American Horror Story has been teasing us with the theme of its sixth season for what feels like forever. Ryan Murphy, who you just know is a maniacal human being based on the kind of crazy things he comes up with for AHS, has found a new way to torture his show’s fan base even worse than having to watch that crazy creature with a drill-bit for genitalia in the first few episodes of Hotel.
FX has been releasing little teasers for American Horror Story all month long leading up to the release on September 14th. Like you’d expect from one of network TV’s most highly revered horror shows (and one of network TV’s only horror shows, if we’re being honest), the teasers are bone-chilling. They feature an array of characters, from old Hollywood actors and alien-like entities to stitched-up medical patients and a woman who has a rather intimate relationship with a spider. It’s all really hard to put together a distinct theme, and that’s because Ryan Murphy is almost more deranged than the characters he creates. He’s been playing with our emotions and releasing fake teasers mixed in with the real one this entire time.
FX CEO John Jandgraf explained, “There are many more trailers than you’ve actually seen for hypothetical seasons of American Horror Story — different genres, different places. One of them is accurate. The others are all misdirects.”
We can’t knock Murphy too hard because every teaser is exactly what we love about AHS, but not being able to nail down a distinct theme this close to the release is killing us. Like we’ve speculated in the past, the true teaser is probably the one that links up with older seasons. Recently, Murphy admitted in an interview that this season — and seasons seven and eight — will connect more and more with the past.
“You’ll see it [link up in] this season, and then you’ll really see it after this season. We lay a lot of pipe, and you’ll see it explode in seasons seven and eight,” he admitted to The Hollywood Reporter. Murphy plans to continue the show for seasons to come, hoping the series could be like a new Twilight Zone. Until then, we’re still wracking our brains trying to figure out which teasers are real.
American Horror Story has released 19 teasers so far. We’ve put them in relative order of their release below (which is kind of hard because some debuted on Snapchat, some debuted on YouTube, and so on, but we tried our best!). Which one do you think is the real teaser?
1. Lullaby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM8Yy2EWDZY
2. What’s Cooking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyNgrZEfnoo
3. Sunset Stroll
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPU_tiTh4Zg
4. Milli Crossing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW_PNsCrh2g
5. Post Op
6. Descent
7. The Mist
8. Hang Tight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLpk1yXP4vA
9. The Shadow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O_6AWhezvU
10. Wind Chimes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no2MoJhwHJ4
11. Camp Site
12. Blind Date
13. The Harvest
14. Anthology
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRko_9X0PT0
15. The Visitors
16. Bite Sized
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x68TJuHDPFQ
17. Self Presevation
18. Blink
19. Unnamed Teaser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvKhNYDGdjI