Update: The Hollywood Reporter is now saying that Charlie Sheen will sue the CBS show for breach of contract because there is “no basis” for his termination. Right. We’re all buying that. You’ve been stirring the pot of ammunition to get you fired for a week now. That’s why Charlie was so happy about his firing. He’s hoping to rake in the cash.
Earlier: Bad news for the small faction of Two and a Half Men fans who were holding out hoping that Charlie Sheen somehow becomes a balanced human again and so he can return to CBS begging on his hands and knees to play out a PG version of his own insane, sordid lifestyle in which I’m fairly certain bowling shirts are not the norm. The dream is over. Charlie Sheen is officially no longer a member of the show’s cast. This comes after he told 20/20 he hoped they could reach a resolution and bring the show back on the air. Well, if you didn’t believe him then, you certainly won’t believe him now.
This is the statement he released upon receiving the news about his lack of a legitimate job: “This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
Well, what can we take away from all this? How about the invention of a crass, insulting version of whathisname? That’s really all I’ve got.