Diane Keaton Likes Tantric Sex, Punching Robert DeNiro, Iced Red Wine

Credit: The Ellen Show

Let’s get this straight: Diane Keaton is a flawless queen. She is a Woody Allen muse, Oscar winner, style icon, Architectual Digest centerfold, a founding Head Queen Goddess Boss Lady, and a giver of none of the f**ks (a fabulous by product of doin’ you, y’all). And nowhere was this more evident than in her delightfully drunken interview on Ellen Degeneres‘ talk show this week.

Keaton ostensibly visited The Ellen Show to promote her new film, The Big Wedding, but felt a wee bit parched so she brought her ice-laden red wine out to play. Oh, and play it did: the actress discussed tantric sex, punching Robert DeNiro, and even her own desire to get hitched. Keaton, because she’s too much woman for mere mortal men, has never been married. She reminded us exactly why there’s booze at weddings to begin with: dealing with family is just easier that way. Diane, girl, let’s do happy hour.

Basically, Diane Keaton is perfect and if I don’t grow up to be her, my life will have all been for naught. Check out her appearance in the clip below.

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Staff Writer Alicia Lutes is a corgi enthusiast from Connecticut living in Los Angeles. She loves Tina Fey, television, ugly things and really money cheese plates. Growing up, her grandfather frequently said, "you’re so god-damned good with words! You should do something with words with your life!" so she made it her quest to plaster her wordy witticisms across the Internet. She looks forward to retiring at the age of 80 and opening a fromagerie with a small army of wrinkly-faced and stumpy-legged dogs.