‘American Horror Story’ By the Numbers: The Flying Nun

American Horror Story Recap: Spilt MilkOur favorite fright fest, American Horror Story, has more twists and turns than a game of cat’s cradle in a wind storm. But it’s still made of slightly predictable tropes, some cribbed from traditional genre fare and some all of it’s own. Here’s an accounting of what happened in last night’s episode based on the scariest thing of all: math. The spoiler-phobic should beware.

Dead Bodies: 2 (Grace…again, Alma)

That Amazing Francis Conroy as the Angel of Death but Dressed up Like an Inpatient: 1

Times We See Kit in a Tank Top and Tightey Whiteys: 3

Polygamists: 3 (Kit, Grace, and Alma)

Tuesday Weld References: 1

Times Jude Thinks She’s the Flying Nun1

Times a Person Was Spanked/Slapped/Hit: 6 (Grace, Remy, the fat bitch in Jude’s room)

Cigarettes Smoked: 5

Loaves of Bread Kneaded: 4

Sister Jude’s Freakouts: 3 (beating up the lady, in Dr. Krump’s office, thinking she’s the flying nun)

Aliens: 2 (in Grace’s drawing)

Consecutive Weeks with an Escape Attempt: 11

Successful Escape Attempts: 2 (Bad Santa, Lana)

Sex Acts: 1 (some random inmates in a chair)

Flashbacks/Backstories: 4 (Lana’s ghosts at her reading, Kit’s in the coffee shop)

Butts: 0

Adam Levine Sightings: 0

Unsanitary Medical Procedures: 0

Bad Boston Accents: 3 (Kit’s, the cop who shows up, Frances Conroy’s)

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: FX]


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