There’s a chance it may be too soon to officially declare something this monumental, but from the looks of last night’s Nashville, it appears that Dana Brody could have some competition in the TV-daughters-that-creep-us-out category. Up until now, it’s been second-nature to relate any and all cryptic child moments to Dana’s awful existence. The Homeland daughter has become more famous for her annoingly pained expression — or “DanaBrodyFace,” as GQ calls it — and being a poster child for birth control than for her actual role on the show, which has been as integral to the plot as the windshield wipers are to a car’s engine running smoothly. She’s been nothing but a hit-and-run terrorist diversion. Anyway, it’s time we shift our attention to the Devil inside Maddie Conrad (Lennon Stella), the little scamp on TV’s favorite (and only) country music soap opera.
Maddie has played it safe so far. All she seems to do is bake cakes and play with her younger sister, Maisy. She wears glasses and safe clothing and doesn’t do drugs, or give the world reasons to hate her. But she may have been been playing us for fools. All of us. Last night, Maddie — with her long Dana-like hair — ran into her father’s room. “Dad. Dad? DAD!” she warbled out softly, just barely above audible, just like Dana. She then squeaked into his door and cracked it open seamlessly, Dana’s signature move. Then she did a fair bit of snooping on his conversation. Ahem, classic Dana.
Turns out, dear ole’ dad is having an affair. What did she do with this information? She harbored it, deep inside. She let it bubble until she couldn’t handle her furrowed brow any longer and then came clean. But not to her father. The ghoulish child clutched her mother, Ms. Rayna Jaymes, the Queen of Country, and revealed the sad truth in a whisper. That’s just like Dana, to throw a bomb just when everyone is at their most vulnerable.
She may have had good intentions in the past (or just hid it perfeclty), but now, nothing about this child screams safe anymore. Not her butterfly hair clips or even her abilitiy to perfectly frost a cake. I fear we have a new Dana upon us, my friends. Perhaps even a demon child just waiting to break free. When the time for exorcism comes, just remember that I warned you first.
[Image Credit: Hollywood.com Illustration]
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