‘Eastbound And Down’ Recap

Eastbound and DownIf I could, I would only speak in Kenny Power-isms. There is no situation, no possible conversation imaginable, where something Kenny Powers has said would not be appropriate.

“Welcome to Wachovia today, sir. Can I interest you in a low-interest home loan?”

“Fuck your donkey, bitch.”

See? Eastbound and Down is immediately more quotable than practically everything in the English language, and yes, I do include Shakespeare in that.

The first season of Eastbound and Down is a national treasure. Danny McBride broke out as the washed up former major league pitcher Kenny Powers. Treated more like a feature film broken into six parts, the second season can be seen as a sequel rather than the same schtick all over again.

At the end of last season, Kenny Powers was at his lowest (which is saying something) and leaving the most basic comforts he had accrued behind. Gone are the jet skis, the mullets, and the bare modicum of fame. Left behind are the gorgeous ta-tas of April, the awkward boners of Principal Cutler, and the pure devotion of Stevie. What has he found in Mexico instead?

New sidekicks. Deep Roy as Aaron, the foul mouthed short guy who was also the oompa-loompas in Tim Burton’s Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

New team. While reluctant at first to return to baseball, Kenny Powers can’t resist the lure of the pitch and decides to grace a struggling team with his presence. Of course, he isn’t just doing it for them. The people needed to see him as “the Christ figure” he is. His words, not mine.

New love interest. Our first introduction to Ana de la Reguera’s character is a slow, lingering shot of her butt. Needless to say, it was one of the greatest character introductions in the history of television. The first season was devoted to Katy Mixon’s breasts and it appears this season focuses on the great behind. I honestly can’t say which I look forward to more.

Anyway, what happens? Our first reintroduction with Kenny Powers (and yes, he shall always be referred to as Kenny Powers in the full) in Mexico has him with the one thing he will carry with him no matter what country he is in: his prized cock. Forgive me, I couldn’t help it. Kenny Powers has become quite the cock-fighting big shot, easily assimilating to the local culture faster than it took to braid his cornrows. It seems Kenny Powers has found a lot more in common with the Mexican locals then he would have thought. Maybe he truly meant it when he said “I transcend race, hombre.”

He is also working on a self-help book to help those cope with depression. Specifically those who he left behind, though as we see in a flashback are doing pretty well (Stevie, it should be noted, is slated to come find Kenny Powers in Mexico). The family downstairs drives him insane but by the end of the episode, he joins them for a home cooked meal. A self-proclaimed loner, Kenny Powers does seem to need the comforts of family which is probably a theme we are likely to see throughout the season.

His two cock-fighting cohorts, Aaron and a non-English speaking giant (hilariously nicknamed “Mice and Men”), join him at the bar and baseball game to cause trouble. The manager of the baseball team has noticed the fabled pitcher in the stands and by the end of the episode had convinced him to join the team. Kenny Powers was reluctant to return to baseball at first, but how could he say no to the thing he was born to do? Well, he was born to play baseball and sleep with all the beautiful women in the world, but he had already done the latter.

Yes, Kenny Powers had no trouble at all finding another leading lady. The previously mentioned well-endowed de la Reguera was a one night stand because Kenny Powers is in an emotional vortex right now and he can’t really take on anything more serious at the moment because he doesn’t want her to get hurt but if she wanted to you know, see him again, he wouldn’t mind that because Kenny Powers is a man like that.

So Kenny Powers is back. He’s a broken, broken man, but if anyone can revel in the bottom of the pit of despair, it’s Kenny Fucking Powers. The first season is a treasure trove for the English language. It’s looking like the second season will be too, but it’s going bi-lingual on our asses.