‘Dancing with the Stars’ Recap: Week 6 Performances

S11:W6 This week on Dancing with the Stars, the theme was Rock N’ Roll. Each couple performed two dances: one of the regular ones that are always the same, like the tango and the paso doble, and a second one, which was either the jive, swing, or the “lindy hop” (which was the dance that was performed in ANTZ, where all the ants are socializing together and drinking out of the anuses of even tinier bugs). Let’s start out with the first round of regular dances, WHICH SOMEHOW, BRISTOL PALIN SUCCEEDED AT.

Bristol and her partner Mark Ballas dressed up as marching band rejects and danced a tango, that for some reason had an air guitar solo in it. Oh, right. Rock week. But, considering that last week she danced in a gorilla suit and completely forgot her steps, it seems she’s always throwing things into her routine to make up for how she isn’t Jennifer Grey. The judges were shocked with Bristol’s progress, and the feathers she wore in her hair went home and talked a big game to their friends. Bristol and Mark got 23 points, which is the highest score they’ve ever gotten, and our Chinese food cooled down about 10 degrees because we were all busy all thinking what it would be like if she won this competition.

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke also danced the tango. He spent this week working on becoming sexier and analyzing every single one of his steps, which proves the theory that basketball players aren’t good in bed because they’ve never had to be. Which also means they never had to be ready to employ the tango, either. The judges gave them 24 points.