The Sherlock series 3 premiere episode "The Empty Hearse" was a kitchen sink homage to every corner of that show's fandom. From Mycroft and Sherlock bickering over a game of Operation to Moriarty and Sherlock sharing a fan fiction-inspired intimate moment on the roof of St. Barts, there was a "squee" moment for everyone.
But extra special attention was paid to fans of the Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper pairing — Sherlolly, for short — and boy, do we have feelings about this episode.
The opening sequence showed a resolution to Sherlock's Reichenbach fake-out that would have made James Bond hang up his tuxedo. After leaping off the building attached to a giant bungee cord, Sherlock snaps back up, crashes through a window, and sweeps Molly off her feet with an epic, tow-curling kiss. Related: that moment where Benedict Cumberbatch shook out his coat, ruffled that glorious hair, and stalked towards Louise Brealey was probably gif-ed faster than Tumblr has ever gif-ed anything before. The sequence is soon revealed to be a product of the now insane Philip Anderson's imagination. But, when Sherlock visits him to share the "real," slightly less dramatic story, Anderson writes it off because he knows that he would be the very last person to whom Sherlock would tell the whole truth. So that means we can accept the first scenario as canon, right? Right.
Why else would Molly assume that Sherlock summons her to Baker Street to invite her to dinner, and not to "solve crimes"? (Not very forthcoming with that engagement information there, huh, Molly?) Regardless, they do go out on a few cases together. They share some knowing looks, reach the same deductions at the same times, and, when Molly asks what John would do in a situation, Sherlock replies, "You're not being John, you're being yourself." He tells her the day was to thank her for what she did for him and tells her that Moriarty's greatest mistake was assuming that Molly meant nothing to Sherlock. "The one person he thought didn't matter to me was the one person that mattered the most." He notices her ring and congratulates her (with a hint of melancholy, perhaps?). Of course, Molly's fiance just happens to be a tall, curly-haired bloke who's fond of scarves and coats with high collars.
Call us illogical, but if the once friendless Sherlock Holmes has built himself an unconventional family, then couldn't he maybe feel romantic affection as well? That's character development, people.
Hey Kids! This episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is sponsored by irony! Irony is when you say something but mean the opposite, often to a humorous effect. Dramatic irony, because let’s face it this show is a drama, is when the audience sees something happening that the characters don’t see and we enjoy it on a whole other level. The not-so lovely ladies of Atlanta are not afraid to tell it to you straight crooked in order to stay in the limelight.
The episode begins with Kenya Moore and an extra carrying legal briefs celebrating her "win." She gets granted political amnesty for her alleged eviction using the case of America vs. Elle Woods c/o Legally Blonde for her defense. She told the judge there was no mens rea, or whatever. She gets greeted by "paparazzi" that included two random guys using cameraphones and a gentleman with a notepad. She has lunch with NeNe Leakes, who she just fought with last week, to hear her advice about mending fences with the ladies.
Meanwhile, Tina and Ike Cynthia and Peter are struggling with Cynthia’s mysterious "disease." It turns out she has fibroids in her uterus which she has known since she first had her pre-teen child. But now she has a mysterious "baby bump" and can't stop eating. It's ironic she would work so hard to fabricate this health scare storyline when the slow destruction of her marriage feeds the drama of the show. Also, how mysterious is this disease (see how easy irony is to use?) if she knows she has it? She tries to convince her verbally abusive husband but he just reminds her to lose weight. If only he reminded her to return those copies of Sleeping with the Enemy, Enough and What’s Love Got To Do With It to Blockbuster she might never have to stress eat in the first place. She gets vindicated when the doctor confirms that she needs surgery. Peter show’s he’s a loving husband by saying, “I’m so glad that I’m not a selfish guy, because, if I was, then we wouldn’t really have a relationship.” He's such a great husband. I mean that ironically of course.
NeNe likes to seem above it all but she wants to guide this entire season. Despite their blow-up last week, NeNe organizes mea culpa drinks with Kenya, Phaedra Parks and the girls to to clear the air and respct the “G code.” In the confrontation that follows, Kenya says, “I’m nobody’s whore and I’m nobody’s fool.” But aren’t you, Kenya? Aren’t you whoring out your self-respect for Bravo and acting a fool on national television? More importantly, was NeNe Leakes her original stripper name back in the day?
Porsha Williams spends the whole episode acting above it all with her divorce. Meanwhile, she’s bad-mouthing her husband whenever she can and being slightly materialistic. She shows no shame asking her mother for the master bedroom...while living rent-free. Did her materialism and selfishness ever pop up in her mind as reasons for divorce? Porsha also premieres a new pixie cut wig.
The coup de grace of irony is in Kandi land. Kandi Burruss heads to her mother's new house to discuss her impending nuptials. I should mention this is Kandi's old house. Miss Joyce loses it and goes off on Kandi about her fiance, Todd, taking advantage of her. It’s funny because this should come from a woman who is living in a hand-me-down house and capitalizing on her daugter's success on a second-tier cable network show. Remember when reality shows were less about being ironic and more about getting real? Hopefully there will be a laugh track inserted soon.
The Episode 2 Awards!
Best New Word: snig dig - "Hey ladies, sorry if I interrupted your snig dig." -Apollo Best Hair Change: Kandi for most number of hair changes per episode.Best Read of a Friend: "All this d**k in Atlanta, and you gotta text somebody else’s man. Girl, go on!" - NeNe Leakes Best Read of a Friend in a Supporting Role: "Porsha’s new wig is very interesting...she has a very small head. Small heads mean little brains." - Phaedra Best Out Line Ever: “I know you wanna choke me right now.” - Miss Joyce (while leaving the room) Most Necessary Comma in a Sentence: "He ain't giving you a dime — he's sleeping, eating on you." - Miss Joyce
Tuesday morning, the New York Times published an article penned by Angelina Jolie in which she revealed that she had recently undergone a double mastectomy. She described her decision to move forward with the multiple procedures after doctors informed her that she had an 87 percent chance of getting breast cancer. Now, following the double mastectomy, Jolie only has a five percent risk. While some people are questioning Jolie's decision to get the procedure done, her life partner and the father of her six children, Brad Pitt, is standing by her side.
"Having witnessed this decision firsthand, I find Angie’s choice, as well as so many others like her, absolutely heroic," Pitt tells the London Evening Star. "I thank our medical team for their care and focus."
Pitt adds: "All I want for is for her to have a long and healthy life, with myself and our children. This is a happy day for our family."
In Jolie's New York Times piece, she also described how grateful she was to have Pitt's support during this trying time. "I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive," she wrote. "So to anyone who has a wife or girlfriend going through this, know that you are a very important part of the transition. Brad was at the Pink Lotus Breast Center, where I was treated, for every minute of the surgeries. We managed to find moments to laugh together. We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has."
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat
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Michael Jordan, 50, married model Yvette Prieto, 35, in a lavish 2,000-guest wedding in Florida on Saturday. The star-studded event was built to rival any Trump wedding, in fact, the pair said their vows before 500 guests at Bethesda-by-the-Sea Episcopal Church in Palm Beach — the church where Donald Trump married wife Melania in 2005.
After the ceremony, another 1,500 guests joined the happy couple in Jupiter, Florida, for the reception at the Bears Club, a Jack Nicklaus-designed golf course community. On Thursday, a crew of 50 staffers spent the day setting up three tents in the backyard and onlookers said of the spectacle, "I've never seen anything like it."
Jordan, who now owns the Charlotte Bobcats, and Prieto met at a nightclub in 2008 and got engaged in 2011. The Cuban-American beauty also dated Julio Iglesias, Jr., who once said of her: "She's a fantastic girl and I like her. Aside from her beauty, which is obvious, she is loving, simple and very good person."
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The basketball legend, who lives nearby in a stunning 37,000-square-foot mansion in Jupiter, has been down the aisle before. He and wife of 18 years Juanita Vanoy split in 2006 and it was reported that their divorce settlement was possibly worth more than $150 million.
No expense was spared to make the couple's big day private. Check out the aerial view of the incredible 40,000-square-foot wedding tent, which is the size of three football fields!
Photo courtesy of Jeff Lichtenstein Realty
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Veronica Mars is a mom! Erstwhile TV detective Kristen Bell and her fiance, actor Dax Shepard (currently seen making you cry a whole bunch on NBC's drama Parenthood and in his personal blog posts about his dying father), welcomed their first child together.
Proud father Shepard tweeted the happy news on Thursday, March 28:
Lincoln Bell Shepard is here. She has mom's beauty and dad's obsession with breasts. Hooray!!!
— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) March 28, 2013
RELATED: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Expecting Their First Child
Bell posted a picture of her dog cuddling up to her very pregnant belly the day before.
— Kristen Bell(@IMKristenBell) March 27, 2013
Shepard recently wrote about how Bell surprised his dying father with a trip to Detroit so he could meet their unborn baby.
"At one point, and unbeknownst to both of us, my wife walked into the room. She had flown in from LA without any warning. It was a surprise. It was an amazing, incredible, perfectly timed surprise. She lifted her shirt up and he put his hand on her swollen stomach. He left it there for the better part of an hour. He was smiling from ear to ear, sitting contently, unable to put together a sentence, but still capable of connecting to the new family member we were creating. He wasn’t going to make it to the birth, but that didn’t get in the way of him meeting the new baby. It was an emotional and triumphant moment. One I will never forget. If I live to be a thousand, I will still be in debt to my wife for giving him that one last thrill."
Congratulations to your current favorite Hollywood couple, who have almost certainly produced your next favorite celebrity baby.
Follow Jean on Twitter @hijean
[Photo Credit: Lester Cohen/WireImage]
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This week’s Once Upon a Time was a whirlwind of answers — both from the past and the present. We discovered where August has been hiding, more about the mysterious “Her” that Owen keeps calling, and how everything and everyone seems to be connected in Storybrooke — whether you like it or not. Plus, fans were treated to the knowledge that Hook has escaped from his NYC basement and his handsome face will soon return to our TV screens. Read on for all of the enchanting details you may have missed from, “Selfless, Brave, and True.”
Hong Kong Hallucinations: In a flashback to Phuket circa 2011, August was enjoying sweet dreams with an attractive lady at his bedside. Everything looked peachy until August was startled awake with a horrible and very fairytale specific side-effect: His leg was turning to wood. The doctors at the hospital scoffed at August because to the non-magical eye, his leg looked perfectly fine. Just when all seemed lost, August was introduced to a mystical healer by the name of The Dragon. It looks like August wasn’t the only familiar face hoping to be cured, Tamara — Neil’s NYC fiancé — was also in the waiting room!
RELATED: 'Once Upon A Time' Recap: A Fresh Start And A Blackened Heart
August entered the room and immediately The Dragon recognized that he was Pinocchio, and that his left leg was reverting back to its former wooden glory. For payment, the healer asked for a personal item that is irreplaceable, so August reluctantly passed along the string of his necklace because it was once one of the strings attached to him as a puppet. The dragon — clearly a man who enjoys the finer things in life — also asked for $10,000 and in exchange, he would give August a glowing, totally legit-looking vial of potion.
August clearly did not have enough money to pay The Dragon, but while he was silently panicking, Tamara invited him to join her for a drink and pulled out a gigantic envelope filled with cash to pay the bartender. Predictably, when Tamara stepped out to take a call, August snatched the cash and bought his magic potion from The Dragon. Just when he was about to swallow his cure, Tamara — clearly super pissed — came out of nowhere and chased a limping August down an alley. August dropped the vial and Tamara snatched it up, leaving her former drinking buddy in the gutter.
Here’s the twist: Tamara lied to August and said that she had cancer — however there was nothing wrong with Tamara when she went to go see The Dragon. It turns out Tamara is some kind of magic hunter, and up until now, her long journey had only brought her to frauds and fakes. But The Dragon was the real deal. However, despite that fact that The Dragon could create real magic, Tamara whipped out a stun gun and killed him — it was pretty random and confusing as to why a stun gun was her weapon of choice, but hey girl, no judgment.
RELATED: 'Once Upon A Time' Post Mortem: The Cast Reacts To [spoiler!]'s Murder
Storybrooke Solutions: Emma, Neil, Henry and the fresh from New York Tamara were having what appeared to be the world’s most awkward breakfast together. When Emma and Henry stepped out, Neil decided it would be best to tell Tamara the truth of his past and whipped out Henry’s fairytale book — but like any seemingly normal person, Tamara thought Neil was being crazy. She told Neil to come find her when he was ready to reveal his true feelings about their relationship and then stormed off to Granny’s.
Snow finally decided to get out of bed after weeks of wallowing, and went to the forest to practice a little sharp shooting. She discovered a trailer where August has been hiding, and was shocked to see that he had completely reverted back to wood — yet he could still walk and talk like a human. August told Snow that he doesn’t want anyone to ever see him like this, he was not returning to Stroybrooke and she should not tell anyone where he was.
It only took about 2.5 seconds for Snow to run to Granny’s and spill August’s secret to Emma, Gepetto — and inadvertently Tamara too, because the nosy stranger was eavesdropping. While Emma and Snow headed to The Blue Fairy to ask for her help, Tamara discovered August’s hiding place and offered him a deal: If he left Storybrooke, and promised to never return, August could have the potion that she stole back from him two years ago. All he wood have to do is drive back to her NYC apartment to get it. When August questioned Tamara’s motives in Storybrooke, she quickly dismissed his accusations but did reveal that she was indeed “quite human.”
RELATED: 'Once Upon A Time' Recap: The Fairest Of Them All Takes A Dark Turn
Just as August was crossing the town lines, he discovered a picture that Tamara claimed she had given to The Dragon as payment. August quickly realized that Tamara not only lied, but had also killed The Dragon. He retuned to Stroybrooke and attempted to call and warn Emma of Tamara’s evil ways, however, Tamara cut off his call and used her taser to zap the life out of August’s solid wood body. August died in Emma’s arms before he could reveal the name of his electrically-charged assailant.
But all was not lost! Because August acted “selfless, brave, and true” that day, The Blue Fairy restored life to our handsome hero — but of course there was a twist. August was brought back to life, but he was turned back into a “real boy” — not a real man — and he had no recollection of his former hot and grown-up self. At Neil’s side, Tamara witnessed the whole thing and she assured/lied to her fiancé that despite all of this craziness, he is what she signed up for.
Later that night, Owen — who Regina finally recognized and threatened — went to call the infamous “Her” in his phone, only to realize that she was right outside his door. “Her” is actually Tamara, and in the creepiest and most bizarre twist of the entire episode, the two magic-obsessed individuals began making out.
RELATED: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Post Mortem
What did you think of “Selfless, Brave, and True”? What do you think Tamara wants with the magic is Storybrooke: Will she destroy it or keep it? Are you devastated that we’re never going to see grown-up August again? Cast your spell in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: ABC]
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This week’s episode of Glee was like a bowl of free waiting room candy. It was sweet, generic, and it made you smile, but it didn’t change your day too much. It was really just a way to help pass the time. In “Guilty Pleasures,” the glee club revealed their deepest darkest secrets while our terrific threesome in New York did the exact same thing. One person professed their love while another finally got their ass kicked to the curb — find out who’s who and so much more in this week’s glee-bee loving recap!
So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:
You Put The Boom Boom Into My Heart: The episode opens and we see Blaine looking all kinds of adorable in his Cheerios uniform and offering his best buddy Sam 50 dollars. Apparently when Blaine was walking through the cafeteria the other day he saw Sam stealing bags of pasta, and Blaine just wants to make sure that everything is all right with his family. Sam admits with a reluctant smile, “I have been stealing pasta but it’s not for dinner, it’s art.” (Side-Note: Color me intrigued…)
Sam takes his bestie into an empty classroom and reveals his incredible macaroni portraits featuring Emma Stone, Leann Rimes, The dudes from Duck Dynasty, and Kurt. Sam admits, “They’re my guilty pleasure, my art teacher thinks I’m some sort of genius.” (Side-Note: These are great and all my dear Sam, but where is the portrait of your lady love Miss Brittany S. Pierce? Doesn’t she deserve to have her lovely face captured in the essence of macaroni? Sigh.)
Sam then tells Blaine it’s his turn to reveal his guilty pleasure. “Everybody’s got that one thing that they like — that they’re so ashamed of that they refuse to admit it to anybody.” In order to stop himself from professing his love for Sam right then and there, Blaine quickly admits that he loves the ‘80s band Wham!
Tina then pops into the classroom, revealing that Mr. Schue is sick that week and glee club is therefore canceled. Sam then says one of the best lines of the entire episode: “Hey, just curious, are you going to go over to his house, straddle him while he’s passed out, and rub some ointment on his chest?” (Side-Note: Hah! Burn! Goodness it’s nice to see Trouty Mouth using those lips for well-timed jokes instead of just those countless impressions. And sorry Tina, but it’s still beyond weird that you vapo-raped Blaine.)
Blaine and Sam decide to take over the New Directions for the week, and they assign a fun new assignment: Guilty Pleasures! (Side-Note: Has anyone else noticed the fact that Mr. Schue has been MIA for the majority of the season? Tsk tsk! He used to be so devoted to these kids — he would teach even when he was sick and hallucinating mini New Directioners!) Blaine and Sam break quickly break into a finger-snapping, shorty shorts-wearing, neon-infused rendition of Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” and it was pure ‘80s perfection. (Side-Note: Do you think Glee’s version of “Wake Me Up” was better than Zoolander’s or Family Guy’s? Cast your vote in our Wham!-tastic poll!)
Later in the locker room, Sam admits another shameful secret to Blaine: Sam is a Barry Manilow fan! Blaine encourages his friend to embrace his inner Fanilow at glee club, so Sam puts on the most ruffly purple sleeves I have ever seen in my entire 23 years of existence and shimmies and shakes his way through the choir room singing “Copacabana.”
As the music plays, one-by-one the New Directioners join Sam, showcasing their hottest dance moves. (Side-Note: Okay who else saw Brittany channeling her inner Rebel Wilson and doing a little mermaid dancing on the choir room floor?! Don’t ever change honey!) At the end of the performance the boys all admit that they too love Mr. Barry Manilow, and Sam looks like an overly excited second grader as he beams at his friends.
Spice Up Your Life: Over in the hallway, Brittany approaches Kitty with a blunt and amazing greeting. “Guess what? Everyone hates you.” Kitty quickly explains that she’s trying to be better, and that even her pastor says “Jesus took baby-steps.” Brittany quickly counters, “Do you go to the church of Satan? Because you’re really mean. You tell Marley that she’s fat even though your face looks like a soccer ball and we both know that blondes have magical powers like doing the splits and turning Swedish.” (Side-Note: It’s so true. We blondes do have magical powers. However do you think my hair gets this shiny? Or how do you explain that I practically survive on gummy bears and coffee? It’s magic!)
Holy Crap it’s time for the greatest web series ever created: Fondue For Two!! (Side-Note: I knew it was coming but I still screamed when I saw that gooey cheese flash across my TV screen. Fondue For Two automatically makes me all warm and fuzzy inside and I fully intend to channel my blonde magical powers and be a guest on there one day. Dream big ladies!) Brittany automatically jumps into her brilliantly honest self. “So Kitty, everyone at school hates you because you’re a two-faced lying slut who no one can trust.” Miss Pierce says that people just haven’t really gotten to know her yet, so she needs to use this time on Fondue for Two to reveal her deepest darkest secrets — her guilty pleasures. Kitty reveals, “I like to fart around old people and watch their faces because they just assumed they did it.” (Side-Note: Um… ew.)
The two lovely ladies go back and forth, admitting their love of all the Bring it On movies, and Kitty finally whispers her guiltiest of pleasures into Brittany’s ear. The next day at school, Tina and the rest of the glee club ladies confront Kitty — demanding to know what her secret is. Kitty refuses but Brittany lets it slip: The Spice Girls. Cue the natural girl freak out in 3… 2… 1! The ladies shriek in delight and all admit that they absolutely love the Spice Girls. (Side-Note: Fun-Fact: When I was in 5th grade I hosted a Spice Girls sleepover and invited all my friends to dress up as their favorite singer. Obviously I was Baby Spice and I rocked that lollipop and pigtails with pride.)
Over in the auditorium the girls are deciding which Spice Girl they all want to be, and Brittany looks to Unique saying — “Mercedes, I don’t think you should be Scary Spice just because you’re black. I think it’s really racist that Scary Spice is the only black one.” So here’s the breakdown: Brittany is Sporty, Marley is Posh, Kitty is Ginger, Unique is Baby and that leaves Tina as Scary. (Side-Note: Umm no. If Unique wanted to be Scary, why is she stuck being Baby Spice? I personally think that Marley’s doe-eyes would have been best for Baby and then Tina could get some sexy time to shine as Posh. The next time I see Mr. Murphy I’m definitely bringing this up!)
After a super spicy introduction from Sam and Blaine, the music starts and our Glee girls pay homage to a ‘90s classic “Wannabe.” (Side-Note: Damn. I’m kinda sad I’m not more excited about this. Kitty looks all kinds of fierce as Ginger and Marley is pulling off Posh way more then I ever thought she could, but I really think that someone else besides Unique should have had the lead vocals in this song. I would’ve loved to hear Brittany rap out the A-Z part. And they clearly should’ve let Ryder take part in this. He was adorably excited during this whole performance.)
NEXT: Boyfriend Pillows and Ex-Boyfriends
Confessions and Cash: What a coincidence you guys! In the amazing New York side of Glee, Kurt is also admitting his guilty pleasures. From his obsessive marathons with powerhouse women in TV history, to his sweating with the oldies workout tapes with the one and only Richard Simmons — Kurt has quite a few guilty pleasures. (Side-Note: I personally wish his guilty pleasure would be calling Blaine more often, but hey that’s just my suggestion. Now please excuse me while I re-watch “Come What May” again…)
But Kurt’s deepest darkest guilty pleasure is his boyfriend arm — oh yes, you read that correctly! Basically it’s a pillow that looks like half of a headless torso that you can sleep with at night so you can feel like you’re being cuddled. (Side-Note: Okay I’m torn. On one hand this is beyond creepy, but on the other I want to lay down with a fella pillow and see what all the fuss is about. I’d name my pillow Hunter. Bonus Points to the first person who tweets me if they know the meaning behind my fake man-pillow’s name.)
After watching Santana and Kurt bicker in the bathroom while Rachel is channeling her inner opera-singer in the shower, it’s clear that Brody is no longer a loft resident. (Side-Note: Yeah, I guess getting your skanky ass whooped by your girlfriend’s true love would be pretty intimidating.) We then see a flashback to when Body was moving out, and he didn’t even give Rachel a real reason for their breakup saying, “We’ll always be friends.” To which Santana replies, “Puke.” (Side-Note: Sheesh I love you Santana! I said, “Ugh barf,” at the exact same moment. Kindred spirits.)
Santana then offers to cheer Rachel up by playing an innocent little prank on Kurt, but when the two girls go in to put his hand in a pot of warm water, they see his secret. Kurt reluctantly introduces the girls to Bruce and makes it clear that they cannot borrow him. So instead, Kurt presents the ladies with their very own boyfriend arms — well, actually, Santana’s is wearing nightgown and has one breast so she gets a girlfriend arm. (Side-Note: How thoughtful! And I’m just saying, but I’ve seen Brittany wearing a flannel shirt once or twice before that looks exactly like that!)
However, Rachel is not too pleased with her gift. “I’m not lonely, okay?" she says. "I don’t need anything to cuddle with. Just because Brody moved out doesn’t mean that we’re not getting back together." (Side-Note: Oh sweet sweet Rachel if only you knew the truth. Oh wait, Santana’s about to tell you. Yay!) Santana can’t take it anymore saying, “I was wrong about Brody being a drug dealer... I was just wrong about what he was selling. Your boyfriend wasn’t a cater-waiter, he was a giggalo. Like Magic Mike — with happy endings for money.”
Rachel looks like she’s about to pass out and looks to Kurt for conformation. It only takes one solemn glance from her best friend for Rachel to realize that the whole thing is true, and she storms off to her bedroom. (Side-Note: I wonder if Cassie knew that Brody was a prostitute. Did she pay him that night? Did that spark his sex-for-money extra curricular activity? And where the hell is Cassie?! We also weren’t even given a proper goodbye with SJP at Vogue either. Rude.)
The next day at NYADA we see Rachel approach Brody, and the two are about to hold hands when she slips him a little cash. Body looks confused and asks what the money is for. Rachel smiles saying, “I was hoping I could have dinner with you tonight. I’m sorry, is it not enough? I didn’t know what the going rate was these days for male hookers.” (Side-Note: OMG yes!! This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Watching Rachel unleash inner snark is like watching a unicorn frolic with a couple fairies — it’s beautiful and rare as hell, but when it does happen it’s like you don’t ever want the moment to end.)
Brody tells Rachel not to judge him, and that not everyone has “doting daddies” to pay for their college. (Side-Note: How dare you make her feel bad for having two hard-working parents who love her and want her to succeed! Once again, you don’t have to be a professional whore to pay for college. Go. To. Abercrombie.)
Brody clearly thinks that Rachel has been talking to Finn. “Who do you think did this to my face?" he says. "Your ex-fiance! He jumped out of a bathroom and went all Frankenstein on me.” (Side-Note: Um no little Brody, you’re wrong. Finn was only going to punch you once, but then you went ballistic and threw a lamp at his back. Do I really need to explain that lamps are for light, not for throwing? P.S. you totally deserved it.)
Rachel looks shocked, realizing that Finn flew all the way to New York and she knew nothing about it. Brody apologies for lying to her, but he tells Rachel that he’s always been honest about his feelings for her. Rachel admits, “You’re right — I haven’t been completely honest with you. I think that there was a part of me that was using this partly to make Finn jealous, and the other part to just fill my own personal heartache.” (Side-Note: And with that one line Finchel fans get to happily dance around, because Rachel admitted that she never fully had true feelings for Brody. Her fuel for being with him was out of the desire to make Finn jealous and to cure her aching Finn-loving heart. Ahem… Squee!) Rachel and Brody then break into a duet of “Creep” and darkness creeps across the screen, signaling the end of Brochel.
NEXT: Even More Lima Secrets and The Episode’s Best Moments!
Even More Secrets: Tina walks up to the McKinley Spice Girls looking like she’s just seen a ghost and says that she just overheard something horrific. The next thing we know, Marley is practically running down the hall. She yells “Hey!” in a surprisingly manly voice when she sees Jake. “Tell me it’s not true,” she demands. “Tell me you’re not planning to sing a Chris Brown song?!” (Side-Note: Woah there little one. This is coming form a girl who truly despises Chris Brown, but I think you need to tone down the dramatics just a bit, mmkay? You can still get your point across if you tell him calmly; you don’t need to full-on scream at him from across the hallway.)
All of the glee club girls corner Jake in the choir room and list all of the terrible things that Chris Brown has done — and goodness gracious there are a lot! Jake counters their arguments, saying he knows that the singer is a complete douchebag, but he still enjoys listening to some of his songs. “All I’m saying is we should be able to separate the art from the artist.” The girls storm out of the room and Marley gives Jake a look like, “If you ever want to possibly sleep with me in the future, you’d better change your song choice.”
After the Spice Glees have their time to shine, Jake announces that he is not singing a Chris Brown song... but he is going to be singing a different Brown song. The music starts ,and Jake's super-sweet dance moves take over as he belts out Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative.” (Side-Note: I could watch Jake’s super sweet dance moves all damn day. I’m really hoping to see a routine with he and Mike Chang in the near future, so fingers crossed!)
Over in the hallway, Tina is embracing one of her favorite guilty pleasures as Vicky the robot girl from the ‘80s cult show Small Wonder. (Side-Note: Okay, even I don’t fully get that reference, so how are all you lovely glee-bees supposed to know what the heck Tina is doing? I’m with Kitty, this is strange.) Jake comes over to the girls and apologizes, saying that that he didn’t realize that Bobby Brown allegedly got Whitney Houston hooked on crack. He and Marley are once again peachy keen, and they celebrate the end of their fight with a sweet yet passionate kiss.
In the library, Sam encourages Blaine to reveal even more secrets to the Glee club. So in just a matter of minutes, in a dimly lit auditorium we see a solemn-looking former warbler sitting at the piano. Blaine begins playing and it only takes 1.5 seconds for me to realize something magical is going on: They’re letting Darren Criss sing live! (Side-Note: I know that Blaine is not a universally loved character, but goodness gracious you have to admit that Darren is a fantastic singer! There are very few people on that show besides Lea, Chris and possibly Naya who could beautifully carry a scene without pre-recording the song. Bravo handsome!)
Blaine sings a simple yet powerful rendition of Phil Collins’ “Take a Look at Me Now,” and it’s clear to everyone that he’s dedicating this song to Sam. Tina — clearly still pissed that Blaine couldn’t switch sides for her — calls him out in front of everyone requesting to know who the song was about. (Side-Note: I absolutely love the fact that Kitty hit Tina and told her to “Shut it.” I was thinking the exact same thing. Protective and sweet Kitty is definitely my favorite side to this fierce cheerio.) Blaine quickly scrambles for an answer saying. “It was about Kurt obviously, the breakup is still a fresh wound.” Lies.
The Final Five: Back in the auditorium, Sam finds Blaine and says to his friend what we’ve all known for weeks now: “Dude it’s okay I get it, your guilty pleasure is me. I’ve known all year, and frankly, I’m an attractive guy. If you are into dudes and you weren’t into me then I’d probably be pretty offended.” (Side-Note: Aww that was sweet! But I’m totally over these unnecessary crushes now.) Sam tells Blaine that nothing is going to change and they are still going to be McKinley High’s two best bros, and they hug it out.
Over in the NYC loft, Kurt and Santana are enjoying a Facts of Life marathon. Rachel enters the room and announces that even though she and Brody are going to remain professional at school they are officially… wait for it… over! Rachel then takes a moment to thank Santana for trying to make her realize the truth, saying that she’ll never doubt her psychic Mexican third eye ever again. Rachel also adds, “I appreciate you getting Finn to come and defend my honor.” (Side-Note: See! Even Rachel thinks what Finn did was romantic!)
The music starts in New York, and the sounds of ABBA’s “Mamma Mia” fills the loft. Over in Lima, the glee club emerge on stage in some of the craziest, most amazing costumes we’ve ever seen. (Side-Note: First of all, why is this song a guilty pleasure? I openly LOVE it! Also, the fact that Brittany is wearing a cape is perfect. All is right in the world now that she has unleashed our magical blonde secret — and bonus Points for the hula-hoops.) The song ends far too quickly, and we bid adieu to our gleeks for the next three weeks.
Most Heartwarming Moment: Rachel thanking Santana for being a great friend and inviting her to live in the loft permanently. Oh, and Fondue For Two!
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Hearing Kitty say that Lord Tubbington only has three weeks to live, and realizing that I won’t be able to come up with creative yet vicious ways to make fun of Brody
“Hunger is a big problem in this country, although so is obesity which is confusing.” — Blaine
“We both know that blondes have magical powers like doing the splits and turning Swedish.” — Brittany
“Hey, just curious, are you going to go over to his house, straddle him while he’s passed out, and rub some ointment on his chest?” — Sam
“Lord Tubbington’s guilty pleasure is scientology.” — Brittany
“Nothing’s scarier than a girl with a penis.” — Kitty
“One, Rachel’s beautiful. Two, you’re a bitch. And three, those are my beauty products.” — Kurt
What did you think of “Guilty Pleasures”? How are you feeling knowing that Brody and Rachel are officially over? Does anyone actually miss having the adults around? Sing me your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
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We don't know whether it was because Donald Trump decided to let a giant piece of Honeycombs cereal permanently rest on his head or when he started going on and on about the president's birth certificate, but Celebrity Apprentice is now about nothing other than ridiculous moments. This week the two teams of "all stars" had to make a five minute long soap opera to promote Crystal Light's new "Goo You Squeeze Into Water Because It Doesn't Have Enough Flavor." Wait, that's not what it was called, but if LaToya Jackson can't get the name right, why should I bother? Here are the 10 most ridiculous moments of the night.
10. Gary Busey Has Gone to the Spiritual Realm: When Marilu Henner apologizes to Gary he tells her he's been injected with love from angel. He's a human in an angel suit. Sure, whatever you say, Gary. Just don't say anything else in your creepy squeaky voice anymore.
9. The Layered Magenta Top with a Bow and Brooch That Omarosa Manigault Wears: Why does it look like she's wearing a wedding cake dyed pink?
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8. Omarosa Vs. LaToya: When Ms. Jackson because we're nasty laid down the law and told Omarosa she wasn't going shopping, Omarosa got pissed and lippy, then LaToya told her to quiet down, echoing the sentiments of everyone in America who watches this show. That was the disrespect that really set Omarosa off, and they both had their hands on their hips and started calling each other boo and using fake passive aggressive niceness and, well, it was all over. But, sorry O, this round went to LaToya.
7. Trace Adkins Compares Susan Lucci to Horse Flesh: Really, Trace? That's the best you can do for 20 time Emmy loser Susan Lucci?
6. Trace's Threats: When Stephen Baldwin was bossing around Marilu, Trace spoke in a voice as calm as a sleeping child and as deep as the pit the Balrog fell into. "Stephen, if you're not nicer to Marilu, I'm going to kill you." Nothing scarier than that.
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5. LaToya Doesn't Know the Crystal Light Brands: On every reality show there is one thing you don't do: don't forget the lyrics on American Idol, don't give up immunity on Survivor, and don't mess up the name of the brand on Apprentice. LaToya, how can you not know the first rule of Donald Trump's Celebrity Fight Club?
4.Omarosa's Crocodile Tears: I don't know what's worse, Omarosa bringing out her tears over her dead fiance for the second week in a row or that the show keeps pressing the point of her pain. And honestly, Omarosa, you shouldn't get all bent out of shape about the 911 call your husband made before he died. Every 911 call in California is public domain and comes out in the press, so what did you think you were going to do to stop it?
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3. Jokes About Dennis Rodman's Hankie: Claudia asked if there was DNA on the hankie he lent to Omarosa to dry her tears. Seriously? Where do you think he was pleasuring himself? Also, gross.
2. LaToya Didn't Take Omarosa Into the Boardroom: Is she crazy? Is she crazy like a fox? There were plenty of reasons to get rid of Omarosa and she was fighting hard in the boardroom, so why not bring her back? Did LaToya have a plan? It must have been a crazy plan because there was no reason to boot out Dennis or Brande. No matter what her plan was, it backfired because she ended up being fired. Sorry LaToya, you only had room for one mistake, and you made it.
1. That This Show Is Two Hours Long: Seriously, there was about 45 minutes of good drama last night wrapped up in 75 minutes of stuff that no one, not even the ever self-aggrandizing Donald Trump, cares about. I know that NBC's schedules has more holes than Gary Busey's tattered boxer shorts, but that is no reason to keep this bloated mess of a show on for two hours, for criminey's sake.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: NBC]
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While the rest of Hollywood was preparing for the 85th Academy Awards, Christina Applegate and her fiance Martyn LeNoble had other plans. The couple got married on Saturday, Applegate's rep tells Hollywood.com.
It sounds like Applegate and LeNoble wanted to keep their nuptials somewhat under the radar, as they "exchanged vows on Saturday, Feb. 23, 2013 surrounded by family in a private ceremony at their home in Los Angeles," the rep tells us. And while most of Hollywood's celebritites were likely trying on their red carpet outfits for the next day, Applegate instead dressed up in her Maria Lucia Hohan wedding gown, with Neil Lane providing wedding rings, People reports.
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After dating for two years and getting engaged on Valentines Day in 2010, Applegate, 41, and LeNoble, 43 — who is a founding member of the band Porno for Pyros — welcomed the birth of their daughter, Sadie Grace, in January 2011. Now, the entire family can celebrate the recent nuptials.
This is the second marriage for both Applegate and LeNoble. Applegate, who starred in Up All Night, was previously married to Johnathon Schaech for six years. They divorced in 2007, just before Applegate started dating LeNoble.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: Chris Pizzello/AP Photo]
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The model lost her photographer partner Simon Atlee when the huge tidal wave hit Thailand, and has focused on helping fellow survivors of natural disasters ever since the tragedy.
On Monday (10Dec12) she was one of the stars who attended a special Los Angeles premiere of The Impossible, which tells the story of real-life survivor Maria Belon struggling to find her family in the aftermath of the horror.
Following the screening, Nemcova revealed she was left overwhelmed during movie, because it captured the fear and power of that day perfectly.
She tells Entertainment Tonight, "The movie's done in such a powerful way and in a very accurate way. Everything from the hotel, to the wave, to the devastation, as well as the emotional linkages between the family members, as well as the unconditional love and compassion which has been created between strangers because of the devastation - all is incredibly accurate.
"It definitely had a huge impact on me... The first half (of the movie) is 90 per cent of what I've been through personally. I never thought that this 2004 Asian Tsunami could be captured in such a powerful and honest way. They did an incredible job."
The Impossible stars Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor.
Premiere of a reality series in which American men meet women from other countries and have 90 days to decide if they want to get married before their visas expire.
Episode 2. Culture Shock
(AIR DATE 01/19/2014)
Kirlyam misses home and struggles in her new living arrangements; Paola isn't thrilled to be sharing a house with Russ' parents; Aziza encounters skepticism from Mike's family; Louis tells his ex-wife and sons about Aya's arrival.
Episode 3. Enough is Enough
(AIR DATE 01/26/2014)
Russ and Paola move into their own apartment. Aya meets Louis' ex-wife and boys for the first time. Kirlyam takes a trip to a salon where Alan learns she's been referred to a modeling agency. Aziza and Mike hit a pivotal milestone in their relationship.
Episode 4. 90 Days Isn't Enough
(AIR DATE 02/09/2014)
Paola goes to a tailgate bash with Russ; Mike's mom confronts Aziza at her bachelorette party; Aya is upset when Louis cuts corners on their wedding; Kirlyam's big opportunity is a cause of concern for Alan.
Episode 5. Didn't Expect This
(AIR DATE 02/16/2014)
Aziza is upset with Mike when he disappears after his bachelor party; Alan and Kirlyam's rush to the altar creates additional stress; Paola shops for a wedding dress, but is unsure about Russ' work schedule; Aya's limited budget may prevent the wedding of her dreams.
Women travel to the U.S. on K-1 visas to live with their prospective husbands for the first time. The couples must marry before their visas expire in 90 days or the women must leave the country and return home.