‘Glee’ Recap: Silly Love Songs

S2E12: After the sub-par Super Bowl episode, I was dreading last night’s Glee. I was convinced that the show had lost its touch, and that from here on out it was a downward spiral towards more monstrous episodes. Luckily, my pessimism ended there because Glee was back to its old self. Perhaps it’s just the fact that it aired in such close proximity to the episode I so dearly want to forget, but this Valentine’s Day love fest was actually totally enjoyable, hilarious, heartwarming, and fun – and Sue Sylvester was actually nowhere to be found. On that note: I love Jane Lynch, but I’m glad they’re realizing that like cookies, she’s a “sometimes” treat and not just a nonstop train of insults and insanity.

As much as I loved this episode, it sure was a lot to keep up with. It’s Valentine’s Day, so naturally, the gleeks are getting all hot and bothered over each other; and for some of them, things get really, really, REALLY complicated. So pay attention, if you can.

“I have one word for you this week…(draws a heart around ‘Love’)” –Schue

“Is it Love? I’m totally gonna graduate now!” -Brittany

As the umbrella for this complicated teen love fest, Mr. Schue keeps it simple: this week’s theme is favorite love songs. Whew. Now we can stop worrying about everyone’s “assignments” because we can guarantee the songs will actually pertain to the romantic plots. It also took Schue almost entirely out of the equation, and let’s be honest, the man has been way to central to the drama for a show that’s supposed to be about his students. We needed a Schue break, so thanks, Glee.

Before we get into all the drama, let’s make a stop in normalville (well, “normal” by high school standards). Artie and Mike are all a flutter about their perfect girlfriends, and have completely forgotten their former rivalry, pairing Artie’s singing ability with Mike’s dancing chops for a performance of “PYT.” It wasn’t the best performance of the night, but there wasn’t a bad one, so that should be some consolation.

Along the same lines, Tina is “so in love” with Mike that she sings “My Funny Valentine” to her beau, only to break down crying mid-song like the talented Broadway-style actress she is. It was a brief moment, but the girl sure knows how to break it down and Schue’s face was CLASSIC.

“I’ve cheated twice in my life. The first time I got pregnant and the second time I got mono.” –Quinn

That kiss from Sunday night’s episode is wrecking all kinds of havoc on Quinn’s romantic life. Finn is convinced that he just needs to get her to kiss him once more and she’ll be done with Sam. So naturally, he uses his new popularity to run a kissing booth to raise money for glee club and ensure that Quinn will have to kiss him. She refuses, but after Sam points out how weird it is that she won’t, she plants a wet one on Finn right in front of Sam and guess what? There are fireworks. Not literal fireworks, but visions of them on Finn’s part. Well crap.

Of course, they start hooking up behind Sam’s back and because Finn is a horny teenager, Quinn’s speech about how he’s participating in something that made him break up with her last year and Rachel this year is shot down. Boom: cheaters. This was all kinds of gross. Finn’s self-serving kissing booth was completely out of character as is this whole cheating thing, but he is in high school and it’s not unbelievable that his morals could waver so easily.

“I’m going to walk up to that kissing booth tomorrow with a 100 dollar bill and he’s not going to be able to make change and then he’s going to be forced to kiss me 100 times and when his lips touch mine I’m telling you he’s gonna feel it…” -Rachel

This is all complicated further by the fact that Rachel is still crazy, yeah I mean CRAZY, about Finn and she’s determined to win him back. She does go to the kissing booth, with a single dollar though – thank God. When Finn only gives her a peck on the cheek, she explodes prompting him to give her a belated Christmas present that he just happens to have with him: a gold star necklace. (They’re kind of her thing.) He says something sweet about her needing to shine and him believing in her before moving on to make out with Quinn. When he and Quinn decide to stop cheating because she has feelings for Sam and Finn still has feelings for Rachel, Rachel comes to his side to nurse him back to health. After pouring her heart out about “a girl like her” being chosen over Quinn, Finn is honest about how he feels about Quinn but stutters when it comes to the Rachel issue. Rachel’s pride overcomes the situation and she leaves, saying his makeout fireworks inspired her love song (to herself) “Firework.” As cheesy as the reason was, the performance was spot on, even if she did go through the halls with a spotlight on her like it was music video.

“I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think they suck.” –Santana

Finally, all her rude comments have caught up with her. Santana becomes the black sheep when the whole club dishes her own comments right back in her face. Puck tells her they’re not a couple, even after she buys herself jewelry for him to reimburse her for and gets in a brawl with his new lady love. Enraged, she figures out that Quinn and Finn are cheating and she takes her revenge. Because she’s a ho, she is immune to mono, kisses a nerd with the affliction (that was sort of nice, actually), then kisses Finn, who gives it to Quinn. It’s actually helpful though, because it makes them decide to stop cheating. Santana: the accidental do-gooder.

“That was the first time anyone ever sang me a love song…and it made me feel like crap.” –Lauren

Puck’s lusting after another lady, this time it’s Lauren, the wrester turned gleek. He’s been courting her, but she wants nothing to do with him, so he tries a host of different ways to get her attention, including singing “Fat Bottomed Girls” to her. Thank God they didn’t let that one slide. Of course she was insulted; no girl, no matter her insecurities are, wants them to be paraded around like that. As much as I love when Puck sings, this one was painful.

Of course by the end, he gets her to go to Breadstix with him (after she stood him up once, forcing him to make out with a married waitress) for a friend date…with potential.

“His name is Jeremiah. If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50% discount.” –Blaine

We knew from the first two minutes between Kurt and Blaine this episode, that Kurt was not the apple of Blaine’s eye. That was too easy, there has to be someone else, and there is. Kurt is of course devastated, but helps Blaine anyway to convince the archaic Warbler council to allow the choir to serenade the guy in a Gap. As great as the performance of “When I Get You Alone” was (even if they took “shit” out of the lyrics but left in “toys in the drawer tonight” which is a reference to SEX toys, censors!), I could not get over the obvious cross-promotion here, but it could have been way worse.

Jeremiah gets fired and outed as a gay man at the Gap and turns Blaine down, leading Kurt to be totally honest about his feelings for Blaine. Blaine says he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship (UGH, that’s the WORST) and Kurt says they’ll just be like When Harry Met Sally – because they end up together. Woo. They’d better. Kurt deserves a hottie boyfriend.

“To all the singles out there, this is our year.” –Kurt

Sure it was a little cheesy, but the conclusion to the Valentine’s Day episode should be – the only other real option is melodrama, so let’s not be too picky here, okay? Kurt gets up to host his adorable “Lonely Hearts Club Dinner” with entertainment from the recently freed Warblers as they sing one of my favorite songs, “Silly Love Songs.” It truly warmed my heart (except for the part where they point out how Santana is so alone; I laughed a little there). The song selection is perfect for the Warblers, unlike the pop songs they keep trying to pull off, and it was a perfect end to a ball o’ romantic drama. Simple, happy, sweet; just like Valentine’s Day should be.

Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.