‘Entourage’ Recap: Motherf.

S8E5: For a show that only has four episodes left, Entourage sure isn’t pulling out the big guns. Sure, we’ve got a few drama-filled issues hanging in the air, but nothing feels that severe. Everything either has an obvious solution or a pleasing enough alternative — or in the case of E’s woes, it’s the same old trouble we’ve been dealing with since Season One. With only three episodes left after last night’s, I can’t help but wonder how the boys are going to wow us or if they’re just going to slink off into the Hollywood sunset, pulling the same antics they always have. 

“I’m sure the world is dying to know what Vincent Chase thinks of the nuclear arms race.” -Sophie

This week, we find Vince angling for an article and potentially cover of Vanity Fair when he scores an interview with one of their star reporters, Sophie (Alice Eve). He screws up the opportunity by spending the entire time hitting on her. Being a serious journalist, she cuts the interview short, essentially ruining his chances at any coverage in the classy magazine. Vince blows off Shauna and says he’ll fix this himself, convinces Sophie to come to his hotel to conduct a replacement interview. She does and he recites some poorly rehearsed garbage about how his mother taught him to respect women. We know this is garbage because as soon as the interview is over, he asks her out again. She turns him down. Smart girl.

Johnny’s got plenty of drama over as Johnny’s Bananas. The replacement for Andrew Dice Clay is terrible and he’s criticizing Drama, so Drama puts together a deal so that Dice can come back and take part of Drama’s salary. Dice says no, even though he needs to pay for his kid’s Princeton tuition, because he wants the money to come from the network and not from his friend. Drama marches into the producer’s office and finds out that the network doesn’t want it to be a buddy show; they want to focus on Drama only. He takes this pull and uses it to say he’ll walk if they don’t bring Dice back. This is not going to end well.

“18 year-olds don’t go to Disneyland unless they’re stoned.” -Ari’s bratty daughter

E is making stupid decisions again. Sloane’s ex step mom, Belinda, is seeking his managerial services. Despite warnings from everyone that this is a bad idea, E takes the meeting, takes her on as a client, gets drunk with her, proceeds to talk about how he’s not over Sloane and of course, sleeps with her. Right after their dirty deed, they lie in bed together and Sloane calls E right on time to ask about an email Belinda sent Sloane’s father claiming she would sleep with E to get back at him. E lies and says it was just a meeting about heing her manager and that it’s none of her business because they’re not together — the second part of which is pretty true. It still doesn’t change the fact that he’s completely screwed. I will say this at least sort of a new twist in the E/Sloane saga; he’s slept with other people before, but never any semblance of a parental figure. 

Finally, Ari’s having a rough time. His wife brings his kids to the office so he can take them to Disneyland, except a last-minute deal for a Taylor Lautner script comes up at the last second and it brings Dana Gordon into Ari’s office. While I’m sure the Lautner deal itself was alluring, the notion of seeing Dana keeps him in the office while he makes his assistant entertain his kids. Dana can’t handle being in the same space as Ari, who’s constantly pestering her while she tries to read the script, so she storms out, says she’ll buy it and that their relationship is screwing with their professional lives. That night, Mrs. Ari says she’s filing for divorce and Ari gets wasted at his new bachelor pad, calls Dana a million times and she surprisingly calls back. She offers to come over and says that while this is hard, she’s lonely and she likes the idea of them together and they’ll try it one day at a time. That lucky bastard. Somehow, I don’t hate this storyline and while Ari deserves all the ire he gets from his soon-to-be ex wife, I’ve grown tired of her harping and I think it would actually be good for him to end up with someone who understands how much his business is a part of his life. Dana could actually be good for Ari — if he doesn’t screw it up.

Essentially, at this turning point in the season, we’ll go one of two ways. Things may spin out of control and they’ll attempt to sew it all up in one last episode, or it will continue the way it is now: spinning mildly within a controllable zone wherein solutions are conceivable and the end result will be something picturesque and buoyant. Which, let’s face it, is the Entourage we all know and love.