Dear fans of The X Factor, Glee, and any other Fox programs ripped from the schedule thanks to the World Series,
Simmer down now.
I’m sorry, that was harsh. I mean, cool your jets. Every year, Fox hosts this little thing known as the Major League Baseball post-season, this includes the anxiety-inducing playoffs and of course, the Big Kahuna: the World Series. Game 1 aired last night, and it was glorious.
For most fans of sports, fun, and America, this time of year is exciting. It’s a pre-holiday blitz of irrational yelling, elated and unintelligible cheering, and sanctioned drinking on a work night. It’s one of the best times of the year. It’s a time when you get to enjoy the faux-anger of a team rivalry with your friends and cohorts in a friendly (though it doesn’t always appear that way) display every time the boys in blue (or red or orange or green) take the field. It’s great, so great that we temporarily forget that we’re without episodes of some of our favorite televisual escapes.
“How could you forget?” you may ask. “We’re eagerly anticipating the return of Rachel Berry and Co. How can you handle the wait?” Well, there are a few answers to your questions (one for each potential game of the Series).
1. Baseball. Champions. Are. Important.
Don’t you see? Whoever wins the World Series earns bragging rights for their fans for an entire year. From the end of November until October the following year, the champs’ fans get to boast, brag, and beat their chests and no one can say nay – except, of course, the losing side who earns a year of the phrase “we were robbed.” This is a big deal.
2. It only happens once a year.
That means for approximately a week and half with a few other nights peppered in throughout October, you have to put up with baseball taking over your beloved Fox shows. Only once! Then it’s over and you’re back to trying to figure out which of Britney Spears’ singers deserves to sing again next week. Breathe. It will be okay.
3. There’s simply not enough time in the day.
Some of us love both television and baseball. What? How could that be possible? It just is. And for those of us who love both sport and entertainment, it’s a blessing to have a bit of a programming break during postseason baseball. Who has time to watch a three (or so) hour baseball game and then watch the three hours of TV that happened while the baseball was going on? Not many people. We have jobs, you know.
4. Think of Postseason Baseball like Christmas break.
Look, your TV shows take a winter hiatus for two weeks before Christmas and two weeks after New Year’s Eve. That’s a might huge break, and the networks don’t even replace all that empty space with alternate programming. It’s just reruns! If you can stomach that, you can stomach a few weeks of America’s greatest pastime.
5. It’s American, and you live in ‘Merica.
This is also known as the “everybody’s doing it” argument. Last year, when the St. Louis Cardinals battled the Texas Rangers, an average of 16.6 million viewers tuned in over the span of seven games, reaching a peak of 25.4 million viewers during the final, series-ending showdown. That’s a lot of people. That many people can’t be wrong, right?
6. If you want it to be over, you have a built-in excuse to root for the team that’s ahead.
My father would cry foul over such a suggestion, but why not turn your rage at the absence of Will Shuester’s curly coif by channeling your rage into ardent support of whatever team is ahead in the World Series. After all, it only takes four wins to take the title, the more games the winningest team takes early on, the faster the whole thing will be over with.
7. Books are still a thing, you know.
Okay, so you don’t like any of my reasons. Fine. Remember those pages full of words we used to read in school? They’re like magazines, but longer and with fewer pictures. Some of your favorite television shows and movies couldn’t exist without the books that inspired them. If you’re not going to enjoy one of the greatest games known to man, then do yourself a favor and read a book. It will be fun, I promise.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP Photo]