With the cool autumnal breezes rolling in, so too are Hollywood's biggest, award-hopeful films. Regardless of whether or not it is actually fall quite yet, the little kiddies are back at school, pumpkin spice is being added to everything, and there are only a few days left until staring wistfully at your sweater and scarf collection becomes a summer memory, and wearing becomes the reality. So to prepare us all for the glorious days of movie-watching ahead of us, we've broken it all down for you. So start saving your pennies, coordinate schedules with your film buff buddies and take a bite out of the tasty cinematic offerings that are ripe for the picking. It's like an apple orchard, but glitzier!
Check out the line-up below and get more picks tailored to your tastes in our Fall Movie Guide!
Finding Nemo 3D: A re-release of the popular Pixar film, this time in 3D!
Resident Evil: Retribution: The fighting against the Umbrella Corporation and all those pesky undead continues!
10 Years: A high school reunion with Channing Tatum and Friends.
Arbitrage: Hedge-funder in trouble: a ponzi scheme gone awry. Bernie Madoff-y, huh? The horror, the horror!
Bangkok Revenge: An emotionless war machine returns to the place where his parents were killed to exact ... (you guessed it!) revenge.
Brawler: Brothers! Betrayal! Fight clubs! New Orleans! A battle to the death!
Step Up to the Plate: A cooking documentary about father/son culinary duo the Bras.
Liberal Arts: Lost 30something, a girl named Zibby, and love. But in college.
The Master: The hotly-anticipated Scientology-but-not film from P.T. Anderson.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Stephen Chbosky's classic young adult novel comes to life.
Stolen: A Nicholas Cage film about a daughter locked in a taxi's trunk.
The Trouble with the Truth: A failed marriage reconsidered, now with Lea Thompson!
Radio Unnameable: Documentary about legendary New York City disc jockey Bob Fass who pioneered free expression on the airwaves with his long running program of the same name.
Tears of Gaza: A war documentary that follows three children through war and the period after ceasefire.
Dredd: An action/sci-fi/thriller about fighting a drug war in a big futuristic city. In 3D!
End of Watch: A routine traffic stop gone really, really bad.
House at the End of the Street: Katniss Jennifer Lawrence becomes a scream queen.
17 Girls: A Belgian teen pregnancy pact film!
About Cherry: James Franco is the boyfriend of a porn star, and Dev Patel probably loves her?
Backwards: Life for an Olympic hasbeen-turned-coach is tough.
The Brooklyn Brothers Beat the Best: Brooklyn boys form a band.
Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel: A documentary about the life and work of the influential fashion editor of Harpers Bazaar, Diana Vreeland.
The Other Son: A French film about two young men--an Israeli and Palestinian--who discover they were accidentally switched at birth.
Head Games: A sports documentary to uncover the truth about the consequences of head injuries.
How to Survive a Plague: AIDS documentary about the activism that stopped the disease from being a death sentence.
My Uncle Rafael: A comedy about a reality show!
The War of the Buttons: A French film about kid gangs and a Jewish girl in danger of being discovered by the Nazis in occupied France, comes to the states.
Trouble with the Curve: Clint Eastwood and Justin Timberlake make a baseball movie! Now get off my damn lawn.
Unconditional: Two childhood friends reconnect after many years and sad stories to exact revenge on the woman's husband's murderer.
You May Not Kiss the Bride: A pet photographer (seriously) has to marry Katharine McPhee's Croatian bride character. Warning: zany!
Hotel Transylvania: Adam Sandler is Dracula in an animated kids' film.
Looper: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis play one guy who has to kill himself, from the future. Mob stuff! Time travel!
The Barrens: The Jersey Devil of the state's Pine Barrens is hunting Stephen Moyer, you guys!
Bringing Up Bobby: Bill Pullman is in a family comedy written by Famke Janssen.
Won't Back Down: A serious drama about poor moms trying to do right by their kid's education.
The Other Dream Team: A documentary about the 1992 Lithuanian basketball team who got help from the Grateful Dead (seriously) to win at the Barcelona Olympics.
Starbuck: A sperm donor gets sued by the 142 kids he helped conceive. Yikes!
Butter: A comedy about a butter-carving prodigy. Do you need to know anything else?
Frankenweenie: A kid who just wants his dead dog to be...ALIIIIIIVE!
Sinister: Creepy horror flick with Ethan Hawke about a true-crime novelist who discovers footage revealing why a family was murdered in his new home. Sleep tight!
Taken 2: Liam Neeson will find you, and he will hunt you down, and he will kill you. Again!
Wuthering Heights: Another film version of the Emily Bronte novel.
Decoding Deepak: A documentary about Deepak Chopra by his son.
The Oranges: Hugh Laurie has an affair with his best friend's daughter in New Jersey. Woopsies!
The Paperboy: Yes, this is the movie where Zac Efron gets peed on by Nicole Kidman. It's also about a reporter and a death row inmate.
Pitch Perfect: A capella girls get funky thanks to singing 90s R&B tunes. But funny!
V/H/S: All they wanted to do was steal a video tape, and now they're living a horror film! Everyone's worst nightmare, right?
Wake in Fright: An Australian drama thriller about a man named John Grant and a rough outback town called Bundanyabba, and what happens when the two meet.
Argo: Ben Affleck knows that the real way to free six Americans in Iran is by pretending to film a movie! Chris Messina's also in it, with Bryan Cranston, so it seems like a no-brainer here.
Here Comes the Boom: Kevin James is a high school biology teacher who wants to become mixed-martial arts fighter. You know, to save his school! Natch.
3, 2, 1... Frankie Go Boom: A comedy about drugs and humilation.
Atlas Shrugged: Part II: Atlas Shrugged...again!
Least Among Saints: A roughed-up soldier and a boy from a broken home strike up an unlikely friendship.
Middle of Nowhere: A movie about finding yourself while your husband's in jail.
Nobody Walks: Quick! Lena Dunham made something! It's about a young artist! Everybody dissect it!
Seven Psychopaths: Pretty much everybody good is in this movie about a struggling screenwriter whose friends kidnap a gangster's Shih Tzu.
Simon & The Oaks: A Swedish WWII coming-of-age film.
Smashed: A marriage built on booze struggles when the wife gets sober.
Stories We Tell: A Sarah Polley documentary about looking back at familial events.
Paranormal Activity 4: Some mean ghosts do some f**ked up scary s**t to a new family. This time it involves the neighbors!
Alex Cross: A detective vows to track down the killer of his family.
The First Time: A romcom about high school kids. And probably doing it.
Killing Them Softly: Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini and Ray Liotta in a mob film. Is there anything else you need to know?
That's What She Said: New York City lady misadventures that are NOT about Michael Scott, apparently.
Yogawoman: A documentary about...yoga! The title's so misleading, isn't it?
The Big Wedding: Oh look! Katherine Heigl's in another movie about a wedding. This time with Diane Keaton and Robert DeNiro.
Fun Size: A big Halloween party! A baby who must be watched! Johnny Knoxville. Somebody call the shenanigans police!
Chasing Mavericks: A surfer movie with Gerard Butler. Hang ten, etc.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D: Gory alternate reality. In 3D!
Citadel: An agoraphobic dad and renegade priest team up to save his daughter from a gang of feral kids. So...not about a military school in South Carolina then.
Cloud Atlas: The three hour epic with every actor ever in the world telling intertwined stories across millennia.
The Loneliest Planet: A backpacking film with Gael Garcia Bernal in the wilds of Georgia (not the state).
Sleep Tight: A Spanish horror film about how safe you really are at home. Yep, sleep tight indeed.
The Sessions: The heartwarming story of a man on an iron lung who just wants to get laid ... with the help of his priest and a sex therapist.
On The Road: That Jack Kerouac novel-turned-movie with Kristen Stewart
Flight: Robert Zemeckis directs Denzel Washington, John Goodman and Don Cheadle in a film about a plane crash.
The Man with the Iron Firsts: Eli Roth and RZA make a really bloody movie about a blacksmith in China.
Wreck-It Ralph: A video arcade game baddie just wants to be good, you guys!
This Must Be the Place: Sean Penn does his best Robert Smith impression while trying to hunt down a Nazi.
High Ground: A documentary about the emotional journey of a team of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans as they climb a mountain in the Himalayas.
Jack and Diane: A girl's awakened sexual desire for another girl makes her maybe become a werewolf. Seriously.
A Late Quartet: A famous string quartet gets too big for their britches to the point of potential self-destruction. Oh, and Christopher Walken's in it.
Lincoln: One of the many Abraham Lincoln movies being made, this time with Daniel Day-Lewis and no slaying of vampires.
Skyfall: The next installment of Daniel Craig's James Bond empire.
Nature Calls: A hijacked boy scout trip to remember? Sounds super-wacky!
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2: This needs no description. C'mon.
Anna Karenina: Because Keira Knightley cannot go three months without making an epic period piece. This time based on the Tolstoy novel.
Rust and Bone: A Belgian film with Marion Cotillard that involves a killer whale accident and a love story.
Rise of the Guardians: A children's animated film about Jack Frost and saving the kids of the world from an evil spirit named Pitch.
Red Dawn: A remake of the 1984 film about a group of teenagers saving their town from an invasion of North Korean soldiers.
Life of Pi: Based on the best-selling novel is the story of a boy named Pi and his shipwrecked companions. Mainly a hyena, zebra, orangutan, and a Bengal tiger.
Silver Linings Playbook: A feel-good holiday drama about two messed up people teaming up to make good.
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
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Amanda Bynes is getting in trouble in her car what feels like every other day. In another new development surrounding Bynes and her car troubles, a judge has officially ordered Bynes to hand over her keys and stay off the road. As a suspended license hasn't reportedly stopped Bynes from getting behind the wheel, People reports that L.A. Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel has said that Amanda is forbidden from driving.
During a hearing on Wednesday, the District Attorney's Office specifically asked the judge to take a look a the situation regarding Bynes' suspended license. But Bynes — who is currently facing charges of DUI and two counts of hit-and-run — herself was not in the courtroom. Her attorney Bob Wilson attended the hearing on behalf of Bynes instead.
According to the Los Angeles Times, Bynes' license was suspended by the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) — but the actress was reportedly stopped on Sunday by police because her headlights weren't on. TMZ also posted pictures of Amanda allegedly driving on Tuesday, and then again, on Thursday.
All of this has to make you wonder why the 26-year-old actress doesn't just hire a chauffeur for the time being.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
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The passengers of the JetBlue flight that was forced to make an emergency landing in Austin, Texas Tuesday probably won't be listening to Puddle of Mudd's "Harassed" anymore following yesterday's in-flight disturbance. The band's frontman, Wes Scantlin, was arrested Tuesday at Bergstrom International Airport in Austin after allegedly getting into a fight with a flight attendant over alcohol. But the in-flight argument wasn't the worst of it — the JetBlue flight that was en route to Los Angeles from Boston had to make an emergency landing after Scantlin reportedly caused the uproar.
According to a spokesperson for the Austin Police Department tells Hollywood.com, the singer was arrested and charged with public intoxication following the landing. E! reports that officers also charged Scantlin with interfering with flight crew, and that the Transportation Security Agency has plans to investigate the matter further. (The Police Department could not confirm the charge; Federal charges are under the jurisdiction of the TSA.)
Unfortunately, this isn't Scantlin's first run-in with the law. He was arrested in 2004 for public intoxication after allegedly showing up drunk on stage at a concert. In July, the singer also plead guilty to possession of cocaine.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: Austin Police Department]
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This was the best episode of Pretty Little Liars to date. This was an actual episode of television with very severe emotional repercussions for all of our characters and very real developments for all of Rosewood. I am exhausted for this journey, in the best way possible. I am still in awe. I am obsessed. I love this show so much. I think I’m still crying and/or my brain exploded.
You guys. The summer finale. Like, can you believe that we’re here? I cannot believe it because I am addicted to this show in an unhealthy way. My entire day, leading up to Tuesday at 8pm, revolved around PLL. I texted someone all day with fake A messages. All of those texts were atrocious but I didn’t care. The BETRAYAL opens with a really fantastic thing: the PLL flash-forward, rivaled only by the old Alias flash-forward (I’m serious). Basically, Emily is half-talking to a policeman about being deceased and Hanna is crying more than anyone has ever cried. Oh boy.
TWO DAYS EARLIER, everyone is hanging out in Spencer’s kitchen and wearing clubbing outfits while whispering about Emily’s mental state. Like, Aria — your shimmery neon blue robot skirt needs to be put away until after midnight. Spencer is rocking some kind of dress thing with donkeys on it, and Hanna is wearing horizontal stripes. Right. The Three Liars are planning a Paige Intervention for the Lesbian Liar. Spencer compares Paige to Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, which is maybe the biggest compliment possible for someone like Paige. Also, Hanna and Aria act like they have never heard of Basic Instinct, which is a huge joke because everyone knows about the leg crossing in the white dress. Please. I was at a bar once with Basic Instinct on the television and everyone in the bar fell absolutely silent during the leg crossing. True story, I swear.
Emily arrives for said intervention, and she looks really upset. I have never seen Emily this upset, and I feel like she is rather uptight and looks upset almost all the time. However, I do really like Emily’s acid wash shirt-blazer, so she does win Best Dressed at her own intervention. Garrett’s trial is going on, and Emily is pissed that everyone is so anti-Paige and not more RIP Maya. Later, Hanna has a conversation with Aria about keeping secrets: “Secrets tear us apart.” Hanna is keeping it under control with wise words while all this crazy surrounds her. Everyone is worried about Emily because she skipped school. Leave those interventions to A&E, girls.
Paige is STILL. WEARING. THOSE. UGLY. HOOPS. Are you KIDDING me, Paige. I have talked to you about this literally every single week since you reappeared in Rosewood and you do not listen to me. Spencer and Paige share dirty threats in the middle of the school hallway, slammed locker doors and all. Emily finally tells Paige that the other Liars think Paige is part of Mona’s A Team, and Paige is super nonchalant about everything. The only thing not super nonchalant about this scene is the super chalant (that should be a word, no?) lack of lesbian chemistry. C’mon. And then. AND THEN. A IS TEXTING PAIGE! OMG! WHAT!
NEXT: STAND DOWN, BITCHES.
Back at school, Aria is eating a wrap in the cafeteria courtyard, which is the most substantial meal that has ever appeared on this set. Hanna discovers that Emily also skipped Spanish class. (“Yo hablo sicko,” according to Hanna.) Hanna makes a reference to her blood being smeared all over Ali’s anklet, and I’m left wondering if we ever resolved that? How did Hanna evade that police blood test? Is that still an issue? Am I forgetting something? Did PornStarMom sleep with someone? It doesn’t matter, because A sends everyone a text: “STAND DOWN, BITCHES.”
Next thing we know, it is almost a commercial break and Mona is sneaking out of the psych ward dressed as a nurse. Yes. That’s right. Mona is wearing a nurse costume from a WWII period film but, hey, she looks like a sexy WII nurse. Mona is so crazy. Go do your dirty deeds, Mona. A begins sending a lot of things, including pictures that Spencer reads on her iPad. Essentially, A has to be Paige because A is showing that she can blame the Ali body theft on the three Liars without involving Emily in all the drama. Too obvious, but Spencer is on a witch-hunt and the girl needs to see Paige either sink or swim… Hanna hears someone inside her house and decides to pick up a furry pink lamp as protection. Turns out it’s just Caleb, and he also comments on Hanna’s choice of weapon. Hello, Caleb! Hello, Caleb’s beautiful forehead scar! If Caleb dies at the end of this episode, I kill everyone.
Emily gets a call from… Angie? What the hell? Looks like Angie works at the town’s big coffee shop, and Hanna borrows her phone in an attempt to knock some sense into Em here. Emily is actually going to the Lighthouse Rock Inn (bad name, creepy name) for the weekend with Nate. Hanna actually says, “Thanks, Angie” when Angie returns to retrieve her phone. Angie! You deserve a spin-off! Hanna is all L8R SPENCE G2G, so Spencer goes on a short stroll around Downtown Rosewood, giving a poster for the Halloween Ghost Train Party a forlorn gaze through some shop window… until Toby magically appears!!! TOBY IS BACK!!! PLL loves to spin the camera around reuniting couples, which makes me vomit from motion sickness just as much as it makes me wish I had my own teen werewolf to kiss in the middle of the town square while a camera spins around me.
The only storyline that really could have waited until the 12 winter episodes was the whole Ezra-Aria-Maggie baby ordeal. In short: Maggie shows up at Ezra’s apartment because she was “in the neighborhood” (right), Maggie pretends like she is meeting Aria for the first time, Aria’s eyes are as big as possible, Maggie looks old. Ezra leaves his current girlfriend and the girl that he got pregnant to have a solo conversation, and then asks if the conversation was weird. Umm. The end. Also, Larisa Oleynik plays Maggie, and Larisa also played Alex Mack back in the days of The Secret World of Alex Mack, a.k.a My Favorite Show When I Was A Baby.
We get back to important things, such as Caleb having a GUN and Hanna wearing a BLUE ROBE. Caleb’s forehead scar is now the only thing I watch whenever he is on camera, so I may have missed a few details here but I think Caleb agrees to get rid of the gun only to hide it in Hanna’s dresser. Not the best hiding spot, buddy boy! You should use a lasagna box! Bringing a gun into the scene was PLL’s way of showing how serious things are getting also invoking the Rule of Chekhov.
NEXT: Let’s talk about sex…
Here are the notes, verbatim, that I took during the following scene: MONA MONA MONA MONA MONA BLACK HOODIE MONA OMG PSYCHO SCARY BATHROOMWITH SCRIBBLES ON THE WALLS SHE UNDERSTANDS WHAT SHE MUST DO. You can decode that however you wish. I was not kidding about things getting serious, because the rest of this episode just does not stop.
Suddenly, we’re back on Spencer and Toby basking in some afternoon soft-porn glow. And by basking, I mean having sex. They do the deed. It happens, replete with Toby’s naked torso and Spencer grabbing fistfuls of bedding. I kept politely asking Spencer to display her breasts, until I remembered that we’re on ABC Family and I’ve been watching too much True Blood this summer. This sex scene is all sunlight and humping and sunlight and curtains and sunlight. There’s also a montage, which highlights Nate putting a blanket over Emily while she relaxes at cabin complex and Aria looking as pouty as humanly possible while Maggie and Ezra share frosted pound cake. I laughed out loud at Aria’s pouty face because it was so amazing. More Teen Choice Awards for Lucy Hale, please and thank you.
We’re done with the sex, but Spencer and Toby are not done with moody faces and sunlight shots. Spencer is wearing Toby’s v-neck in a moment of post-coital self-conscious bliss, and Toby promises he did not get a job in Bucks County only to be away from Spencer. I love you. I love you, too. Something is a little off because Toby keeps his eyes really open while hugging Spencer goodbye, but I’m guessing he can just sense the moon rising and his transformation back to werewolf approaching.
Fast-forward to nighttime: The Liars sans Emily wait to meet A at Ali’s (empty) grave, while Caleb waits in the bushes and communicates with Hanna via some kind of walkie talkie iPhone app. I want that app, stat. Emily is sleeping in the creepy cabin until she gets a call on an old rotary phone, where a scary modulated voice screams: “YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE, GET OUT.” I screamed. I screamed for the rest of the episode. Everyone at the cemetery knows that Mona is fashionably late, but Paige is not capable of understanding such a concept (HA, a Paige fashion dig!); the troops start calling Emily and Nate, trying to figure out what exactly is going down. Emily shows us that there is no cell service in the cabin. Emily finds the old letter in Nate’s duffle bag that he promised he would give to Maya’s family roughly 873 episodes ago. I KNEW THAT LETTER WAS DOOMED, I KNEW NATE WAS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD, I KNEW EVERYTHING WAS WRONG HERE. Still screaming.
NEXT: Nate is not so great!
Breakdown: Nate comes back from gathering firewood. Nate has yellow paint on his shoes. Emily checks through her old pictures, notices a hiking shoe with yellow paint from Maya’s pictures at her old camp. Emily knows that Nate is wrong. Emily goes to get fresh air, except Emily is really desperate for cell service. Nate finds Emily in the woods. Nate is giving us the creepiest smile ever. Nate is ready to kill. Nate killed Maya. Nate stalked Maya. I screamed through all of this, I am still screaming right now.
The girls at the cemetery know something is very wrong because no one in the entire world will answer their cell, but searching for the Lighthouse Wood Inn proves that two exist: one location in Bellmore, the other in Bayhead; Caleb heads to one location, the ladies to the other. Nate forces Emily to watch a goodbye video from Maya, and explains that Maya was a tease and he had to murder her when she couldn’t give him what he wanted. He threatens Emily, saying she did the same… and reveals Paige, bound and gagged in the closet; Nate wants to take away something else that Emily loves. I always say how PLL mixes big scares with high-energy camp, but everything in this summer finale was packed with palpable tension. My heart was attempting to burst out of my chest. Insane stalkers on teen soaps really freak me out. Remember Oliver on The OC?
Aria, Spencer, and Hanna arrive at the inn, and it is surprisingly another mysterious spot around Rosewood that is in the middle of the woods. Great. Nate has been planning his big Emily/Paige ordeal for months, and reveals that his real name is Lyndon James – no relation to Maya, only that he was in love and ready to kill. It is possible that Jenna saw Nate/Lyndon and Maya together, and that’s why Jenna was creeped out to the max and why Nate/Lyndon needs to move fast. The Liars are not at the correct cabin complex, which means everything is in Caleb’s hands! And Caleb brought his gun! Caleb to the rescue! Caleb!
Suddenly, Emily sees a chance to escape and races from the cabin, running up to the top of the lighthouse. This is one of the craftiest, electric scenes that this show has ever accomplished, aided by the horrifying spinning light at the center of the lighthouse. Emily frantically searches for service and is finally able to connect to 911, until Nate/Lyndon attacks her before she can place the call. The ultimate fight scene commences, with slaps and struggles and Emily crying and people getting kicked to the floor. It ends when Emily stabs Nate with his own knife; Emily is aggressively sobbing, and Nate is on the floor in his own blood. Whoa. Caleb final arrives and wraps Emily in the biggest hug, but does the worst thing when he places his gun on the lighthouse ledge. PLL takes us down to the bottom of the lighthouse, and shows the flash of a gunshot amid the rotating lighthouse lamp. Amazing. Screams. Amazing. I can’t even be funny about this because this was all too amazing. I have chills about this lighthouse fight scene just thinking about it.
NEXT: The new A is…Obviously I assumed Nate shot Caleb to death, hence Hanna’s hysterical sobs in the beginning of the episode. I was almost hysterically sobbing during the entire commercial break after the lighthouse scene because everything was just too intense for my fragile heart. Turns out, Caleb was shot once in the ribs; it looks like he will probably pull through. Nate/Lyndon, however, is definitely dead. PLL cheated by only showing the one stretcher in the opening scene of the episode! I’m not even angry, that was so smart! Paige tells the police that she went to respond to A’s anonymous text in the middle of the cemetery, but Nate/Lyndon grabbed her first. So, what was supposed to happen in the cemetery? Hmm. The Liars are all crying and hugging and wrapped up in their secret love. Spencer and Paige share a moment, but there’s still a lot of space between them. Literally, and figuratively.
The Liars are reunited while they wait for news on Caleb’s surgery, as no one is fighting about sketchy lesbian girlfriends or mysterious non-abortion secret visits or anything else. I still don’t fully trust Paige, but I guess she was kidnapped by a murderer and tied up in a small closet, so I’ll give her a break (for now). The Liars all get a blocked phone call from A: “EMILY, I OWE YOU ONE.” Huh? WELL. Garrett walks in with Spencer’s Mom a.k.a Mariska Hargitay, and Mariska explains that Garrett is now a free man due to the Nate/Lyndon ordeal. It is clear that Garrett did not kill Maya. Damn you, Garrett. Damn your crooked grin. Garrett is clearly a part of Team A, because A loves Garrett’s freedom. Uh OH.
THE FINAL SCENE. The second black hoodie walks with Mona as she sneaks back into her psych ward, still wearing that period nun disguise; maybe Mona is auditioning for the second season of American Horror Story? Mona explains that Paige unknowingly has access to Maya’s cell phone, and that revealing this grand old detail in the middle of the cemetery would have caused the band of Liars to implode. Oh well, the Nate/Lydon drama worked better for everyone! Mona says goodbye. The other A turns. THE OTHER A IS TOBY. I REPEAT, THE OTHER A IS TOBY. I MEAN, THE OTHER A IS TOBY. The best twist this show has ever executed. Flawless. Sobbing. Beauty. Disaster. Other words.
I feel so bad for Spencer (SHE DOESN’T KNOW AND SHE JUST GAVE IT UP BIG TIME FOR THE MAN OF HER DREAMS), and I also feel truly betrayed. I couldn’t even change the title of my recap because the title of this episode/the entire marketing campaign behind this summer season was just too perfect. The extra A clue at the end of the episode was just another teaser for the wonderfully unnecessary Halloween party, this year surrounding a costume ball that happens on a train. Okay, see you there. If I can find all the pieces of my brain, I will definitely see you there. This has been such a rewarding journey. I am at a really wonderful place with my four Liars and with this show in general, even if I need to rest in my bed and calm for breathing for the next 17 days. We’re really going places. Hanna is a part of my soul now. You all are part of my soul now. That might sound as creepy as something Nate/Lyndon would say to Maya/Emily right now, but you know what I mean. I hope to see all of your very soon. I don’t even know how to end this correctly because I’m such an emotional wreck. Take your secrets to the grave, lovelies.
[Image Credit: ABC Family]
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Even though this season of True Blood may not have been the most thrilling — too much politics, not enough witches — we're still just a little bit depressed that the season has ended and we'll have to wait yet another excruciating year for more episodes of bloody drama. And yet, we plan to really utilize the hiatus to revel in the shared wisdom that we have gained from watching five seasons of HBO's sultry vampire saga.
Over the past five years, we've certainly learned a lot about vampires… and ourselves. We've laughed, we've cried, we've watched crazy people murder, screw, possess and eat each other, and I think it's safe to say that we've come out as better, non-homicidal people because of it all.
Here's a brief look back at all of the lessons we've learned over our time spent in the jolly fantasy land that is Bon Temps, Louisiana:Nobody puts maenad in the corner.If given the opportunity to kill a maniacal villain, it's best to just half-ass the murder and bury him in concrete… you know, because you wanted to make a statement. It totally won't come back to bite you in the ass.If you are planning to give someone the True Death, make sure you bring cleaning supplies.Restaurant working shifts are very flexible. Feel free to come and go whenever you please, unless you're ginger. Bonus points go to the employees who bring their personal vendettas and fistfight drama into the workplace. Similarly, no amount of bad publicity (including on-site murders and supernatural disasters) will kill your restaurant's evening rush hour.Most night clubs should have either a screaming human employee OR an underground prison, but usually not both.No vampires actually drink Tru Blood.If you're in trouble, just scream really loudly. Be warned: the screen may actually cut to black for a few seconds, but wait a week, and then you'll be rescued by a fast-steppin' vampire.All panthers are rednecks, but not all werewolves are bikers. Most of them, though.Don't trust a man-whore and your wife in the same room, especially if there's a bathtub.Some vampires handle silver better than others.Fairy blood tastes fine and all, but can't hold a candle to Chipotle.If you take a bullet for someone, you will end up a vampire.Painting your toenails is good for a cliffhanger, but does little to nothing for actual body identification should you ever find yourself murdered in the back seat of a car.The smaller the town, the stupider the police force.Pecan pie makes for excellent mourning food.Meth addicts have terrible teeth, and even worse fashion sense.Never bring a vampire home to meet your mother.When proposing to someone, make sure they don't leave the room, lest you be kidnapped. It's a risk you just can't take.Don't chase pigs through the woods.Nobody sings quiet, melancholy 1920s lullabies unless he/she is a possessed spirit.No one gets bug bites, apparently.Not every witch sounds like she needs cold medicine; only the powerful ones.Dogfighting is wrong.You can get anywhere in Louisiana by running really, really, really quickly.It's best to invest in shirts with pop-off buttons, because when you live in Bon Temps, your shirt will more than likely spend most of its time being aggressively ripped off.
[Photo Credit: HBO]
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Three strikes and you're out? Randy Travis, the 53-year-old country singer who was arrested earlier this month after being found nude on a highway, had yet another run-in with the law on Thursday night.
The Plano, Texas police department tells Hollywood.com that the country singer was cited with simple assault Thursday night. "He has not been arrested, he has been given a citation, which is just a notice to appear," the Public Information Officer for Plano says.
Authorities told People.com that police received got a call "about a personal family issue occurring between an estranged husband and wife. The wife was reportedly the girlfriend of Randy Travis. Randy intervened and reportedly an assault took place between Randy and husband."
Unlike his past two brushes with the law this year, Travis reportedly wasn't believed to be intoxicated during the incident Thursday. On Aug. 7, he was picked up by cops after someone reported a naked man lying in the road. When cops arrived at the scene, they noted that he smelled of booze — but Travis refused to take an alcohol blood or breath test. He was arrested on suspicion of having been driving under the influence (DWI) after he reportedly crashed his car.
Back in February, the Ole Country Boy also had to face police when he was charged with public intoxication. Police had found him hanging out in front of a church with an open container and smelling of course, you guessed it, alcohol. (Is this when we sing the Brad Paisley song?)
This six-time Grammy country singer sounds like he needs to get out of the hard rock bottom before another "I Told You So" is warranted.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
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If there's one recurring theme to be found in this profound and daring season of Louie, it's the ongoing game of hide and seek Louis C.K.'s character seems to be playing with himself. He's continually seeking out intimacy (much like he did in "Miami" and "Daddy's Girlfriend" parts 1 and 2) only to hide from really making an effort to connect (in last week's episode "Dad," he quite literally ran away from his own estranged father).
So last night's Louie, the double header "Looking for Liz/Lilly Changes," felt perfectly aligned with the rest of Season 3. After kicking things off with a painful stand-up bit about how when 20-somethings are constantly worried about finding themselves, 40-somethings are content with having already found it, we see Louie having a dream about Liz (Parker Posey). Liz, whom he went on that bizarre, romantic, heartbreaking, humiliating, and unforgettable date with. "She changed how I feel about everything in one night," he would later come to explain it. (Damn, Louie/Louis has a way with words about the women he cares about, doesn't he?)
"I love you," Liz tells him in his sleep, with that familiar look of hope and then immediate hopelessness in her eyes. Louie wakes from the dream and sets out to find her. When he arrives at the bookstore where they first met, he's told by a fellow employee that Liz has since quit. Louie looks surprised, but his heart likely got in the way of his head. His head would have told him that unpredictable, depressed Liz probably quit for that very reason. That he might come looking for her and try to fix everything that's so irrevocably broken.
At the store he meets yet another attractive, manic woman who turned out to be Liz's equally quirky hipster replacement at the bookstore (played by Emmy winning off-kilter extraordinaire Chloë Sevigny). And because Louie is both a magnet for crazy and too much of a softie (and, well, a guy with a penis) to walk away, he once again finds himself in the throes of the wrong woman, even when all the signs are there. She immediately immerses herself in Louie's quest to find Liz and will stop at nothing (not her boss, not a doorman, not even the fact these are total strangers whose lives she's meddling in) to get in the way.
But as Louie would come to find out, in a most surprising fashion, she was a basket case who quite literally gets off on the rush of other couple's missed connections. While it may not have been as soul-crushing as his reunion with the "blueberry" date or Liz, this one was still pretty surreal. And while it was a valiant effort by Sevigny, nobody outcrazies Melissa Leo as one of Louie's lusty ladies this year.
With the exception of Louie's desire to find Liz again (a terrible idea from the get-go, anyway) the first half didn't do much for me, but the second half "Lilly Changes" worked on every level. I adore any scenes Louie has with his daughters and last night's segment was no exception. When picking up his girls from school, Louie (who hilariously manages to avoid doing another favor for Never's mother) notices that his eldest Lilly (Hadley Delany) looks upset within a group of her peers. We hear them call her a "nerd", but lucky for them, Louie doesn't. (Any Louis C.K. fan who has seen or heard Live at the Beacon Theater knows the protective papa doesn't take well to other children who mess with his.)
It's a heart wrenching scene, whether you're in your 20s and recall the misery of getting picked on in school or in your 40s and dread the idea that something like that is happening to your kid. Louie, desperate to make everything better for his baby girl, tries to remedy the situation by taking her on a carousel and offering to buy her ice cream. But Lilly is no longer a baby girl, she's growing into a woman, and with that, is experiencing all the terrible problems that come with it. Louie doesn't know what to do. (Well, besides hilariously flip off his kids behind their backs in total frustration.) Then again, what father does?
The tension goes all the way back to Louie's apartment and gets even worse when his youngest Jane (the adorable, hilarious Ursula Parker) tries, and fails, to tell Louie that Lilly has left the apartment (the visual of a dismayed Louie sitting on the can, smoking a cigarette was the second funniest bathroom scene this season). In true Louie fashion, he panics. He knocks on his neighbor's door (the very same one who helped him with his sister's "emergency", though now he is immersed in a fight with his partner and can't help calm Louie down this time), yells his daughter's name, and calls the cops. Not, say, call his wife to see if Lilly went there or check the closet where Lilly goes to read sometimes, which is exactly where she was the whole time. Yet again, Louis C.K. proved what a brilliant actor he is in this scene. Here is every parent's worst nightmare and all the panic and fear and white noise was perfectly captured by the real-life father of two.
Louie is such a thought-provoking show, but he's also quietly become the master of the sight gag. Lilly wearing her robe and headphones strolling right past her father and police officers in the apartment, unaware to the chaos she's just caused earned the heartiest belly laugh of the night. This wasn't a perfect episode of Louie by any means, though the stellar second half made it worthwhile, just another showcase that Louie still hasn't found what he's truly looking for.
What did you think of last night's Louie? Were you also a bit underwhelmed or were you happy to see all the familiar faces again, from Louie's daughters to Parker Posey to his neighbor? Share your thoughts in the comments section. [Photo Credit: FX]
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Pretty Little Liars has spent Season 3 tiptoeing around a lot of big drama, mainly putting Rosewood back into place in the aftermath of the Mona revelation and the Maya death. I’m not saying that PLL has been dull; I’m just saying that PLL has spent a lot of time looking back. All that kind of changed in this episode. I mean, we were given a nearly cohesive central storyline with very few tangents and a lot of creepy camera angles! Plus, the Liars spent some time talking about their hair and talking about clothes, so this was sort of a Greatest Hits episode. I’m not kidding. This was my favorite episode of the season so far, only because it flew with so much weird lesbian tension that I want to happy-cry and scary-vomit at the same time. The beginning of this mess shows Hanna dressing for school and/or the horrifying side effects of hallucinogenic drugs — Hanna doesn’t own a single skirt that falls below her mid-thigh, so she has to wear a peasant skirt from her stint in the school production of Mamma Mia! to hide her knife wound from last week.
I need to get honest about some things. First, Hanna does musicals? That’s a thing? I feel like Season 1 featured a school play, but Spencer was the ringleader on that? I could also be making that up. Second, there is no way a high school would allow a production of Mamma Mia!. That musical is about a lot of old sex on an island in Greece. Not appropriate. Sort of like when the high school in the 90210 reboot did Spring Awakening; I’m pretty sure this is now Season 82 of CW’s 90210 and everyone is a low-rent prostitute and Ryan Lochte guest stars next season.
Ted the Pastor comes in to talk to PornStarMom, and reveals that he found a thumb drive while cleaning the church; the thumb drive contains weird videos of Hanna and the other girls, so Ted wants PornStarMom to take a look before they give it to the police. This is the thumb drive that Spencer threw at Ian during the season one finale. FULL CIRCLE. Jenna would basically kill everyone in the world if the police got their hands on those videos. There are some really great shots during this scene, and I don’t know if PLL started hiring different directors or if there are actual hallucinogenic drugs involved here. Mystery.
The center of this episode is the relationship between Emily and Paige, which is becoming more confusing/scary/beautiful/magical/alien. Now, I detest Paige but I love whenever PLL acts like Season 1 was actually a thing and the Liars have to grapple with events that have actually occurred. Emily and Paige are having the most uncomfortable coffee date ever, which was probably triggered by a horrifying girl riding her bike directly across the shot. Like, this bike-riding girl in the purple shirt was the most startling extra in the history of all of television. However, Emily finally fesses up to the whole Nate macking, which Paige already knew about. Paige flipped over trashcans when she first saw that kiss. Paige has rage.
NEXT: Paige is a psychotic bitch, and Spencer goes into hardcore Nancy Drew mode.
All of a sudden, it is Ezra’s birthday and Aria is in Ezra’s apartment at maybe 5:45am. Ezra was up late writing an email to Maggie, a.k.a. the girl with Ezra’s high school bun in her high school oven. Did that bun/oven thing work? At school, Aria is shuffling a bunch of papers while Spencer says a lot of words; Aria is trying to figure out how to say “happy birthday” to Ezra, only without the big “happy” party. Spencer offers up some vital help by just saying “birthday.” Spencer is on tonight, you guys! CeCe appears in the middle of the school, which is weird because she is 22 and understandably hotter than everyone else.
CeCe is putting up flyers about her fashion boutique, which Spencer was supposed to help out with. Spencer does not forget anything, and I don’t remember these boutique plans, so I think CeCe is making things up. Regardless, Spencer agrees to wrangle up some sort of gang to help out. CeCe then spots Emily and Paige, asking about their relationship; clearly CeCe is not traveling in the right circles, because I have a feeling everyone in all of Rosewood just talks 24-7 about the only lesbian couple, especially with Dead Maya in the equation there. It seems Ali and Paige had a lot of old drama, in which Ali gave Paige the nickname Pigskin because of weird bumps on Paige’s thighs. OKAY. CeCe says Paige is a psychotic bitch, and Spencer goes into hardcore Nancy Drew mode. Hooray. We are getting into the Ali vs. Paige war, and Emily is obviously pro-Paige. This will get ugly.
Inside school, Hanna and Caleb are secret IMing across their computer class. I don’t think anyone takes computer class after their mandatory HTML class freshman year, but I am also now remembering a weird IMing system on my high school computers so I’m going to shut up. Hanna and Caleb have to keep things on the DL from A slash Jenna slash the world. Their love is too dangerous but also too beautiful. I love Caleb’s forehead scar, basically because I love all kinds of facial scars. I am already in love with you if you have a facial scar. Tweet me a picture of your facial scar and we can elope, like, in eight minutes.
Nate catches up with Emily and legitimately acts like they have been dating forever. Nate understands nothing and Nate needs to leave as soon as possible. Nate is overly aggressive and I really don’t like that behavior around my beautiful lesbian! Emily gives Nate the cold shoulder and speeds away on her bike, because Nate is clearly a crazy dude. Beware. Meanwhile, Aria has teleported to Atlanta or wherever Maggie works (it is not Atlanta); Maggie is giving us big grin realness, pixie cut realness. My assumption that Maggie had an abortion was clearly wrong, because Aria finds out that Maggie has a son. Aria is losing her cool, as she will never be happy with Ezra because they must deal with the most severe drama that any inappropriately aged couple has ever had to deal with. Also, Aria loses at pretending she wants to be a first grade teacher. Aria, you look like you are probably 19 but maybe 14. Maggie’s son, Malcolm, has a very square head.
NEXT: Why’d it have to be snakes?Hanna runs into Jenna outside of school, and by “runs into” I mean that Jenna is sitting on a bench eating cherries out of a Tupperware container. Jenna also puts on her sunglasses mid-conversation. Am I getting Lolita vibes, Jenna? Hanna fesses up about the thumb drive videos and promises that she is not trying to ruin Jenna’s life. Hanna then has to deal with Nate, who is basically stalking Emily before being sidetracked with the knowledge that Jenna faked being blind for a very long time. Oh, right, Nate was in love with Jenna for 27 minutes and wants revenge. Hanna nicknames Jenna “Helen Keller” (original), and Nate screams, “Don’t pretend you don’t see me, girl!” Suddenly, Nate is using street slang from The Wire.
CeCe can’t stop talking about Pigskin, err, Paige. We get a nice flashback from when CeCe was hanging out with Ali in Rosewood, which makes no sense because Rosewood is tiny and the Liars had never met CeCe. Ali wrote Paige a sexy, “moist” (Ali’s choice word, not mine) note from Emily’s stationary, and catches Paige placing a reply note in a secret location that is located in the middle of the town. Very secret and hidden. Ali promises to destroy Paige by unveiling Paige’s sexual preference to her very religious family. I normally enjoy Ali’s extreme bitch shenanigans, but this behavior totally crosses the line. You don’t out a confused high school lesbian. You very much do not do that in my book. That crosses the line.
I have no idea what’s happening inside CeCe’s fashion store, but it looks like CeCe has promised free clothes to all the girls that help set up. I think. Also, the dressing room section of the boutique is literally as large as the actual shopping area. There is a giant Buddha statue glaring at everyone’s clothing options, which makes for maybe not the most welcoming shopping experience. Someone locks Spencer in a changing stall and dumps a skinny black snake in there, and Spencer almost dies. The snake is so skinny but I understand Spencer’s real fear. Spencer does not die because CeCe finds Spencer and attacks the snake with a mannequin’s limb. CeCe is my new favorite because she throws down. I love a girl willing to attack a live snake.
Spencer thinks Paige planted the snake, as a snake is a snake is a snake. Taking a break from the shop, Hanna is wearing a really cute fake crop-top tank with a raccoon on it, and Spencer is just hurtling all of the anti-Paige evidence at Hanna. Hanna and Spencer return to the boutique, where CeCe executes a perfect endorsement of TRESemmé Dry Shampoo. CeCe is making weird clothing options for the girls, but thankfully Spencer puts on a beautiful black lace skirt and Hanna wears a blue beach dress. The girls are just killing it, except there is no audience for these clothes. Womp, two thumbs way down.
A lot happens in the boutique: Caleb sneaks into Hanna’s changing stall to give a secret kiss to his secret re-girlfriend while Emily arrives with Paige. Oof. CeCe is very much Team Anti-Paige, but Emily is distracted by a nice purple dress and Paige is distracted by trying to befriend Spencer. Paige breaks a mannequin finger, which clearly demonstrates homicidal tendencies; Spencer and Hanna dig through Paige’s purse when they’re alone, but Emily catches them and storms out with her lover.
During this whole bit, Aria is having a very awkward birthday dinner with Ezra. Aria and Ezra’s brother are being creepy and whisper a lot, while Ezra is kind of oblivious to this whole thing. Aria needs to catch up on the Ali vs. Paige creepy business instead of dealing with illegitimate children! Aria will solve all later, especially why Maggie won’t tell Ezra about the baby now that everyone has reconnected. Ezra’s brother Wesley is giving me some weird creepfactor in his purple polo. There’s also a moment in here in which PornStarMom destroys the thumb drive that Ted found in his dirty old church, but the episode gives this scene a lot of minutes when it should have been three minutes.
Big lesbian drama alert. Emily makes tea on the stoop to apologize to Paige, and Paige reveals that she does have a history to unload: Ali was a bully, and almost drove Paige to suicide. Heavy, and incredibly sad. Suicide is never the answer! It really does get better! I am not joking. However, I am always distracted during Paige’s big emotional scenes because she literally has the worst wardrobe on television right now. Yes, even worse than Debra Messing’s infamous Smash scarves. Paige, those hoop earrings need to be tossed into Ali’s (empty) grave. Immediately. Throw them away. Do not let the PLL cameraman to zoom in on them again.
Speaking of earrings and Ali’s grave (GOD, sometimes I have really good transitions, you know?), Spencer found Aria’s other red earring while digging through Paige’s purse. You know, the earrings that were in ALI’S GRAVE. Paige is not sane, Emily is not safe. Paige goes inside to wash her face when a wild girl appears in Emily’s yard! I was hoping it was Maya, but we get a good replacement: Jenna. Jenna came to warn Emily about being wary of the people in her life. Jenna is genuinely worried for Emily. Jenna gets in a taxi. Paige ignores a call from Spencer on Emily’s phone. Paige is a scary whore who should never have been trusted. Paige is the enemy. I hope Paige is the enemy and this does not twist again next week, unless the twist shows that Nate is the enemy and Nate brainwashed Emily with evil drugs.
Our A clue shows the Black Glove picking a song on a jukebox (I believe it was the Temptations’ “Smiling Faces Sometimes”)… and a SECOND Black Glove also stands at the jukebox! Black Glove #2 wants to dance with Black Glove #1, but #1 really isn’t having it. #2 is sad. Aww, Black Glove #2! My favorite A credits clue in a very long time. I was upset that this episode didn’t offer a single scene at the coffee shop, but we did get CeCe AND Jenna AND a lot of lesbian stuff. My favorite lesbian drama is probably Wild Things, the god-awful yet truly amazing 1998 “thriller.” It’s so inappropriate, but all lesbian drama is good drama. Remember that mantra. I would like to note that Shay Mitchell,who plays Emily, live tweets weird stuff from @shaymitch with the hashtag #PLLaywithShay. Cute PLLAY on words, my dear. #PLLaywithShay was the top trending top in the United States by 9am EST. We are part of the revolution. Also, Troian Bellisario (Spencer, @sleepinthegardn) said that her scene with the snake was the most fun she’s ever had on set. So much knowledge on the Twitter! AND OMG NEXT WEEK IS THE SUMMER FINALE SO I AM GOING TO END THIS RECAP BY SCREAMING IN ALL CAPS AAAHH!!! Bye.
[Image Credit: ABC Family]
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Fasten your seat belts, friends of Amanda Bynes: The former teen star has had yet another wreck on the road. The 26-year-old actress has been involved in two more car accidents, the Los Angeles Police Department tells Hollywood.com. The most recent incident occurred this past Sunday.
"What happened on Sunday, she was rear-ended," Officer Rosario Herrera, spokesperson for the LAPD, tells us. "There were no injuries reported. So, there was exchange of information only." Herrera adds that the incident occurred in the "Valley area."
And just last week, Bynes found herself in another minor traffic collision "where she left the scene" before cops arrived, according to authorities. To date, Bynes has been arrested for a DUI and was allegedly involved in three other hit-and-run incidents. Should Bynes look to the Fast & Furious franchise for a career revival? We doubt Dominic Torreto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O'Connor (sexy Paul Walker) would give Bynes a set of keys to one of their supped up cars.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
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