All the Things Scheduled to Happen Before NBC Stops Airing the Olympics

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If thinking about NBC’s lackluster coverage of the last two Olympics fills you with a deep churning rage, you might as well get used to it because things aren’t going to change for a long long while. The network just inked a deal with the International Olympic Committee for coverage of the game through, get this, 2032.

2032! That’s a crazy future date! By 2032, Facebook will become self aware, San Francisco will lose its long-standing battle with the San Andreas fault, and the ghost of Steve Jobs will unveil the iPod 47S, which is only marginally better than the iPod 47. In general, things will be very different, which is why it’s so surprising that NBC will still be providing their wildly incompetent coverage of the Olympics 18 years from now. Who knows if TV will still be a thing in 2032? NBC will probably be beaming curling and old episodes of Law and Order: SVU right into our brain folds by then.

So when can we actually expect a competently presented Olympics not presented by NBC, one that isn’t full of tape delayed events, truncated closing ceremonies, and chatty presenters taking pot shots at other countries? Well, all these things have to happen first.

2015: Marty McFly travels back to the future in Back to the Future Part II. So we’re definitely getting those Nikes and hoverboards next year, right?

2016: The world is supposed to end on February 16th of this year according to that one crazy lady in Ghostbusters.

2018: Forget soccer! Rollerball becomes the world’s most popular sport.

2019: Richard Deckard battles replicants in Blade Runner.

2020: Christian Bale and a bald Matthew McConaughey fight for humanity in the middle of a dragon apocalypse in Reign of Fire.

2022: We turn poor people into yummy bite-size crackers in Soylent Green.

2025: Humanity uses giant Jaegers to fight against Kaiju in Pacific Rim.

2029: The T-1000 is sent into the past to kill Sarah Connor in Terminator.

2030: Ted tells his kids how he me their mother. The story takes a while.

2032: Sgt. John Spartan ponders the mystery of the three sea shells in Demolition Man.