Ah, the good ol’ days when our nightly viewings of Boy Meets World and Salute Your Shorts were interrupted by the most unhealthy of sugary snacks. Gushers! Butterfingers! Dunkaroos! You name it, we saw advertisements for it. Of course, this led to emergency trips to the grocery during which you would pull off an Oscar-worthy performance that would make Meryl Streep look like a theater dropout in order to convince your parents just how desperately you need these high-calorie purchases.
It was a beautiful relationship, but one that was not destined to last forever. Now junk food companies will have to find some other way to reach the childhood masses because, according to the New York Times, Disney is planning to ban junk food ads from its child-focused TV networks, radio stations, and web sites, as a way to help fight childhood obesity. From now on, all food commercials must comply with strict nutritional standards. The new rules also apply to Saturday morning cartoons shown on ABC stations, which are also owned by the conglomerate. This ban could be the death of the classic junk food commercial we’ve come to know and love.
And while this precaution is well-intended, those of us who came of age in the ’90s can’t help but mourn the loss of the awesome junk food commercials we grew up with. So as a way to honor the ghosts of junk food’s past, we’re counting down some of our favorite childhood ads. This list proves to be a real treat.
They may have made your tongue all sorts of crazy colors, but boy did they taste delicious.
More frosting with my cookie? Don’t mind if I do!
Next: Nobody better lay a finger on my… Butterfingers
This commercial made kids love Butterfingers just about as much as Homer loves donuts… and Duff.
This must be what the Silver Surfer used to drink.
Pizza Head Show
It’s not exactly appetizing, but you have to admire the vocal theatrics — from a kid’s perspective, of course.
Keebler Elves Cookies
Remember when the Keebler elves needed your help to fix fudge mountain? I never wanted to win something so bad in my life.
Nothing sounds sweeter than M&M Boot Camp. Also, I may or may not know all the words to that march song.
Next: Feed The Rush.Surge
I present to you every parent’s worst nightmare:
The commercial may have been fun to watch, but actually eating those Lunchables pizzas was anything but. Can you say soggy crackers with tomato paste?
Anything involving Aretha Franklin’s voice is highly refreshing.
These are insanely delicious. Just remember kids: Real money will not taste like this. Trust me.
Just think of these as the liquid version of Skittles. Taste the high fructose rainbow.