People magazine is poised to announce their Sexiest Man Alive in next week's issue--and women everywhere are all a-quiver about it.
Well, of course, they are. Why wouldn't they be? A whole magazine full of handsome young men who titillate women simply by gazing at them from the page. Yummy.
One point, though, I feel I should mention. Sure, it's fun to ogle the glamour boys in all their splendor, but if you think about it too long and analyze the situation, doesn't it seem sort of redundant? You take a movie star who is clearly already a sexy guy and give him the label just because it sells.
But, in my true blonde style, who wants to think about such things? Who wants to think AT ALL? Just go with it.
Here are my guesses on who might get the cover; they may be a little biased towards movie stars because, well, that's my true obsession. So sue me.
Affleck could be a long shot since Pearl Harbor was a semi-dud at the theaters, and he doesn't seem to have much of a career going. But he's still a bona fide cutie and troubled as well--you remember, the drinking problem. Maybe being the sexiest man alive will do the trick to get him out of his rut.
The entire cast of Ocean's Eleven
Good lord, could a cast get any sexier? So, as a collective, I think People magazine should consider the following: George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Matt Damon. Andy Garcia. Heck, I'll even throw in director Steven Soderbergh for good measure. True, he is a little goofy looking but standing next to the other guys, who'll notice?
Crowe's definitely earned the surliest man alive title, but that's OK; he still looks really good even if he never cracks a smile. Crowe was the "It" guy last year, especially after winning the Academy Award for Best Actor for his manly Maximus in Gladiator, and he's got another Oscar caliber role coming up, playing a sexy schizophrenic in A Beautiful Mind. Hey, I like the sound of that one.
Oh, come on! Why not? Sure, he's channeling the all-American nice guy Jimmy Stewart, but Hanks could be sexy. He may not be drop-dead gorgeous, but he possesses all the great qualities women love--he's kind, funny, has a great smile. And he pined for his woman for many long years, deserted on a tropical island in Cast Away, talking to a volleyball, for the love of Pete. That should account for something. Look, even Stewart was considered a real ladies' man in his day.
I can see you nodding your heads…yes, he makes an incredibly sexy president of the United States. And he's smart, hard-headed, fair, vulnerable and loyal. Just the kind of president I believe this country desperately wishes for. As well, Martin Sheen, along with his show The West Wing, has turned television on its ear.
OK, Willis is one of my personal favorites. I'm not sure if he's ever been considered by those guys at People, but he is simply one of the tastier actors out there. I think it's his sense of humor that crinkles out of his eyes when he looks at you. Or maybe that crooked grin. Or how about you just know he's a good kisser. Hmmm, it's all good. Go see Bandits if you don't believe me.
The international young 'uns
Here's a short list: Heath Ledger--the Australian hunk who melts you completely in A Knight's Tale; Colin Farrell--the Irish honey who is devastatingly gorgeous in the otherwise bad film American Outlaws; Jude Law--the British beauty who couldn't have looked better with a tan in The Talented Mr. Ripley.
OK, OK, that's enough already! Geez, I'm having a heart attack over here.
It's a long way til Super Bowl Sunday, but CBS execs -- God bless them -- are finally giving tube watchers a little something to fight their collective withdrawal.
And no, we ain't talking about football. For to our TV nation, there exists a certain phenomenon much more inexplicably addictive than sports, and it is called "Survivor: The Australian Outback."
Yes. After much media hype and requisite hush-hush, the Eye Network has unveiled this morning the 16 contestants on the sequel to its uber-bankable reality series, which debuts after the Super Bowl on Jan. 28.
The breakdown is as follows: Eight men and eight women (three of them married) ranging from a young pup at age 22 to a more seniorly age 53.
In terms of their occupations, there is an administrative assistant, two bartenders, a chef, a singer-songwriter, a Harvard law student, a personal trainer, an Army intelligence officer, an auto customizer, a corrections officer, a retired cop, a footware designer, a software publisher, an Internet project manager, a part-time nurse/homemaker and a farmer/teacher.
Taping of the Australia-set show was completed long before its air date, with the million-dollar winner and losers already determined. But those facts alone never stopped an average 28 million viewers from getting hooked on the first "Survivor." If anything, the measures to keep the outcome secret egged viewers (not to mention naysayers, speculators and spoilers) on even more.
And judging from fan reactions, reception to "Survivor 2" is going to be just as contentious, if not ratings-sweeping, as the network would hope.
"[I] caught a tantalizing glimpse of the new contestants for "Survivor 2: The Outback" on 'The Early Show' this morning. They've got a couple hot guys this time ... more babes than the last 'Survivor'…," one netizen wrote in the Deja.com chat room alt.musi.yes.
Another netizen contested.
"What's the point of seeing them before the show airs?" the chat roomer said. "Part of the fun was watching the show unfold and the 'characters' come out of their shells. Having preconceived notions about who these people are seems to ruin some of the enjoyment."
Either way, before you know it the nation will soon be addressing these televised 16 by their first names and know their idiosyncrasies by heart.
So take out your pen and paper. Here are their profiles:
Rodger Bingham -- 53, married, from Crittenden, Ky. Rodger is a teacher and also a self-described workaholic.
Amber Brkich -- 22, single, from Beaver, Pa. Amber is currently working as an administrative assistant. Among her many favorite activities are dancing, going out with her friends and ex-sorority sisters and just plain having fun.
Nick Brown -- 23, single, from Steilacoom, Wash. Nick is in his second year at Harvard Law School and hopes to become an Army officer after graduation. As he tells it, he is compassionate, incisive and ambitious.
Alicia Calaway -- 32, single, from New York. Alicia is a personal trainer who describes herself as charismatic, competent and passionate.
Colby Donaldson -- 26, single, from Dallas. Colby is a custom auto designer and builder who describes himself as imaginative, dedicated and flexible.
Maralyn Hershey -- 51, single, from Wakefield, Va. Maralyn is a retired police officer who describes herself as determined, dramatic and multi-faceted. And oh, she was one of the first women officers to be assigned to walking the beat.
Debb Eaton -- 45, single, from Milan, N.H. Debb is a corrections officer at a men's prison. Besides a son working as a Marine sergeant in China, Debb also has an outgoing, athletic and determined attitude toward life.
Elizabeth Filarski -- 23, single, from Boston. Elizabeth is a footwear designer who describes herself as impulsive, intuitive and devoted.
Keith Famie -- 40, divorced, from West Bloomfield, Mich. Keith is a chef and restaurateur -- or in other words, a cook who owns his own restaurant. Much like his cohorts, he says that he is creative, adventurous and passionate.
Kel Gleason -- 32, single, from Fort Hood, Texas. Kel is an Intelligence Officer in the U.S. Army. Unlike the others, he didn't offer a self-description. But if it's at all telling, Gel likes to camp, fish and kayak with his dad.
Kimmi Kappenberg -- 28, single, from Ronkonkoma, N.Y. Kimmi is a bartender (no, not the bar in "Coyote Ugly") in the Big Apple who likes to think of herself as spontaneous, outgoing and creative.
Jerri Manthey -- 30, single, from Los Angeles. Like Kimmi, Jerri is also a bartender, but in her case, an aspiring actress as well. She would like people to know that she is adventurous, fun loving and spontaneous.
Mitchell Olson -- 23, single, from Union City, N.J. Mitchell is an aspiring singer/songwriter who describes himself as witty, outgoing and sexy -- albeit tongue-in-cheekly. For sure, Mitchell will stand high above everyone else since he is 7 feet tall.
Michael Skupin -- 38, married, from White Lake, Mich. Michael is the president of a software publishing company that he founded. He says that he is adventurous, a thrill seeker and a risk taker.
Jeff Varner -- 34, single, from New York. Jeff is an Internet project manager who describes himself as provocative, energetic and competitive.
Tina Wesson -- 40, married, from Knoxville, Tenn. Tina is a part-time nurse and a full-time mom. Her self-description: happy, content, adventurous, outgoing and very much in love.
Let the backstabbing and bickering begin.