Aziz Ansari’s Netflix stand-up special Buried Alive premiered earlier this month and if you haven’t seen it yet, please pull up a tab for Netflix immediately! The Parks and Recreation star does not disappoint, as he waxes poetic on all of the frightening aspects of growing up: marriage, children, and everything in between. Here are a few things we learned from our time with the one and only Aziz.
Marriage Is Creepy
Aziz raises some very strong points here. Vowing to hang out with someone until either you or he/she dies is pretty scary. But Aziz makes it clear in other parts of the movie that this is one creepy right that should be enjoyed by all of us.
Children Are Creepy
Aziz opens up his special by breaking down the insanity of people having babies: "I’m so sorry that happened! You’re gonna have to take care of that thing forever!" And for the record, he’s not impressed with birth announcements or your adorable videos of little Brian’s first steps.
The World Would Be A Better Place If We All Acted Like A Black Guy At A Magic Show
Black dudes being blown away by magic tricks is, apparently, the comedian’s favorite racial stereotype ever. According to Aziz, we could all learn an important lesson in how to treat things we don’t understand from black dudes interacting with magicians. Take a few steps back, and just be amazed.
These actors have shaken us to the core with their gravitas on screen, but they've also shaken us with laughter. While they normally play kings, soldiers, gangsters and Shakespearean characters, once in a while they'll play best friends to teddy bears and over-the-top agents with intense arm hair. And they play both ends of the spectrum just as convincingly. Just think about how Steve Buscemi played Nucky on Boardwalk Empire and magician sidekick Anton Marvelton in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone at the same time and nobody batted an eye. In other words, these might be the perfect actors.
Sir Patrick Stewart may be best known for playing Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation, or for his stage roles in Shakespearean classics like MacBeth, The Tempest, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. Recently, however, Sir Stewart has emerged as somewhat of a viral video darling, wowing us with his quadruple-take acting lessons and endearing us by sharing his first experience with pizza. In 2005, he made one of the funniest and most memorable cameos on Ricky Gervais's Extras, in which he's obsessed with seeing women naked.
When you think Tom Cruise, you probably first think action star, and then maybe dramatic actor (and then maybe crazy Scientologist), but before 2008's Tropic Thunder, you probably would have never thought overweight, balding, sleazy studio executive. But he played exactly that in the Ben Stiller-directed comedy, and he played it to perfection. His character Les Grossman spouts such lines as "First, take a big step back...and literally f**k your own face!" and "A nutless monkey could do your job," making Ari Gold look like Mister Rogers.
Mark Wahlberg has steadily starred in Oscar-winning dramas like The Fighter and The Departed during his career, but peppered throughout are movies like Ted and Date Night. Wahlberg's gruff Boston attitude gives him weight in more serious roles, but also lends an edge to his comedic roles. His performance in David O. Russell's quirky, surreal, philosophy-heavy comedy I Heart Huckabees is perhaps one of the most underrated comedic performances of all time. Seriously, go watch it if you haven't.
Colin Firth first rose to fame playing Mr. Darcy in the BBC adaptation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and recently he was nominated for an Oscar for A Single Man and won one for The King's Speech. That said, let's all stop kidding ourselves and admit it: our favorite Colin Firth role was in Love Actually. Don't be ashamed. Every single other person secretly feels the same way.
There are few actors in Hollywood who can do stoner movies (Airheads), Tarantino classics (Reservoir Dogs), rom-coms (The Wedding Singer), dark comedies (Fargo), iconic stoner movies (The Big Lebowski), and still terrify us as TV's meanest gangster. Steve Buscemi is a rare gem of an actor. If he played an old Asian grandma, we would probably believe it, and be impressed.
Oscar-winner Matt Damon has made a career out of carefully-chosen film roles, most of which are of the dramatic or action variety. But the actor's inherent charm truly comes out when he dabbles in comedy, even in less-than-successful movies. His turn as bumbling and dense Mark Whitacre in The Informant! is subtle but spot-on. When he pairs up (literally) with Greg Kinnear in Stuck on You, his performance may not have won over critics, but it's a refreshing contrast to the usually serious Damon. And let's unearth a little-known ditty, shall we? Here's Damon as the lead singer of a pop-punk band in the 2004 comedy EuroTrip (you're welcome):
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Sony Pictures seems to be quite hungry for food-themed films as of late. Soon after greenlighting the R-rated animated food-related flick Sausage Party starring Seth Rogen, a comedy about one sausage's quest to figure out the meaning of life, Sony acquired a film about 2012's famous Canadian maple syrup heist, according to Deadline.
The as-of-yet unnamed film is expected to be written by Chris Sheridan (Family Guy), directed by Seth Gordon (Identify Thief and Horrible Bosses), and feature Jason Segel, who is currently filming 2014's Sex Tape. It's not clear who Segel with play, but one can only hope that he'll be gallivanting around as one of the maple syrup thieves.
The comedy is inspired by the real-life Canadian maple syrup heist where over $20 million worth of syrup was stolen from Quebec's Federation of Maple Syrup Producers (because of course that's a thing in Canada).
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Aziz Ansari, who plays the underachieving government official Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, is starring in Buried Alive, his own Netflix stand-up special. The streaming network just released the first trailer for the special, which premieres on Nov. 1.
In the trailer, Ansari discusses with friend Seth Rogen some of the possible ways that he can promote his special, while simultaneously making fun of product placements. (But let's be real here, we all know who would have been the best at advertising the special: Tom Haverford's cocky and "entrepreneurial" best friend, Jean-Ralphio.)
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Buried Alive features Ansari discussing adulthood, marriage, family, and love.
For those of you who just can't wait until November, you can watch Ansari's previous specials, Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening and Dangerously Delicious, on Netflix, or watch the season six premiere of Parks and Recreation on Sept. 26.
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