S1E1: “Once upon a time, there were three young women who got into very big trouble. They each made mistakes, but I gave them a second chance, and now they work for me. My name is Charlie.”
As a matter of fact, let’s have Charlie — off screen, as always — introduce his three Angels, as he did on tonight’s series (reboot) premiere: Abbie is a “Park Avenue princess-turned-thief”; Gloria is a “marine decorated for valor, court marshaled for a deadly instinct”; and Kate is a “dedicated police detective-turned-dirty cop.”
One thing that, for anyone who’s witnessed the publicity campaign for Charlie’s Angels, appears odd from the get-go is that Minka Kelly is noticeably absent from the aforementioned Angel introduction at the top of the show, with Nadine Velasquez playing Gloria.
All is cleared up shortly thereafter, however, when (SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO DVR’ED THE EPISODE AND IS INEXPLICABLY READING THIS RECAP FIRST!) Gloria is killed by a car bomb, leaving a gaping hole in the Angels’ army of three.
Enter Kelly, whose Eve is spotted nearby on the surveillance footage of Gloria’s car-bomb attack. Turns out, she and Gloria go waaaay back, but Kate and Abbie don’t know that. In fact, they think she might’ve been the actual perp — that is, until they take matters into their own hands, track down Eve and learn that they have an enemy in common: Nestor Rodrigo, an evil sadist who’s not only involved in child trafficking but is also the chief suspect in the death of their mutual “sister” — and who Gloria was tracking prior to her apparent death at his hands.
The rest of the episode follows their effort to get their man, requiring them to pose as food servers at Rodrigo’s ridiculous house party, which, predictably, turns into mayhem after Eve is captured — and after the two Angels also capture one of Rodrigo’s cohorts, meaning each side has incentive to let the other side’s ally live … for trading purposes.
Ultimately, the trio reunites and overtakes Rodrigo without killing him, just as they’d hoped to do, because, after all, they’re “angels of justice, not angels of vengeance.” For her role in helping to bring Rodrigo to justice, Eve is offered a position as an Angel, by Charlie himself, and it’s too good to pass up. Obviously!
BEST ANGEL MOMENTS
Eve: Chained to the ceiling and getting tasered and beaten by Rodrigo, she wraps her legs (with help from a nearby diversion) around the neck of the man just ordered to kill her, and spins around 360 degrees, pulling off the ol’ neck-breaker.
Kate: Posing as a room-service attendant, she kicks the door down, uses it and the token steroid brute underneath it as a stepping stone, and overtakes the hotel room to find a trafficking victim.
Abby: En route to poisoning Nadia with a doctored hors d’oeuvre, she gets stopped by airhead-y acquaintances from a previous life who derail her mission, so she gladly hands them the tainted food, providing maybe the only funny moment of the show.