Conan and his writers with their ruined cars were counting on us to vote in his poll to decide who the first guests on his show would be, but it looks like that was just another ploy to get Tom from Myspace’s hopes up unnecessarily high because his first guests have been announced, and none of them were listed on the poll. Monday’s show will kick off with Seth Rogen and musical guest Jack White. Tuesday’s show will have Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock and Soundgarden. Wednesday’s show will have Jon Hamm and Charlyne Yi with a performance by Fistful of Mercy, and Thursday’s show will have Michael Cera and Julie Bowen and comedian Jon Dore.
Nice lineup. But more importantly, does this remind anyone else of Space Jam? Obviously Michael Jordan was was the one who saved the Looney Toons from an eternity at Moron Mountain by helping them win a basketball game. But if Michael Jordan had needed their assistance in whatever, Bugs Bunny and Co. would have returned to show their appreciation by helping him however they could. And this is just like that! Conan is Michael Jordan, and after years of helping Rogen and Hamm and the like promote their projects and ensure they are received successfully, they’re all coming back to make sure the baseball community gives him a chance! Wait, no. They’re all coming back to make sure we give Conan another chance! But it’s really not us they have to worry about — it’s Jay Leno, who has never seen nor heard of Space Jam, which makes him angry he’s on the outs of this analogy and already calf-deep in planning a way to turn TBS into another car doesn’t drive.