Dearest Andy Richter,
It pleases me beyond words to hear that you shall be returning to the world of television as the side kick to a certain Mr. Conan O’Brien on his new show Conan. We rejoice at this news as the comedic brilliance of your pairing with Mr. O’Brien is one for the history books. No other late night show can boast of such a pairing. It is only rivaled perhaps by your and Conan’s protégé, Jimmy Fallon, and his band The Roots, but even that does not come close. For they are a band, and whilst they make beloved harmonies, melodies, and the dopest beats, and they do not bring the sense of humor that your renowned mind bequeaths us each and every night.
It is good that you shall have this platform to deliver your sharp wit and acidic tongue freely and without constraint. The world of television has been mightily unfair to such a warrior as yourself. Your sole adventurers were gravely underrated, and Andy Richter Controls The Universe was perhaps too funny for its own good. Fear not good sir, the world was simply not ready for your own brilliance.
And, oh be still my heart, for the jokes have already begun! You yourself are quoted as saying you are excited to start working on the show “however, I am mostly looking forward to getting out of the house again.” Oh be numb my splitting sides! The laughter has already commenced! Even the orange haired one himself, Mr. O’Brien, gets in on the laughs when he said “This decision was made without my authority. I will get to the bottom of this.” Do you hear the laughter of the children? For they rejoice at the comedy being brought forth once again. Why in two quotes, you masters of humor have already produced more laughs than your replacement has in three months, the vilest Mr. Leno!
It is good to have you back, sir. We look forward to your work.
More official words from Conan! This time with video: