All Of Our Ridiculous Questions About NBC’s ‘Rosemary’s Baby’

Although we finally get a look at NBC’s new miniseries Rosemary’s Baby in its first trailer, we actually have more questions than we did before. The show stars Zoe Saldana as Rosemary, a woman who becomes pregnant, but fears that her progeny may or may not be the Antichrist. It’s quite the maternal dilemma. The four-hour mini-series event is airing over two nights, and also features the devilish Jason Isaacs, being as conniving as ever. Most of you probably know the story of Rosemary’s Baby, but for those whose memories are a little fuzzy, or those who may simply find themselves baffled by the teaser, we’ve answered any and all questions you might have. 

First off, what is Rosemary’s Baby?
Good question! Rosemary’s Baby is a psychological horror film released in 1968 and directed by Roman Polanski. The original film was based off a novel written by Ira Levin, and has become a seminal horror classic over the years. Polanski’s film takes place in New York, but this modern retelling shifts its setting to Paris. We’re betting other liberties with the source material will be taken as well.

Do we really need a remake?
Probably not, but at this point, NBC is so desperate for ratings, they are willing to give birth to the Antichrist and bring forth the apocalypse if it means people will watch something on their channel that’s not the Olympics.

Why is Zoe Saldana in this? Isn’t she a movie star?
Well, see, everyone wants a cool mini-series, but not everyone can be on True Detective.

This is about the birth of the Antichrist right? Why is everything so… bright looking?
In all but a scant few instances (like the terrifically dour Hannibal), network television usually fails to set the right mood, shooting and lighting everything like an episode of Friends, so in a way it’s not terribly surprising that Rosemary’s Baby looks like a mid-season episode of a sitcom. On the other hand, the series is being directed by Angiezka Holland, a small screen vet who has lent her directorial know-how on projects like The Wire and The Killing, shows that excelled at crafting chilling, moody settings.

Rosemary's BabyNBC

So is Jason Isaacs is totally the Devil, right?
What! How’d you figure THAT out… Well I guess we’re done here. But seriously, he’s more likely to be some sort of devil worshipper or evil minion than the genuine D-man himself. Though, if he were the devil, he’d probably be named Lou C. Pherr or something totally subtle like that. Gotta keep the viewers guessing.

And he’s a fertility doctor?
We certainly hope so. One has to hope that the really creepy dude at least flashed the couple some sort of credentials before getting free rein to mess around with Saldana’s womb.

So how exactly do you make your own devil baby?
Making a devil baby is super easy. All you have to do is chew on few goat hooves, drink a bit of sparrow’s blood, say some easy to remember incantations and you’ll be showing in no time. It’s that simple. All the celebrities are doing it, so you know it’s safe.

Why is Jason Isaacs stroking a cat at the end of the trailer?
How else are you supposed to know he’s the bad guy? In the year 2014, television viewers can only understand that someone is evil if they are actively stroking a cat. Otherwise, they can just be anybody, really.

Does that mean my grandma is evil?
She send you sweaters for Christmas, doesn’t she?

Rosemary’s Baby premieres May 11 on NBC.