtle reminder that to LuAnn that she is no longer welcome in conversations with Ramona. She comes second to lion mating. Meanwhile, Carole Radziwill discusses orgasms with LuAnn’s boyfriend Jacques and oral sex contracts with Kristin Taekman and her husband.
In boring product placement news, Aviva, Sonja, and Ramona meet at a store that sells containers to go shopping. Meanwhile, Heather hires Kristen to model for her shapewear line. Ramona tries to negotiate a détente. Cut to Kristen and Carole meeting Heather’s husband Jonathan to help him pick out caviar for their anniversary. Meanwhile, starving children in Africa are wondering if Carole had a ghostwriter. Watching Carole scowl as she eats caviar is cruel and unusual punishment. An unabashed conversation about threesomes is not enough to save this entire scene from the Downton Abbey-level class insensitivity.
The confrontation finally arrives. Heather comes in, guns-a-blazin' to deal with Aviva. To put her opponent off she has elected use a weird folksy southern drawl, dropping a lot of y’alls and darlins. Aviva — trained by her all-female improv group Girls Just Want to Have Puns — does nothing but ask questions. Things get kooky and dramatic as they debate Anna Nicole Smith, name-dropping colleges vs. name-dropping rappers, and BookGate. They make peace because Aviva doesn’t is scared because she believe Heather shot Coolio.
Speaking of pills, Ramona and her soon-to-be ex-husband Mario discuss Avery going off to college. Maneater Carole and Kristen decide to have a boozy brunch with ex-substance abuser Brandi and fellow Beverly Hills housewife Yolanda. Carole confesses she took a Xanax (which, in Upper West Side Elfish, means seven Xanax), two klonopin, and a can of Ensure. They discuss Kristen nearly cheating on her husband with an Elvis impersonator at her bachelorette party. It seems like her marriage is on its last legs. Between their not having sex and their constant bickering, here’s hoping there’s a pre-nup.
Heather’s party arrives and is sponsored, shamelessly, by Ciroc. Ramona and Sonja boycott because Aviva wasn’t invited. Meanwhile, Heather shows up fighting with her husband. Heather takes a long break from celebrating her wedding anniversary by trashing Ramona and her “Singer Stinger.” Coincidentally, Ramona was born with an enlarged coccyx... so that’s really insensitive, Heather! Heather gets her caviar and they all close out the night dancing around awkwardly, junior prom-style. Did they all take a few tablets of E?
Best Lines of the Episode
"Did I scream? Did I yell? Did I call you names? I just took it up the butt." – Aviva
"I never verbally raped Aviva. She’s the one who verbally rapes people. I keep it real. If you don’t want to hear the truth then you better not invite me to the party." – Heather
"You want to ask me one more time 'cause you’re so f**king dramatic?" – Heather
"That’s my career. Why don’t you get a job?" – Heather
"You say you don’t have to defend Carole. Are you guys lovers?" – Aviva
"I’m worried that Josh and Kristen are going to hit a rough patch. She should probably just practice blowies. That’s what men really want, don’t they? They don’t call it a job for nothing." – Carole’s personal widow’s guide to sex and dating
"You’re still married and I’m getting divorced." – Kristen
"Holla that b**ches!" – Heather reading our minds
Hall & Oates star John Oates has teamed up with rockers Hot Chelle Rae for a new single. The quartet provides backing for the Maneater hitmaker's new single, High Maintenance.
Oates says, "What I really was excited about was to get to experience the way they make a record. I wanted them to produce me. I wanted to jump into their world and see how a modern pop band really makes their records."
High Maintenance is the lead single from Oates' forthcoming Good Road to Follow album.
The 1980s star is planning to release a single each month from the project, which also includes a collaboration with country singer Vince Gill.
The 56 year old has been tipped for the part of Elena, an older housewife who first seduces leading man Christian Grey and introduces him to the world of bondage.
Cattrall confirms she has heard reports she is going up against Uma Thurman for the job, and admits she hasn't ruled out tackling another saucy character after playing maneater Samantha Jones in the Sex And The City franchise.
She tells Australia's The Kyle and Jackie O Show, "As far as I've heard, it's between me... I'm duking it out, unintentionally, in people's minds with Uma Thurman at the moment! That's based on a lot of people's blogs and desires. As far as I know they are just writing the script so I think the casting process is a little bit further down the pipe than it is now."
The actress insists she is amazed by the success of author E.L. James' Fifty Shades trilogy, adding, "It's been such a sensation, truly extraordinary. Women especially are getting it on their Kindles (electronic book devices) so nobody knows what they're reading."
It's not what it sounds like. Really. Sofia Vergara's 19-year-old son, Manolo did film his Modern Family mom wearing only a diamond choker, strapless leather bustier, and fishnet stockings, but the sexy get-up was for her movie role in next year's sequel to 2010's Machete. And the video is for an episode of his new YouTube series, Mi Vida Con Toty (translation: My Life with Toty — "Toty" being his mom's nickname), which gives a look at his life with his famous mother.
In the video, Manolo takes viewers behind-the-scenes of the Robert Rodriguez sequel, Machete Kills, where his mom will play a Mexican madam named "Maneater". The sequel — which once again stars Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez — follows Machete, who has been given a mission by the President of the United States (played by Charlie Sheen!) to take down a Mexican cartel leader who is threatening to fire a missile on the U.S.
Check out the video of Vergara in her all-black ensemble. The only thing hotter than that supposed missile.
Photo Credit: Daily Celeb
Jessica Alba Reveals Her 'Machete Kills' Snapshots — PICS
'Modern Family' Season Finale React: Shes Having My Baby
Sofia Vergara in 'Machete Kills': Prepare for New Levels of Accentry
The big screen adaptation of author Pete Dexter's book of the same name was met with mixed reviews when the Precious filmmaker premiered the crime thriller at the film festival in France on Thursday (24May12), and many reporters admitted they were turned off by the sight of the Oscar winner relieving herself on Efron.
In a post on Twitter.com, Empire magazine writer Nick de Semlyen writes: "Did not wake up today expecting to almost instantly see Nicole Kidman p**sing on Zac Efron's face. Thanks for that, The Paperboy."
In a press conference following the premiere, Daniels played down the fuss the scene caused, insisting it was only being turned into a big deal because it is a known sexual fetish.
However, he failed to reveal whether Kidman had actually peed on the actor for real.
He told AFP, "I'm not here to please everybody - I'm here to tell truth. Jellyfish cure is by urinating on the skin; that is just the way Pete Dexter wrote the book; I executed the vision."
And co-star John Cusack couldn't believe members of the press were upset by the sequence, adding, "Of all the things in the movie that are shocking, that was kind of a light scene!"
The Paperboy follows Matthew McConaughey's reporter character Ward, who returns to his native Florida to uncover the truth about a death row inmate (Cusack) he's convinced was wrongly convicted of murder. Efron plays McConaughey's teenage brother, who embarks on a brief love affair with local maneater Charlotte (Kidman) as they help Ward uncover the truth.
The music video for Till The World Ends (the Ke$ha-written song off of Britney Spears' new album, Femme Fatal) is out! It features themes from all of the artists that have been making music while Britney was driving with her babies in the front seat with her and using umbrellas incorrectly, like the leotards of Lady Gaga and the underground terrains and arenas that we saw in Nelly Furtado's Maneater. This video (below) is rumored to be the director's cut, as numerous websites reported that two versions were shot: one where the storyline revolves around the apocalypse, while the other one was to be the "unabridged version of Britney's dance moves."
But in terms of what we have, it's not bad. One of the things we can't criticize it for is the lack of physicality (New York Magazine has made fantastic observations that 1) Britney bobs around and throws her head back to convey energy, and 2) her back-up dancers' jobs are to basically keep her upright) because apparently we're going to get that from the other video. It's also become clear that she's quite a fan of doing that thing where you thrust your upper body forward and then ratchet it back, the way you when you're gagging...just faster and while smiling. So for what we have, Till The World Ends Part A is viewable. I'm not one to commend its basic theme of the world crumbling while people are scrambling to go down manholes so they can survive the destruction while enjoying an underground dance party with studded leather jackets. But it seems like if the inclinations to think and understand are suspended, it's fine.
The actress shot to international stardom when she landed the role of maneater Samantha Jones in the hugely popular TV show.
She reprised the part for two spin-off movies, but admits she finds fame a burden, especially when she is approached by strangers in her free time.
Cattrall tells Britain's Daily Mail, "I try not to be rude to fans but I need to have boundaries. Recently I was enjoying a quiet lunch in Liverpool (England) with a friend I haven't seen in a long while.
"This guy approaches our table, clearly the worse for drink. He says, 'C'mon, stand up - I want a photo with you.' My response was, 'I won't do it. I'm not working right now, this is my time.'
"I don't like to be put in a position where I'm made to feel like I've just arrived in Disneyland dressed as Mickey Mouse and my duty is to pose with complete strangers."
The 53 year old became famous for her saucy role as maneater Samantha Jones in the Sex and the City TV series, which saw her disrobe to act out graphic sexual scenarios on a regular basis.
Cattrall has continued the character in two movies, but she's adamant fans hoping to see her strip onscreen in Sex and the City 2 will be disappointed.
She says, "When I turned 50, I decided that I didn't want to be photographed nude anymore, so you don't really see me nude (in the new movie), you see me doing maybe a physical, a sexual act, but there's no part of my body that is exposed. I don't consider these sex scenes, I consider them comedic opportunities because all of these romps that Samantha goes on are funny. They're mostly about looks and dialogue than they are about any kind of sexuality or sexual act and they always have been."
The actress' cocktail-swilling journalist alter-ego has come bottom of a poll conducted by Pincer Vodka, to mark forthcoming movie sequel Sex and the City 2.
Kristin Davis' conservative art dealer Charlotte York is the surprising winner, ahead of flamboyant maneater Samantha Jones - played by Kim Cattrall.
Cynthia Nixon's redhead lawyer Miranda Hobbes claimed fourth place, relegating Bradshaw to fourth, and last, place.
Pincer Vodka CEO Jonathan Engels said: “We were stunned with the outcome of the poll and we suspect Sarah Jessica Parker might need more than one Cosmopolitan to drown her sorrows.”
The blonde siren rejuvenated her career playing witty maneater Samantha Jones in the hit TV series, and went on to bring the character to life on the big screen in the first movie outing and its upcoming sequel.
But the 53 year old admits new acquaintances can be left disappointed after meeting her, because she is nothing like her sex-mad character.
She tells Britain's Stella magazine, "I do feel I tend to disappoint people when I'm being me. They often want me to have bon mot (witty remark) or to say something outrageous.
"But, you know, those are lines that I learnt. I didn't make them up. I have my own funny stories - except that people don't always think they're very funny. Samantha is bigger than life, whereas I live in the real world."
Two city couples on a camping trip become the prey for a pair of hungry tigers set on them by a mad animal trainer, in this film not only written by Vince Edwards but marking his TV-movie directorial debut.