‘Big Brother’ Recap: A Snooze Down Memory Lane

ALTLast night we saw one houseguest get evicted for violence, multiple houseguests get in fights with each other, a funeral, a date, a woman who can’t cry, and several stunning evictions. Sounds like the most exciting night of Big Brother yet, right? Wrong! It was the worst — it was the damn clip show.

You know what I’m talking about: It was the annual episode in which the producers make the houseguests sit around and talk about the highlights of the season so they can air some dusty old footage and take us through the summer with a good dose of instant nostalgia. There are a bunch of problems with this. First, we’ve seen this all before. No one is flicking on the second to last episode of Big Brother and thinking, “Wow, I really want to know what is going on with this and wish someone would walk me through the events of this summer.” No, that never happens. So, for all of us committed viewers, it’s boring. And the commercials advertise never-before-seen footage to entice us. What did we get? We saw Britney beat up a teddy bear, Britney give Shanielle a hilarious counseling session, and, well, that’s about it. Of course, there might have been more but football cut into the broadcast again and my DVR didn’t tape the show on after it, so I missed the last 10 minutes. (Based on the promos during the show, the three remaining houseguests had to hang onto vines while they were dropped into water and then flung against a wall. Sounds like a classic final BB challenge, and one that Ian, thankfully, should win.)

The other problem with this show is that it all seems so canned. People often accuse the producers of BB of manipulating the game and, duh, of course they do. But there is something about this episode in particular that is so fake, like the houseguests, for once, aren’t having a discussion in their own voices, like someone schooled them on the talking points. Then they seem like the cast of Punky Brewster walking us all through a preview of what Saturday Morning cartoons the network has lined up for us this season. Remember those? Those were awesome. This is not.

Can’t we just do away with the clip so for good? All sorts of shows try to pull this stunt every season (Survivor, America’s Next Top Model, The Real Housewives of Hoboken’s Pre-Reunion Special) and I think it’s kind of insulting. It’s a cheap and easy way for networks to fill up an hour of TV and rope in the suckers who just want to relive a good fight and are too lazy to search for it on YouTube like the rest of us. And BB tapes every houseguest every moment of every day. Didn’t they have something new and original to unearth? Or what about a behind-the-scenes special (like they do with Deadliest Catch) so we can see how they put up the games in the courtyard, how they actually make the slop, and just who has to go in and pick up Willie’s dirty drawers when he gets booted for headbutting a southern-fried simpleton. Come on, Big Brother, we know you’re better than this.

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: CBS]


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