On Tuesday, the Disney Channel released the opening theme song and accompanying video for its upcoming Boy Meets World spin-off series Girl Meets World. At the behest of her editor, Hollywood.com writer Julia Emmanuele watched the video one hundred times in a row, recording her thoughts after each viewing. Experience the phenomenon below.
Viewing # 1:
This sounds nothing like the old Boy Meets World theme songs did. I wish it sounded more like that.
Viewing # 2:
It’s definitely very “Disney Channel,” with the pop song and the CGI graphics. I’ll give them that.
Viewing # 3:
Is… is that a ukulele? Is there a ukulele in this?
Viewing # 4:
There’s a lot of weird arm-dancing in this.
Viewing # 5:
That’s the cleanest subway station I have ever seen. There’s no way that’s really New York.
Viewing # 6:
They actually carried over the whole paper airplane thing from the original credits. That’s a nice touch.
Viewing # 7:
Rowan Blanchard looks nothing like Danielle Fishel and Ben Savage, but she does strangely look a lot like Sabrina Carpenter.
Viewing # 8:
Who dresses these children? These are the weirdest outfit combinations I’ve ever seen. I mean, a red plaid skirt over yellow leggings?
Viewing # 9:
This boy looks way too old to be the main character’s love interest.
Viewing # 10:
Topanga had better hair than this dude. If you’re gonna be the Topanga of this show, you’re gonna need to step up your hair game.
Viewing # 11:
See, look at Topanga’s old hair. Way better.
Viewing # 12:
Remember when Topanga was a weird hippie with a sister named Nebula? Good times.
Viewing # 13:
This younger brother seems very melodramatic. That’ll get old quick.
Viewing # 14:
Is she pouring paint on her own head?
Viewing # 15:
You know, the more I listen to this song, the more I like it. It’s pretty catchy.
Viewing # 16:
There are a lot of weird parallel shots between Riley/New Shawn and Cory and Topanga.
Viewing # 17:
The love interest’s face looks like it’s been airbrushed. It has a weird, glowing quality to it like someone put an Instagram filter over his title card.
Viewing # 18:
This theme song sounds like a Kidz Bop cover of The Lumineers.
Viewing # 19:
I feel like it’s only a matter of time before Disney Channel capitalizes on the whole “folk-revival” bandwagon and we get a bunch of tween Mumford and Sons groups. This will be the first single.
Viewing # 20:
The little brother reminds me of Lindsay, but the first version. The one who went into her room and never came back down. [Editor’s note: She means Morgan, but you can’t really fault her for mixing up names at this point.]
Viewing # 21:
I will never get this song out of my head. I will die with this song still stuck in my head.
Viewing # 22:
The only time Ben and Rowan look alike is when she’s in the blue dress in his classroom. She still looks nothing like Danielle.
Viewing # 23:
Rowan does a lot of that hand-to-head swooning movement. I hope that’s not like a thing her character does.
Viewing # 24:
There are a lot of strange facial expressions in this.
Viewing # 25:
I feel like I’m going to end up downloading the full version of this song. I will tell nobody.
Viewing # 26:
Is the guy just wearing a cardigan without a shirt underneath? Who does that? Riley, you can do better.
Viewing # 27:
Who let a horse in the school? Even when it got ridiculous, Boy Meets World still kept the animals outside. [Editor’s note: Actually, in Season 3, Episode 6 of Boy Meets World, Shawn brought his pet pig Little Cory to John Adams High School.]
Viewing # 28:
Never mind, Riley’s wearing suspenders and shorts. She and Cardigan deserve each other.
Viewing # 29:
Danielle Fishel looks the same as she did when the show went off the air. She’s gorgeous.
Viewing # 30:
I like her oddly delayed reaction when Riley’s screaming. Quality acting.
Viewing # 31:
Is the younger brother putting on a play in the living room? With professional lighting? What the hell?
Viewing # 32:
Every time Ben savage pops through that door, all I hear is him screaming “Topanga!”
Viewing # 33:
I’m starting to hit a turning point with this song.
Viewing # 34:
That weird chanting bit at the end is starting to grate on me.
Viewing # 35:
Does she have Britney inflections now? Have I just not noticed them until now?
Viewing # 36:
Everything’s starting to look a little bit stupider now.
Viewing # 37:
Why does New Shawn have a top hat? Original Shawn would never.
Viewing # 38:
I miss Shawn. This show needs Shawn.
Viewing # 39:
New Shawn is getting awfully close to Cardigan at the end of this. That’s not going to end well.
Viewing # 40:
The little brother already annoys me. Although, everything’s starting to annoy me at this point.
Viewing # 41:
I appreciate them keeping the globe and paper plane motif, but the crappy CGI Chrysler building takes a lot away from the aesthetic.
Viewing # 42:
They put like, no effort into CGI Times Square.
Viewing # 43:
You know what? I take back what I said about this song. This song is terrible.
Viewing # 44:
Not a single person on this show is a decent dancer.
Viewing # 45:
I like the weird computer theme song better than this. [Editor’s note: She’s referring to the theme song from the first season of Boy Meets World.]
Viewing # 46:
The younger brother has an absurd number of layers on. Who dresses these children? [Editor’s note: You said that already.]
Viewing # 47:
Has Cory always been this much of an idiot? Or are they dumbing him down for this show?
Viewing # 48:
This song makes me want to punch something.
Viewing # 49:
Did they just re-use the set from iCarly for this? Because I’m pretty sure those are the same apartment doors.
Viewing # 50:
Why do these two only have their faces covered in paint? Did they just stick their faces in the paint? Is everyone an idiot?
Viewing # 51:
I feel like the Britney inflections are becoming more and more pronounced. Who says “cray-zay?”
Viewing # 52:
This whole title sequence is really stupid.
Viewing # 53:
Those stupid bunny slippers are stupid.
Viewing # 54:
Cory’s weird hand moments at the dinner table are stupid.
Viewing # 55:
The fact that Cory has a Bob Dylan lyric written on his blackboard is stupid. Cory never would have listened to Dylan.
Viewing # 56:
Topanga’s old ‘90s choker is stupid.
Viewing # 57:
The little brother putting his face in his breakfast is stupid. You’re gonna make a mess, little brother, and then someone’s gonna have to clean up after you. Just be courteous and put your eha don’t he table. [Editor’s note: Um… what?]
Viewing # 58:
Why are you putting your head in the bowl in the first place? You’re like 9. How stressful could your life possibly be?
Viewing # 59:
I feel like Riley and New Shawn at the end, when they’re on the conveyor belt.
Viewing # 60:
Are we supposed to believe their hair just naturally ended up like that? That hair is painstakingly styled.
Viewing # 61:
I no longer remember a time in my life before I heard this song.
Viewing # 62:
I no longer remember other songs.
Viewing # 63:
That weird dance Danielle Fishel does is amking me irrationally angry.
Viewing # 64:
This is making me hate the city of New York as a whole.
Viewing # 65:
Why does Cardigan have so many sweaters and coats? How cold is it in that school?
Viewing # 66:
You know, you wouldn’t need a sweater if you actually wore a shirt under your cardigan like a normal person.
Viewing # 67:
This is making me hate everyone involved in it.
Viewing # 68:
This is making me retroactively hate Boy Meets World.
Viewing # 69:
None of those fake New York landmarks are anywhere near each other in real life. Who researched this?
Viewing # 70:
You know, I’m starting to understand why the little brother is faceplanting into his bowl.
Viewing # 71:
I like how they tried to wedge a globe into every scene set at school. It’s an apporiate homage to the original.
Viewing # 72:
Either that or the production designer got paid by the globe.
Viewing # 73:
Feeney never had this many globes. Cory, what would Feeny do?
Viewing # 74:
I miss Mr. Feeny.
Viewing # 75:
I miss Eric.
Viewing # 76:
I miss everyone but Cory and Topanga. They’re the reason I have to keep watching this. They’re dead to me now.
Viewing # 77:
The lyrics to this song are dumb. I mean, “Stuck by lightning/my heart’s beating like a drum?” Come on.
Viewing # 78:
I feel like being struck by lightning would result in your heart stopping, not beating faster.
Viewing # 79:
Although, in retrospect, they’re probably better than “Wandering down this road that we call life/wondering what we’re doing.”
Viewing # 80:
Actually, you know what? I think I’m starting to come around to this song again.
Viewing # 81:
Why is New Shawn playing softball in a subway station? Why did it take me this long to notice?
Viewing # 82:
Why are they just crouching in the hallway? You’re in a school, there are chairs everywhere. Go find one.
Viewing # 83:
Do you think New Shawn’s sparkly jacket comes in adult sizes?
Viewing # 84:
I feel like the whole Cory/Riley hand-on-chin bit is supposed to be endearing, but it’s just coming off as trite.
Viewing # 85:
Is Cardigan just blatantly using his cell phone in class? Why is nobody yelling at him for that?
Viewing # 86:
I’m not even processing the words to this song anymore. It might as well be an instrumental.
Viewing # 87:
I feel like this theme needs more buckets of water being dumped on people’s heads. I volunteer.
Viewing # 88:
The little brother’s dramatic performance just reminds me of Eric’s weird one-man show. I miss Eric.
Viewing # 89:
The guitar at the beginning of this song is so over-processed, it barely even resembles a guitar anymore.
Viewing # 90:
I’m pretty sure I barely resemble a person anymore. I’m a shell of a person.
Viewing # 91:
I regret ever being excited about Girl Meets World in the first place.
Viewing # 92:
That being said, I’m probably going to watch every episode. Cory’s dorkiness is winning me over again.
Viewing # 93:
Or I have some sort of TV-related Stockholm Syndrome. I can’t tell anymore.
Viewing # 94:
Riley has a huge bedroom for an apartment in New York.
Viewing # 95:
Topanga’s ‘90s revival bangs look like someone dropped an animal on her head. I don’t remember her actual ‘90s bangs being that bad.
Viewing # 96:
They didn’t even try to make those trees in “Central Park” look real.
Viewing # 97:
Oh, thank god, I’m almost done.
Viewing # 98:
If I ever hear the phrase “Take on the world” again, I might lose my mind.
Viewing # 99:
I do enjoy how, in the end, every Disney Channel title card looks exactly the same.
Viewing # 100:
It’s not that bad, in the end. I might be on board with it. I’m gonna skip the titles whenever I watch it, though. I’m never listening to them ever again.
Girl Meets World is available on the WATCH Disney Channel streaming service starting tomorrow, and will premiere on actual televisions on June 27 at 9:45 PM, which is insane.