Well, it is with a slightly heavy heart that I report Florence Henderson was voted off Dancing with the Stars last night. Not only has an “older” person still never won the disco ball trophy, but there’s one less person around to prevent Bristol Palin from walking away with it one day, hidden in the crotch of her monkey suit.
Of her departure, Florence said, “I have been in TV for over 50 years, and I have to say in all honesty that this is one of the best-produced shows I’ve ever been on. I’ve loved the show since it began. I think it’s just a tremendous show. I hope I’ve inspired people to get up off their behind and move and dance and live and enjoy life.” Yes, yes, Carol Brady’s still bringin’ the heat. Here is the sweet dance she performed last night that we rejected as a people.
But how can it be one of the greatest shows around if Bristol Palin wasn’t even in the bottom two? She got the lowest score of everyone on Monday (an 18), which should have put them up for elimination along with Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer (whose disco got them 20 points), but the way the show works is viewer votes are combined with the judges’ scores, so Florence and Rick Fox were the true bottom two because they received the least of our attention. But good god, we rewarded the girl who convinced us we couldn’t be Patch Adams again for Halloween! Oh, I see why we kept her.