‘Gossip Girl’ Recap: Tulips Are Never Just Tulips

Not to worry. My new intern is already here. – Blair

Blair is still going at warp speed at W, but her tactics have rubbed all her interns the wrong way and have all quit and threatened her with lawsuits for giving them PTSD. Just as one of the other girls at the magazine was pointing out how the last person who lost all their interns was fired, Dan walked in and found Blair completely lost among everyone’s requests for articles on white truffles and hydrangeas. Dan casually remarked he was still looking for an internship, and Blair said she would only have him be her intern if he agreed to do everything she needed him to, and Dan said that he would be her intern if she would say that she needed him. Blair held out for as long as she could but finally caved when she realized that the cup that held her pens was not the cup that held her coffee.

The slap was a nice touch. – Chuck

After Lily was relieved of her duties on the board of Bass Industries on Valentine’s Day, she devised a plan with Chuck to have a fight in front of Russell that would make it seem like they were still at odds with each other, even though they had worked things out because they both wanted to see Russell destroyed. So in the bar at The Empire, Chuck and Lily had their fight (fully aware that Russell was sitting in the corner and watching their spat), which was concluded with Lily slapping Chuck across the face. Once they met up again in a limo, Chuck told Lily that next, they needed to find a way to distract Russell so that they could get the passwords to his computer, find out who had invested in the deal, and tell whoever it was that Bass Industries was more profitable if kept intact. So when Russell called and told Lily to meet him for a drink, she did so to keep him distracted while Chuck went into his office, downloaded a copy of the Bass acquisition contract, and found out who Russell had partnered with.

I know that Dan and Nate were just trying to help but they actually made things worse by going to see Damien’s father. – Eric

Lily’s party planning for Eric’s 18th birthday celebration was halted when it appeared as though Eric got the flu. When Serena went back to her mother’s apartment to check on him, he admitted that he wasn’t sick and told her how Damien had approached him the week before and said that if he didn’t help him get back Dan and Nate for telling his father that he was dealing drugs again, Damien would tell everyone that Lily committed a felony when she forged an affidavit that sent a man to prison. So to make sure Damien didn’t send his mom away, Eric did whatever Damien told him to do, which today, was receiving a bunch of tulips that had cocaine in them. Serena told Eric to go back upstairs, tell Lily that he still wanted to have an 18th birthday party, and said that she would handle the whole thing. Serena told Ben what she was going to do to help her brother and her mother, but Ben obviously didn’t think it was such a good idea for Serena to get all mixed up in it and that a much better idea would be for her to do nothing, and if Damien went to the police and told them about Lily, then it would be a good thing because she would finally face the consequences that come with sending an innocent man to prison. Serena wasn’t much interested in that, and so they parted ways for the day.

You mean, walk? – Raina

Chuck asked Nate to bump into Raina and talk him up so that Raina would give him a second chance. So Nate caught her as she was coming out of a tea date, and since she couldn’t find a cab or her driver, he offered to escort her through the park over to her meeting with Ivanka Trump. They walked by Wallman Rink and after marveling at the people kissing and the people doing Tai Chi, Raina admitted she’d never been ice skating, so Nate made her put on some skates and give it a go. Once Nate spilled cider on Raina’s dress, they both went back to Nate’s apartment and talked about how great it is to do nothing but smoke pot in sweatpants at 2PM.

What purple sticky note? – Minion

Unable to plan anything on her own, Eric and Serena stopped by Blair’s office to seek help for dealing with Damien’s cocaine encrusted tulips. Once Blair devised how they were going to get around the situation and wrote it down on a sticky note, she pasted it onto her laptop and instructed one of her minions to take care of it. But before the minions got to Blair’s office to retrieve their assignments, Blair told Dan that she desperately needed his help and that he could start by taking care of one of the millions of tasks she had outlined on her desk. Dan removed the first post-it he saw (which happened to be the one marked “URGENT”), and assumed he would get credit later for his prioritization skills. Once he completed the job and picked up the tulips and brought them to Lily’s house for Eric’s party, Serena realized they were not the cocaine tulips (like they were supposed to be) and became fearful when she realized that Damien was going to find out soon that his shipment had not been picked up. Which Damien did, quite promptly, and he told Eric that since the cocaine had been pre-sold, Eric now owed him $100,000.

I’m sorry, I’m going to help my brother now. – Serena

As Serena was helping Eric find the gift that had the access code to his trust fund (so he could use some of it to pay Damien for the mismanaged tulips) during the party, Ben texted Serena and told her to come downstairs. When she did, he told her that he found out she went to Blair and asked for help in making sure her mother didn’t get charged with a felony, and this was very upsetting to him because Lily ruined his life and it went against what Serena had said to him about choosing him over her family. Serena said she didn’t have time to deal with it and she rushed back upstairs to find her mother walking in on Eric writing a check to Damien for $100,000.

Chuck here is just trying to manipulate you to pull your backing. – Russell

When Chuck broke into Russell’s office, he found out that a guy named Kipp was investing in the deal to acquire Bass Industries and invited him to Eric’s party so he could make a clear case as to why his dad’s company would be more profitable if it was kept as a whole. Russell tried to make the case that Chuck was lying, Kipp sided with Chuck and said he’d rather stay at the party and hear more about why the company shouldn’t be dismantled. After Eric’s party ended and Chuck had convinced Russell’s investor to hold off for a bit, he called Nate and told him to bring Raina over to Lily’s. Nate said that Raina left hours ago after she figured out Nate was working to convince her that Chuck wasn’t such a bad guy. When Nate hung up, Raina peeked out from behind the shadows and said she was completely done dating guys like Chuck, and that she’d much rather spend her days ice skating and dipping nachos into chocolate ice cream with Nate. Down on street level, Ben accosted Damien and said if he ever had Lily charged with a felony, he was going to have one of his prison buddies kill him. Damien pretended like he wasn’t afraid, but handed him Eric’s $100,000 check just to make sure. But after he did, Damien walked right over to Russell Thorpe’s office and began telling him about how the two of them could send Lily to prison.